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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Is anyone else getting 'bitty' comments because they are still breastfeeding????!!!!

64 replies

ILikeYourSleeves · 24/08/2008 16:03

DS is almost 10 months old and his auntie wanted to look after him for the afternoon yesterday which was great. DH and I went into town for a baby free wander and were away for about 3 hours. When I got back to the inlaws DS started pawing at my boobs when he saw me, obviously rather peckish as he didn't have much food for lunch as he is teething just now. So sister in law says 'are you still feeding him?' to which I say 'yes but only really a few times a day now ha ha though he must be hungry just now' etc etc, to which the conversation between sister in law and mother in law immediately turns into laughing about 'bitty' and them talking (again.... yawn) about a mother who was still feeding her son when he started school (OMG shock horror call the police!).

It's starting to piss me off a bit that every time I'm asked if I'm STILL feeding DS they start taking the piss in a round about way. My family are the same, joking that he'll still be getting breastfed when he's 18 etc. Argh! I do end up spouting off WHO guidelines but I think they are thinking it's a bit weird as DS is getting older. Does anyone else get the 'bitty' treatment or is it just my weirdo family???

OP posts:
sushistar · 24/08/2008 23:05

14 weeks!?!

I get the teeth thing too - I think that's what freaks people out rather than ds being 8 months. He has SIX shiny white teeth, and comments include, 'you're brave, letting him near you like that!' and 'at the first sign of teeth, I'd stop breatfeeding like a shot!' and even 'I didn't know you could do that when they've got teeth...'

stretchmarkqueen · 24/08/2008 23:07

They think it's funny. They are pro bf, and i've tried to explain why it's basically making me feel shite, but they don't listen.

When I say they are pro bf, I mean I'm the only one that has done it, and they are quick to tell everyone that I'm good at it , but at that same time they're quick to put me down too!

theSuburbanDryad · 24/08/2008 23:08

I'm afraid I would still tell them to go fuck themselves.

stretchmarkqueen · 24/08/2008 23:12

I will let you know the outcome next time they say it!!!

I have just shown this thread to dp, who has said it once, and he now understands why it's hurtful and undermining. He's promised to defend me next time!

Ta ladies!!

BeHereNow · 24/08/2008 23:12

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

laluvsmatthew · 24/08/2008 23:17

i get it all the time..... are u STILL breastfeeding if my 7mo was taking bottle no questions would be asked.........whats that all about!!!! pardon me 4 being lucky enough 2 be able 2 feed my baby naturlly..a-holes

kiskidee · 24/08/2008 23:34

look at them apologetically and say, "oh, i see you have issues with breastfeeding. have you ever considered where they come from?"

then look lovingly at your baby and stroke his hair.

jellybrains · 24/08/2008 23:45

stretchmarkqueen- I can't believe the comments you have had when you have such a young baby that is ridiculous I think I would be telling them how rude they are to comment on it. i am still feeding my 7 month dd but havent had any comments yet, bring it on!

chipmonkey · 25/08/2008 01:14

BHN, my db was bf till he was 3 but started talking about it very early on! He called my Mum's right breast "ajeep" and the left one "yoyoya".

BouncingTurtle · 25/08/2008 08:50

Chipmonkey - that's so funny!

I now have a new ally in dh's family - BIL's new girlfriend is still giving a bedtime feed and sometimes a morning feed('when I can't be arsed to get out of bed') to her dd who is 2.5! She rocks Don't know if rest of family are aware, I suspect there would be some if they did know, so don't blame her for not broadcasting it!

jammi · 25/08/2008 10:45

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FRAGGLE06 · 25/08/2008 16:50

Thank god for this thread, it's given me confidence. DD is 16 months and I was starting to feel like the only woman in the world breastfeeding at this age.
Thanks ladies.

FRAGGLE06 · 25/08/2008 16:52

kiskidee - fantastic, i almost want a chance to use that one now!

onwardandupward · 25/08/2008 17:32

Oh oh oh Pudding completely wins this thread with 'congratulations on passing your degree in paediatrics'. Love it!!!

I have breastfed, ahem, some considerable way beyond 10 months old, and still going strong through pregnancy. I have never ever had a direct negative comment. Maybe because I so completely give off an attitude of "what, you want my child to be completely distressed because they want human milk at this moment but you have issues about it and I'm supposed to pay heed to your issues?"

And every time circumstances play out so that I breastfeed outside the privacy of our home, or my circle of friends (who mostly seem to nurse well beyond 2 as well), I feel like I am striking a blow for every woman who is nursing a baby over 6 months old. If I'm doing it like it's the most normal thing in the world, then people will find it harder to think that it isn't.

A good friend of mine was on a long haul flight recently, and her heart sank when she realised that the flight was totally full and she'd have someone RIGHT next to her, and there was no way her 4-year-old nursling was going to do an umpteen hour night flight without needing to nurse at some point. But the man sitting next to them was middle eastern, and he did not Bat An Eyelid. Just had a pleasant smily conversation with them while the nursling curled up and had a sleepy nurse. It really is only the West which has this screwed up view of the function of the human breast.

InTheDollshouse · 25/08/2008 17:40

jammi, do you have an LLL group near you?

jammi · 25/08/2008 21:16

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glitterkitty · 25/08/2008 22:03

Hmmm... I just had this- an old mate from pre-baby days asked me straight out in the pub on Sat if I was still bf'ing. When I said 'too right!' (ds 15 months and LOVES num-nums) she and another friend went loudly 'Ewww! Ugh ugh and he's got teeth, thats so wrong! Bitty! etc'

I just tried to ignore it as I was a bit shocked by their rudeness tbh and couldnt think how to reply- I could only say 'wait till you have a baby- then comment'.

StealthPolarBear · 25/08/2008 22:03

Mum and MIL ahve both asked once when I planned to stop...never again
No one else has commented, fed DS at a huge family wedding recently, in front of people who I know were a bit about feeding an older child when he was tiny - they were all lovely!
I do think it's sad though that the emphasis, as soon as bfing becomes comfortable, is on setting targets and deadlines to stop.

MelissaM · 28/08/2008 14:12

Thanks ladies - I feel much better about bf'ing my (almost) 14mo now and the negative comments I am getting from my family (Mum and DH mainly)

Stretchmark - at comments you have received when lo only 14 wks!!!!!

mawbroon · 28/08/2008 22:23

I haven't had this comment (feeding an almost 3yo ds) but have decided that I would deal with it as follows:

Bitty? What's bitty? Then when they start explaining, then act like I have no idea what the connection is between the sketch and my son breastfeeding.

Not sure if it will work or not, but it's worth a try!

Raspberryjam · 28/08/2008 22:38

Ignore all of them and do what feels right.
Rise above it and laugh - that will piss them off if you are not showing a negative reaction to their comments.

I have just dropped day time breast feeds for my nearly 9 month old and am continuing with one morning and one evening feed.

People like to justify the choices they have made and sometimes little cheeky comments help them to do so!!!

StealthPolarBear · 28/08/2008 22:51

Yes, I do the morning and evening feed
along with the 10am feed, the lunchtime feed, the 2pm feed, the 4pm feed, the tea time snack and the night feeds

weasle · 29/08/2008 12:58

same story here. MIL told me at 12 weeks that ds was 'almost 4 months' (?) so had no benefit from my milk now and anyway as i was going back to work soon i had to stop. I returned to work as planned when he was about 30 weeks and am still feeding, expressing once a day when at work.

she seems to have stopped commenting now (ds 8mo), the recent pro-bf article in the British medical journal helped (she is retired GP). Or maybe she just knows how i might react.

i really hope to carry on for as long as possible, as i don't see why cow's breast milk plus added fat and fish oil is superior to my milk, despite my family's opinion to the contrary!

bergentulip · 29/08/2008 13:11

I can't see that I would find it offensive for people to ask about bf-ing with teeth tbh. There is OF COURSE no issue there at all, and it is a daft reason to assume that a baby would no longer be bfing, BUT.... evem when I was bfing I was worried about teeth arriving, and getting 'nipped' accidentally by my DS, and thinking, wondering, whether it might hurt.

Therefore I hardly see why it is annoying if people ask in an inquisitive way about it, ie, as sushistar quoted from others. "you're brave, letting him near you like that!' and 'at the first sign of teeth, I'd stop breatfeeding like a shot!"

Surely that is admiration and not scorn? It would certainly be if I said something like that anyway.

ThinWhiteDuchess · 29/08/2008 14:28

My DD is one (or will be tomorrow - where the heck did that year go??!!). I still bf her and thankfully have a hugely supportive DH, mum and (surprisingly) HV. But I have had comments from MIL and friends all expressing surprise that I am continuing to bf. One friend in particular keeps going on at me to stop so that I get my "freedom" back. Wtf??

My MIL has also gone on at me, saying when DD was about 4 months old that I had to start her on a bottle otherwise she would never drink from one. Guess what, she has never drunk milk from a bottle. Big deal. I have a theory you see. I think that everyone is convinced that all babies should drink from bottles because you never ever see a child being bf on TV. All babies (on soaps, etc) either have a bottle or a dummy stuck in their mouths permanently. I am sure this is just to keep them quiet on set. But it is now ingrained in the majority of people that babies must take a bottle.

Hey, we're doing the best, most natural thing for our LOs. Others should just butt out imho.