Still breastfeeding my two year old, husband and in-laws keep criticising

[CrazyCatMom]

Am I being unreasonable here? 😤

DS turned 2 this week and I’m still breastfeeding him – but it’s hardly around the clock. It’s literally just before bed and the odd time in the day if he needs comfort. I have been back at work since he turned 12 months old so he goes to nursery 3 days a week, spends a day with my mum, and is perfectly capable of being settled by other people. He eats really well (a more varied diet than most adults!) and he’s happy, healthy, and thriving.

The issue is my DH, who keeps making snide little comments about how DS is “too old now” and how I “need to stop”. It’s not even a proper conversation, just constant negative remarks that are really starting to grate. To make it worse, my in-laws are also chiming in saying it’s “weird” and that I should have stopped ages ago (one comment was that I should have stopped at 6 months 🤯)

I honestly don’t see the problem. It’s working for us, it’s not interfering with anything, and I’m not ready to stop yet. DS clearly still gets comfort from it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What’s upsetting me most is the lack of support from DH. I’d understand if it was causing issues, but it just… isn’t? It feels like I’m being judged in my own home for something that is completely normal.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you handle a partner who just won’t get on board?
AIBU to carry on until we’re both ready to stop, or should I just give in to keep the peace?

Have a conversation agree when, how why you will stop , tell him all comments on it must stop and he needs to tell his family all comments must stop

My son stopped breastfeeding completely by the time he was a year old. He was only having a feed just before bed between 9 months to a year, and then stopped. Simply wasn't interested.

It's your body, your child and your choice. Your child will stop themselves, when ready.

Yes I know :( He was night weaned but then got poorly (requiring hospital treatment) so I let him nurse at night as he was getting very dehydrated. We are still having investigations done so I haven't the heart to say no to night milk at the mo. It is disruptive but I get some sleep.

It bloody wakes me up 🫠 I'd love to stop the night feeds but no idea how

If you live in a part of the world where a nutricious diet is not readily available, I would umderstand bf a child over 18 months old.

The post about i bet they dont say anything about having a cows breast milk....is daft..... the infant isnt feeding directly from the cows udder.

If a child needs breastmilk at this age, from a cup would, imho, be better.

Good job it’s no one else’s business then, isn’t it?

You might want to have a chat with someone about your over reaction to this.

Another ridiculous comment. So you think it's better that women express milk to put in a cup??!

WHO guidelines are targeted towards mothers in lower socioeconomic groups and in the developing world who don’t always have access to clean water.

in a developed country there’s no reason to breastfeed a 2 year old nutritionally, but if someone wants to do it for comfort that’s up to them & the comments are unkind.

the older they get the harder it is to wean them off breastfeeding I’ve heard

I would have told my husband that trying to stop a woman breastfeeding is a form of domestic abuse and he needs to cut it out immediately. My husband never would though because he's not a controlling .

Should fathers have no decision making powers over how their child is fed? This may seem progressive (ie how your child is fed is just a matter for you and your ds) but is it? I feel this lands with women just being responsible for everything. We can’t have it both ways. Either men are equal partners in raising children, or they are the lesser ones. If they abrogate responsibility for being dads as many do, that’s one thing, but if an otherwise competent father does not want his child to be breastfed when there aren’t really any known health benefits for extended breast-feeding in Western societies, is he wrong?

That's not in the least bit true, breastmilk does not lose it's nutritional value and continues to have significant immune benefit.

It is not harder to wean them off when they are ready, in fact, it is the opposite.

If you have no education or experience in this area it's best not to make uninformed comments.

He doesn't need to agree, they're not his boobs.

At 2, the child is not JUST having breastmilk.

The father gets a equal say in all matters that he is a participant is. When it comes to pregnancy, giving birth, and breastfeeding, he gets no say whatsoever because it's not his body.

And there are health benefits to extended breastfeeding in any society, Western babies don't have different requirements.

I’m still feeding my 2 year old. If my DH started to criticise how I feed our child I would probably leave him. It would turn my stomach.

Inlaws would be told to fuck off.

My husband and his family was like this.

I started bombarding then with articles and snippets of research done by scientists on various benefits of breastfeeding.
Eg: reduction in breast cancer, reduction of allergies, reduction in mental health for mum, reduction in anxiety in child, reduction in sleep problems. Research about breastfeeding and autism, research into so so much when it comes to benefits of breastfeeding.

I went on to breastfeed my child until the age of 3.5 and my husband never once mentioned it again.

Educate them and they will all be quiet.

Of course a father should have no say in pregnancy, abortion or giving birth. He doesn’t. But once a child is born - he has no say either? Being fed is probably the most critical aspect of a child’s early life. He has no say in that? How on earth do men step up to be good fathers when they are excluded from this?

Because they aren’t used to it is all.

I think I was breastfed until 2 or 3 and honestly I have memories of being breastfed and it creeps me out a little.

I know every lactation consultant on social media says "natural team weaning" is up until age 7, but I looked into the anthropology research on this and actually found all the human evidence says natural weaning in the wild would be about age 2-3.

All that is to say i don't think you're doing anything wrong by still feeding him, but I don't think until probs age 3... But I don't think you should go a lot further as it's not particularly nice as an adult to have memories of breastfeeding on your mum tbh...

How completely ridiculous. No one sees me feed my almost 3 year old because it’s at bedtime.

OP shut down any negativity about breastfeeding immediately. No one gets to have an opinion on what you do with your body.

When they are ready to stop they stop. I’ll be led by my child thank you very much and everyone else can just fuck right off.

I have memories of breastfeeding on my mum! And I think most adults would rather not have memories of being breastfed

No they should never tell women when to stop breastfeeding.

I’m with you on that! I’ve only ever been encouraged and supported on my breastfeeding journey and the fact that other mums aren’t disgusts me.

My daughter was 3.5 years old when she stopped, my husband did start to make comments that she was “too old” when she was about 3 but I’m happy it ended on her terms. You are doing amazing, well done you! Tell husband and in-laws to mind their own boobs!!

Breastfeeding for three years really reduces your risk of breast cancer. So keep going x