Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why can't we just all breatsfeed?

600 replies

pupuce · 15/11/2004 21:57

Seeing the recent debates on breastfeeding, I didn't want to take part in the discussion as I didn't feel I could add to the debate but I was reading this and thought.... why is it that so many women who ended up bottlefeeding have stories of "not enough milk", "baby not thriving", etc.... so we have a BF rate in this country of barely 1 in 2 babies breastfed after 1 week (that's not impressive if you do know that breast is best)... why is it that the Swedes have 98%....
I am sure it's a combination of factors.... but it does mean that too many people in this country have a "wrong reason" for not BF.... surely many women have not enough information about milk production to feel that they truly didn't have enough milk....

OK - am I starting world war 3 ??? hope not

OP posts:
aloha · 17/11/2004 11:08

I'm afraid I still feel as if I am reading a different thread to you.
But OK, given that the girls you know don't read mumsnet, why do you think they have such a negative idea about breastfeeding and what do you think could be done to change that idea?

handlemecarefully · 17/11/2004 11:09

Hear, hear Oldqueencole

Uwila · 17/11/2004 11:20

I agree with OQC. This thread is not a positive one. It is one-sided pro breastfeeding. And most certainly is based upon the assumption that everyone who can should. I think a more appropriate (and productive) topic would be "why do mothers who want to breast feed sometimes give up"

I don't think there is anything to be said about or to women who choose not to breastfeed for whatever reason. Whether they can't because of medication, or they simply choose no to because they want Dad to do half the work, or any other reason.

The useful research topic would be how to contribute to successful breastfeeding in those who would like to succeed, but give up.

handlemecarefully · 17/11/2004 11:25

And hear, hear Uwila

Original poster
pupuce · 17/11/2004 11:31

It was a positive, informative, open-minded one where there was no slanging match but it turned nasty much later on.... sad really... I am bowing out of this.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 17/11/2004 11:31

Uwila, can I ask you to contribute to my thread about support on postnatal wards? Or anyone who has some suggestions for supporting mums who want to breastfeed postnatally. I want to do something positive to help and have the chance to very soon. I'd be interested to hear your views.

colditzmum · 17/11/2004 11:35

Hypoyhetical question here, Would breastmilk produced for a second baby benefit the older child, if the older was never originally breastfed? Probably one would have to express for older child, but would it be worthwhile or pointless? This is a genune question, not intending to upset anyone with my ignorance

Oldqueencole · 17/11/2004 11:39

Well said Uwilla. I do think that breastfeeding does have a bad image because some people go head in looking to see how much they can put down people who don't feed. I think it causes resentment, with both breastfeeders and bottlefeeders. I personally hated the solidarity-type thing "well done you for feeding" type conversation that you would sometimes get from other breastfeeding mothers. I felt that I fed purely because I found it easy, not because I wanted a pat on the back! I remember at NCT classes some women who hadn't made their mind up about feeding being totally put off by a bullying style b/feeding counsellor. I'm off now to go and do some fingerpainting with my daughter.

aloha · 17/11/2004 11:43

Oh God, people keep on saying that this thread is full of attacks on people who don't breastfeed. Well my computer must be up the spout then, because I don't see them.

velcrobott · 17/11/2004 11:45

I feel bullied by this thread as a breastfeeder.... There are plenty of people on here who feel like they need to justify their choices of bottle feeding (which wasn't the question anyway) by attacking the people who breastfeed.... really sad.
Is there anything positive we can say about BF that isn't considered self-righteous in your mind then ? Seems like BF mums can't win... so no one wins... was it ever a contest ????
I think some of you have ISSUES .... and bullying is one way of dealing with it !

PuffTheMagicDragon · 17/11/2004 11:56

I think this thread WAS a really interesting and useful debate, but it only takes one dimwitted post to turn it into the internet version of Question Time.

handlemecarefully · 17/11/2004 11:58

Actually v-bott,

I breastfed both of mine for a respectable amount of time, and yet I still find some of the contributors on here somewhat preachy and they take a moral high ground towards people who bottlefeed.

Anyway, not sure I give a stuff either way anymore! I've been lurking on this thread with a sort of morbid fascination thinking "surely, it can't still be going????", but even though my job is spectacularly boring at the moment (hence lots of mumsnetting), I'm thinking that writing an Estates strategy might be more rewarding now....

CountessDracula · 17/11/2004 11:58

I'm sorry but the medical profession (not all of them obv) DO bully you. I have posted this before, when I was going to ante natal classes at the C&W they had a session on b/f - I asked when they were going to cover bottle feeding and was told in no uncertain terms that the C&W was a baby friendly hospital and that they would not discuss it as they didn't consider it to be baby friendly.

One VERY cross CD and red faced MW later (as I not very calmly explained that is was not very F**ing baby friendly to pump your newborn full of immunosuppresants and the rest of the class agreed with me and said that they hadn't made up their minds and wanted the info too in case they couldn't manage to bf) we spent a good half hour discussing the very important issues of sterilising, mixing and storing feed etc. I mean FFS.

bundle · 17/11/2004 12:00

uwila, given the current state of breastfeeding in this country, i think we need some pro breastfeeding threads, as i believe we need a complete mindshift to help support people into even considering bfeeding - and stopping companies making heaps of money by encouraging mothers to think of formula first when there's a free and healthier - for mother and baby - alternative, breastmilk. I'm not being critical of women who choose formula, just trying to redress the balance a little.

bundle · 17/11/2004 12:01

(point taken, CD,about your experience, I'm very glad you were listened to, even if you had to get cross)

soapbox · 17/11/2004 12:07

It is interesting though that how we feel about the bullying does depend on our own individual experiences.

Like CD I find these threads a little harrowing because I wanted to breastfeed but it didn't work out for me. However, my experience was very different from hers in that I felt bullied into bottle feeding, when breastfeeding looking back might still have been an option.

SO whilst these threads are upsetting to me, to my mind if breastfeeding was better supported others having their babies with similar problems might at least have breasfeeding presented as one option to them.

I think having read these threads what is obvious is that there is a damned load of inconsistent messages and practices surrounding the whole bottle and breastfeeding issue.

It would of course be ideal for both breast feeding and bottle feeding options to be supported

JoolsToo · 17/11/2004 12:14

ok - it WAS the 70's but I can categorically state that some midwives at Billinge Hospital in Wigan treated you like a social pariah if you chose not to breastfeed.

They frowned on epidurals too!

Needless to say I went back to my lovely Withington Hospital in Manchester to have baby No 3 - much more caring

marialuisa · 17/11/2004 12:29

When I had DD at the Heath in Cardiff the only comment I got was a surprised "oh, it's unusual for someone so into natural birth to bottle-feed"
(BTW natural birth was anything but, but refusing anything stroner than entonox obviously made me some sort of sheila kitzinger in the circs). Have to say that i was pleasantly surprised.

I think the tone of govt health info in general does breastf any favours. Maybe a less dogmatic approach would do better?

Twiglett · 17/11/2004 12:48

what ya got against Question Time Puff

Totally agree with the start of that comment though .. this was an interesting and informative discussion until it started to descend into playground I said, you said, she did, we did

Gobbledigook · 17/11/2004 12:51

Twiglett - you really are Jools' twin aren't you!

She's obsessed with QT and it's very strange because not so long ago she was a 'bury your head in the sand' person, as long as she was Ok she didn't mind...NOW, in her frail dotage she can't help getting all involved and opinionated!! V. funny!

Twiglett · 17/11/2004 12:53

oy .. you saying I'm in my 'frail dotage'

thank you though .. I take that as a HUGE compliment .. I think Jools is fab (even is she did bottle feed )

marthamoo · 17/11/2004 12:55

Oooh Jools - I was born at Withington Hospital!

Damn, swore I wasn't posting on these threads - that's not controversial though is it ?

JoolsToo · 17/11/2004 12:57

Twiglett

Marthamoo - OMG - I could have been in the next bed to your mother - I was there 72 74 & 76!

Uwila · 17/11/2004 13:17

Why do we need a program to convince people who want to bottle feed that they should breast feed?

I understand offering support to those who wish to seek it for breast feeding. But, I don't understand how or why we feel it is our place to tell those who have decided to bottle feed that they shouldn't.

Incidentally, my second child is due end of May, and I do intend to give breast feeding a go. So I'm not gung ho pro bottle feeding. I just think this is a personal decision and it isn't anybody place to go chaging other mum's minds about the choices they make.

JoolsToo · 17/11/2004 13:19

Uwila - hallelujah!