tiktok, bfing gurus, bfers, interested parties of all creed and colour... heyulp! bfing a preemie baby... top tips please

[Aitch]

don't know where to start, really...

dd is two weeks old today (blimey) and put on her birthweight on wednesday so that's great. however of course she didn't start putting on weight until her formula top-ups, topping up with ebm didn't do the trick.

her weight gain today was only 30g (last few times has been double that or more) and i do put that down to the fact that i've been pumping more and therefore have been giving her more ebm top-ups than formula.

question is... what's the tipping point? she is gaining, i am producing more milk (not heaps, but volume-wise we are on target for the SCBU calculations). we were told to give dd 280mls per day in top-ups as well as bf, but with the formula it's been more like 350ml.

so do i accept the 'slow' weight gain and think of dd's longer-term benefits having protected my supply, or do i want her on formula but with more energy to feed, iyswim?

midwife has suggested one top-up of formula, and at the next topping-up with ebm, this seems like a reasonable compromise to me, but am i missing something.

oh-hoooh. i got loads more.

she might not have gained, you know. there's this whole thing that she might be tiring rather than sated iykwim? and so by not offering top-ups i may be being a Complete BItch.

my instinct? i'd be a lot happier if dd didn't have a cold. but the thing is that if her nose is blocked up and i give her a bottle and then pump... i'm jjust fucking up my bfing. so i need her to work on things a bit, for both our sakes.

Have you tried sucking snot out of her nose yourself?
(Sounds gross but can work)

Are you not just plugging her on boob for loooong stretches?

Doesnt a weird and wonderful thing happen with b/fed babies that their nose unblocks a bit whilst b/feeding?

have tried that, moony, but it's blocked hard and further up. i am of course panicking about respiratory infections. it does unblock if she can latch on for long enough. have been squirting sterile water iripod things up her nose to clear it for long enough to get on. [cruel]

Axh, it'll be fine. Loads of babies get colds and mANAGE.

hAVE faith in yuor bahdeeeee.

aitch - you are doing amazing stuff here

Snotty noses are part of being a baby - but I can well understand that this is deffo Not the Right Time to have a snotty nose

I don't expect it to make a real difference, though, to anything but your confidence.

i have zero faith in my bardy, malheureusement...

I've just been reminded now of crusty snotty nipples, thanks! Tink has asthma so she's always snotty, it was worse when she was on more often.

Aitch just remember that babies gain less weight on BM than FM and that it's totally normal. Tink was gaining 1-2 oz a week when she first born. Even now she still doesn't gain much, she's about the size of a baby half her age, even Alexander (AlexanderPandersMum) isn't that far behind her, he's 16 months and was about the same gestation.

just looked at your pictures - your dds are beautiful
best of luck with the bfing

Don't stress about the weigh-in, aitch - you have a huge "get out of jail free" card here because she has a cold, and hence a perfectly good reason not to have gained weight at her usual rate. So don't let anyone dent your bf confidence over this, OK? < wags finger >

If you have a dropper at home (any tube thing with a bulb on the end) you can put a bit of saline nosedrop in and then suck out the snot that way. It's weirdly satisfying quite effective for clearing their noses just before a feed.

Aitch, love the pics - what delightful girls you have.

My sis uses a syringe to squirt the bmilk up the baby's nose. The GP gave her the syringe but reckoned bmilk was better then saline....

My girls have woken up full of snot too so much be a virtual MN cold, transmitted via the keyboard.

SYRINGE! yes!
i have one of those bulb things, wellie, but lol it's far too big for her teeny nose.

dh off to register dd2's birth. hunker and lapin will be pleased with her middle name. (it's my grandma's as well).

I thought when she told me that she just squirted it straight up there too! Mind you she does squirt all over the show - very inefficient IMO.

I gave my nephew a bit of booby the other morning and he seemed to think my lack of spray was hilarious - lazy bugger!

Aitch - you are doing great, but completely understand the nervousness waiting for the weigh-in tomorrow, and I think it's even scarier when a paed is doing it. BUT they should have access to the lovely breastfed prem baby chart rather than then standard red book chart (which is based on FF babes). When we went for DS's first weigh-in post exclusive direct BFing I was terrified, and he was fairly slow to gain weight, but on their charts he was doing fine (within normal range anyhow) and the paed was v supportive...

As for colds, they are a bugger. DD has cystic fibrosis so made it lots of fun... We have a "snot sucker" bought by a french friend which is basically a tube with a filter that you use to suck.. But don't use it often as if used too often actually can stimulate more mucous production from the irritation... Other than that I've always used children's olbas oil, even when v tiny (just a couple of drops) plus I try sitting for a while in a v steamy bathroom... Plus the usual not letting them sleep flat (though I generally kept both mine in a sling most of the day). I also upped my intake of onions and garlic (both of which are antiviral & antibacterial) in the hope it would pass through the breastmilk!! But BM will help her get rid of this quicker than formula anyhow..

You are right to be a bit concerned as her lungs wouldn't be as mature as a full-termer BUT she will most probably be exactly the same as any newborn fighting a cold. Just keep an eye (or ear) out for wheeziness, or high temps, or prolongued rapid breathing, especially if you see the skin on the neck, around collar bone or tummy being sucked in hard which means she's having to work too hard. Hope it passes v soon x

Good luck for tomorrow! You are doing the best thing, prems are a bit slow off the starting block when it comes to weight gain- so don't worry if she's slowed a bit (plus a cold makes her burn more calories anyhow so usually causes growth to slow a bit). My DS was under 20th centile for ages but now sits above the 75th- but that change has only happened between age 2 & 3!!

PS. Beautiful photies

They're not just based on FF babies, it covers all babies so is quite biased by FF being so different to BF babies. Also has an effect on ethnicity and maturity as they can effect the growth patterns of babies.

I nearly cried when I saw the BF prem chart in Tink's notes! She looked... normal! Right at a time when my HV was panicking her weight wasn't moving there she was nicely moving along a fairly flat line on his chart!

You just reminded me what I used to do when Tink was suffly, I put some drops of Olbas (or similar) on a hanky and tucked it inside my bra so that when we cuddled it came through my clothes to her without being too strong for her.

LOL at the teeny nose, good point! Know any tame lab technicians who could lend you a teeny weeny pipette?

Mind you, the syringe-up-the-nose idea sounds like a lot of fun, I'd go with that actually .... [grin[

If her middle name is the same name as hunker and the rabbit's - it's my middle name too. And one of dd1's two middle names. And my mum's first name.

Hey Aitch, brilliant that you're BF! Completely!

Your DD2 so DOES NOT look like a preemie in those pictures. An I am loving the pictures of your BEEYOOTIFUL DD1 enthusiastically posting the gruffalo in next to Giulia. Cos newborns MUST have gruffalos, obv.

Another snot-busting tip: have you tried gently massaging the affected nostril(s) downwards from the very top of the nose right down to the, er, flappy bit... Worked to help clear some major solid blockages when DS3 was little. IMHO (but never had a prem baby) was they mostly feed through snot anyhow, even if it seems like they are struggling, mine just kind of stopped and gasped for breath occasionally.

PITA for you when you're on eggshells though.

And - dunno if this helps, tell me to fuck right off if it doesn't - the more you keep BF, the quicker the colds will pass...

Hope the weigh in goes well.

How did it go today Aitch?

ho-kay... if you want a blow-by-blow (or suck by suck) account...

met dh and dd1 in town for a pootle round a gallery, fed dd in the childrens art area (fortunately no prying eyes around) then went for lunch. figured pizza express would be fairly bfing-friendly (man, they used to be good but the food was SHITE) but had forgotten to bring scarf and was wearing a v-neck so i was a bit less discreet than i might have liked.

more to the point, i was a bit less discreet than dh might have liked, lol. he's v supportive etc but i was pushing his man boundaries i think. (did point out that there was a woman in a cleavage top showing considerably more flesh than i was but apparently that's not the point.) not that he was uncomfortable etc etc but some of the other patrons might have been etc etc etc. love him, he's not as reconstructed as he thinks.

then went to mothercare on my own (in search of fancy bottles, so still not that confident, clearly) and had a lovely half hour in their bfing room on a spiffy rocking chair.

dd slept her way round h&m (seraching for more discreet bfing wear, fruitlessly) and has then fed on and off since we got home. SURELY to god she's put on weight? find out tomoz at 3.10.

Oh, it's tomorrow!
Sounds like a nice day though!

no you twit. you're supposed to congratulate me on having the guts to bf outside of the house for the First Time Ever.

Rooting for you and her...

Sounds promising though... I wasn't here (on MN) when you had your last one but I seem to remember you posting that you had to express for ages or exclusively or summat? So you're doing so well to be exclusively feeding now, it seems? In the circs and her being early and all I can totally understand your anxieties. But you're doing it, and any stupid advice hurdles can easily be overcome with the Power of MN, surely?

Will the weight gain be a big issue for her as the paeds see it do you think? Or for you? Or both? Do you have a plan for what if they say things you don't want to hear or is it playing it by ear?

Maybe you don't want to talk about it. Maybe you do. Ah, it's an up and down business. I had different issues but was so ready to throw in the towel so many times. I, and others, are here if you want to sound off.

First-time EVER? (sorry to hijack your chat with my new hero Moondog)

That is fantastic too.

Norks out of V neck in Pizza Express, not a care in the world. heh heh heh.