i was told 3 times by paed. nurse in MRI children's A&E that there was no place for me to breastfeed

[sherazade]

Yesterday when took dd1 to a&e i asked if there was a baby room or feeding room where i could breastfeed my distraught 10 month old. was told 'no'. Is there any baby room? 'no'. Is there just a room with a chair 'No'. this is a childrens outpatient dept. and there is NO feeding room? 'no'. what kind of hospital is this? 'There's a nappy room but its taken'. went to the said nappy room which was just a disgusting toilet with a changing table and it was actually empty. Makes me suspect the nurse was not happy about me bfeeding full stop. Would have been happy to feed dd2 anywhere really but didn't fancy the hugely overcrowded , tinsy winsy waiting room with coughing/puking/ staring patients.
so how do I go about launching a lengthy complaint? whole thing is a bit hypocritical considering there were those silly ' breastfeeding gives my baby the best start' posters stuck on the walls.
I did, however, half an hour later, shout at another nurse a bit hysterically that I needed to feed my baby and that i was told 3 times by the previous nurse that there was no room with a chair, to which she answered 'of course there's a room with a comfy seat for you' and directed me to one!

Lets look at this another way if the baby in need of a feed was formula fed and as the mum was stuck in A&E she had run out of bottled milk.

Wouldn't we all expect the nurses to try their best to see if there was a spare bottle in the maternity unit or something....otherwise that poor baby would not be fed.

This is just a variation on that theme, the BABY needed a quiet location in order to sucessfully take a feed. The nurses should make just as much effort to help this mum, as they would the above mum.

Now if a FF baby was left in A&E with no milk, noone would be critising the mother (rightly so A&E by defination is for emergencies) for moving heaven and earth to feed their child, why should a breastfed mum be told to ignore their distressed child and just get on with it.

Sounds like the first nurse was a bit of a jobsworth. Of course there has to be a chair in a quite spot in A&E somewhere, even if it was one of the offices. Some people lack empathy, when it comes to other peoples problems

All babies deserve to be fed when they need to be, regardless of method of feeding and a stressed A&E unit should be use to that.

Nicely put Babies!

I think you hit the nail on the head!

Don't see how the nurse's attitude can be blamed; there literally didn't exist a quiet private corner to calm down a distressed baby (by any means). It wasn't the harassed and over-worked nurse's fault that such places don't exist. It's the hospital trust or PCT (whatever they're called nowadays) that hasn't planned for these needs, that's who to complain to.

A clean nappy change room without a toilet would have sufficed. But not even that existed. It's an infrastructure problem, more than anything else.

Letting the OP into an office or storage cupboard alone could have compromised private patient confidentiality (if computers or other files kept there), or presented safety and theft issues (if needles, drugs or cleaning chemicals stored there).

"I did, however, half an hour later, shout at another nurse a bit hysterically that I needed to feed my baby and that i was told 3 times by the previous nurse that there was no room with a chair, to which she answered 'of course there's a room with a comfy seat for you' and directed me to one!"

There was a room though.

GAWD i NEVER get involved in the breast bottle threads but a few of the comments have really annoyed me. Particularly Juule

'I'd have fed my baby wherever I was, coughing, puking, staring patients or not. I don't think you need a comfy chair and 'special' room to feed your baby. You just need your baby and your boobs'

ER....NO. And it's just comments like that that put struggling Breast feeders off. I breastfed both mine. I have large boobs and found only the under the arm way of holding was comfortable. I COULD NOT feed my dc standing up, no way. What's more I had a terrible back from my pg and couldn't have stood like that for long even if I wanted to AND I did not like getting my breasts out in front of people...that's my choice. YOu were very fortunate that you could feed your babies wherever, whenever but I have all sympathies with the poster who obviously couldn't.

there were actually FOUR sections in an empty ward, each with a seat and pull aroud curtain. you know for where they go to do quick checks/ consultancy that are needed in privacy? they were all empty when the 2nd nurse took me! this is why i was shocked and believe it is worth complaining about.

the first nurse just didnt look particularly busy/stressed/confused, she looked like she was having a leisurely drink! I did ask her several times in a clear, calm voice, in plain english, just in case she WAS Under too much pressure to be able to understand me. I am convinced she was being deliberately unhelpful.

funny how some people are more sympathetic to the chance that a grown educated woman working in the health sector might be suffering from poor hearing/undue confusion, or overhwleming sadness that disabled her from being just a tiny bit helpful (if she was tooooooo overworked, i would have appreciated just a finger in the right direction to where the rooms were), than to an ill 10 month old in need of a quiet place to have a feed.

Totally agree with MrsS.

Danceswith... so what you are saying is that bfing isn't normal in the way that ff is? that you do need special facilities to bf? Sorry to have annoyed you The op also said that she "Would have been happy to feed dd2 anywhere really but didn't fancy the hugely overcrowded , tinsy winsy waiting room with coughing/puking/ staring patients." So it was more a case of the fact that she didn't fancy feeding in the waiting room.
I also don't like getting my breasts out in front of people but I've never done that despite bfing in front of people. It can be done. To be honest it was easier the times my boobs were larger than when they were smaller. Would you have been feeding a 10m old with an underarm hold? Couldn't you have adapted the hold for one feed?

Hunker - half an hour later a room might have come free that wasn't half an hour earlier.

Babieseverywhere - I think a better analogy might be that of a baby needing a bottle warmed up. I'm sure some of the staff would be happy to accommodate that and some might be stressed enough to snap that they didn't have time.

lljkk - I agree with you that it's the original nurse's attitude and an infrastructure problem. Any complaints should probably be about the a&e dept. being overstretched.

I just find it hard to believe that if someone appeared to be having difficulties with their baby that no member of staff would help. In fact a member of staff did help the op. She just seems narked that her requests weren't seen to immediately.

Indeed Juuule

that Sherezade is not "allowed" to feel the way she did/does

Gosh, I'm a little surprised at some of these posts! Glad I'm not on the receiving end, Sheherezade!

The OP wanted a tiny bit of privacy to feed. Not a lot to ask, really - yes, even in a busy A&E. That, to me, is a perfectly reasonable request. More so, in fact, in a children's outpatient department! Her reasons are irrelevant, and I don't feel she needs to justify them to anyone, even though she has.

That privacy was available all along. An excessively unhelpful nurse chose not to assist, when she could and should have done so.

To withold assistance when it is possible to provide it is wrong. Either the NHS wants to be supportive, or it does not. If it does, it needs to train its staff to be helpful in supporting the needs of breastfeeding mums and babies in situations like these.

Worthy of complaint, Sheherezade, I agree.

Sherazade is neither 'allowed' or 'not allowed' to feel how she does. She feels how she feels whatever anyone may say. Nothing to do with anyone else.
She wanted a little privacy. She got it. She just didn't get it instantly.
It isn't known for definite whether "That privacy was available all along."
The first nurse was not particularly helpful. Whether she could have been is also not definitely known. Whether she should have been ? Some people are more helpful than others, some people have more patience, some people cope with stress better. We are all human and a bit of understanding usually helps.
Worthy of a complaint - yes, possibly, about overstretched a&e resources and how it impacts on staff and patients. Not about how nobody attended to a bfing mother who wanted a private room in a busy dept. and is seemingly outraged because it wasn't forthcoming the instant she asked for it even though they did arrange something later.

Gosh!

And you weren't even there juuule

Juuule has just gone by the op's description as have we all.

Amazing that you've managed to miss the point then

no, I think not

I think so

Quoting Juule: "We are all human and a bit of understanding usually helps."

But not for you in Scherazade's direction, Juule?

Yes we are all human and as I said in a previous post
"I am not unsympathetic to Shezerade's predicament in a&e. Not a great situation to be in with a toddler and a baby to say the least."
But life is usually better if we don't get all indignant and outraged if other people don't jump the minute we shout. Normal common courtesy and manners make life runa lot smoother whether you are a bfing mother or not.
Although I would probably have been worked up at the time, with hindsight and after calming down I would probably have reconsidered complaining about the nurse or the lack of a feeding room. I would however still consider complaining to the hospital about overstretched a&e.
Just a thought, perhaps the second nurse would like to have someone to write a complaint to about being shouted hysterically at.
Cammelia - were you there then?
As MrsS says we only have the op to go on.

Juuule I wonder if cammelia is reading a different op?

Maybe MrsS I would be interested to see what the 'point' is that's been missed in Cammelias view.

Danceswith... so what you are saying is that bfing isn't normal in the way that ff is

HOW ON EARTH DID I SAY THAT???? ARE YOU MAD WOMAN????!

Juuule we're probably too dense to understand

The cafe in my local marks is a 'feeding zone' - most mothers use the less busy part of it if quieter places are available.

Sherezade has explained her point over and over again on this thread

'HOW ON EARTH DID I SAY THAT???? '

Dances - I'm glad you said that. I thought I must have missed something along the way.

Me thinks we will all have to agree to disagree on this one.