Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Dont Want To Breast Feed .......

91 replies

Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 12:15

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
pixiefish · 26/11/2004 12:18

I still breastfeed but my message to you is to do what you feel happy with and stuff your dh- if you really can't face it then don't do it. Maybe if you could try and then stop if you don't like it as you may have a different experience this time. But if not then just bottlefeed

fisil · 26/11/2004 12:18

What is best for baby is a loving mummy.

nailpolish · 26/11/2004 12:19

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

dont feel guilty.

if you are unhappy then it will affect the whole family, dh and all. do what makes you happy cos then youll have a happy baby and enjoy these first precious weeks with your baby, that you dont get back.

suzywong · 26/11/2004 12:19

Sorry to hear you are having a dilema

Let's agree to a no stoning truce ( I admit to being a pro BFer) but do you think that it could be having been made to feel a complete failure with dd that is contributing to your anxiety? What I mean is you may not necessarily feel this way again, you may get some great support and a decent midwife in hospital ( if that was who was mean to you), however if you decide not to BF then I for one respect your decision.

Whatever you decide I hope you enjoy your new addition

MummyToSteven · 26/11/2004 12:22

agree with pixiefish. all very well for DH to comment - but it's not his body or his nipples is it - nothing wrong with him having a view on it, but IMHO completely rotten to give you a guilt trip over it. are you completely definite that you don't want to try to bf, but want a bit of moral support, or do you sort of want to try to bf but are scared after last time - just wondering what exactly the dilemma is, not trying to pressurise you into anything? not planning another baby, but had an awful time trying to bf steven, so really don't know if i could face trying to bf if I did have another one, so can defo see where you are coming from.

in terms of health benefits - don't know if any of our resident bfcs/midwife gurus could advise whether there would be any point in your expressing some colostrum for you little one

Flum · 26/11/2004 12:22

What about a compromise, b'feed for say 6 weeks, that way baby gets good benefit and you appease any guilt you may feel. Also you are likely to be home a lot of that time anyway I guess, new baby and all that.

Then move baby to bottles and get your life back.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 12:22

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Flum · 26/11/2004 12:23

if it doesn't work out for those first few weeks, sack it but atleast you gave it a try.

it might be different with this baby, they do say that.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 12:25

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
secur · 26/11/2004 12:26

Message withdrawn

SuzySox · 26/11/2004 12:27

Mosschops30 - If you don't want to breastfeed don't. I didn't want and didn't!!! Anyone who tried to convince me just go totld I'd made up my mind, I never had the urge to breast feed. I told my mid-wofe from day one I wasn't intending to breastfeed and she never mentioned it again (only in passing) I never felt any 'official' pressure to breastfeed either.

People make way to much of a big deal about this, it's personal preference and quite honestly anyone who says your a 'bad' mother because you didn't breast-fedd is being stupid. Sorry but i have very strong opinions about this.

Do what you feel is right for you and baby and you'll all be happier.

nailpolish · 26/11/2004 12:28

mosschops

it sounds like you have already made your mind up, just decide and then plan to do it. you have to look forward to having your baby, not worrying about what to do. i had an awful first 2 weeks trying to bf and it makes me sad that the first 2 weeks of dd2's life she had an unhappy mum.

ill repeat what i said before - you dont get those first precious weeks back

MummyToSteven · 26/11/2004 12:28

do you get pressure off family/friends to bf, or just your dh/hospital midwives etc? as in RL my experience was outside the midwife/hospital environment, nobody really gave a hoot how I was feeding DS. also bear in mind that midwives etc are "under a duty to promote breastfeeding" so probably feel that as part of their job they have to keep on cracking away at mentioning bfing, rather than just taking no for an answer - i.e. it's not that they think you are evil, just that their professional etc imperatives make them mention bfing.

Bagpuss30 · 26/11/2004 12:29

Mosschops, I am only 9 weeks pg with no 3 and already I feel sick about the thought of it. I ended up bottlefeeding my first child because he was hospitalised and my supply diminished quickly, with my second I breastfed for a year which was great for bonding but turned me into a virtual recluse because I was always feeding. That coupled with all the HV and midwife advice on feeding really finished me off last time and I felt I couldn't enjoy my baby because I was worrying about so many things, so yes, I know where you are coming from. I have this time made a decision to try to feed and then switch to bottles when I feel I've had enough. That way I am giving both ways a shot and will not feel railroaded into anything I'm not completely happy about.

Original poster
Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 12:29

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
katzguk · 26/11/2004 12:30

okay i got a different compromise for you want about expressing from birth? you can still give breastmilk but with all the benefits of bottles, equally mix the breastmilk bottles with formula so you don't have to express continously.

just a suggestion if not like others have said a happy mummy is best

secur · 26/11/2004 12:30

Message withdrawn

morningpaper · 26/11/2004 12:31

Mosschops: poor you! I agree with fisil that what's best for baby is a loving mummy. I would add what's best for baby is also a happy mummy! Baby formula isn't as good as breastmilk but there are decisions we make all the time that are compromises for all sorts of reasons. Your DH must let you decide for yourself. Ask him how he'd feel having his bollocks nibbled on 24/7.

Baby formula IS ALSO VERY GOOD FOR YOUR BABY and will make your new baby fat and happy! Good luck. XXX

SuzySox · 26/11/2004 12:31

Sorry I should make it clear, I'm not anti-breastfeeding just anti-pressure for breastfeeding. If you don't want to do it don't, stuff everyone else.

People blow it so out of proportion. Sit back relax and stick two fingers up at anyone that tries to force you to give it ago.My little girls mouth never came anywhere near my boobies and there's nothing wrong with her. If I have more I won't breast feed them either (unless I have a sudden urge to)

And besides I like my anti-gravity boobs just the way they are... they're mine all mine

suzywong · 26/11/2004 12:32

good plan katzguk

Mosschops, I didn't leak , not everyone does (don't want to pressure you but just to let you know that it isn't a done deal that you will have a this kind of inconvenience)

nailpolish · 26/11/2004 12:32

me again

just make a decision and stick to it, dont think about it again and decide thats what you are going to do, be happy and tell everyone so (that you are happy with your decision) be firm and they will get the message

please try and enjoy your pg and your new baby, there are lots more to babies than how they are fed

Bagpuss30 · 26/11/2004 12:33

Well said Nailpolish

nailpolish · 26/11/2004 12:35

secur - no its not wind! we got our first smile last night!

mornpaper - lol at bollock nibbling!

JoolsToo · 26/11/2004 12:37

if you don't really want to - it won't be a happy experience. I didn't want to - just tried initially cos 'it was the right thing to do'. Went to bottles and was much more relaxed.

Do what YOU feel is right - dh doesn't have to do it - can't know what its like so go with your own heart. I for one won't be slating you - good luck

prufrock · 26/11/2004 12:40

Mosschops. If you don't want to bf, then don't. But please don't not do it beause you don't want to feed every 2 hours, or think you will leak everywhere. Those are not valid reasons for your choice because they are not necessarily problems you will have.
I bf both, and fed every 3 hours to start with (Ok in the first few weeks there were quite often "extra" feeds as well) By the time dd and ds were 6 weeks we had settled down to bf's at 7, 11, 2.30, 5.30, 7 and 11. I found it anything but restrictive - I could go out whenever I wanted without having to make up bottles as I knew that if they did get upset I had a magic calming cure on tap. And after the first couple of weeks I only ever leaked if they had slept for longer than usual in the night. I managed to go away recently and not feed from 7am until 11pm and only started to leak slightly at about 8pm.

I'm NOT trying to make you feel guilty, honestly. It is completely your choice -even your dh has no say on this aspect of parenting, and a happy bottlefeeding mother is much better than a breastfeeding one who really doesn't want to do it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread