Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

[TinkerBellesMum]

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

I know the feeling. I've never really been girly, but Tink is. She even finds her own outfits and tries to dress herself. She currently has silver nails (fingers and toes). She has just discovered smellies. Not sure where this pink girl has come from!

dd insists on dresses every single day!

meant to say before... ds has only got a mattress on the floor to practice on, he rolls off every few nights but it's only a little thump and he doesn't even wake. won't get him a bedframe til he's a bit older

Tink is mainly in trousers, but they have to pink or jeans with pink detail! She chooses clothes herself in Tesco.

I'd trust her on a bed, she's very edge aware from sleeping on my bed, but she wouldn't stay in it and with the option of getting out she would stay awake longer.

And she sleeps on the sofa or just gets into my bed during the day. I was telling Mum how she goes to sleep and she said "I don't think she's narcoleptic" I hadn't thought about it, but she's very much like that. The CM said she will run across the room, sit down and then she's quiet so they look for her and she's asleep on the sofa, it confuses them because she just zonks!

Hi, just seen this - fab idea for a thread Tink
Am 22 wks pg and dd (2.4) is just starting to self wean. She has been down to one feed at night for the last 8 months or so and now goes for a few days without then decides she wants some more lol! Am quite happy to tandem feed but wondering now if she will stop and then come back to it when new baby comes?
My nipples have also been quite sore (sometimes teeth-gritting) so hoping this will get better when nursing newborn....
I have not been able to express anything for over a year but dd tells me it's still coming out.
Molly - I got pg 3 times whilst bf-ing dd, when she was 1.3, 1.7 & 2. Was told that while bf-ing exclusively contraceptive cover is aroud 80% but once solids are introduced in drops off. My periods came back at about 9m.
TYV - my mw was very shocked when she asked me at booking in appt if I bf my dd. When I said "yes, and still am" her jaw just dropped! I said "shame you are shocked at people who actually DO follow the WHO guidelines...." She has not mentioned it since.

I know nipples change colour during pregnancy but mine are looking bruised. I'm also constantly (for want of a better word) dusty, it like flecks of dried milk or like I'm peeling.

You know all those people who say we only feed past six months/ a year for ourselves...?

Tink - I have got the flecks of dried milk too - sometimes looks a bit (sorry if tmi) crusty in the morning? I wondered if it was colostrum starting to leak. Nipples are darker and feel bruised too

I don't feel bruised anymore, thankfully! I am having the heavy, tingly feelings of early breastfeeding. I even responded to a baby crying on the bus the other day! Thankfully I don't have enough milk to leak.

I have just started tandem nursing as of this morning but thought I would add a post here as I nursed my DD thoughout my pregnany.

I found that I got very sore nursing my toddler for a few weeks at 8 weeks pregnant but that went away.

I kept my milk thoughout the pregnancy and I didn't notice when/if the supply dropped or not, certainly my toddler gulped enough whilst nursing, for me to know she was still getting milk.

In the second trimester, DD reduced her feeds to one a day and I thought she might of self weaned but she stepped up nursing again a few days later.

We nursed thoughout the pregnancy and now I have two nurselings.

Good Luck Ladies

I did say the group was for people who have done it too, so you are welcome to stay!

How is everyone doing?

Thanks Tink I'll hang around then

Just come back onto this this thread as I am desperate for help/advice and I don't know where else to look.

I think I'm about 12 weeks pg, and I seem to have no milk left at all. Ds is wanting to nurse almost constantly (especially at night) and my nipples feel like they're hanging on by a thread. I feel totally touched out and I can't bear to even touch him or dh never mind have either of them near my boobs.

Last night we had a 3 hour tantrum because I couldn't let him nurse, this morning he's been up sobbing since half 5 because I can't have him nursing for more than 30 second sessions. Of course, he nurses for 30 secs (during which time I am biting my shoulder, or scratching my own arms to make it vaguely bearable) and then I practically throw him across the room, he wails, I have to let him back on the breast, he nurses for 30 secs and the whole hideous cycle is repeated.

Anyone who's read Adventures in Tandem Nursing or experienced this - what do i do? I know I'm going to have to wean him - and I really don't want to - i wanted to let him self wean and I wanted to tandem nurse, but my beautiful happy sunny little boy has turned into the monster demon from hell and I have no milk to comfort him. I hate this new baby - if it wasn't for this unplanned alien in my body I'd still have plenty of milk and still have my lovely baby boy rather than this horrible creature who claws at my top 24/7 and demands to nurse all the time.

theSuburbanDryad,

1. Are you sure you have no/less milk ? I ask as I thought this several times during my pregnancy and yet when I relaxed in the bath I could hand express a drop or two, so even though I thought I was dry I wasn't.

As nursing is partially comfort your LO might be wanting more comfort not necessary more milk which account for the increasing demands to nurse.

1. It is very common to feel touched out etc. The flower book has a lot on this and it is perfectly normal.

As to what to do, you have to find your own path that suits you and your DS. How does he react to distraction with small treats. Raisons or a toy. I find says a 'future Yes' helped with ym DD. i.e. Yes, you can have milk when you go for a nap (which would be in 2 hours not now)

Some people feel weaning is the only option, others find these feeling go away after a few weeks/months. Or nurse for the count of 10.

I would try hand expressing, if like me you find you still have milk, hopefully that will help you relax and if your LO picks up that mummy feels more relaxed maybe he'll stop demanding as much mik !!!

HTH

Ooh - well I've definitely still got milk, as I've just shot a big stream out! So there's obviously still milk there.

It's mainly the nursing at night that's the problem - whereas I used to sleep through him latching on and nursing, I'm now waking up and finding it very difficult to get back to sleep. Also, the sensation of nursing lying down is the one which I can't bear - sitting up is ok. But I can't sit up and nurse ds all night or I won't get any sleep at all, and ds doesn't go back to sleep unless he's lying next to me.

I can distract him in the day usually, he doesn't ask to nurse too much during the day anyway, and then it's because he wants a drink rather than comfort.

Congratulations on the birth of dc2 btw!

Thanks for the congrats

Have you tried wearing a bra in bed, so you can control when and how you nurse ?

I'm 15 weeks and feeling tons better. If you can hang in there it should get better soon.

Tink's having two holidays this year without us, her dad's parents are picking her up a week Friday and dropping her off on Tuesday - having a long weekend in their caravan. Then in October she's going to Malta for a week. I'm looking forward to the nursing break as they'll be the longest I've gone in over two years! My dad thinks she will wean whilst she's away I told Mum and she said "it's not like she's a baby and going to forget or be on bottles for a week and I promise I won't step in!" (It's been bit of a running joke as she spontaneously started lactating when Tink was born! She could have done better than me at expressing when Tink was in the Unit and tests showed it was "normal" milk)

I'm at a similar stage to you, Dryad, and also finding the night nursing hardest.

You might try nursing for a few minutes and then say gently to the sleeping child something along the lines of "that's finished now, back to sleep" or "oww, that hurts" and then breaking the latch and covering the breast? If that's acceptable to your sleeping child on half the occasions, that's a result, yes? And if not, then you just grit your teeth as you were doing for the previous couple of minutes, and try again when the suck eases again.

Suburbandryad.... have you tried feeding him lying down?

i still find feeding ds tooth grittingly painful when i sit up and he's at an angle to me but the morningfeed in bed is relatively painless in comparison.

try lots of differant poritions to see if there's one that hurts less. also try forcing him to latch properly, ds has always had a lazy latch which i've just put up with but since i've gotton sore while feeeding him i've been quite mean about insisting he's properly latched on and his arms aren't pushing on my boobs and he's lying as truned towards me as he'ss put up with, it helps.

you mention you stillfeed at night? maybe instead of total mweaning just night weaning him would be a help... he's old enough for you not to feel guilty at not allowing him to feed all night. he might surprise you and start sleeping through once he realises night feeds are out of the question. doe he have a dummy?

tink... ds does that just dropping off when he decides he wants a nap too. it's such a pleasant change after dd who never napped in her life without a fight, ds just climbs on couch and dozes off!

Hello everyone, joining this thread also from the feb thread.
My dd is 26 months and still a milk monster. My pain seems to be easing off now (am nearly 16 weeks) but it's always worse last feed at night. I think I've still got plenty of milk and I can't really imagine dd stopping as she loves bf so much. Am wondering what on earth it will be like with 2 of them!

Those of you who are already tandem nursing, did you have to stay for long in hospital with your new babies and if so what kind of impact on the older child did you notice. I was in for a week last time with emcs and am really worried about leaving dd for so long.

Pink, I'm always saying "wider, wider, wider" and "where's your tongue?" when I'm trying to latch her! I've got to be so careful now as I'm too sensitive for her to be chomping at me.

I'm worried I'll have it the other way around! I have such an easy child with Tink I'm worried about having a child that needs more attention!

Welcome idontbelieveit! I can't see Tink giving up her milk for a long time yet either. I have similar concerns as you with going into hospital. As you know we're expecting this one to be early and last time I had two weeks in hospital, a few days out and a week back in. I spent a lot of time pumping. I'm worried about how she will cope without having me there to give her milk when she wants it and how we will fit it in with her. I don't think it will be long enough for her to forcibly wean as she's not a baby and won't be getting a bottle to replace me.

she may dislike the taste of the milk when you cme home after having baby though, alot of women i've spoken to said their toddler hated the taste after the birth.

i tried giving dd some breastmilk when ds was a few weeks old and she spat it on the floor in disgust!

tbh, i'm not pushed one way or another if i tandam feed as long as it's ds's choice this time. i always felt i could have encouraged dd to continue feeding but was so tired and sore i didn't bother, i was just sort of relieved when she stopped at 12 months

The milk changes very quickly so I should imagine that while you're in hospital and they're not noticing the "nasty" colostrum.

Having found out that I am going to be having a planned cs I am now worried about how my 21m ds will cope with the three days I will be in hospital. I only feed him regularly in the mornings but I do nurse at other times if he wakes in the night.

I had been planning a vbac for this very reason, I haven't left him before .

Someone tell me he will be ok, I am rapidly working myself into a panic about this!