Still breastfeeding my two year old, husband and in-laws keep criticising

[CrazyCatMom]

Am I being unreasonable here? 😤

DS turned 2 this week and I’m still breastfeeding him – but it’s hardly around the clock. It’s literally just before bed and the odd time in the day if he needs comfort. I have been back at work since he turned 12 months old so he goes to nursery 3 days a week, spends a day with my mum, and is perfectly capable of being settled by other people. He eats really well (a more varied diet than most adults!) and he’s happy, healthy, and thriving.

The issue is my DH, who keeps making snide little comments about how DS is “too old now” and how I “need to stop”. It’s not even a proper conversation, just constant negative remarks that are really starting to grate. To make it worse, my in-laws are also chiming in saying it’s “weird” and that I should have stopped ages ago (one comment was that I should have stopped at 6 months 🤯)

I honestly don’t see the problem. It’s working for us, it’s not interfering with anything, and I’m not ready to stop yet. DS clearly still gets comfort from it, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.

What’s upsetting me most is the lack of support from DH. I’d understand if it was causing issues, but it just… isn’t? It feels like I’m being judged in my own home for something that is completely normal.

Has anyone else dealt with this? How do you handle a partner who just won’t get on board?
AIBU to carry on until we’re both ready to stop, or should I just give in to keep the peace?

I think your MIL and other people should keep their opinions to themselves. It is none of their business.

And you husband should step up to the mark and support you in your decision.

I think you have made a really good decision which will really benefit your child for years to come.

Your husband should be supporting you. If he won’t stop with the comments, perhaps you should start sending him information on natural weaning ages for humans. He shouldn’t be speaking about things he isn’t willing to learn about.

My children's friends didn't generally know they still fed (they don't announce it at school and how would they find out?), but those that did were just curious and interested. There was no bullying, and that's the overwhelming experience of people who feed to natural term. It simply isn't an issue.

Unless you were forced against your will to drink from your mother’s breast (which is clearly abuse), why is this such a bad memory for you? I don’t have such memories, but struggle to see why they would be so negative? Certainly my 2 kids seem very happy and content when I’m feeding them, so no signs of psychological damage done yet (aged 2 and 4).

Given there are multiple people on this thread admitting to breastfeeding FOUR YEAR OLDS.. Happy to hold my opinion love.

Don’t look.

I hope you’re comforted by all the ladies here BFing to late on. I only did to 6mths and stopped because I thought she wasn’t getting enough - turns out she drank bottled milk really quickly too. And yuk - baby milk powder! The ingredients list is vile!!!! No wonder kids are so ill now.

As people often say on Mumsnet you have a DH problem. Sounds like a sensible sit down is required. He is clearly feeling pressured by societal norms. He needs to have responsibility for stopping his parents’ commentary (unless of course you want to let him know they will never be welcome in your house again if they continue?!)

😅😅😅😅 This really is the most bonkers comment I have read on here.

Thank you, this article was really interesting, excellent advocate for breastfeeding.

No. A dad shouldn't hurt his child because he feels uncomfortable. If my husband was an absolute loser who said I couldn't bf then I would leave him.

My DH is the same as wants us to start leaving DC overnight occasionally for weekends away etc. I just say no but it's irritating!

The OP asked for views and that was mine. Just because it wasnt in line with your views, doesnt make it ridiculous. I was clear im my view re bf after 18 months in a country were a nutricious diet is available.

Bottle fed are encouraged to move away from bottles with teats for developmental reasons.....

I fed 2 of mine until they were between 3-4. Almost no one knows/knew that. I absolutely hated other people commenting on what I was doing with my baby and my body. Really made me uncomfortable to be so judged.

Your dh needs to stop now. It is your body and he has no right to comment on your breastfeeding diad.

Mine are teens now and I do not regret feeding them all for so long. My only regret is letting the opinions of others have any weight.

It really demonstrates that objections to breastfeeding are purely cultural rather than rooted in any facts.

A bottle with a teat is completely different to a human nipple. As is a cup. Cups and bottles store fluid/milk and therefore can damage teeth, especially teats which is why bottles are discouraged after 1. Breastfeeding still has huge nutritional benefits post 18 months, and as well as being beneficial for the baby, has proven to be beneficial to the mum. So, based on both of those points you've just made (which are incorrect), it is a ridiculous list.

I feel intimidated by these situations, also they feel too permissive to me. No dignity in that.
And yes, I'm "only" 46 and felt like that forever.

Why?

One of my dc remembered being bf for a while (she only stopped just before she was 4) but she has zero recollection at all now in her teens.

When I asked her re her recollections when she was 6 or 7 (younger siblings being fed stimulated the convo) she said bf felt to her like 'tasting warm love'.

So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

I am nothing but proud to have been so responsive and giving to my dc.

Personally I wouldn’t do it but each to their own. You have said it’s more for comfort.. but surely there are better ways to comfort a 2 year old without him sucking your breast? That’s the part I would say is more not ok.

Can you imagine suckling on your mum's breast? As an adult it's just an uncomfortable memory to have! I have no idea why, but it is. I also loved breastfeeding as a toddler and was difficult to wean. It's all children know so of course it's what they want at the time. But I'm very pleased my mum didn't keep breastfeeding me into older childhood

Then you have a problem if you think BF for comfort is wrong. That's a huge part of BF. Clearly you've never done it so why comment?!

BRAVO!!! 💪

Can you imagine being disgusted by the most natural thing in the world?! If so, the problem lies with you

Thanks for replies everyone, I feel much better about my my DS’s decision to continue breastfeeding after reading these comments.

Interestingly, DS woke up with a nasty viral thing early hours of this morning and DH brought him to me in bed. I asked what he wanted me to do and his response “I don’t know? Breastfeed him or something!” 😂 Toddler was fed and we all managed to get a few more hours sleep.

I asked DH if he still wants me to stop and he said not just yet…

Actually I HAVE done it so very strange of you to presume and comment to me with a wild presumption? I did it for beneficial reasons for colostrum and then tapered to bottle feeding to allow the father to also be able to have those moments with the baby. Not saying that’s what everyone should do but If you are breastfeeding to comfort a baby not for nutrition surely there are better ways to comfort your child than put your breast in its mouth?!