Still breastfeeding my two year old, husband and in-laws keep criticising

[CrazyCatMom]

Am I being unreasonable here? 😤

DS turned 2 this week and I’m still breastfeeding him – but it’s hardly around the clock. It’s literally just before bed and the odd time in the day if he needs comfort. I have been back at work since he turned 12 months old so he goes to nursery 3 days a week, spends a day with my mum, and is perfectly capable of being settled by other people. He eats really well (a more varied diet than most adults!) and he’s happy, healthy, and thriving.

The issue is my DH, who keeps making snide little comments about how DS is “too old now” and how I “need to stop”. It’s not even a proper conversation, just constant negative remarks that are really starting to grate. To make it worse, my in-laws are also chiming in saying it’s “weird” and that I should have stopped ages ago (one comment was that I should have stopped at 6 months 🤯)

I honestly don’t see the problem. It’s working for us, it’s not interfering with anything, and I’m not ready to stop yet. DS clearly still gets comfort from it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What’s upsetting me most is the lack of support from DH. I’d understand if it was causing issues, but it just… isn’t? It feels like I’m being judged in my own home for something that is completely normal.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you handle a partner who just won’t get on board?
AIBU to carry on until we’re both ready to stop, or should I just give in to keep the peace?

It’s a bit odd to frame breastfeeding that way. It sounds like you’re sexualising something that’s completely natural and widely used for both nourishment AND comfort. Breasts aren’t intended for a man’s pleasure but rather supporting and comforting a small child.

Tell them to do one, if you and little one are happy it's not really their business. i'm still feeding mine who is 2yrs and 4 months, I'd quite like to stop but he asks for it and it helps when he's poorly. You are doing great and your little one will reap the benefits.

Our nipples aren’t the same as a bottle teat or dummy though! So there is no comparison.

Do you know how hard it gets to pump once your supply established?

Your opinion does not seem based on facts.

Better ways than the most natural.

How would you feel if I told I found it odd, that you replaced something natural, that our bodies are literally designed to do and gave your baby a substitute that their bodies struggle to digest? Surely there are better ways to feed your baby? Surely there are other ways your husband can bond with baby?

See how crazy that sounds!!!

Ha ha “breastfeed him or something” because it is literally a super power!!

My husband had asked at a similar age when I was going to stop. I just said don’t know when we are ready. I could tell he thought I should but never came right out and said anything. Yet every time she was hurt, ill, struggling to sleep, over stimulated, sad, it was J you should breastfeed her.

I stopped a few weeks ago. She was 3 years 4 months ish. (I stopped at 1234 days 😂). We only fed to sleep but not during the night. I was ready and she has taken really well but she also asks every day. Says she misses mummy’s milk because it’s yummy.
I worked over night Saturday, so didn’t see her until Sunday afternoon. She laid with me and pretended to suckle on the side of boob, (over the top of clothes) I nearly caved and just said my milk was back! It’s definitely an amazing thing to do and an amazing closeness. I said to my husband it’s hard to describe because even though we are cuddling and we are close it’s just different to nurse.

Also I would correct anyone that says “still” breastfeeding and say “we are doing natural term breastfeeding, yes”.

I actually feel a bit sad for you that you frame it this way. It means you missed something really special and unique. Anyone who has established a responsive breastfeeding dyad instinctively understands the magical interplay between infant and mother's body.

There are all sorts of studies that show the calming effect of breastfeeding on the child's heart rate, breathing rate and stress hormones. There actually aren't better ways to calm an infant. It absolutely isn't at all weird or sexualised for the child to suckle and nurse for comfort. Everything we have like dummies and teats on bottles are mimicking exactly that.

Insinuating that breastfeeding a toddler is somehow something a mother does because of some failure or lack in her is a profound misunderstanding of the most fundamental relationship there is.

Nobody else’s business, ever.

What a load of rubbish. As many other posters have said, BF is THE most natural way to comfort a baby. Feeding and comfort is literally what breasts are for and it's pretty sad that you feel otherwise.

So you feel it normal to put your breast in a child’s mouth to comfort it? Once you stop feeding for your nutritional value surely there are more appropriate ways to comfort essentially a walking talking toddler.

Not really no…? Cos a breast is still a breast and if it’s not used for actual feeding I don’t see how it’s appropriate to allow your child to suck your nipple as a comforter

You do realise that dummy’s were made as a substitute for a nipple right? 🙄

Yes, it's completely normal. What is not normal if your view that feeding for comfort is not normal. You have an odd view and seem to be sexualising breasts. And, clearly you have no idea on the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding a toddler, plus the health benefits that breastfeeding gives the mum. If you're not an advocate of breastfeeding and you don't understand it,.please don't come on a forum and slate mums that do do it. Too many mums are trying to stigmatise a completely normal thing (usually because of their own insecurities around breastfeeding) and it's this stigma that means people like the OP need to post and look for assurance.

You sound like a teenager!

Yes… because that is more appropriate than an actual breast at a certain age! Honestly you worry me…

😂😂😂 you worry me. Sounds like you are sexualising breastfeeding. You might need to go on a list.

Is it? Do you have any scientific evidence to support that statement?

My son’s dentist and health visitor were both very clear that he needed to give up his dummy by 12 months but very supportive of us continuing to breastfeed beyond that.

False - our local speech and language therapy service is very clear that all dummies should be removed by 12 months at the absolute latest, and ideally they should not be given at all.