Page 2 | Dont Want To Breast Feed .......

secur · 26/11/2004 12:46

Message withdrawn

nailpolish · 26/11/2004 12:51

Bigfatmomma · 26/11/2004 13:15

One thing I've learned as a mother is to do what's best for you and your family, regardless of what others say.

Biggest problem in your case is what your DH wants - I know it's not his body, but it is his baby and I think fathers do have rights. Is there no way you could agree to a limited trial period (1-2wks, say) just to show willing and shut him up?

FWIW, I think your friend is a pretty extreme example.

Hope you and DH can reach agreement and not let this spoil your pg.

Gobbledigook · 26/11/2004 15:24

Mosschops - do what you want to do, stuff anyone else - it's your body and your decision IMO. Yes, fathers do have rights, but breastfeeding is not critical to survival, health or intelligence - your baby will thrive just the same on formula.

I bf ds1 for a bit - hated it, and went straight to bottle for ds2 and ds3. I've got perfectly healthy, bright and intelligent boys who sleep like a dream etc etc. No problems whatsoever but most of all, they have a mummy who didn't spiral into depression because she was doing something she hated.

Do what you want and don't feel guilty for a dot.

mummytummy · 26/11/2004 15:30

Hi Mosschops30. I breastfed DD1 for 6 months out of pure guilt and ended up with severe PND - so severe, I had to give up work and ended up on ADs with counselling for 6 months. Yes breast is best, but not if you end up depressed about it. Second time, I fed for 7 weeks, hated it, and had to be really strong to knock it on the head, because I would have carried on again through guilt and probably ended up with PND again. I'm neither pro-breast, nor pro-bottle, I believe you should do whatever is best for you and your family, and an unhappy mother is probably not the best thing for the family.

SoupDragon · 26/11/2004 15:36

If you don't want to do it, don't. But, how about a compromise with your DH of trying bf-ing for, say, a week so your baby gets the colostrum.

Just as important for a baby to have a happy mother.

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 15:44

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

pixiefish · 26/11/2004 15:48

You can hand express , or use electric or hand pump. -

secur · 26/11/2004 15:51

Message withdrawn

Bellie · 26/11/2004 15:52

Mosschops I am expressing rather than breastfeeding as dd would not feed from me at all.
I am having to top up with formula as well. Whilst I am finding it OK to do this, I am starting to feel that the time spent expressing is time that I could spend with dd rather than looking at her and hoping that she will not wake up. TBH I think I will stop the expressing at 6 weeks and move to formula totally. It can also get demoralising when you have been pumping for 30 mins and only have an oz or two which you know is not enough!

I wanted to breastfeed, but find that the bottles are easy and it also means that dh can help with the feeds, which after a day of screaming means he can have time with dd whilst I re-charge the batteries in the bath!

Original poster

Mosschops30 · 26/11/2004 15:54

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

dinosaur · 26/11/2004 15:56

It really is horses for courses, Mosschops30. I don't mind breastfeeding but I absolutely hate expressing, find it oddly degrading having to have this apparatus clamped to my boobs, and could never in a million years cope with expressing every single feed.

tabitha · 26/11/2004 15:57

Mosschops,

if you don't want to breastfeed - don't do it, simple as that. When I had dd1 I felt exactly as you do. The thought of breastfeeding made me feel sick and I 'wanted my body' back. Dd1 and dd2 were bottle-fed birth and were/are the healthiest girls you could hope to meet - I don't think dd1 had a day of illness when she was a baby. I think that having a happy bottle-feeding mother is infinitely better than a miserable breast-feeding mum.
In saying all of this, I did breastfeed ds and dd3 and am 'a bit of a convert' but I still think you should do what you think best and stuff the midwife and your dh (although to a lesser extent, of course )

jabberwocky · 26/11/2004 15:58

Mosschops I am known among my friends as the "expressing Queen"! Did it for a year (). I found it was the best of both worlds in many ways. DS got his BM, I got control of my life and my nipples !!!

Get a really good pump right off the bat. I used an Ameda Purely Yours. It has a little backpack so you can carry it anywhere. It even has an attachment for the cigarette lighter in the car (I actually used it in the backseat while a friend drove home from a yoga workshop once - LOL)
You can start off pumping every 3 hours when your milk comes in, build up some frozen and then gradually cut back to what works best for you schedule wise
It does hurt a bit at first, but nothing like having a babe chomping down on you. The discomfort went away pretty quickly for me.

Feel free to CAT me. I think there are also some expressing threads around.

vict17 · 26/11/2004 16:00

it's a bit of a myth though that bottle feeding = more routine. I had to give up b/f after 5 weeks but it still took til about 3 months to get him into a routine feeding wise. I'd start to give him a bottle thinking he was hungry and he'd fall asleep on it so it all had to go down the sink (literally money down the drain!)

tabitha · 26/11/2004 16:00

Oh and like dinosaur, although I've enjoyed breastfeeding this time round, I never fancied expressing - never tried it but always thought I would feel like a dairy cow
I think the answer is to do what you feel happy with.

mummytummy · 26/11/2004 16:01

A friend of mine purely expressed - she hired a machine from the NCT. She said it sounded a bit like a nuclear generator when you started it up, but apparently it worked much better than my pathetic hand pump.

PocketTasha · 26/11/2004 16:06

Hiya, if you can express from the word go then that should be a greast compromise with your dh. You need to do what's best for you and plenty of women feel the way you do, Like lots of people have said happy and loving mummy is best for baby.I bf my ds for four months and am looking forward to bf this time round, but everyone is different. Just examine your reasons carefully, just in case you change your mind when your baby is a couple of weeks old, it's hard to get the opportunity to start back. If i was to say the dreaded phrase "give it a go" it would be for you no one else. Remember that if you want your body back the way it was, a little breast feeding is probably a good idea. To get your womb contracted quickly, plus giving baby the colustrum bit that formula can't provide. I don't think any one should EVER be pressured into something they don't want to do. (just thought that was worth a mention) Just be careful to turn a deaf ear to mw and hv etc. and concentrate on what you really want. So you don't get caught up in fighting against them and dh, and forget to stop and consider your own feeling, just in case you do change your mind when baby is born. It's all about you, your family, your baby and your choice after all.

throckenholt · 26/11/2004 16:08

genuine question - what is it that makes you feel sick about the idea ?

Uwila · 26/11/2004 16:11

I used a pump. The avent Isis seems to be the popular one. I also got an electric one, but found the avent to have better suction.

The MW told me that the pump wasn't as good as baby sucking to milk production. But to this day,I don;t really buy that argument. Seems to me that suction is suction. However, I never produced much milk. Baby would suck 'til it was dry, which wasn't very long. Then I would top her up with formula. After about 4 weeks of this I gave up all together and went for SMA gold.

number 2 is due in May, and I plan to give it a go. But if it's as painful and unsuccessful as last time, then I'm going to swap to bottles and not get too worried about it.

The only thing that really bothered me was the MWs seemed rather happy to offer to help me, and poke at my boobs. Maybe I'm a stuffy old bat, but I don't like people poking at my boobs. Yuck. Go away.

But, I agree with the earlier comments about colostrum. It's wonderful stuff. so I will definitely at least express that. Even if I switch to formula after a week, I think the benefits of colostrum go a long way.

Bigfatmomma · 26/11/2004 16:13

DS had a cleft and couldn't feed properly from the breast, so I expressed all his feeds for 6wks and then gradually reduced it over the next 4wks. My experience of expressing wasn't quite as good as others here - reached the point where the electric pump was causing me to produce bottles of what looked like strawberry milkshake . Hand pump was much gentler but slower.

Don't forget that this method means expressing, feeding and sterilising - the whole feeding process will take longer this way and involve more paraphernalia.

Sorry if I sound negative - just wanted to give you the cons as well as the pros! If you really can't face bf but like the idea of the little one having the benefits of bm, then this could be the compromise solution you're looking for.

PocketTasha · 26/11/2004 16:23

I'm with Uwilla on the Isis hand pump, found it fab. But then i've never tried an electric one so i'm a little biased. Other hand pumps were rubbish. and i tried a couple of those. I didn't have as much success expressing, i could do it but the difference as far as i know is hormonal. Having your baby feed from you causes milk to be produced, and where some women find it easy to express away from there babies others find it hard without that hormone rush. I think it's called the Let-down reflux. (Please don't stone me everyone if i'm wrong!)

artyjoe · 26/11/2004 16:57

Hi Mosschops, just wanted to let you know I'm totally with you on this...I can't even bear the idea of it...don't feel quite so strongly about expressing but I've had a very rough pregnancy and would rather as much discomfort end with the birth so I can get on with enjoying being a mum, so I know I won't do this either.

I have 'Bottle Fed From Birth' written all over my notes and birthplan so I don't feel under pressure to justify my decision when feeling vulnerable straight after the birth.

I understand all the arguements for breast feeding but this decision is the only one that will work for me personally.

Good luck with the birth x

blueteddy · 26/11/2004 17:03

I was like you & knew from the moment I became pregnant that I did not want to breast feed.
I did feel that midwives etc did tend to put the pressure on & I got little support from the hospital staff after having both of my children, as I was a rebel of a bottle feeding Mum!
I think that it is wrong that you are made to feel like you are a failure of a mother, just because you choose that breastfeeding is not 4 u.
I did not feel comfotable doing it & wanted my body & boobs back 2 myself! ( I also wanted a drink!!!)
My children are fit healthy & loved as much as any child can be.
At the end of the day it is your decision & your body. Do what ever is best 4 u!

aloha · 26/11/2004 17:34

Not wishing to persuade anyone, but you CAN have a drink!
And breastfeeding didn't hurt me at all. Honest.