I want to give up BF

[RGPargy]

Hi all

DD is now almost 18 weeks and has been exclusively BF. But now i'm just feeling so tired and fed up and am sick to the back teeth of feeling embarrassed if i happen to be out and need to feed DD or if FIL happens to be round when i have to feed her, which results in him (and DP) going out the back or something until DD has finished feeding.

I'm just not enjoying it anymore because DD will whinge towards the end of feeding on Boob1, she whinges while i sit her up for a burp, and continues to whinge until i put her on Boob2. When she's had her fill of Boob2, she will again whinge and i have to stick a dummy in to placate her and finally when she's quiet she'll burp.

During the times DP has given her EBM, she wolfs it down and doesn't whinge in the slightest!!

Anyway, I know FF doesn't equal sleeping through, but i think i'm going to try DD on a bottle of formula tonight because she's feeding every 2 1/2 to 3 hours even at night and quite frankly i'm exhausted from it.

I've given her four months worth of the best, although i had planned to get to six months before putting my BF halo away and turning towards FF (easier for MIL for when i go back to work in 2 1/2 months).

Sorry for the ramble, i just need to sound off. I'm just feeling so fed up, especially as i dont feel that DD is enjoying being BF and i'm not particularly enjoying it either!

this is a list copied and pasted from a post on facebook - it's a list of photos they are looking for to possibly feature in a BLW book - but i thought it gave quite a good basic overview of what may happen when!

IMAGES BY AGE

Any or all of the shots listed below will be welcomed, plus any others you have taken that you feel illustrate BLW. A variety of styles is good, e.g. some close up, showing clearly what the baby is doing with hands, concentration on face etc., and some wider shots showing siblings/parents ? especially dads ? eating as well.

Four ?five months:

1. Watching family eat and grabbing food
2. Exploring toys in mouth
3. Breastfeeding

Six ?seven months:

1. Exploring food (not eating)
2. Picking up food and getting to mouth
3. Wide shot with highchair showing splash mat etc
4. Being spoonfed or rejecting spoon (you might want to try this just to see your baby?s reaction)
5. Breastfeeding
6. Sitting on lap with family at mealtimes
7. Picnic/restaurant
8. Eating meat
9. Stop frame series for one meal

Eight ?nine months:

1. Eating ordinary family meal (highchair at table) with siblings and/or parents
2. Breastfeeding
3. Eating meat
4. Eating mushy/sloppy food with hands
5. Dipping, e.g. with bread stick, celery, carrot
6. Using fine pincer (finger and thumb) grip to pick up pea, raisin etc.
7. Picnic/restaurant
8. Stop frame series for one meal

Ten ?eleven months:

1. Using cutlery
2. Eating curry or similar non-typical ?baby? food
3. Drinking from cup (open, not trainer)
4. Eating mushy/sloppy food with hands or spoon
5. Dipping
6. Breastfeeding
7. Picnic/restaurant

Twelve months + and Toddlers:

1. Using cutlery
2. Eating curry or similar non-typical ?baby? food
3. Drinking from open cup or glass
4. Breastfeeding
5. Picnic/restaurant

someone on a similar thread linked to this article which might be interesting for you

fab thanks!

That's a fantastic article, I love that! I'd never considered that before but it does make sense, definetly something to bring to mynew job when I start.

Brilliant article, although i have to say i have never denied DD a feed during the night because she has never slept through the night (yet!).

I gave DD a bottle of EBM today as i had guests from the office and i have to say i really enjoyed it! She stared at me the whole time and went all sleepy and dozey, it was lovely!

Hi everyone.

I had DD weighed yesterday and at 19 weeks, she still only weighs 12lb 10oz. She's now dropped down just below the 9th centile line and the HV said to bring her back next week to see how she gets on. She mentioned top ups but she also shrugged it off saying that we'd see how she went.

Anyway, last night i thought i would try it and gave her a bottle of formula. She took just over 5oz. An hour later she had a bath and a massage and i noticed how full her tummy was still! It's always been very slender normally and i can always feel her ribs too (dont know if this is normal or not). It felt nice to see her tummy NOT going concave for a change when she was laying down! So about an hour or so later, i gave her a BF to top her up, which she took for about 10 minutes. She more or less fell asleep in my arms instantly and we didn't hear a peep out of her all night! She normally wakes up a few times when we first put her to bed with "dummy issues" but we heard absolutely zilch from her. She did wake up at 1am tho but i'm not sure if it was because DS had woken her up by using his phone late at night etc () or whether she was genuinely hungry. Anyway, fed her at 1 and was back in bed by 1.20am (shorter feed than normal) and then she woke up at 6.30am.

Feels like i've been starving her all this time because she's always been a fussy feeder so perhaps she just hasn't been getting enough milk out..... hmm

Not sure whether to continue with the formula every night now or whether to just wait and see what the HV says next Friday.

She took a BF this morning no problem but the feed i've just given her she hardly made the effort and wasn't sucking very well at all! She normally pulls my nipples right out but not this time! Plus she didn't feed for very long either, but was whinging to be fed before i fed her.

I'm feeling a bit fed up today because i'm unsure of my supply. I've never had the engorged feeling at all, even after a whole night of not giving a BF. After the first morning feed this morning i tried to express some but barely got enough to cover the bottom of the bottle and that was from BOTH boobs! I know you cant tell how much milk you have by expressing, but i'm getting increasingly frustrated with trying to express and it proving fruitless, unless i express BEFORE i feed her in the mornings, which is quite stressful because she can seem pumping away at her breakfast and doesn't like it at all!!

No i never offer number 1 after number 2. I dont think she's fussed if it's BM or formula as she'll have either with gusto from a bottle!

I'll give it a go, thanx

Ok will try!

Bah, just had a go at offering both sides at least twice but she just whinged the whole time, practically!

Yes am finding it stressful because of her feeding every 2 - 2.5 hours and i'm obviously not meeting her needs or she wouldnt be so small and wouldn't whinge all the time! It's been just over 2 hours since she last fed and she is whinging for more now. I just tried the pump and got virtually nothing. I'm on the verge of switching over. It doesn't help that i'm feeling a bit low today, probably due to being on my period too.

I just fed her (again) and side A lasted the whole of 4 minutes and side B lasted about 2. She is still whinging.

No, i haven't phoned the helplines. I just feel too embarrassed about calling them because i think that there are people out there with worse problems than mine!

RGPargy - I am a breastfeeding counsellor and I take calls from mothers with all sorts of problems - we never judge a situation and think 'that wasn't worth phoning about'.....never, ever, I promise you.

Just call.

Thnanx, will try and call tomoz.

oh they do get awkward at 4 months. Isnt it something to do with the flow becoming quicker or something?

Hi RGPargy

In the same boat here - DD feeding really frequently, lots through the night, lots of whinging etc (she is 19 weeks tomorrow). Also she is not even 12lbs yet! But paed has reassured us she is fine and healthy.

Anyway just wanted to say that I do as SM said and put her back on for a 3rd/4th side now - also I just don't "trust" her that she's finished when she comes off - like you she's coming off each side after just a couple of mins - I keep putting her back on and she does take more.

I did wonder about flow as oiFoiF says, as there is a lot of pulling off and some choking/gulping too.

Don't have any answers for you, just to say you are not alone, and lots of people on our Dec post natal club saying the same thing too.

Did you call a BF line? would be interested to hear what they say.

Good luck!!

PS I never get engorged either - I've started taking one of these herbal supplements and now feel engorged between night feeds - might be worth a try?

It's not an issue with fast flow i dont think - more the opposite!

She had a bottle of formula last night and except for 2 feeds after, has been a pain all day. Have sent DP out for formula because she's hardly eaten all day, bless her. I'm in floods here, feel like i'm being punished for even THINKING about formula not so long ago lol. Haven't phoned helpline yet. Will call tomoz. Soz for typing, holding DD coz she's not sleepy in the slightest on an empty tum!