was this a stupid thing to say?

[robinrednomorenowemptybreasts]

my cousins just had her third baby, baby is a week old, when talking to my mum after mum had been to visit, mum said the baby was going every three hours, and that she got to have a cuddle after the baby had been fed.

when mum said the baby was being bottlefed, i said oh thats a shame, mum got quite annoyed with me.
i would not of said that to my cousin or aunt or anything.
and now im wondering if i was out of order saying that.
please be honest, i won't mind if you say i was, i just thought it a shame

It was your mum you said it too - not as if you broadcast it to the street - if you can't voice opinions to your mum then....

I think my comment would have been more along the lines of....going every three hours??? WHAT??? accompanied by huffy sniffing and mmmm yes, well wait until its teething...

It is a sahme amd no,I don't see anything wrong with that comment which was made to your mother and mot the mother of the baby.

It is truly awful to see a newborn with a bottle but like you,I keep my thoughts to myself.

hi puss, well i didn't really know she ment by going evry three hours at first

i wished dd would of gone a hour that would of been fab

I don't think you're out of order saying that in a private conversation. Obviously not to the baby's mum herself!

Did your mum bf?

"it is truly awful to see a newborn with a bottle"
oh moondog, i had to bottlefeed my dd, if only id known that people would have been so distressed by seeing her with a bottle i would have let her starve rather than upset you

No, you weren't out of order saying that to your mum

in a private conversation with your mum you should be able to share your opinion, if that is your opinion then it is not a stupid thing to say.

It would have been tactless to say it to the new Mum.

no my mum didn't bf, and kept constanlt undermining me grr
although perhaps she was doing it with the best intentons .

things like saying loads of people mix fed you know and that sort of frequent feeding would never have been allowed in my day etc
she also hates bf in public too

God Robin,it's a wonder anyone succeeds with family 'support' like you had.

i agree jen i would never of sais anything in front of my cousin. that would just be unkind.
just feel its such a great experience to miss out on, not only for the new baby but also for my cousin too.
this cousin didn't bf her other two, and didn't try with this one for them both

yea she also kept telling me it was ok to stop if i wanted[never once indicated id like to stop] and that i would of done my best blah blah

I get annoyed when people don't even to breastfeed and just go right to bottle. Unless there are valid reasons not to try, then I think people should at least give it a go iyswim?

I only managed it for 6 weeks before I had to stop but did try my best

My friend gave up breastfeeding at 3 days because "her boobs went all hard" she thought she had an infection or something so even though latch had been fine and she had wanted to feed she gave up.
I feel it is a shame that her little boy won't be breastfeed through lack of support and education.
I havent used that language to her but I did tell her that if she had another baby to call me before she gives up feedign!!!!!

you were expressing an opinion, robin. A negative opinion about a family member and a brand new baby in the family. You weren't 'out of order' but you shouldn't be the least surprised that someone else in your family was annoyed by your opinion.

I'm with Moondog. I wouldn't say it, but it makes me so sad to see a newborn with a bottle. Yes, yes, I know some people can't bf... Haven't we been here before?

OP - no, yanbu. You just said what you were thinking, wasn't tactless because it wasn't to the mother. It sounds as though your mum has a few 'issues' around bf.

pointy, i would kust like to say that was the only negative amoungst many positive comments

Blimey, I am constantly expressing extremely negative opinions aboy very close relatives.
Oneo f life's small pleasures.

I'm not trying to say you were nasty, robin, not at all. I'm just saying if you lob a critical comment on an emotive subject ito the conversation, you've got to expect a small explosion in return.If you can take it, that's fine. If you're a sensitive type, best to avoid.

moondog obv never steps outside without her German army helmet on head

ok pointy fair enough

Every persons reasons for not wanting to breast feed are valid! Fgs, why does every mother who chooses to bottle feed always have to defend their choices.

OP, what you said is your opinion, but one maybe best to keep to yourself? Why is it a shame? Why can't your cousin bottle feed? Surely it's her choice?

"It is truly awful to see a newborn with a bottle but like you,I keep my thoughts to myself."

• I hope you do.

You are missing the piint spectaculalry Looka.Mother doesn't have to defend her choice.
So why do yuo feel that you have to??

Out of order,no, a little foot in mouth, yes.

Now brace yourselves ladies, I am a mother of 2, and I never bf, didnt even try, not for me!

Although I do not understand this Oh how awful crap, thats thrown at women for making a choice about their bodies and their child.

I have seen many a distressed baby screaming for nourishment, and in turn an anxious mother because she was feeling distressed because she couldnt feed her child. Now that is truly an awful thing to see.

moondog can you not see that
"it is truly awful to see a newborn with a bottle"
is a comment that might annoy people a little?