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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Did you choose to bottle feed and why?

352 replies

Alexandersmummy · 15/01/2008 22:34

I am currently 40 wks + 5 days and want to bottle feed, as I did with my first but feel under increasing pressure to breast feed from midwife. I was just wondering if you bottle fed did you feel this pressure and how did you cope?
I know all the good reasons to breast feed but it's not for me, I feel uncomfy with it.
I'd really appreciate any comments!

OP posts:
becka1 · 25/01/2008 22:47

and what do you mean how did I know my baby slep through for 12 hours....I didn't sleep for 12 hours!!!! what adult does...but enough to be fucntional when I happened to b very ill....have you any idea diva how it feels to lose 2 pints of blood....I just about felt alive actually!!!!!

Divastrop · 25/01/2008 22:48

i only asked a genuine question.i dont see how that is rude?

pooka · 25/01/2008 22:48

But there have been threads like that in the past. There have been hurtful comments about extended breastfeeding, about people breastfeeding in public and so on. Where hurtful comments have been made with absolutely no factual or medical basis.

The way I see it, from looking at this thread, was that the OP asked for information about how to deal with the midwife. That information was given. She was asked whether anyone could help in terms of why she felt uncomfy with the idea.

But also, in the way of most threads on mumsnet, which tend to evolve and have discussions developing from the op, the wider issue of why people might feel uncomfortable with breastfeeding, or make a conscious decision to formula feed and whether better advice and help might have made a difference, was discussed.

And if the topic was separated, what about if you mix feed? Give 1 bottle in the evening? Bottle feed but with expressed milk?

The fact is that the vast majority of mothers formula feed certainly after the first few weeks. And yet anyone who advocates breast feeding and refers to the health benefits for the mother and baby is somehow seen as, variously, militant, pushy, having an agenda.

becka1 · 25/01/2008 22:49

ok, I am mad, now starting a new thread, "happy FFs"....as there is no support on here and that is what the original poster wanted

pooka · 25/01/2008 22:50

Zealots now. Bellyaching.

Divastrop · 25/01/2008 22:51

i'm a happy ff.i just dont like trolls.

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 22:52

Yes, i wanted my boobs to stay the same, because my first pregnancy was a twin one, resulting in stretchmarks from my chest to my f@nny, my arse had grown two sizes during pg, and i look like sh!t, except my bobs, which are fine thanks very much.

GOT A PROBLEM?

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 22:53

(should say boobs, not bobs.)

becka1 · 25/01/2008 22:53

of course you were personal and rude - you said "becka-how do you know your baby slept through from 3 weeks if your dh did all the night feeds and you got a full nights sleep every night?
sleeping 12 hours from 3 weeks sounds unhealthy to me.i have never heard of a ff baby sleeping through from that age personally"...well mine did and you seem to be suggesting I wasn't aware of her at all as I was getting a nights sleep and you said her sleeping habits were unhealthy...well none of the medical professionals she has seen think so..........you point was overally personal and extremely insensitive

becka1 · 25/01/2008 22:54

who are you calling a troll?

hunkermunker · 25/01/2008 22:54

GodzillasBumcheek, bf doesn't change your breasts, pregnancy does.

See here

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 22:56

Tell my neice that!

pooka · 25/01/2008 22:56

My boobs are OK. Now my stomach.............

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 22:56

Boobie stretchmarks anyone? Not me!

hunkermunker · 25/01/2008 22:56

I don't know your niece. You tell her

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 22:57

Lol now, anyway, but have to got to bed.

Nobody takes me seriously anyway (well, they shouldn't), hrrrrmph

VictorianSqualor · 25/01/2008 22:59

Ach, stretchmarks aint all that bad anyway, I have a scar from ym pubic bone to my belly button from my first CS, fuck stretch marks, that is a big bloody mark across my stomach, and so what, I got it making my children. I'd lose a limb for either of them why not have a few stretch marks?

Beauregard · 25/01/2008 23:00

In answer to the op.

I chose to FF dd2 and would not have even considered BF her.

I BF dd1 for the measely length of 2 and a half weeks and i vowed there and then i would never do it again. It was more painful than slicing my own nipples off with shards of broken glass,seriously i used to cry every time i had to feed dd1 and would bite my lip and curl my toes.I was in hospital for 5 days and the midwifes although 'supportive'of BF they often gave me conflicting advice.Some told me off for using nipple shields as my nipples were bleeding whilst others said it was ok.Even with the shields the pain was intense.The midwifes were even latching her on for me and it was still agony. dd was also losing weight rapidly . I also felt so exposed when family turned up mid feed .I had depression following dd's birth and the relief i felt when i decided to FF was immense.
I had no hesitation in FF d2 and (yes i will probably get jumped on by someone as is the norm on BF/FF threads)the thought of doing so tbh fills me with horror and turns my stomach.

I have no objection to other mums breastfeeding but the prospect of doing so myself does really turn my stomach.

I see no reason why mums who choose to FF should be looked down on by BF mums.
Yes we all know that ideally BF is nutritionally better for babies but unfortunately the best laid plans do not always work out the way we had hoped.
Mums who choose to FF should not be made to feel shitty because they can't/won't BF.

How we choose to feed our LO's is up to the parent just as how we disapline and nuture the child.

I always avoid these threads because they always turn nasty in the end.

pooka · 25/01/2008 23:00

I have some stretch marks from puberty.

Sabire · 25/01/2008 23:16

"there is no medical evidence to show that BF is better than FF when in that particular circumstance the latter happens to be better for that particular mother for their well being....and their never will be......"

So are you making a case that if a mum doesn't want to breastfeed - maybe because she finds it inconvenient/and/or embarrassing, she wants her sleep at night, doesn't want to have to wear manky nursing bras etc, but she does it because she feels it's best for her baby - then her baby will not experience the benefits of breastfeeding? That somehow, because its mother isn't entirely happy with her feeding choice her baby WON'T therefore receive protection against diabetes, diarrheoa etc?

That somehow not 'enjoying' breastfeeding makes all the hard health benefits that come with it somehow disappear....

hmmmmmmm

What do you suppose the mechanism for that might be?

Does finding breastfeeding emotionally/socially or physically difficult make all the antibodies and probiotics disappear from your milk or something? Or will not actively 'enjoying' breastfeeding (even though you're enjoying holding, loving and being with your baby) somehow damage them emotionally to the point where it'll compromise their immune system?

Have to say - that's the best one I've heard yet.

I didn't enjoy feeding much with my first initially - found it embarrassing, painful and quite stressful. I carried on because I thought it was the best thing for her and eventually it all came good (as it usually does if you can get through the tough bit at the beginning). Do you think that those weeks when I was struggling with breastfeeding I was damaging my child? Because I thought I was just loving her and being a good mum. Bf was hard and I did shed some tears over it - but it didn't make me hate her or be abusive to her. If I'd developed PND related to bf difficulties then - yes - I can understand that if untreated then PND in a mother can be very destructive for babies - but simply not actively 'enjoying' breastfeeding? Or finding it embarrassing or inconvenient? It never occured to me that you had to 'love' breastfeeding to want to do it for your child. I don't much like changing nappies or helping my child with her homework but I do it because it's part of the package and it's important for them.

Scottishmummy

"there is no definitive medical evidence/ebm/peer reviewed data to show FF is harmful"

Actually there's plenty - sorry but there is. There's clear evidence that populations of ff and mixed fed babies in developed countries have FAR higher rates of hospital admission for diarrheoa and vomiting, and for respitory infections. If you feel this information is spurious I suggest you write to the chief executive of the NHS and ask to have this information taken off the NHS Direct website, and removed from all current NHS evidence based patient information on infant feeding. You might also want to write to the Royal College of Midwives and request they remove references to this research from their current textbooks which are on every student midwife's reading list. While you're at it you can contact UNICEF and the World Health Organisation as their recommendation on 6 months exclusive breastfeeding are based on this research as well.

Unless you think that the NHS, the WHO, Unicef and the Royal College of Midwives (not to forget the American Academy of Paediatrics) are also a bunch of breastfeeding nazis/zealots etc as well who are just out to befuddle mothers with medically unsupported recommendations.....

Beauregard · 25/01/2008 23:18

Excuse me but i hope that wasn't directed at me Sabire?

scottishmummy · 25/01/2008 23:19

yawn.................................

Beauregard · 25/01/2008 23:23

Oh ffs.

Sabire go to bed safe in the knowledge that you are 'better' than us FF .

scottishmummy · 25/01/2008 23:30

sabine - UNICEF et al are recommended guidelines. They are not saying FF is harmful. The recommendations are that BF is of course beneficial for at least 6months. But Ding Ding some mums chose not to. and FF is not harmful

i have been through BMJ and Lancet and i can not find any study that says FF is harmful

you need to differentiate from what is officail guidance about an interventio

incidentally i have never said Nazi in relation to BF - i personally find this association hurtful and repugnant.please refrain from suggesting i have made such a link

scottishmummy · 25/01/2008 23:37

sabine - if FF is so bad (considering the majority of mums do it at some time) why is A&E not full of babies with GI problems/vomiting/dehydration - oh i know why because you are making spurious statements