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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Breastfeeding in front of in-laws/my Dad!!

81 replies

Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:26

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MerlinsBeard · 01/04/2008 20:27

either ask them& to leave or do i what i do and cover yourself with a cover/muslin square. You don't actually show as much as you thinkyou do

AbbeyA · 01/04/2008 20:28

There is nothing to see! I just got on with it-I wouldn't have wanted to keep going off to another room.

thefunkypea · 01/04/2008 20:29

My dad used to mysteriously disappear from the room when it was feeding time, but he got used to it v quickly when he realised sitting in a bedroom on his own wasn't that much fun. Agree w MumofM - a muslin square can hide a lot

MinkyBorage · 01/04/2008 20:30

I felt like this before hand, but as soon as I'd given birth, I didn't give a sh*t. I am back to my normal prudish self now, but sqeezing a baby out of my vagina seems to send all my modesty flying out of the window for several weeks!

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:30

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WinkyWinkola · 01/04/2008 20:30

You can be v. discreet. The baby's head is generally bigger than your breast.

And don't be shoved off into another room! Your baby is having a meal. They might feel a bit uncomfortable but when they sense your confidence and nonchalence, they'll get used to it. My PIL felt terribly awkward but bless them, they really tried to get used to it and they have. They don't blink now.

mckenzie · 01/04/2008 20:30

agree with the others. They might leave the room anyway but you can really cover up completely with very little effort, especially when baby is so small. A muslin would do it.

MinkyBorage · 01/04/2008 20:30

*squeezing

MrsMattie · 01/04/2008 20:31

I never liked BF-ing in front of men, I'm afraid (excluding DH, obviously!). I used to say 'excuse me, I'm just going to feed' and go and lie down next door for 1/2 an hour with my DS. Good excuse to rest as much as possible and be unsociable in those early months, anyway...

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:31

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MaeWest · 01/04/2008 20:31

My dad was cool with it, but then he'd seen me and my 2 brothers fed. FIL used to get up and leave the room, but not in a nasty way, I think he was a bit embarrassed.

Honestly, you won't think about it

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:32

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StarlightMcKenzie · 01/04/2008 20:32

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notnowbernard · 01/04/2008 20:33

Once you've got the hang of it, you really will suprise yourself at how easy it can be (I know this isn't the case for everyone)

I once fedd dd2 in front of most of the relatives on my Mum's side (big family party). My Aunt was sitting next to me at the time and asked the old Classic "Are you feeding her yourself or using formula?" She hadn't even noticed I had a boob out

There is loads of useful info on MN about BF if you search the archives, though some of the current threads are a bit off-putting

Congratulations, btw

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:34

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Rowlers · 01/04/2008 20:34

Go to a different room if you're bothered. You might be glad of an excuse to disappear for a while!
I happily fed ds with my own father around - he was totally relaxed about the whole thing.
FIL would come into the room when I was feeding and turn on his heels the second he realised what I was doing. Silly man.
Suited me fine though.

FourPlusOne · 01/04/2008 20:35

I have bf both mine for a year+ and I honestly don't think that anyone has seen my boobs (except DH!). In the early days when feeding was getting established I did go off on my own, but that was only because I could not have done it at all discreetly at that point! Also quite liked to have time alone if loads of visitors were there.

By the time you get the hang of it you are not really showing that much flesh anyway - only really the tops of boobs which are on display in low cut tops anyway! I used to just carry a cardi I could pop on if wearing a top that would show a lot (or my tummy), or just sling a muslin/small blanket around baby/my shoulder.

treacletart · 01/04/2008 20:35

I had/have a strained relationship with my Dad and he's managed to ruin several family dos by creating a fuss about me supposedly revealing too much (any) cleavage. Weird then to have him kiss my ds's head goodbye while I was breastfeeding him at a few weeks old. Even his generation realise what boobs are for eventually!

sarahloumadam · 01/04/2008 20:35

I feed in front of my Dad (asked Mum to forewarn him and he was cool with it) but not my FIL cos he is a twerp and I just wouldn't feel comfortable. I just excuse myself, tbh can be a blessing in disguise, time for a nice rest and a break from aforementioned twerp. I even take a book in my handbag now and do a read and feed session!

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:36

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FrannyandZooey · 01/04/2008 20:39

If you really can't bear to try it when the baby arrives (you honestly may feel differently, but of course not everyone does feel ok about it)
I think you should practice saying something like "Right, the baby needs feeding now so if you wouldn't mind giving us some space..."

You should not be hopping up and down stairs when you have just had a baby
and as you say if you are in hospital you will need THEM to leave, so it's worth thinking of a phrase that is quite polite but very clear
if they don't want to see you feeding they will scarper anyway
my FIL always did

MaeWest · 01/04/2008 20:40

I found it was the latching on that most bothered me early on, as we were both learning how to do it. It was a bit messy and not that discreet, but once DS was in place you couldn't see anything.

It is handy to use the 'feeding the baby' excuse if you want to get some time away from the visitors, but you shouldn't feel like you have to shut yourself away.

Good luck with it all

Original poster
Chequers · 01/04/2008 20:42

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StarlightMcKenzie · 01/04/2008 20:42

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MaeWest · 01/04/2008 20:43

I used to do a bit of chat (to newborn DS) along the lines of 'Would you like some milk?' so that it wasn't a big deal of 'I'm going to feed now, please clear the area'.

Is the rest of your family supportive? I found it really helpful that my mum and MIL had bf (even if some of their 'advice' was a little outdated )