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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

BFing in public.

48 replies

kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 11:46

I didn't bf ds due to problems latching on and useless nurse at hospital and useless HV/MW. I am hoping to bf my new lo.

But I am terrified of BFing in public, wellnot even in public but infront of anyone except dh and ds.

Are there any tops or anything I can wear so no one can see a thing or would it be better to express for when we out and when family visit?

Thanks.

OP posts:
S1ur · 08/04/2008 11:54

there are lots of options for tops.

rooti tooti

blooming marvellous

mamaway

Also Getting a muslin square or nice shawl that you can drape over your shoulder might make you feel more confident.

It is worth remembering that other people would have to be really staring and at the exact right angle and moment to actually see anything anyway.

I found it helps a lot to chat to someone while bf in public. They're behaviour woth you (ie relaxed and casual) is a reminder of how other's should behave and serves as a good distraction for you.

Don't worry, take it slow and gradual. You can do it if you want to

ChairmumMiaow · 08/04/2008 11:56

I use tops from rooti tooti www.rootitooti.co.uk/ which aren't particularly cheap, but do make you feel quite 'safe' as you can have just a little boob showing.

However, I now find it just as easy to wear a loosish top (not a baggy tshirt or anything, just something not skin-tight and easy to pull up) with a vest underneath. You pull the top up and the vest down and you're completely covered. I also use my top to cover DS's face when he's feeding to stop him getting so distracted! The rooti-tooti vests are excellent for wearing under normal tops as no pulling down is then required (they have boob-holes!) Remember that DC covers much of you anyway.

As for feeding in public, start by going to a breastfeeding support group if there is one near you - you can feed in front of people who will definitely not look askance. I've had nothing but positive responses and I feed anywhere and everywhere (including at a conference dinner last week!)

Good luck and don't be scared to have a go in strange places. Where do you live? I bet supportive mumsnetters will meet you for a cuppa so you can have a try to boost your confidence!

EffiePerine · 08/04/2008 11:57

It will be a LOT easier than you expect - really, very few people are bothered (and if theya re it isn't your problem!). I found a vest top / loose top combo easier than bfing tops.

S1ur · 08/04/2008 11:57

"They're behaviour woth you "

Their behaviour with you.

Also bf a newborn is fiddly so maybe go into a quiet corner to start with so you can focus without getting hot and flustered about other people. Once bf is established and you're an old pro feeding out and about and anywhere will be much easier to tackle comfortably.

MrsBadger · 08/04/2008 11:57

lots of bfing tops for sale in the normal places - jojomamanbebe, blooming marvellous, the NCT site, even Next and H&M.

The easiest and cheapest way to do it though is to wear a vest underneath a normal top. Pull the neck of the vest down and lift the top up - the gap can be as big or small as you need!

I really wouldn't worry about expressing to take milk out with you - expressing is a great tool later if you need want to go out without the baby, but it's not worth the hassle of pumping / storing / carrying about etc if your boobs and the baby will be in the same place!

If you're at home and don't feel comfortable feeding in front of visitors, you could always ask them to go and sit in the other room, or use it as a good excuse to take lo upstairs and have some quiet time together.

But really, you can't see much once they're feeding - have a look at the pics here.

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 11:57

I live in North Yorkshire. I will have to ask about a breastfeeding support group. When I had ds I got no help at all and he was bottle fed and I'd like to try this time.

OP posts:
EffiePerine · 08/04/2008 11:58

Starbucks are excellent for feeding babies - go in one and I bet you'll see lots of women feeding discreetly (if you look close enough)

EffiePerine · 08/04/2008 11:59

Your local NCT group would be a good start. Also the La Leche League have local groups. There might be a few - try going to a range as they'll attract different people and you will hopefully find one you are comfortable with.

S1ur · 08/04/2008 11:59

I also did the vest/top thing - mainly to cover my stomach rather than to be discrete.

H&M mama did some nice plain vest tops with adjustable straps so you could make them under breast vests.

S1ur · 08/04/2008 12:01

lovely site mrsB

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 12:03

Thanks.

That site is great. I am not bothered about what other people think, its me feeling uncomfortable. I have got a long time to get used to the idea.

OP posts:
137wallis · 08/04/2008 12:04

i've fed all 5 of my boys, and although i thought and worried about feeding in public, infront of other people, with each of them, it does get better, and once you've mastered it at home for a couple of weeks, you'll be a pro, then you just need to build your confidence feeding in public, as already surgested you could start by feeding somewhere baby friendly, most baby shops have a feeding room, soft play areas, and toddler playgroups are good too, and try to go with someone you know, where abouts are you? most large towns have a baby cafe meeting now, good luck!

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 12:11

Just checked baby cafe and there isn't one near me
I have found these which look good.

OP posts:
moondog · 08/04/2008 12:13

Practice in fornt of the mirror or a sympathetic person.It will really help with confidence.
Most women end up omre worried about showing off post natal tum than boobs in the end!

MadamePlatypus · 08/04/2008 12:14

I checked out how other people were breastfeeding in Starbucks before brestfeeding in public. Most people just looked as though they are cradling a baby. In fact thats what I thought all the mums with babies had been doing until I was pregnant and started thinking about these things.

Remember that as others have said, if you feed over the top of a vest and under a t-shirt it will be very difficult for anybody to see anything. If you add an unbuttoned shirt over the top you really will have covered all your bases.

Practice in front of a mirror if you feel uncertain.

Also, remember that most MN'ers prepare long rants to let loose on the general public should anybody be rude about their breast feeding, and hardly anybody ever gets to use them.

MrsBadger · 08/04/2008 12:14

now to me those seem less subtle than hitching up your top

like a big sign saying 'Look! I'm breastfeeding! I am! See me breastfeed!'

Original poster
kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 12:19

But no one can see anything if I have one of those.

OP posts:
MrsBadger · 08/04/2008 12:21

but without it they won't even know there's anything to see...

S1ur · 08/04/2008 12:23

Save your money a shawl/muslin would do the same job.

Plus I think they look awkward for the latch on. You might to see yourself a little bit to get your baby on well. Then pop your tshirt over baby.

moondog · 08/04/2008 12:23

Dear God, no no no Kay!
Do you want to look like a mad overgrown baby in a bib??

I know it all seems weirdand unimaginable now and it will take you a few weeks to get the hang of it, but with a paby,your clothes ,and if you are still wobbly, a little shawl or a muslin you will be as discreet and modest as a nun in a convent.

I remember b/feeding in public for first time 7 days after dd was born.It was in a baby group.I was staggered that another woman could talk and breastfeed at same time (let alone access boob from under top as opposed to opening entire row of buttons on shirt like me!)

Fast forward a few months and i was on a plane, enjoying a beer, readin,g and chatting with the rowdy football supporters in my row! Oh, and breastfeeding. Not that anyone really noticed!

Good luck!

soremummy · 08/04/2008 12:24

I just wear looser t shirts tbh and I always manage ok. I did buy 2 nursing tops from h & m only wore one of them once but I couldnt feed the baby comfortably wearing it. If they are any good to you you can have them they are a size 10 / 12. Im in Leeds btw. And I found it more difficult to b/f this lo in front of my 17yr old son but after a few days we just got on with it and now that she is older he even cuts her nails for me while i feed her and he doesnt see anything!

Martha200 · 08/04/2008 12:24

Initially I wouldn't BF in public unless DH was with me! When I started expressing I then had the bottle with me, but I rarely used it because I felt it a waste and BF was much easier, so saved the sxpressing for moments when I want a bath to myself for example!
The majority of people don't even notice and I've had one negative comment, it really put me off and knocked my confidence... but with support of MN (you may have seen the thread?) and some friends am up and running again!
It can be a bit mad initially with baby fussing etc but don't let this put you off, you are only doing what is natural!

thehappyprince · 08/04/2008 12:24

H&M do really good nursing tops, very discreet and not expensive. I got several from them, though a top and vest pretty good too. Never thought I'd be comfortable breast feeding in public, but surprised myself.

stillstanding · 08/04/2008 12:26

I can remember worrying about this soooo much in the beginning, Kayzi, but now don't give it a second thought.

The vest under a top combo worked best for me but mainly because I wanted to hide my tum . Also that route is a lot cheaper than buying those b/fing tops which are quite expensive and not terribly trendy.

The thing that really swung it for me about feeding in public was doing it in a group or with someone else who was doing it. I used to rush home to bf and then one day had coffee with an NCT pal who started to bf her babe and then I started to feed mine and it just felt like this perfectly safe little bubble and I wouldn't have noticed if anyone was looking put out. It was so helpful to me to get started in that way - and now I am totally confident about doing in anywhere/anytime!

Best of luck to you, Kayzi.

BellaBear · 08/04/2008 12:32

Skur - that mamaway site is fab, thanks for linking!