Childminder demands I stop breastfeeding

[Acr07]

Hi, I'm after a bit of advice. I've been sending my daughter to the childminders since she was a year old. The childminder happens to be her auntie as well. I've breastfed since birth and she in now 3.5 years old. Yes I know she's probably too old but she only has it at night before bed. Doesn't demand it at the childminders or anything. But today, she has said I NEED to stop as they're trying to teach her how to be more grown up and they associate BF with being a baby. Surely it's our choice when she's ready to stop, and nobody else's business of it isn't affecting her day to day? I've said that she will stop in hwr own time, but she keeps saying it needs to be now. She is my partner SIL and even though I've said something, she doesn't listen. Can she demand I stop?

I think that it is totally up to you and NOT the childminder but I also think now they have said it, I wouldn't trust them not to start trying to affect the child...time for a new childminder.

Disappearing OP.......

I would get rid, she's massively overstepping

Tell your SIL to do one and seriously consider alternative childcare.

Which country regularly breastfeeds to 7?

To be honest I think she’s got a point.

Ridiculous! It is nothing to do with her. She is just judging you. Your 3 yo can easily develop independence whilst feeding. I have just stopped feeding my DS around the time he turned 5. Hardly anyone knew he still fed (a few times a week by this point). He is doing great at school and perfectly mature and independent.

How does she even know? If it’s only at bed time what difference does it make.

Of course she can’t demand you stop. I also am intrigued as to how she knows, when it’s just at bedtime. Also, ignore anyone questioning you as to why you are still doing it and that perhaps she has a point. Some people just don’t understand (extended) breastfeeding. It’s between you and your daughter. Not her childminder or random people on the internet to question it. Like someone said, it is very normal in some parts of the world (and obviously people do it here too but just don’t talk about it because of the judgment).

Tell her to fuck off, cheeky cow!

exhausted from breastfeeding at night

What on earth? A breast feed at night isn't going to make a child exhausted!

It is true that 3 and 4 year olds now are generally quite delayed and babied compared to previous years. We seem to treat toddlers as newborns and reception aged children as toddlers now - dummies, bottles of milk, breastfeeding, nappies, up all hours of the night.

I'm a childminder and also bf my own children as babies.
I do see the benefit (from my perspective) of stopping, i find they generally eat better and become less clingy with me when they are no longer being breastfed.
However I fully believe it's every mothers right to bf as long as she and the child want to and I would never expect a parent to quit to make my life easier.
I do see where she is coming from about growing up and becoming more independent as she approaches school age. But she still has no right to demand anything, she can advise you to think about it but she has absolutely no right to make those kinds of decisions for you!

and that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with the fact that for the first 2 years of their lives the world was in lockdown or under restrictions that meant there were no baby or toddler groups, or ability for their parents to socialise them with other children and adults......

on what planet should a toddler NOT be in nappies or have a bottle and dummy???

boggles my brain that you think this is some new phenomenon

No of course she can't and her opinions are against WHO advice.

How you feed your child is up to you. Her views are completely irrelevant. If she persists in trying to pressure you, threaten to report her to Ofsted. That should shut her up.

Tell her to fuck off. Breastfeeding is totally normal, biologically until around 5 years when the milk teeth start falling out.

She is breaking the law, actually. This is breastfeeding discrimination.

3 year olds shouldn’t be in nappies. 2 year olds shouldn’t have baby bottles of milk or dummies. Breastfeeding at 3.5 is to me way too old, but of course everyone is free to do as they wish. But that’s my opinion.

Why would a lack of baby groups mean 2 year olds have baby bottles?

Breastfed one of mine until he was four and a half, so yes, he was at school.
Childminders (and everyone, actually) have no right to tell mothers to stop.

She asked my older son (who's 8) today if she's still BF (he goes there in the holidays to play with his older cousin). And he told her. I wouldn't change childminders as she is so good with them plus I get family discount and that really helps. But I'm not gonna do as she says, as she's my daughter. I just couldn't believe the bloody nerve. Xx

She can FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.

I know she's probably too old but she only has it at night before bed.

She's not too old. My dd was 4 yrs 3 months when we stopped and her dd was 4 years 9 months when they stopped. So your auntie/minder is talking rubbish. I would change minders, really. She's going to be nipping your baby's head about it.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with natural term/extended breastfeeding. One breastfeed at night is hardly going to make a 3 y/o still act like a baby 🙄 it's just a comforting bedtime ritual, like a bedtime drink of cow's milk, but whilst also being amazing for their immune system.

For those asking why I still BF, I think it's just a comfort thing before bed. She sleeps through the night without waking, she wears knickers all the time so not in nappies, she eats and drinks great throughout the day. It affects her in no way. Her development is great and is learning rapidly. She sometimes seems more grown up than her 8 year old brother. I just don't think it's her business. I know she's family but boundaries are needed when it comes to my parenting skills.