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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

Dont Want To Breast Feed .......

91 replies

Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 12:15

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

hercyulelog · 02/12/2004 16:30

Sorry highlander but lol at anyone blaming a baby crying on you having a c section.

Bigfatmomma · 02/12/2004 16:43

Mosschops, if you try it and don't like it you really must not feel guilty. You can do no more than try and I admire you for being so open-minded about something you're so unsure about. Hope your DH appreciates the effort you're making.

Good for you!

highlander · 02/12/2004 19:27

that's my SIL for you!

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 03/12/2004 10:08

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

tiredemma · 03/12/2004 10:21

i tried to breast feed ds1, for 1 night, it was just so difficult, my nipples went literally black with bruising and i thought one would come off in his mouth it was so painful. i also had stitches from delivery and was crying in pain from that so i gave up the idea of breastfeeding that night.
ds2 comes along 2 years later and tbh, i didnt even attempt to breastfeed.
the only people who tried to make me feel bad about it were HV (obviously) and a few friends who were not parents themselves(!)
both of my sons are thriving- bottle feeding has done them no harm, breastfeeding may have benefits but i wish the media wouldnt ram it down our throats that its the only way our babies should be fed. your baby- your choice.

wordsmith · 03/12/2004 10:47

Mosschops, you sound like a pretty sensible sort of person to me, do what YOU want and know will work best for you! I B'fed both my DSs but went onto formula pretty quickly, within 2 months, and while I quite enjoyed b/fing while it lasted(although DS2 was harder than DS1) what I didn't enjoy was the constant pressure, overt and otherwise, from the hospital and other 'well-meaning' friends, that I would be somehow 'failing' my baby if I didn't! I am a pretty bolshy type of person so can stand my own ground, but on the night that DS2 was born, I remember sitting in the postnatal ward's 'quiet' room at about 2am, desperately trying to get this new baby to feed, and looking up at the walls which were totally plastered (and I'm not exaggerating) with breastfeeding propaganda! I felt pretty bad about the fact that DS2 didn't seem to want to feed from me as easily as DS1 had, but if I had been a young, frightened first time mum, possible on my own, I would have felt TERRIBLE surrounded by all that - a total failure!

I had a freind who tried for 3 months to b/f and got clinically depressed because she saw herself as a 'failure'. It was only when she got DD onto formula that she started to recover herself.

All I am trying to say is, you know the facts, make an informed choice and don't let anyone make you feel less of a good mother for it. Not everyone wants to b/f; not everyone CAN. You will be the perfect mother for your child whatever you do!

Petall · 03/12/2004 10:53

Hi Mosschops
I'm so with you on this one. Had a terrible time feeding DD and ended up expressing then bottle feeding her before topping up with formula.I'm a midwife and had a huge guilt trip about the whole thing. I stuck it for 10 weeks before admitting defeat (I used an avent ISIS but whatever anyone says it can't be as effective as a latched on happy baby, and your supply diminishes- if the baby is breastfeeding at least it's content with you. If you are expressing you have to wait until they are settled and the older thay get the less time there is so you express less frequently and that's the downward spiral to your milk supply! The only benefit to this is your supply tails off so you don't ever feel engorged!) But the guilt.....! I ended up resenting DD and the time it took to do something basic like feed her.
I don't enjoy the whole pregnancy thing either and completely understand the not wanting to breastfeed. I didn't feed DS at all and from day one bonded with him. I really regret not enjoing the first little while with DD. I know second time around you are more relaxed anyhow, but with one less thing to worry about life is so much better.
I love being a mother and adore both of them, they are well and happy and at the end of the day surely that is more important than how they are fed.

wordsmith · 03/12/2004 11:00

Petall, it's so refreshing hearing a mw say this! I remember asking my hv about bottle feeding just before ds1 was born, and she actually looked round to make sure no-one was in the room before giving me the advice I needed! (And we were in my own living room at the time!)

mears · 03/12/2004 11:01

Mosschops30 - can I give you a midwife's point of view?

The information regarding breastfeeding is not propaganda but is there to allow women to make a truly informed choice. As a midwife, I must ensure that women have the information about the benefits of breastfeeding for both their baby and themselves.

HOWEVER, if a women then makes the choice to bottlefeed after receiving that knowledge, I do not have a problem with that. I have said before that I much prefer a woman to say @I do not want to breastfeed' than give a number of false reasons which usually have a solution such as 'I did not have enough milk last time', or 'my nipples were sore'. Those responses encourage a reply that includes a solution that breastfeeding can work.

There is no response to you saying 'I do not want to breastfeed other than 'OK'.

Your baby, your body, your choice. Please enjoy your new baby than worry needlessly

highlander · 04/12/2004 00:11

and here's another positive thing for you.......

I was 14 when my brother was born. he was initially BF (2 months) then onto bottles. I can remember having to make up bottles for him and feeding him and feeling sooooooooo important

highlander · 04/12/2004 00:12

eek, mosschops - a Christmas baby?!

Don't forget your Christmas lights for your hospital bag

cockenzie · 06/12/2004 09:26

hI there..

i am sorry to just but in.i am on another thread but need advice very BADLY

my 10 months is still b/feeding.she is happy to drink of a cup juice or water or followon milk

how ever very often (she goes for breast too easily)whether its at meal times or not she goes straight for breast. i try to encourage her otherwise like offering her food even it its not her mealtime but she refuses anything and still goes for breast. WHY? what can i do? is it comfort drinking? she is a very cuddly baby indeed .can u advice me pls??

tiktok · 06/12/2004 09:57

cockenzie - not appropriate to start a new discussion here - begin a new thread with the same Q is a better idea :)

cockenzie · 06/12/2004 10:07

tx tiktok

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 06/12/2004 16:05

Went to my final Breastfeeding workshop today and I take my hat off to the counsellor that runs it. I told her how I was feeling and she made a huge point about breast and bottle feeding not being such an issue in the developed world and that if I was living somewhere without running water or government controlled formula then it would be a matter of life and death for the baby but not really here.
She also pointed out that breastfeeding is a small amount of a childs life and that women who breastfeed and then go on to stuff their children with crisps, sweets and fizzy drinks are no better than a woman who bottle feeds or otherwise.
Just thought I'd pass on these words of wisdom incase anyone else is struggling with their conscience as much as I was.

OP posts:

cockenzie · 06/12/2004 16:17

tx chops.one thing i wil definitely try to avoid is feeding dd on crisps and fizzy drinks. i'd rather, if i can, take time to make snacks and feed her healthily.

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