Pregnant and Nursing Support Thread

[TinkerBellesMum]

I thought I'd start up a support group, for those of us pregnant, with an older nursling. If you are pregnant at the moment or tandeming or have done in the past and want to add your support, please post!

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and have a 2 and a week year old. One of the first things I noticed about being pregnant was my nipples felt bruised like she'd bitten me. 8 weeks later not much has changed and I'm still spending every feed saying "gentle please".

Someone please tell me it gets easier!

I'm also starting to feel quite full and hard.

I keep getting told by my family I'll have problems tandem feeding "and how many mothers do you know who have done it?" My dad was grilling me the other day about tandeming and when I'll stop Tink nursing. He's a radiographer. I made him agree with me "Well, you know yourself that when the adult teeth come through because they're in a totally different order to the milk teeth the jaw changes shape" "Yes and around the same time the soft spot in the jaw fuses" "That change makes it impossible for them to continue nursing, that's why they got called milk teeth" lol how could he argue when he'd just backed my argument up!

I borrowed an Ella Roo wrap with ds which was fine when he was wee, but then when he got heavy it was too stretchy for back carries etc. I'm wondering now if that's the reason I never got the hang of them! I do have a lovely backpack (bush baby) but i'd like to keep that for ds as he's well supported in it, and it has deep pockets for nappies etc. But then i could still have Baba on the front in a wrap/mei tai.

The ones I make are jersey so they have some stretch in them, but I've never found them too stretchy and I'm still using them now. I don't know if the direction of the stretch has anything to do with it or whether it's just a different amount of stretch to other ones.

Where do you buy your fabric from, if you don't mind me asking?

I live in Birmingham so have the Rag Market at easy reach.

Just seen what you said about back carry. It took me ages, not because I couldn't do it I got that quite quickly, but Tink would stick her toes between my vertebrae and leave me crippled on the floor (I have lower back problems and the whole area is like a big bruise). It was only when she was older and could do what I told her that we managed it. I've helped friends do it though and they've got on OK with it. Just my pest!

Thought I'd let you all know, I interviewed with a freelance journalist last Christmas for a piece she wanted to write on "My Miracle Baby". She called me a few weeks ago to say that The Mirror want to run it for their weekly magazine and she called me today to say that Bella also want to run it! It will be a great way to raise awareness about Hughes Syndrome, I told her that I want to do that because of how many it affects and pointed her at different Hughes resources.

that's great tink... i'll even be able to get Bella over here and read it.

i'm petrified of any sling that i'm in charge of tying onto me..... pouches all the way here. although i had to stop using the one i had for ds as he weighed 9 kgs at 6 months and it was too much weight on my shoulder and he couldn't sit on my hip properly.

am thinking about that tricotti one that's basically 2 pouch slings to distribute the weight a bit better... not sure though, it'll have to be in constant use for 6 months as i'm not buying a pram after all (can't justify a few hundred quid for a few months use)

ds says he's getting milk again.... yippee!

I was going to offer to meet up with you and then realised you're not exactly local! I've done a few teaching sessions either with friends I've made a sling for or people who have their own but have problems with it. Biggest problem I've found is having the cummerbund on the outside. I re-wrapped one woman and she was really impressed at the difference it made, the weight had gone and her baby was at a more comfortable height.

Maybe if I have the baby and am out of hospital before you have yours I can think about it!

Glad to hear you've got milk again!

ds was very satisfied with himself.... i think he thinks he ordered it back by shouting 'milk' repeatedly

Ah the good ole milk dance! You should hire him out to the local hospital!

How cool about your article tink.

Tulips and Dryad, have you seen www.slingmeet.co.uk/forums/ ? could be useful for trying out types of slings?

thanks for that dramas, will check it out now.

tink..... whatever benefits his milk dance would have would be far outweighed by the terror he'd inspire in new mothers with his screeching

You just tell them it's a master at work!

Hello everyone,
Do you mind if I join you? Idontbelieveit kindly linked me to your thread. I am nearly 9 weeks pg and am still feeding dd3 who was 2 in July.

I have been very seriously contemplating trying to gently wean her off. She is very attached to her feeds and has between 1 and 3 feeds daily.

But she is very possesive of "her" boobs. Even daddy isn't allowed near them. I am worried that this could cause friction when the new baby arrives.

Do you all intend to carry on feeding when your newborn arrives?
Does anybody else have a dc that has taken possession over your boobs? and does that worry you at all?

Thanx for your help.

Hello, welcome to the thread, of course you can join us and congrats on the new pregnancy.

I can't answer most of your question as I'm only pregnant with my second so don't know how things will go. My thoughts are though that to forcibly wean a child so attached would be traumatic but to do it this close to having another baby could also cause a lot more problems than it solves. You could find that she loves to share with "her baby". We've deliberately bigged Tink up as far as the next baby is concerned, it's her baby, she points to the pictures and my belly and tells everyone "my bobba".

WAW, Hiya, congratulations

I did nurse though pregnancy and am now tandem nursing my 2 year old DD and newborn DS.

"But she is very possesive of "her" boobs."
I would address this as a matter of importance, they are not 'her' boobs they are yours and she should understand that.

As for sharing with the new baby, we read a 'New Baby' book to our DD over and over again. When we got to feeding the baby page I explained that I would give the baby milk and DD would also have milk, as there was enough for both of them.

I also encourage DD to think of the baby as her's and it seems to have worked. She calls DS 'her baby' and is very loving towards him

Thank you for your kind messages.

I have told her on numerous occasions that they are not actually her boobs, but they belong to mummy. I dont know maybe if she's just in that "mine" stage, if you know what I mean.

I'm a bit stuck as a I do partly want to wean her off, due to the fact that she will be nearly 3 by the time the newborn is here. And as I had only originally intended feeding her untill she was 1 I have extended that a fair bit. Tho I should add that the reasons for extending were because both dd and myself really enjoy our nursing times together (it's like our special time).

You do make a good point tho of trying to get her to see the baby as her's, it could work. Although given her nature I wander if that could lead her to being over protective of the liitle one and not letting anyone else in.

I know I have a long time to work these things out really. Just need to make my mind up what i'm doing really. As would like to cause minimal to no discomfort or anxiety for her really.

Tink will be 2.6 - 2.8 when the baby is born (expecting an early baby). I've just decided to go with what she wants.

Have you thought about teaching etiquette instead of weaning? It sounds like it might be a better idea. Just have a think about the rules you'd like to follow and gently start using them. For example, when is she allowed to ask for a feed, who do the boobs belong to...

Tink is going through a stage of putting her hand down my bra and I have to keep telling her to take her hands out because they're Mummy's.

Hi, another latecomer to this thread! I'm 14 weeks pregnant and have a DD who will be 2 next month. She is also very possessive and seems to think she owns my boobs! I had thought of trying really hard to wean her off in the next month or so but reading some of the messages above it looks like a lot of toddlers self wean during pregnancy? Like WAW, I'd meant to give up at 1 year but we both love it! Its so hard knowing what is best!

whatawally, i found with both of mine the best way to deal with jealousy of any kind towards the new baby is just to talk about the baby so much that it becomes normality to them. every second sentance i mention the baby and tell them things about it like that it will have to drink mama milk as it won't eat anything else and that babies cry but they can help by showing baby how to be good and playing with baby.

dd weaned when i was 3 months preg with ds but i spent the whole preg discussing mama milk with her and telling her the baby was going to drink mama milk like she used to. she used to climb into my bed every morning and shove her sophie bear up to my boobs for a feed

with ds it's a bit differant, dd always liked the idea of being the big girl and the baby being a baby so that made it easy. ds has spent the last few months only referring to the name Baby and acting like one at all times, he's going to be whole year older when dc3 arrives than dd was when he was born so it's a bit odd! everytime he starts chanting 'baby, baby, baby' at me now i say 'where's the baby?' and he giggles and says 'in your tummy' and gives my belly a kiss, then says 'i the big baby'.

as for mama milk, he knows tha baby will be drinking it and also knows he won't be forced to stop but he'll have to share. we have kittens in the house at te minute and i've made a big point of showing him how the kittens share their mama milk with each other and that there's enough to go around.

i just asked him, 'caleb, are you going to share mama milk with the baby when the baby comes?' and he got really excited and shouted 'yeah, yeah, yeah'

if you knew how clingy and cross about baby he was just a couple of months ago you'd be amazed at how much differance simply talking to him incessantly has done!

Bumping up.

How are we all doing?

Hi all.
I know this is slightly OT, but are any of you currently co-sleeping with your toddler, and if so, what do you plan to do when the baby arrives?

DD sleeps with us and I seriously doubt she could be persuaded to sleep without me. Since becoming pregnant I've instituted a rule that she doesn't feed o/n, and mostly she's ok with that, but lately she's been waking up at night asking for milk. I generally grunt something about it being sleeping time, and she protests but eventually goes back to sleep. But I'm having scary visions of being sandwiched between two children, each wanting night feeds, and the thought is making me feel exhausted! I'm not sure if I should be trying harder to move DD into her own bed or what. It wasn't really an option before now as we didn't have space; we've now just moved house so we could do it, but I'm now 28 weeks pg and I'm worried that doesn't leave enough time.

Sorry, bit of a ramble there.

i co-slept for at least part of the night with dd right up until ds was born. she'd start in her cot and anytime from 3/4am she'd end up in our bed.

she did this for all of 3 days after ds was born and then decided she'd had enough she's always ben a girl who likes her space and she was not at all impressed with being crowded in the bed with all of us, lol.

i still end up with either or both of them in my bed sometimes (dd has migrated in most nights this week) but their easy enough about sharing us.

would love to pick up a king size mattress before baby arrives though, just to ease the cramping a bit those mornings they all want to be in the bed.

You could try having your older child on a bed right next to yours, so they can just climb over if they need you in the night. Or so your Dh can escape if it all gets too hot and crowded!

The only important thing when the baby arrives is the order you lie in in bed for safest possible co-sleeping (baby, you, then older child and Dh in whatever order they like). baby next to child not a good idea when they are teeny wee, nor baby next to Dh officially though I've come across plenty of people who do that.

Having baby in the middle isn't too bad if you're sleeping in the cuddle curl position as you're protecting baby from dad.

Tink has started waking up very early unless she is co-sleeping, her poor dad is exhausted! I at least get to sleep during the day. We only have a double bed and it's a tight fit if we both lie on our backs, let alone adding a fidety toddler in! if anyone has any ideas how to get her through the night let me know! We did wonder if it's dawn waking her. We have 4m width windows so never got around to finding the money to buy curtains (and I've not had the time). So we put a quilt over the end of her bed closest to the window to shade it a bit but it's not done any good.

I'm just glad she's stopped asking for the first feed of the day so that I get a little bit extra sleep when her dad is getting ready for work.

i always had baby in the middle if possible especially after about 2 months as rolling out of the bed was always more worrying to me than being rolled on.

the one time at 3 weeks dd got the duvet over her face she screamed so loud i'm sure thewhole apartment block got woken up! i always curled around her so there was no fear of me or dp rolling on her as far as i was concerned.

I was just too paranoid about what people would think if I slept with the baby in the middle first time around! We always did the cuddle curl too (lovely description) so it would have been perfectly safe, but since my mother was busy having irrational conniptions about whether I was going to kill this much-wanted grandchild by SQUASHING it in the night WITHOUT NOTICING, I thought that introducing the possibility of another potentially homicidal parent into the infant's nightly hazards was a bridge too far...

Our plan, if we could be said to have one, is to buy a second double bed and put the two together for a room-filling Family Bed Heaven. Might be important to begin sharing out the night time parenting if you haven't already, just so that Daddy comforting the child because you're attending to the new baby isn't a sudden shift in routine once the baby arrives?