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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Did you choose to bottle feed and why?

352 replies

Alexandersmummy · 15/01/2008 22:34

I am currently 40 wks + 5 days and want to bottle feed, as I did with my first but feel under increasing pressure to breast feed from midwife. I was just wondering if you bottle fed did you feel this pressure and how did you cope?
I know all the good reasons to breast feed but it's not for me, I feel uncomfy with it.
I'd really appreciate any comments!

OP posts:
BabiesEverywhere · 25/01/2008 20:36

QUOTE Babieseverywhere, that may have been your priority but after losing 2 pints of blood in childbirth I can tell you sleep was the only thing on my mind.
I am sorry you had a terrible time in childbirth, sadly I do understand...I wish I didn't.

QUOTE I'm not knocking BF and so I don't feel you should knock my opinions on advantages of FF because there are clear advantages for some people.
I am not 'knocking' your opinion. You stated how important a good nights sleep was to you, I simply stated my own opinion on the importance of a good night sleep for me.

IMO the only advantage of formula for a baby, is when there is no alternative. My mum sadly lost her milk when I was a tiny baby, if it was not for formula I would of died.

So I am not anti-formula, but in my unqualified just a mum opinion it is a poor substitute for real breast milk (if available)

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2008 20:46

And my unqualified just a mum opinion with only her own anecdotal evidence to support it is... formula is fine!

BabiesEverywhere · 25/01/2008 20:50

Of course formula is fine, I was fed on formula I grew up healthy...but it is still it is a substitute for real breast milk.

BabiesEverywhere · 25/01/2008 20:50

it is

Sorry, lack of sleep affecting typing.

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2008 20:55

So leave the op alone and let her do what she wants! She actually says: I know all the good reasons to bf, but don't want to... feels under pressure to bf still. U lot have probably really helped! Not.

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 20:56

I FF my DD3 from birth, because i wanted to.

Do i dare say any more?

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2008 20:59

You can say anything u like duck because you have the best name in the history of MN!!

becka1 · 25/01/2008 20:59

Babieseverywhere "IMO the only advantage of formula for a baby, is when there is no alternative. "...yes that is your opinion....in my opinion and many other mums I know FF has many advantages. My baby slept through (12 hours) from 3 weeks...maybe not down to FF but I haven't heard of BF babies sleeping through that early

Wilkie · 25/01/2008 21:00

I bottle fed, tried BFing for 1 day but didn't like it. I thought I would bottle feed TBH anyway and I was really happy doing it. It meant that I could share feeding duties with DH, and get some much needed sleep as we were able to alternate the night feeds.

I am a virgo and like routine so I found the whole preparation, knowing how much he had had etc worked well with my our routine.

I used SMA first but DS didn't get on with it, I would recommend Aptamil.

I have TBH, the MWs were really great and didn't push me in either direction.

Do what you want to do - it's your baby and your life.

Good luck.

Idobelieveinfairies · 25/01/2008 21:01

well i know i probably haven't helped, after having 8 i still wouldn't know what to choose!

I am sympathising, because it is hard to choose. I can see/have experienced points from both sides.

I think to keep an open-mind and wait til baby arrives, it's quite amazing the feelings and love you can get straight away, you may suddenly decide which is best for you and baby then, be prepared for both i'd say.

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2008 21:01

Oh don't mention sleep. Sleep is for the weak or something according to this lot!....

becka1 · 25/01/2008 21:01

i know what ur saying godzillas, there never seems to be room on this thread for mums who FF because they WANT to and for whom they feel is the best option for them and their baby

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 21:04

Wilkie - virgo? Me too!! I still have a routine now, and DD3 is 13 months!

PuppyMonkey - thankyou, your name is funky too (did i just use the word funky in public - oops)

becka1 · 25/01/2008 21:06

Yeah for the weak minded or the weak bodied in my case!!! Having had every intervention known to man and ending up in theatre, sleep wasn't a luxury!!!!!!

PuppyMonkey · 25/01/2008 21:12

Wonder has the op had her baby yet?

Wilkie · 25/01/2008 21:13

I do think BF and FF should be two separate threads because there always seems to be some sort of ructions on these threads.

I honestly never ever felt guilty for FFing DS. It didn't even cross my mind until....MN!

I might try BFing with the next one just for the experience although the idea doesn't thrill me and my reason is selfish - I like sharing the night feeds with DH , I can't cope with little sleep, I struggle massively due to various reasons.

BabiesEverywhere · 25/01/2008 21:14

I apologise to the OP if I caused any distress to her. I think I confused this thread for a another one in the same topic area (which was more a debate)

Having reread the OP (and the entire thread) I realised my mistake.

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 21:16

Ok (deep breath)

I could take aspirin if i FF

DH could take any feed he chose to

I could see that DD was getting enough milk because i could see how much is/isn't left from each feed

I thought i wouldn't have to strip off outside on a cold day in order to feed my DD (although admittedly i never fed her outside on a cold day anyway as i realised it wouldn't be comfortable for her!)

I was irrationally terrified of mastitis

I wanted my boobs to stay the same

And a couple more reasons besides.

Wilkie · 25/01/2008 21:19

Godzilla's - we could be friends

Mine were:

DH helping with night feeds
Being able to take painkillers/AD again
Being able to see how much he had had at each feed
DH being able to bond with DS (I think feeding is a big part of this)
Not having to deal with leaking boobs and breast pads

OP HTH and please come back to say whether you have had that little bubba yet?!

Sabire · 25/01/2008 21:21

"Do you know anyone who looked back and was angry at their mothers because they weren't breastfed ?"

Well I have met a couple of people actually - but they didn't feel this way after they came to understand how little TRUE informed choice most women in the past had as to how they fed their babies - as is true of many women today IMO. My own mum didn't feed any of us for very long. We were big babies and she was told she wouldn't be able to make enough milk for us and that formula was better. Do I resent her for being duped by this bad advice into stopping breastfeeding early? Nope of course not.

Thinking about it, I know people whose mothers have smoked during their pregnancies, and fed them utter cr*p as children. None of them resents their mums for doing this because they understand the pressures they were under at the time. If you grow up feeling loved and valued you're not going to hold a grudge about not being breastfed. That doesn't mean you haven't missed out on something that would have given you a huge amount of pleasure as a baby, and something that you would have benefited from in the short and long term, in all sorts of intangible ways.

"Do you know anyone who has suffered in some way and put it down to the fact they weren't breast fed "

Come on - you know these things don't work this way. Even with things like smoking in pregnancy, or extremely poor diet in pregnancy it's very difficult make connections with specific health problems that develop in individuals at a later date. I'm sure you can accept this is the case for most health issues - that there isn't usually a simple, identifiable cause and effect relationship whereby we can pin health problems on one particular cause. If it was easy for us to make clear, easy links then cigarette companies would have been sued out of existence years ago. Why should it be any different with not being breastfed?

All I know is that when you look at what the research says you have to come to this conclusion: that there will be babies who end up being hospitalised WHO WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN SICK HAD THEY BEEN BREASTFED. In other words - there are real children and babies - NOW - in hospital or at home sick, who wouldn't have been sick if they'd got breastmilk.

I appreciate that most people who choose to ff (the overwhelming majority I assume), either don't know this or don't believe it - that's fine. Most people don't look at the cold, hard medical research before coming to a decision about feeding their babies - god I never knew this stuff before I had my first. I was shocked when I stumbled across this information. (which as far as I can see btw comes from reliable sources - this is information that appears on the NHS Direct website as well as in every recent midwifery textbook on breastfeeding - it's just not passed on to parents generally).

The thing is though - once you know these things you can't forget them, and you listen in to the discussions on feeding feeling like you come from a different planet. I just sit there thinking - why haven't all mums been told this stuff while they're still in a position to make a choice? If midwives know this then why the heck aren't we being told? Given that we're told about all the other things we might inadvertantly do that might increase the risk of illness to our child, even to a very small degree?

. "So at the end of the day, if women try it and it isn't for them for whatever reason - just applaud the fact that they tried.

Yes - I do applaud people for trying. I also accept that mothers who choose not to breastfeed also believe that they are not disadvantaging their babies in any way and that the majority of babies thrive on formula.

But - I don't accept that we should be complacent that a third of babies never get any breastmilk, and that the majority of babies over four weeks are artificially fed. How can it be right that the majority of healthy, well-fed women in this country are failing with a normal biological function that most women in developing countries have no problem with? It's mad. How many of you would feel happy about a c-section rate of 80% in this country if you thought most women were ending up with sections because a) they weren't being given full information on the pros and cons of cs vs vb so were choosing to have electives without knowing what the real risks were or b) they weren't being cared for properly by midwives so they were ending up in theatre, when with the right care they could have had safe vaginal births? That's the way I see it.

Puppymonkey - I've never told anyone that they should or should't do anything as regards the way they feed their baby. Only you know what your limits are - that's true of all of us. I think it's just in your interest to make people like me out to be really unsympathetic and frankly completely brutal and unreasonable - then you can comfortably disregard everything else we say on the subject as nonsense - especially the things that raise questions or issues you might not have considered before.

Wilkie · 25/01/2008 21:25

Sabire - did you actually read the OP???

Not disagreeing with your post and it's content but you have totally disregarded the OPs question and spouted your own information.

That's annoying, not the information you give.

GodzillasAbominableBumcheek · 25/01/2008 21:27

Yes, i agree, i was just going to reply to Sabire when i just thought,

No. [Talk to the hand cos we ain't list'nin']

IorekByrnison · 25/01/2008 21:27

Sabire, I know that you feel passionately about this and your arguments are strong.

But I'm not sure that this thread is the place for it given the OP's original comments.

Looby34 · 25/01/2008 21:29

Loving the more chilled out vibe that is going on between you guys at the mo. But BEWARE Sabire will be back soon. Godzilla - did you really say you wanted your boobs to stay the same - WATCH OUT !!! Even if I'd wanted to say that, I have learned from my past few posts that I can't say what I feel on here for fear of damnation being cast upon me. Think I shall stick to offering interview and employment related advice on other topic posts .

becka1 · 25/01/2008 21:29

Mine were:

DH being able to do feeds - good for me and baby, and brilliant for the two of them
Being able to have the diet I wanted after restrictive diet in pregnancy
Getting my body back to normal sooner rather than later
Returning to work (self-employed so important) sooner rather than later (and easily....I know you can express)
Dare I say it....booking a babysitter (my mum!) and having a few good nights out with my DH and not having to think of units!!!! Mum avaible next am....only happens now and aagin, I'm not that lucky!!!
But most of all me being chilled, baby being chilled...............may have happened BF but who knows...certainly did happend FF....i.e. no problems whatsoever