Oh man, I've just read this whole thread and really feeling for you gingerbread...
I think all of us who have found BF really fucking gruelling, whether or not we've stopped or continue, are only a hair's breadth away from each other.
And yes, your mum and your DH might have needed a big MN slapping but let's face it, its ALL our faults and not yours: you - in the middle of all the negativity - did your very best for your particular mummy/baby bond...
...In a society where grown men can't watch a BF mother without muttering Bitty and sniggering; where every health professional you come across shouts 'top up' and 90% of them have no idea how BF works; where no-one sees their relatives BF anymore, and their favourite comment is 'are you still feeding that baby' or 'are you sure you're milk will be good enough'; where antenatal classes just vaguely mutter 'you'll be fine'; where other women undermine you because they're confused, worried about their own bodies; where women are told to feed in the toilets; AND where BF is often fecking painful, long, difficult, demoralising and unsupported - is it any wonder?
And don't get me started... No, Fuck it, I'm gonna get started anyway: add ALL this to a society in which women, and mothers in particular, are supposed to juggle being all-bountifully serene but silent, allproviding as well as slim, sexy and smooth (ha! that was someone's bad joke wasn't it?), while being 'good girls' so their mothers and partners don't feel bad.
sorry to go on, but just wanted to point out, in the circs, there's absolutely no reason for you to feel guilty or ashamed, and absolutely every reason for everyone else to!
That probably doesn't help, and on the personal level, I'd second the idea of getting it off your chest (you and DH could see a Relate counsellor if you're genuinely finding it hard to forgive him?). But please remember, we're encouraged to assume everything is our personal responsibility and 'fault' - some of it is, but most of it happens in a social context...