why dont younger mums breas feed

[codswallop]

on the whole?
18 year ikd nighbour has just had a baby !) musch to her parents horror.. and isnt even trying to b feeed.
why is this?

Just wanted to reassure Buka that the whole thing with making bottles, sterlilising isn't a faff. But then I had a microwave steriliser and stopped sterilising completely at 6 months. I also got DD drinking bottles straight from the fridge (no need to reheat and much easier to do if baby hasn't got used to unchilled breast milk) and horror of horrors, i'd put ready made bottles in a bag and carry them round all day.

yes, I'm aware of the "risks" but TBH wouldn't look at anything produced by Laleche league on principle.

and thanks Nailpolish

sweetkitty, I thought your story gave a clear account of some of the pressures people can feel not to breastfeed. I have heard this from mothers many times - including the 'selfish' accusation!!

Sometimes, actually breastfeeding in the face of this pressure is a very strengthening thing - mothers who manage to stand up to it find it's good training for other aspects of parenting that 'helpful' people want to stick their noses into

Why wouldn't you look at anything produced by La leche League, marialuisa?

For one thing it will be ridiculously biased

Mieow - we all know you are a great mum who loves her kids. Don't let people upset you with there insensitive comments {{{{{}}}}} Blossomhillxxx

Why do I get myself into these threads....???

I am not a member of LLL, but I do read their materials.

Can you give me an example of something on their website which is ridiculously biased, GdiG?

same reason as me mieow, cos its so addictive. i really must go and do that everest of ironing.................................

just 5 more mins.........................

lol nailpolish!! I must get off here soon, have to take DD2 to preschool

I know what you mean tiktok because people expected me to "fail" (not that I particularly think of it as failing) it made me all the more determined to succeed.

I think it is only the first thing I will come up against as I bring DD up, ATM my mother is horrifed that I haven't given DD any solids yet (she's only 16 weeks) she's thinks I'm starving her (one look at those chubby cheeks convinces me otherwise)!

I wish there was some decent literature made available for all pg women. Something that explained all the choices available, that didn't preach or antogonise or patronise. Le Leche stuff will be biased understandably, and the tone of it may not be to my liking (!) but the content is probably interesting. I wish there was a more general product available (rather than Emma's sodding diary!!!!)

crunchie take a visit to my local maternity hospital. the midwives there work damn hard and long to give all the information available, they are completely unbiased and very supportive.

Sorry guys I do have to laugh at the accusations of not enough support for breastfeeding by the NHS. Jeez every wall is plastered with breastfeeding info when you go for your antenatal appointments, the TV is full of ads, the midwives start the pressure at your 12 week appointment and later, when you ask for advice about bottle feeding - just in case it doesn't work out they refuse point blank. Then, in my case after birth I had no less than FIFTEEN know it all midwives shoving my poor wee babes face in my boobs - and did she get it - did she hll. Then when they get the jitters cos surprise surprise - as you've been telling them she aint taking a drop - they do a VERY painful test for hypoglycaemia or whatever you call it in her foot and repeat the whole process for days, meanwhile cupfeeding what expressed breast milk you can express - which she immediately spits out. They all know best - believe me - that is until they suddenly realise that guess what - some babies just don't get it. OK could have been poor milk or weird tits on my behalf but jeezuz sometimes babies just don't get it - and sometimes one allows the experts to fiddle with you and your baby for longer than you should and then you spend months feeling miserable because you can't breastfeed - literally howling over every bl*dy bottle feed you do and feeling someone's pinching your baby if they do it instead. Guys we put ourselves under enough pressure without yet more well-meaning advice from the professionals and folk on mumsnet who should know better.
By the time I left the hospital ALL 15 of the midwives were saying it just wasn't going to work for me - and no I shouldn't bother trying again when I got home. Then was summarily ejected from hospital with no time to sort out anything about bottle feeding, sterilizing, etc etc. In retrospect think I should have gone home and tried myself without all the HELP. But of course by then my head wasn't straight cos I hadn't eaten for days - every time tried to eat something (tried being the operative word with the foul yuck they produced in hospital) some other well meaning midwife would appear to shove baby to boobs - even though just 5 mins since last one left.
No I don't want more 'help' just a bit of common sense would suit me fine.
Sorry for stream of consciousness.......

There is good stuff available.

The informed choice leaflets for professionals (with tons of references) and for women (the same info but written for consumers and more accessible) are here .

They might be considered 'biased' as they certainly make the health case for breastfeeding pretty clearly, but they do it in a low key and detached way, which I think is appropriate for people genuinely seeking information.

They are a tiny bit out of date, in that they don't seem to have incorporated the 6 mths exclusive guidance, and the pictures of the women in the consumer leaflet show someone wearing floral leggings* that I am sure I gave to Oxfam in about 1997 but the basics are still good.

*The leggings might put today's younger mothers off!!!

Cab, that's not my idea of help and support. It isn't good practise or effective to grab and manhandle you and it's certainly NOT supportive or helpful to tell you not to try again! You did not, IMO have anything like proper, informed breastfeeding support. When I was in hospital after having my ds, I was very determined to breastfeed and got NO support at all - just huge amounts of very distressing (to me) pressure to give formula. EVENTUALLY....I saw a proper breastfeeding counsellor (not a midwife) who assured me that I was producing colostrum and it was OK. Then I went home and things were plain sailing from then on. And I was a very informed older mother who was absolutely determined to breastfeed (can't tell you how much I read and researched beforehand) and I was still bullied into giving formula when I didn't want to.

It might be about the right kind of support rather than the level of support. When I started BFing it was very painful (bleeding nips etc) and all the support I got was regarding the position. I don't think the position was wrong, it was just my nips were not used to be treated so roughly. My mum provided the best advice (for me) not any health organisation.

(Tiktok, LOL at the floral leggings. And why do you have to sit on a table to breastfeed?)

cab, midwives (esp a 15-strong army of them) who shove your breasts and your baby together and manhandle you are not giving you support.

I get pretty cross when I hear these stories - midwives (or more particularly their managers) need to know that 'support' for breastfeeding does not mean pretty pictures backed up with pushing and shoving.

The pushing and shoving makes it less likely the baby will breastfeed happily - there is research on this.

Breastfeeding can sometimes be a delicate, tender learning process, and support for it has to echo this.

There is no excuse for maternity units not knowing this.

Tiktok-because i have a stereotype of a LLL member in my head (based on the whole 2 of them I've encountered) and I believe they have a particular POV which they push and are not actually interested in helping women on an individual basis.

Plus I'm just not interested, I'm arrogant enough to have confidence in the parenting choices I (we) have made.

Kateandthegirls, yes, agree about sitting on a table!!! I mean, is there a more uncomfortable way to do it than that LOL

Message withdrawn

I had the manhandle nipple and stuff into babies mouth treatment too. I know the breast is best campaign is everywhere but something must be going wrong somewhere if so little women don't carry on after a few weeks.

OK, marialuisa....it's good to be confident.

Not so good to reject a whole organisation on what you say yourself is a stereotype.

If the LLL people you met really were not interested in helping women on an individual basis, and yet were trained and qualified as Leaders (that's what LLL counsellors are called) and not just members, then they should not be doing it, of course. I would never defend that sort of 'support'.

CAB you were lucky in some ways that at least they 'tried' to help. My experince was that the women bottle feeding were told 'Oh we'll look after him so you get some sleep dear' and me BF - F ALL, At one point I found myself shuffling down the hall in tears looking for the f'ing steriliser for the nipple shields I had put in there prior to trying to sleep - 36 hs post csection. The midwives just watched me whilst bottle feeding another baby. Someone had moved the steriliser, and all I was offered was a f'ing BOTTLE for my baby. THAT IS NOT SUPPORT. Most people I know felt that had to be so determined to continue breast feeding as it was MW and families who spent most time trying to make it difficult.

No wonder people give up. All I want is help and support for EVERYONE whatever the choice they make. We deserve that at least.

There maybe information available, but the midwives should give you that not some lunatics boring diary of PG symptoms. I shouldn't have to hunt out good information about breast v bottle, a few posters and ads on TV don't explain the facts.

I know babies don't come with a manual, but a simple brochure on feeding choices should be given to EVERYONE at antinatal classes, or just by the midwive at about 24 weeks.