Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

[TinkerBellesMum]

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

I swung between hopeing my daughter would wean and hopeing she wouldn't

Overall I am glad we are tandem nursing. it can really help us, especially at the end of a busy day. It can turn bad tempered me, tired DD and hungry DS into a more peaceful unit.

Dejavous - I have definitely had points of hoping my DS would self-wean - but I never got to the point of wanting to wean him by force, iykwim.

And often I am very, very glad that he's still bfing - like on holiday when he fell over and cracked a tooth and was completely hysterical and inconsolable - a quick BF sorted him out like magic medicine! He's also a dream to get to bed compared to most of my friend's babies, which I'm sure is partly to do with winding down by feeding in a familiar way.

Now I'm 31 weeks pg and feeling slightly trepidatious at the thought I might be tandem feeding soon - but mostly looking forward to the challenge!

TYV, I'm sure I'll be able to do this. I think I really was having some sort of massive hormone surge yesterday morning

I'm going to do my very best to succeed anyway! My mum managed and she's about as determined as a totally undetermined thing. Unfortunately she remembers absolutely nothing about it so I'll not be getting a lot of help from that quarter...

you'll probably be one of those people who sail though!

Also if you are looking for info, I read this amazing book called Adventures in Tandem Nursing which is very good at giving strategies and advice on different scenarios, but is also very honest and realistic about the challenges, and very supportive if women decide they don't want to go on.

It has lots of case-studies from different women so you can kind of pick and choose what advice seems good to you - I adopted several ideas, including a brilliant counting down technique which I use when I need to limit the time of feeds (either because it's hurting or because I'm having uncomfortable/scary braxton hicks - nursing seems to make them come on really strong). I say to DS "right, you can have 10 more" and then slowly count to ten (or fast, if I need him off quick!) and he seems to respond much better than me justing saying "get off now!!"

hello people,
hope everyone is well. i got the adventures in tandem feeding on your advice and have been devouring it - have to make sure i put it away properly afterwards though as pregnancy isn't 'official' yet - another couple of weeks to go...

i have a question for those of you who are further along than me (10 weeks) or who've done this before: have you supplemented bf with cows milk from a cup? DS is 18m, and I've been noticing that his evening feed have got MUCH longer suddenly, and last night he simply wouldn't settle, I went in again and again and he just kept on saying more more and sucking for ages; then DH went in with a cup of milk and he settled well after that. This evening I gave him quite a big cup of milk after his tea, and he drank the whole lot (this is unusual), then had a happy bath, content feed, and went to sleep like a lamb.

what do you think I should do, should I offer breast first, then cup? Or milk after tea, then play, read, bath then breast? No cup at all?

I've not made up my mind about going on feeding, but I know that I'd be really really really sad if it suddenly stopped now (and tbh i think ds would be too)

CSWS -baby arrived 4 days early at 02.05 on 24/09 - 2 hours from waters breaking to arrival, about 1hr 40 mins of contractions - thought i was going to have an unplanned solo hb at 1 stage...

seem to be producing enough milk for a small village of kids - even after dd1 feeds sometimes I still feel uncomfortably full, and she threw up the last 2 mornings - don't know if that was too much milk or anything????I don't know if her still feeding is contributing to over production, or if it's just because it's early days. She's still as keen as ever, and does ask for it more often, but I want to stick to just first thing and last thing of the day - luckily dd2 has been asleep so far at those times, I haven't attempted simultaneous feeding and it's not always easy to get dd2 latched on at the moment, so no plans to try it just yet either

Hi guys, CSWS kindly linked me to this thread after my post worrying about whether colostrum would still be produced. Am only just newly pregnant (about 5/6 weeks) and have a 19 month DD who is a booby addict.

Nipples are pretty painful, but to be honest they often are anyway, I think because DD is a nipple twiddler and gives me some pretty nasty pinches. We are attempting some breastfeeding etiquette, and she is gentle for a while, then just give it a big tweak as I'm drifting off! Dreading the fact that they may get more painful by all your accounts.

We have started to talk about the baby to her, apparently she has one in her tummy too. She has also asked me to give the baby milk (dubba) too, so we will try and build on that. Half the time I think it will be great to tandem feed, and the other half I'm dreading the thought, especially the idea of explaining it to family and friends, haven't even contemplated the whole midwife scenario!

Glad to hear that we won't be doing this journey alone though, really good to hear your stories.

P.S. Many congratulations splishsplosh, please let us know about you progress in you own adventures in tandem feeding!

well my boobs started making colustrum today and ds's face after weeks of no milk was priceless

he's very pleased that my boobs are making 'special milk for the baby' and went back for another taste after he'd climbed into bed already!

littlefrog, i've been giving ds a cup of goats milk with his dinnner since he's been about a year or so.

it can't do any harm and if you're like alot of women your milk might be drying up before the colostrum comes in so it's probably a good idea to make sure he's getting something to drink in the evenings if he seems to need it, if you think his calcium intake is good enough and don't want to give milk why not offer water? although a cup of milk would probably best

splishsplosh, managed to completely miss your post!

congrats glad things are going well for you so far.

keep us posted on how the tandeming is going

Congratulations splishsplosh . Looks likely that I'll be hanging on for induction on Monday afternoon, so a few more days til I join you on the tandem front.

littlefrog - dd drinks cows milk from a cup as well as having bf - she's a total milk monster for milk of all sorts! She certainly drinks more cows milk at bedtimes now than she used to.

congratulations splishsplosh!!

Littlefrogs - I give my DS a cup of warm milk at bedtime which he sips while we're reading his story, and then he often wants to drink a bit more after he's finished bfing.

He is not big on milk (except bm!) and rarely drinks the whole cup but I like to offer him the chance just in case. It doesn't seem to affect his desire to bf.

Lots of babies self-wean during pregnancy anyway, so it's probably a good idea to get him used to other sources of milk, just in case.

Hey - hope no-one minds me bumping an old thread but I don't have anyone else to talk to about this and it's upsetting me so much.

My milk has pretty much dried up, and it's extremely painful for ds to nurse. I try and let him as much as possible, but usually I have to stop the feed before he's ready to stop and it really upsets him. He is constantly asking for "More" (after his week long nursing strike! ) and I can't stand telling him that there just isn't any "more".

I can't talk to anyone else about this - everyone I talk to says that he's had 20 months of nursing, and that I've done really well, but they don't understand how much of an integral part of my parenting breastfeeding is. It's part of who I am as a parent - and it's pretty much all ds has ever known. He does drink cow's milk, but he doesn't like being offered it instead of bm. It as though he still needs to suck for comfort and I'm seriously thinking about trying to get him onto a dummy again - he's never taken one before but there's always been the option of the breast before. He's such a boob monster at the moment, if i even pick him up for a cuddle he's got his hands down my top footling around for "buttons" (his word for my nipples!) and it just touches me out so much.

Why do our bodies make it so fucking hard?

Awww TSD. I don't suppose a nursing strike has helped your supply, so it might be that it will increase again if you keep on feeding.

Could you try having a spouted cup of milk with you when you are feeding, and encourage him to have a bit from that and then a bit from you, so that he isn't so frustrated? Dd likes to still have my boobs out, and rest my nipple in her ear () or against her cheek whilst she's drinking from the cup.

(Not an old thread btw, but an ongoing one )

Does anybody else's toddler not drink cows milk my DD hates it and always has (tried it cold and warm since 11 months). She is 23 months old now and I'm 16 weeks pregnant. We are down to one BF before bed but it has become very painful and I still have awful morning sickness. Last two nights she has been put to bed by my DH without milk as I've felt so ill.

Will the nipple pain go? Not sure if I want to wean now or not. She sleeps through without milk and goes to bed without a murmur. Worried about her lack of dairy which makes me waver, DH hates all dairy food as well and did as a child.

thesurbarbandryad - it may well get better soon, DD was still quite addicted a couple of months ago but has definitely become less keen recently.

ds drinks goats milk as dd is cows milk intolerant and he was too until recently. i keep him on goats milk as it's great for asthma and eczema both of which dp has (and both kids are mildly eczemic) so better for their health anyway even without the intolerances.

neither of mine have much appetite for milk though, i make them have it with their dinner but 8/10 the cups are still very full by the end of the meal.

congratulations splishsplosh! hope everything is continuing to go well - v exciting!

and thanks everyone for advice. Like TSD I don't feel I have anyone in real life I can talk to about this (v few people know I'm pg yet, and I know that the thing lots of people will say when I tell them is 'so you're going to have to wean ds now'...)

We're v lucky, I realise, in that DS does like milk from a soft spouted cup, and will drink a lot of it at times. It concerns me a little, because I feel I haven't made up my mind to stop, and I don't want that decision to be thrust upon me because he decides he can't be bothered with breast, cup is just more rewarding.

TSD, people just don't seem to understand, do they, that bfing is about a lot more than just milk, and that taking it away suddenly - even in the way that we are, unintentionally, by reducing the amount of milk - is really difficult for both mother and child. Do the suggestions in the tandem nursing book, about saying things like 'last one', or 'let's count to 10 then stop' help? DS gets terribly upset if I say all finished with no warning, but if I say 'last one' (he swaps sides a lot) then he is much more accepting. (this is the same as what youngvisiter is saying...)

Hiya, just catching up on this thread quickly. I'm now 12 weeks pg and still feeding 19mo DS in the morning and bedtime but like Tapster am finding it really painful (I'm still feeling nauseous too).

There doesn't seem to be much milk in the evenings although it feels like there's more in the mornings. Last week DS chose a new cup and I think I'm going to try cows' milk instead of the evening feed, but he's been teething and had disturbed nights so I don't want to change his routine til that's settled down.

Just adding this back to my list!

Anyone got anything to say about pumping for the new one? There is a strong possibility I will be having her (yes, her if anyone hasn't heard) early and I'm worried about going through what we did before of it taking a long time for me to have the milk to supply Tink, so I've been thinking about whether pumping now and freezing anything I get would help.

TBM, if you are still nursing Tink and still have milk for her then you should find your milk comes in pretty quickly, as Tink will be able to stimulate your supply and help bring it in.

You can pump now if you want, technically it's called colostrum harvesting, and some diabetic mums do it so they don't have to use formula if babys blood sugars are low at birth. You may find you don't get much, but every drop counts and ultimatly if it gives you peace of mind it's worth it.

SuburbanDryad,

I sympathise with the touched out thing. Both mine have been nipple twiddlers and I hate it. I won't let them, but they still try.

Be gentle but firm, tell him "no" (DD2 pinches too, not nice) and move his habd away. He will be cross, but he'll get over it. I have treated nipple twiddling like biting. If thy continue to do it the boobs go away.

Hijacking my own thread The Mirror today

Suburbandryad - I really sympathise - I felt virtually dry from about 4-6 months and it was really painful. And I know exactly what you mean about not feeling able to talk to other people - not many of my friends know that I am still feeding, and those that do stopped long since so can't do much more than offer sympathy.

Things I found helped:

Giving him a big drink first so he wasn't too thirsty.
Taking him off if it was painful and putting him back on again - sometimes changing the position/latch seemed to make it a bit more bearable - or perhaps he just sucked less strongly after a break.
Givign him plenty of warning if I was going to take him off, and counting down (although he did start sobbing "no count, no count" after the first few times, which was a bit heart-rending!).
And it sounds weird - but for the nipple twiddling I found that exposing the other boob completely helps - it seems to encourage him to stroke the whole thing rather than just pinch the nipple.

But basically it was bloody painful - but only until the colostrum came in and it's now got more bearable...

Tinkerbellesmum - that's so sad!!! Sitting here at my desk snuffling - you should put a disclaimer on the link for susceptible pregnant women!

Tink drinks constantly, people are always amazed at the amount she puts away. Probably why I feel like my breast is going to come through my nipple at times! If she thinks I'm going to take her off the breast she clamps (eek!) and if I warn her she shakes her head (double eek!)

LOL I'll remember that in future! Have you tried to read Take a Break when you're pregnant?

Is it terrible that I was glad they never mentioned me feeding Tink still? I was chatting to Jenny when she told me that the story had been picked up and told her I hadn't known for awhile as I'm still breastfeeding. I don't want to hide the fact, but I didn't want it to detract from the story.