tiktok, bfing gurus, bfers, interested parties of all creed and colour... heyulp! bfing a preemie baby... top tips please

[Aitch]

don't know where to start, really...

dd is two weeks old today (blimey) and put on her birthweight on wednesday so that's great. however of course she didn't start putting on weight until her formula top-ups, topping up with ebm didn't do the trick.

her weight gain today was only 30g (last few times has been double that or more) and i do put that down to the fact that i've been pumping more and therefore have been giving her more ebm top-ups than formula.

question is... what's the tipping point? she is gaining, i am producing more milk (not heaps, but volume-wise we are on target for the SCBU calculations). we were told to give dd 280mls per day in top-ups as well as bf, but with the formula it's been more like 350ml.

so do i accept the 'slow' weight gain and think of dd's longer-term benefits having protected my supply, or do i want her on formula but with more energy to feed, iyswim?

midwife has suggested one top-up of formula, and at the next topping-up with ebm, this seems like a reasonable compromise to me, but am i missing something.

First time ever!!! woohoo, Aitch. v. fab. She does not look like a prem baby at all - a little trooper. I recall H&M having okish bf-ing tops - plain v-neck things - but if (oh Please) I get to do it again, I think I'd go for the co-ordinating (or not) vest/top combo - does that not appeal? She must have put on weight - she just must have. How are her nappies and general demeanour?

Yes, lots of vests VV good for outdoor BF. One top up over top, artfully arranged; vest down to cover washboard flat stomach.

they only had a vest/not v good bra combo thing, unfortunately. i have acouple of bravado vest bra things anyway, although was just wearing a bra today. i'm going to have to get better at this, i feel. it's just that to get dd latched on is a bit of a palaver (mucho wheedling and begging on my part, plus muttering 'nose to nip, tum to tum etc') so doing it under a top would just be impossible.

and thanks, wilf. i saw what you did there. it was mix feeding last time. you know what, i think i had exactly the same issues that i have now, so this time have been better prepared. BUT if i was still topping up with formula/ebm after every feed like i'm supposed to be, i think i'd be failing already again. i'm going to complain WILDLY about this to the paed tomorrow, silly fuckers pay lip service to bfing but advice pumping and topping up with what you get from the pump and formula beyond that. well how's that NOT going to result in mix feeding in the medium term, then?

rofl at muttering

wot habbibu said about the nappies: are they any help to give you more confidence about what is coming out, ergo going in?

nappies are fine, honest. she's a prodigious poo-er. hv was asking about the wet nappies, the ones without poo (which we don't get as she shits constantly), but surely it's not relevant. wet poo is still wet, isn't it?

Aitch, I didn't bf my huge, greedy term dd in public until she was about 7 weeks old - you're doing spectacularly well. Anyway, autumn is here, so draping yourself in elegant scarves is clearly de rigeur. Oh, I'm Sure she'll have put on weight - keeping fingers crossed for you, and hope the paed listens. Are you seeing the consultant?

Yes, I never got the wet nappy thing for ages as dd crapped everytime she fed. Sometimes 3 times! But yes, I reckoned that liquid shit is still liquid!

well, if she poos constantly i can't see that you have anything to worry about, whatever happens at the weigh in. if it is coming out, it is going in, and she will be digesting exactly what she needs. She couldn't digest anymore were it a top up presumably? Unless i'm missing something about nutrition and bowels and all... So I think you will be fine tomorrow and are fine and are doing brilliantly...

habs, i hope you get to experience this very soon , but now that i've got 2 i can't tell you why the fuck i wasn't out of my pyjamas for a month with dd1. babies... piece of piss, they just sleep, shite and eat. toddlers, otoh.

heh heh. We have palmed off our elder two to be left with the baby for a break in the last year since he was born. it was bliss to just have a screaming, constantly feeding newborn.

I thought I would never get out of the house or wear make up or cook again with DS1. Wuss!

Oh, I did not know I was born with dd, believe me - dh's year-long sabbatical started 2 weeks before she was born. We were waited on hand and foot... (and the clever sod wrote a book in the meantime). Ho hum. Won't be getting that luxury again for a while...

oh aitch, what a nice pair of children.

i did my own bold experiment with ds in refusing top ups when bf hadn't begun well. with hindsight i was quite mad, he was properly skinny at about 10weeks. or maybe not, he was fine within a few weeks. perhaps we are conditioned to want babies to be as fat as possible.

Aitch - just wanted to say that your DDs look so lovely together, and it sounds like feeding is going really well. Good luck with the weigh-in tomorrow, but sure all will be fine.

Feel a bit sheepish posting as I have no experience feeding prem babies... hope you don't mind.

OMG!!!
Sorry, didn't realsie it was 1st time ever out breastfeeding!!
That is so wonderful!

I dunno much about preemies but as you say, vague advice about topping up is surely Not Good Enough.

"babies... piece of piss, they just sleep, shite and eat. toddlers, otoh."

Some babies though ... piss cry, sleep cry, shite cry and eat and then cry......and they then become toddlers........gah!

You are doing fabulously! B/feeding outside is quite daunting for a while. Just when you become comfortable with it, the little blighters learn how to projectile poo whilst feeding

dd2 certainly isn't fat, she's got, as her sister puts it, 'baggy knees'. am glad your bold experiment worked out. my sister was told to top up with her dd and now at 12 weeks is desperate to ditch them. i said at the time that i thought it might be dodgy advice but it's so hard, isnt' it, standing up to HVs etc, especially with your first? well done you for having done it.

oh yes, the crying. dh is wandering around the room with a crying dd2 at teh moment. she's overeaten, i think, and has given herself the hiccups and a sore tum. the little twerp.

And it took me until 6 weeks to get up the courage to feed in public with DS, and that was with a whole gang of NCT-types in a v bf-friendly cafe. Now weather's getting a bit colder, cardis are quite handy for covering up whilst b-fing...

there are some pics of ds which are quite horrid, bony baby is not nice. it is all so primal and confusing.

shout if you get really wobbly and i will send you skinny baby / large boy pics.

H&M Mama are the bestest ever nursing tops.

Well done on going out, it gets easier and eventually even the men folk get used to it!

I remember the baggy stage, I used to find it funny in the bath that her arms would flap around with the water moving. It takes a long time for it to fill up, so don't worry about it too much.

Oh well done on out and about bfing Aitch.
It sounds like you are doing 'top down' to feed - am I right? You'd prob find it more discreet to do top up. Get yourself some of those belly bands to keep your midriff warm and covered - available online so you don't even need to go out to fetch them.

Well done on feeding out! My first times were confined to feeding rooms etc - by the time #i got to 3rd born BabyDragon I had my tits out in the front window of Starbucks

H&M vest tops and a cardi/othertop over are perfect for bf-ing. They're cheap and nice and long for a start. Top goes up, vest neck goes down, sorted with no wobbly bits on display

I found H&M nursing tops OK and loved them at the start but the vest/top combo turned out to be much better and more versatile for me

Well done on the boobs out in Pizza Express Aitch! I never got on with those 'bfing' tops which I found showed more boob than just pulling my top up. Of course now I have a toddler to reveal as much flesh as possible for a lark so have banned bfing out of the home.

When DD1 was born I didn't like to look at her naked as she was so skinny (looked like a spatchcock chicken!). I just kept her dressed until she filled out a bit after a couple of months . Didn't bath her much anyway and it was too cold for much nakedness!

A friend of mine who had a prem baby in the spring was so pleased when I told her this as she felt the same and was confusing it for a lack of love - just a normal reaction to baggy skin methinks. I also didn't like getting her dressed, bending her arms into tiny vests but I think this was just because she was my first and so spindly.

Anyway at the rate your DD2 is guzzling she'll be a 10lber before we know it. She might even hit 0-3 month clothes - major milestone!!!