i was told 3 times by paed. nurse in MRI children's A&E that there was no place for me to breastfeed

[sherazade]

Yesterday when took dd1 to a&e i asked if there was a baby room or feeding room where i could breastfeed my distraught 10 month old. was told 'no'. Is there any baby room? 'no'. Is there just a room with a chair 'No'. this is a childrens outpatient dept. and there is NO feeding room? 'no'. what kind of hospital is this? 'There's a nappy room but its taken'. went to the said nappy room which was just a disgusting toilet with a changing table and it was actually empty. Makes me suspect the nurse was not happy about me bfeeding full stop. Would have been happy to feed dd2 anywhere really but didn't fancy the hugely overcrowded , tinsy winsy waiting room with coughing/puking/ staring patients.
so how do I go about launching a lengthy complaint? whole thing is a bit hypocritical considering there were those silly ' breastfeeding gives my baby the best start' posters stuck on the walls.
I did, however, half an hour later, shout at another nurse a bit hysterically that I needed to feed my baby and that i was told 3 times by the previous nurse that there was no room with a chair, to which she answered 'of course there's a room with a comfy seat for you' and directed me to one!

What is "MRI children's A&E" btw?

Manchester Royal Infirmary I imagine mp.

Oh thank you

I was thinking of an MRI scan which all seemed very specialist

Is there a seperate A&E for children there?

Don't some babies mind distractions at about 10 1/2 months? I bf until 14 months but had to stop feeding him in public from about 4 months as he couldn't concentrate.

I think you should complain

Hi,

my feelings on this are that Sherazade you should write to patients support (or whoever)at MRI and identify the "training issues" you have come across.

I recently visited my local A&E (broke my wrist) and when asking for somewhere to feed my 9m old was shown to and empty resus room. Usually I will feed in public, but really didn't fancy trying to with a sling etc.

Hope you're happier!

There's a special children A&E at St Thomas in London too. It really is a godsend when the baby is ill on Saturday night, and you don't have to share a room with puking drunks.

wow a children's A&E sounds great

Our has a rule that under 7's are prioritised after 6pm, which is Sensible, I think

We are no isolated in what we do. Whether we work or not is an example to our children. How we let our partners and friends treat us and how we treat others matters hugely and how we comport ourselves in public. We have duties as well as rights and I think its a duty of all breastfeeding mothers to consider what message they might be taken to be presenting when they say they want to feed in private. They're saying this a dirty disgusting thing that isn't something I can do with people around. I'm ashamed of my body etc etc Some people will take it as that therefore important mothers don't ask to feed in private and just get on with it (and also recognise the pressures nurses are under, the priorities of a A&E dept to which very non urgent things are taken by loads of people who really should be at the GP and not there and with limited NHS resources.

So yes, you sit down and lift up your shirt. No one sees and the baby is fed immediately. I suppose if you have a religious reason to cover your body or something then it might be oaky to do it in private but even then you could just have shawl that covers you.

Xenia

Please read the previous posts, in which all of your points are carefully and extensively answered and...

Frankly, you're talking bllcks, as if we live in a society where there is no culture, where expectations, feelings, history, don't exist. there are lots of things I'd like to exhort people to do politically to change things, like for example - as you rightly point out - not to feel ashamed of their bodies. But it isn't just that simple because women DO whether you like it or not feel uncomfortable whether or not they SHOULD.

So, if you feel so strongly about it, go and take a sht or have sex in the street and see how you feel? It's just as natural, just as necessary, just as pleasurable. Why don't you? Well, they do in some cultures, just drop your pants and get on with it... No, our culture believes shtting or having sex in the street to be unpleasant and undesirable. That doesn't make it right, or something that should stay the same, it just makes it the way it is...

Now of course BF is a bit different to this and I fully agree with the politics behind your (and Juuule's and MrsS's sentiment). We SHOULD all feel comfortable doing something so natural, and in an ideal world, women would do public BF as part of a campaign.

But while people still stare, comment, tut; and while women, especially new BFers, juggle wriggly babies, big leaking breasts, clothes, sore nipples, lack of practice, pads, toddlers (especially those needing hospital treatment!), unsupportive partners, parents and in-laws, HVs and MWs constantly shoving formula in their faces, doncha think, at the bare minimum, other BF mothers might give them a bit of support for their decisions?

I'm still cross at the way this thread has gone but I'm butting right out now for fear of blowing up (and no, my rationality has NOT been affected by a dismal England performance

Is this still going?

You know Xenia's post just goes to show how farked up our society's breastfeeding culture has become. I think it is shameful that we live in a place where publicly feeding a baby can be viewed as a political act and an 'obligation' that one has one's duty to fufill at all times. Or that people assume that a women who wants a quiet place to feed has issues. Or that all breastfeeding mothers must on all occasions regardless of their individual needs act as fully signed up members of The Political Breastfeeding Ambassadors Smug Club (slogan; I can do it so everybody else should be just like me).

To suggest at the same time that feeding a baby in a public place is no big deal and to then go on and state that women have a political obligation to do so is A TOTAL CONTRADICTION. If breastfeeding is no biggie in any circumstances then it can hardly be such a major political act at the same time can it? Anyway sherazade has already said about a zillion times HER BABY GETS EASILY DISTRACTED.

I have already said on this thread that I am all for normalizing breastfeeding. I think it is perfectly normal to feed wherever you happen to be. I also think it is equally perfectly normal to go and feed somewhere calm and private. IMO both acts contribute equally to the normalizing and accepting of breastfeeding.

Gawd this thread has been illuminating.

Very well put Beachcomber.

Oh this is turning into a real debate...personally, I feel that if your baby gets easily distracted and is very unsettled, getting grizzly (and so on as they do) it shouldn't matter how you feed, BF/FF, you should be able to ask for a quiet area/room to do it.

I have only ever BF for 4m for DS, and 3 1/2m for DD and even when I switched to FF they would be distracted feeding. I wouldn't expect for them to get stressed out trying to have their bottle or my boob.

Thank you moondog.

Have read the whole thread Sherazade and you should definitely complain, in every possible situation and scenario, bf should be encouraged and catered for, but most especially in a hospital.

OMG complain and describe the nasty nurse. I work in a and e and we have a baby room separate to the toilet (would you eat your dinner in a toilet fgs ) if that is full the we can give a bf mum a cubical or room if they are full then we use the family room for relatives of the very sick or dying and if they that is full then I would let a nursing mother use our break room. Sometimes admittedly all are full but eventually you find a space.
When I was bf though I just did it where ever I was regardless of the situation and never had a problem or got stressed.

Sadly we ended up in Bolton Children's A&E last night with our throwing up DD (She is home and though peaky seems much better today, at least holding down breastmilk)

I wanted to give a big thumbs up for the A&E staff.

They not only offered us a quiet cubical to sit in when they saw me walking up and down with a distressed 15 month old baby, in the waiting room.

When the doctor said we should keep her hydrated with clear fluids like water and I mentioned that I would rather breastfed (gives comfort at the same time) both doctor and nurse did not bat an eyelid at us still nursing and said it was a great fluid for a sick child.

Nurse even asked if I would like the curtain closing (double points for asking rather than assuming I needed a private space) and did I need anything else !!!

I NIP anywhere and my baby does not general get dustracted if she is hungry/ in need of comfort, so we were not bothered about the curtain and could cope with the uncomfortable plastic chair.

But this is how the OP should of been treated, with respect and empathy.

Oh and I did ring the PALS department this morning to register a 'compliment' on their excellent service. As in my mind rewarding good behavior is just as necessary as reporting bad.

Good luck on your complaint.

[irrelevant input] Aw Bolton hosp... my children were born there! And DS spent his first 2 months in their SCBU...(I now live 260 miles away..)

Hope DD is better soon. x

We are new to the area, so first visit to the children's A&E...I assume it won't be our last (over the years)

i was born in bolton hospital!

Beachcomber I somehow feel reassured after reading your post. Thank You.
Can you believe it, some of the posts on this thread were making me do silly things like question my dedication to and passion for breastfeeding

Thank you sherazade. You know it strikes me that this thread is a good example of how being over zealous in one's support/views of infant feeding can be counterproductive (and more than a little rude).

I can easily believe that this thread had you asking yourself some questions considering the bizarre bashing you got on it. Shame others don't question themselves quite so easily.

Was lurking wishing I could express my thoughts clearly and powerfully - and Beachcomber has done it for me! respect!

hoper your dd feels better soon be