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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

BFing in public.

48 replies

kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 11:46

I didn't bf ds due to problems latching on and useless nurse at hospital and useless HV/MW. I am hoping to bf my new lo.

But I am terrified of BFing in public, wellnot even in public but infront of anyone except dh and ds.

Are there any tops or anything I can wear so no one can see a thing or would it be better to express for when we out and when family visit?

Thanks.

OP posts:

BellaBear · 08/04/2008 12:33

Slur even, typing ang bfing!

Original poster

kayzisexpecting · 08/04/2008 12:34

Thanks everyone. Dh thinks those overgrown bib things are silly too.

I am off to London for a birthday treat so I'll go into H&M and treat myself to some tops.

OP posts:

miffymum · 08/04/2008 12:40

Don't worry Kayzi, I think it's completely normal to feel a bit nervous about bf ing in public at first. I used to rush home to feed DD and was highly embarrassed about the whole thing to start off with particularly as she had difficulties to start with. 5 months later am completely gung ho about it and happy to feed her pretty much anywhere that's comfortable for her.

Make it easy on yourself if you can - try and take a bit of time to feel comfortable with bfing at home first. Take a friend / partner with you to start off with for a bit of support. If you can be with other Mums who are bfing that can help too. Some places are more obviously bf-ing friendly than others eg. Starbucks (as previously mentioned) or anywhere where there's a high Mum & baby population. There are some cafes round my way that practically everybody is feeding children one way or another - that might help you if you find somewhere like that at first. If you're feeling self-conscious you can sit yourself in a corner with pram/push-chair in front of you. The more you do it, the less bothered you'll become and most people honestly don't care/notice anyway.

Good luck.

taliac · 08/04/2008 13:00

I was in John Lewis the other week and a mum was bfing sitting on a display chair on a podium bang in the centre of the store. Couldn't have found anywhere more public if you'd tried. I was soo impressed, wouldn't have the guts for it personally although I am cool with bfing in public. Maybe she was a mnetter! No one bothered her though, or gave her anything more than a quick curious look..

asicsgirl · 08/04/2008 13:24

I think getting a couple of bf tops to start with is a good idea - helps you to build up your confidence. Like most of the other posters I started off nervous and ended up doing it everywhere and anywhere, and stopped wearing the bf tops (which were in daft colours that I never liked much anyway).

I used to find ds covered most of my belly when sitting down at a cafe table for example, so just hitched up t-shirt.

Funnily enough I think the bf bra clips were the main problem for me - they do take a bit of getting used to! - so it's worth having a practice at fumbling around under your t-shirt to get them undone and done up again. Or if you are not too generously endowed (like me) you can get wrap-style bras that you just hoik your boob out of, rather than having to unclip anything - I have these from mothercare and they are actually really nice. Best of luck!

phlossie · 08/04/2008 15:31

I use a blanket/ muslin or scarf, so no-one can see a thing. Also, when in a public place like a cafe, I find a seat where I'm facing away from most people.

It's tricky at first when your lo isn't so good at latching on, and being flustered makes it harder - but there are always quiet, private places you can go to feed in shopping centres etc until you (and baby) are bf experts.

I bf both my los - ds until he was 10.5mo, and dd is still bf at 6mo. I have never had so much as a funny look - if people notice (which I don't think they do), they don't seem to mind. And if they do, they're too polite to say so!

phlossie · 08/04/2008 15:33

Re asicsgirl post - Bravado bras have poppers - much less fiddly than those clips. And, yes, always wear a vest - I'm a million times more about people seeing my belly than my boobs!

ChairmumMiaow · 08/04/2008 15:38

Also, don't worry when you start feeding if you're not comfortable feeding in every situation. I will feed in public quite happily, but I went and fed in the car when we visited my FIL and we're going to the pub with a group of work-related people tonight, one of which I will be quite uncomfortable feeding in front of (it won't stop me but I have a feeling he might try to make a smart-arsed comment)

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/04/2008 16:44

have a look here

MadamePlatypus · 09/04/2008 14:33

Have never breastfed infront of PIL. Its really sneaky of me, but sometimes you just neeed to go and have a cup of tea and read a book, and what better excuse than modesty?

lilyloo · 09/04/2008 14:38

LOL i just back from play area where i bf dd and was then stood in queue getting dd a drink and my breast pad was on the floor which woman behind me pointed out i had just dropped !
It does get easier when you get more confident but taking someone with you the first few times can help.

chipmonkey · 09/04/2008 14:45

The other thing about blankets, big bib-things is that a lot of babies hate having their heads covered, so will object loudly anyway!

Poledra · 09/04/2008 15:03

Kay, I just wore looser tops and pulled them up. The baby covers most of you anyway. Also, ask your midwife about bfing-friendly places locally - the midwives where I am (East Anglia) gave me a leaflet with a list of places locally that were pro-bfeeding, so I could be sure that I would be welcomed there (some of the 'national' names on it were Starbucks, John Lewis, Cafe Nero).
I do remember being on holiday in Devon when dd1 was about 4 months, and feeding her in a pub beer garden while chatting to DH and one of his mates. DH started laughing and said that when we first started going out together, he couldn't have imagined a time when he'd be quite cool about me getting my boobs out in the pub

thebecster · 09/04/2008 15:11

Agree with stillstanding - try with other mums first - i felt less vulnerable & self conscious with other mums bfing at the same time. Also, and this might be a bit weird, but I tried feeding DS sitting in front of a mirror to check how discreet my feeding top really was. It just reassured me that really no-one could see anything.My progression went

Week 4 - still only feeding in front of DH
Week 5 - feeding at baby screening in cinema in the dark surrounded by other BFing mums
Week 6 feeding with other mums at mums group
Week 12 feeding wherever I bloody well liked without a hitch

I couldn't use a shawl or muslin as my DS wouldn't feed if there was any material touching his face or neck (he was reluctant breastfeeder at best of times...) and the shawl or muslin tended to dangle down on him... But I got on well with Jojomamanbebe wrap-style double layered top.

Popi70 · 09/04/2008 15:39

I have never seen anyone staring at me when bf-ing in public. No-one has made me feel uncomfortable either. Also because I tend to have my head bend down looking at baby, I rarely see other people's reactions.

chipmonkey · 09/04/2008 15:43

Actually I think I was far more concerned about people seeing my post-pregnancy belly than a little bit of boob, which is why I have invested in some bfing tops this time.

KristinaM · 09/04/2008 15:56

i agree with everyone else. especially those who say dont buy one of these silly bibs

remember when you first learned to drive? And you thought you would never learn to change gear and steer at the same time? Let alone listen to the radio, read a road sign and ingore the children screaming in teh back.

Bf is just like that. at first you are all fingers and thumbs & milk leaking . aftre a few weeks you will be more confident & baby will be more of an expert too.

There are loads of Mners who have been bf in the most public places for YEARS. You just don't notice us because we are very discrete and our babies are happily stuffing their faces instead of screaming the place down

SallyInYorkshire · 09/04/2008 20:58

I am on the bf learning curve at the moment.
Have just bought one of the tops from Mamaway, it is really nice and v modest.

Another thing you could try is a sling (ring or pouch style) I bf today in a local cafe with baby in my ring sling and you really couldnt see anything (I didnt even bother with a bra, just one of my regular pre-pg tops).

I live in N Yorks as well btw. Slings are good for keeping the cold yorkshire wind off your nips

offtobuttonmoon · 09/04/2008 21:02

Still BF my 2.6 dd in public, never had any negative reactions as far as I am aware.

LOL Chipmonkey, my belly was my worry too!

lackaDAISYcal · 09/04/2008 21:03

also agree that it does get easier with prwactice and as baby gets older. I was terrified in the early days and made the whole family leave a restaurant before we'd had our desert as DD was screaming for a feed and I just couldn't do it (she was only two weeks old though!)

now, at 10 months, most people don't even notice she is feeding.

After a few visits to the baby cafe and the local NCT group, my tactic was to concentrate on looking at DD (adoringly and soppily no doubt )as she fed. that way I didn't notice whether anyone was looking or not.

good luck with it, you'll get the hang of it soon enough though

Original poster

kayzisexpecting · 10/04/2008 07:03

Thanks everyone.

Kristina, I hope bf is nothing like driving as I cant drive and really hate driving.

OP posts:

KristinaM · 10/04/2008 08:55

ooops

I meant NOTHING like driving of course

chipmonkey · 10/04/2008 10:12

kay, it took me 4 times to pass my driving test but I was very good at bfing in public!

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