Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

[FireworksScareMossyPets]

Thread for those of us whose los are:

• Healthy
• Meeting developmental milestones
• Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
• Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
• Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

Hope the peace and quiet is good and they went off all organised with only teeny amounts of stress! :D

Taken a look at those straighteners - good gadget! I should probably think about getting my hair cut though first at some point! Not had it done since around 6 months pregnant - I look like I have been dragged through a hedge backwards (on a good day) and a really spiky hedge too at that!

Tried avocado as a meal last night and a breakfast this morning incidentally - it seems to have the amusing side effect of filling him up totally all day! ;) He's after sending me even more grey than I am already!!!

Have you tried him with cheesy omlette fried in butter? Loads of calories in that.

Most stressful time ever getting them sorted. I am the coach broke down they left home at 10am fri got to dover at 4pm and one of the coaches broke down! I have have one dd in italy at the hotel and the other isnt even in switzerland yet its gonna be around midnight when they get there. It took 14 hrs to get across the channel because of breakdown!!!

I wish - he's got to avoid dairy (cow, sheep and goat), soya and egg so that limits it somewhat! Mind you, that has made Me hungry now...

Ooof - that journey sounds awful! Hope they are both installed and having fun now despite it all though!

Just a quick update. Mostly good days where we feel that everything is fine - but today is one of those where I'm worrying loads and am just generally down about the fact she's so tiny.

DD is 11 weeks today, and weighing a not-so-fantastic 8pounds 2.5oz. She had started to rack it on with 4oz, then 5.5oz a week after being diagnosed with reflux and being given Infant Gaviscon - but she's started throwing up lots again now, so only 2oz the past week and a bit. We think she's had a cold, poor lamb - but hoping it isn't a sign that the Gaviscon has stopped working -- it made such a difference.

It's just the comments from everyone that get me down. We took her out for some food last week and lots of cooing ladies assumed she was days old. One helpful lady at my work (60 something) said to her, "oooooh, aren't they feeding you enough?" - like WTF! When everyone hears how much she weighs at her age, the next question is, "is she healthy?" - like the inference is that she can't be if she's not growing at the rate they'd expect.

Meanwhile all of our NCT babies are trotting along nicely on their 50th centiles, and our perfectally otherwise healthy LO (developmentally ahead of them all, I should point out) is nestled underneath the 0.4th.

On good days it doesn't bother me, because she grins like a maniac and I love her to bits - but on days like today, I just wish she was a bit more normal Does that make me a bad Dad?

ILD - has her Gaviscon dose been increased as she's put on weight? I have vague memories that it might be quite weight specific. Worth looking at?

ILD my DD is 9mo and still struggling along the 0.4th centile.
I know just what you mean about the comments. I got sick of being asked if she was prem and once even if I had smoked during my pregnancy

I just try to hold on to the nicer comments. People often say she looks like a little doll which I take to be a compliment. Once I heard a little boy ask his mum if she was a real baby or a dolly

I think we should cheer ourselves up with some nice things about little babies:

You can carry them round all day without fear of backache
They actually get a chance to wear all those gorgeous tiny outfits people give you.
They are cheaper cos you don't need to buy a new cot/carseat/pram for ages and ages
They appear fearfully clever as everyone assumes they're younger than they are.

Hi folks, been a while, thought I'd catch up.
ILD, I just checked, and babycarrot weighed 8lb 6oz at 11 weeks. So you are in good company (IMO). I can totally relate to the guilty momentary lapses of thought..."whyyyyyyyyyyy aren't you a little puddin like all the other babies, then I wouldn't have to worry..."

totally normal, of course, to think like that. We don't actually want our babies to be any different from what they are, what we actually are pleading for is a bit more support and confidence building from the HCPs that they are normal and completely perfect.

A rather wonderful BFC that I met a couple of weeks ago has introduced me to the WHO charts for bf babies. This has been quite a revelation, as they are very different from the red book charts, especially as they approach the second half of their first year. Have you seen these, mamadoc? You might find that your lo sits more comfortably inside the lines on these!

And as for babycarrot. Well, after gaining an average 1oz a week from before Christmas up until the beginning of feb, she weighed 9lb 10 oz on Feb 1st, at 27 weeks old. She has, however, taken to solids rather well. By which I mean, over the last 19 days she has gained.............

..........24 ounces!!!!
that's one and a half pounds!!!!
in 19 days!!!!

She is now 11 lb 2oz, which feels HUGE to me

What can I say. The girl likes her food.

'course, I'm having to deal with the subliminal thoughts of why she didn't gain this way on my milk alone. But I'm parking that for now, as I'm so relieved that she's shooting back up and may even, at some point, hit the bottom centile again.

Hurrah!

Hi ILD! we're at 10.5 weeks and 8lbs 3oz (nerr nerr my dd is 0.5lbs bigger than yours ha ha! ) so i know exactly where you are coming from. and if you're a bad dad then i'm a bad mum...

we keep getting the "little doll" comments as well, i have to say i don't really like it! but think that's just cos i'm so defensive.

where is the [fatty] smiley for vlc?!! hee hee!

ILD whatwas your dd's birthweight?

Hi guys,

Haven't been on this thread for a while but Just had to pop in to say a big congrats to VLC for such a splendiferous weight gain I'm so pleased for you, now you can start to relax and enjoy your lo...but please tell me I'm doing the right thing by not weaning bella early, am getting lots of pressure from people in RL to feed her some 'real' food I was hoping to wait till 26 weeks...just 5 to go!!

Well, Bella is in the 13 pound zone at 20 weeks and seems to put on average about 3/4 oz a week and is following the 9th centile.

I keep getting the 'little doll' comments and 'dinky' ones too which I don't really like either, but because shes been rolling since 3 months and is starting to try to crawl backwards I also get...ooh isn't she advanced, because she looks so small to be doing such physical stuff!

Anyway I'm looking forward to the magic 26 week mark where hopefully I will get to fatten Bella up babycarrot style

xx

oh, forgot to say I had another ping the other day...your advice is/was the best I've ever had on mumsnet as I'm sure I would have given up breastfeeding if I'd gotten mastitis on top of all the other feeding problems we've encountered, so thanks again VLC!!

laksa at your kind words! Well done with the ping. At some point I'm going to persuade someone clever to do a research paper on pings, because you never hear about them as a cause of blocked ducts, but I do wonder if they are much more common than we think. One keeps hearing it's all about poor latch and inadequate drainage, or oversupply etc. I'm not convinced this received wisdom is always true.

And YES you are doing the right thing to wait until 26 weeks. There is no benefit to weaning early that I can see, but there is a quantifiable riskif you do wean early between 4 and 6 months.

At 6 months babycarrot has got to grips with solid food so quickly it has stunned me. I wanted to do BLW, but have succombed a bit to pressure and spoon a bit in too, although she is VERY clear about when she wants more, and when she has had enough, so still "baby led". I let her grab the spoon, and she is pretty competent with finger foods too (have you seen the profile pics?).

I'm astonished with the weight gain. She eats like a horse. And the poos...oh, the poos...

You have all this to come!

was just doing some lazy lurking...(have a 'little doll' myself)...and who do i stumble upon...but BEAUTIFUL babycarrot! she is yummy!

How nice, beans, thanks!
And now there is an extra pound and a half of her to drool over. I am one lucky mummy.

have seen babycarrot pics, she is one beeauutiful mucky puppy

I am hoping to do the babyledweaning thing but was going to 'help' her out every now and then also. Can I ask what you started babycarrot on first...so many different foods, I just can't decide what should be her first bite

xx

oh, forgot to say with regards to pings
I sometimes wonder whether I have got baby bella's latch right. Like babycarrot she feeds quite frequently and I just wonder how much work she actually does to get my milk ie does she just take the letdown and then stop when the flow is too slow for her to be bothered to drink much more? This could account for our blocked ducts and slow weight gain...just wondering out loud. I also wonder how many people get mastitis due to blocked nipple duct as opposed to a blockage further up...quite sad if it is a high proportion as I know of a few people who gave up breastfeeding in the first couple of months due to mastitis

Caz10, she was 6 13oz at birth (full-term) - and (as of today at about 12 weeks) she's now 8 5oz (3oz last week) - which means she's the dinkiest of all at the moment Of course, in all other respects lovely and healthy, etc...

laksa, DW's name is Bella - it's a cutey, you've chosen well!

VLC, thanks for the update so much - reading your story on this thread helped DW and I amazingly when we were finding it tough (and there are still days). It's great to hear that she's racking it on now! But makes me think about weening before 6 months though (which is something we've been mulling over already) We know the pros & cons, but I've kinda suspected for a long time that her feeding patterns from the breast might be the reason for slower weight gain - I dunno.

Have a very supportive HV though, so might not need to, but if GP/HV starts to get arsey, I can see it happening...

ILD, whatever you choose to do about weaning, you'll have probably done all your reading up and anguished over the decision too, I know. But don't let yourself be pressured into doing something against your better judgement, even though you are worried. My paed told me to wean early, but I just didn't want the burden of knowingly taking a risk, and I think I knew, deep down, that waiting was right for us. As it stood, when I did introduce solids, babycarrot took a few days to work out how to overcome the tongue thrust reflex and then she was developmentally ready to eat. I suspect that any earlier, and she wouldn't have been developed enough, and would have kept thrusting food out of her mouth anyway.

I do understand the pressure. But WE are the ones that live with our decisions, not the HCPs who will not lose any sleep if their advice results in an allergy, asthma, or a tummy upset or whatever. They won't agonise over what is right, and they won't probably research those decisions like we will either.

You have plenty of time before you need to worry about weaning, so take your time making that decision. Keep your nerve - you are doing superbly well!

hi all! ILD what are your dd'sd feeding patterns? unlike vlc and laska my dd is not a frequent feeder (apart from evening cluster feeding)and i worry that is part of the problem - however it's nigh on impossible to get her to feed when she doesn't want to.

I was feeling a bit happier this week - dd had gained 9oz in a fortnight, and everything i read says 4-6oz a week is adequate. however the gp is telling me to topup, and is getting quite forceful about it.

vlc are there any books/sites re weaning you would recommend? i know it's a long way off but i felt caught on the hop re all our bf issues, want to be more prepared for the next stage.

also cuold anyone help me out on any resources that detail developmental milestones? i know that at some point i'll want to be able to say to my formula-peddling gp "look, she can do x,y and z!" but i'm not sure what she should be doing and when?

Caz - definitely start checking out the weaning threads here on mn, and check out Aitch's site on baby led weaning. BLW is a really relaxed approach to weaning, and if you wait until 6 months then the baby can pretty much eat anything you eat without restricting foods like gluten, eggs, citrus, yadda yadda... as well as letting babycarrot feed herself finger foods like toast and rice cakes etc, I am actually spooning in a bit for her, as I said before, but that's probably a pragmatic approach to take with a pixie baby, and it's working really well for us so far (touch wood).

When I was all irate about the paed daring to suggest slow motor development - pah - I googled a bit. Can't vouch for whether these are widely accepted standards, but I found this.

I think I need to do a bit of lurking on the development boards too!

HTH

Thankyou ILD, we like to call her Bellabee penelope for short Poor child is going to get very confused when she is older!! I also wish my baby looked a more normal size for her age but I think its natural to feel this because every time someone makes a comment its like they are questioning our fitness as parents...it can hit us right where it hurts as we want to do the best we can for them. I don't mind so much now because I've realised that Bella is my unique, bright, active, healthy baby girl....she's also a bit of grump sometimes but thats another story

I've also noticed that there are an incredible amount of babies in my area on the 90 plus percentile...this probably makes even babies on the respectable 25th look a little teeny in comparison

Caz10, I know the book 'what to expect in the first year' has developmental milestones month by month in its chapters but not sure about links to resources on the net. Don't get too hung up about your lo hitting all the milestones as guide that she is ok...my baby has been rolling since she was 3 months old but I have a feeling that she is going to take a while to sit up as she is nowhere near doing so. They do what they are interested in and all learn to walk in the end!

xx

BTW Caz
That sounds like a fantastic gain to me. You have two choices re your GP.

1. Smile, nod, ignore
2. Calmly state that his (her?) advice is contradictory to that of other medical and bf professionals, and so you will take it under advisement.

You mentioned you've had some RL bf support; is ther a bfc prepared to stand in your corner and back you up with the GP?

Hey, BTW, babycarrot has been sitting up unassisted in the last 2 days. Woohoo for us, and pfffftt to the paed!

But although she has rolled over once or twice, she is simply not fussed about the rolling over malarkey. The girl knows what she likes, and that's that.

Caz,

Well she was feeding almost non-stop (or so it felt for DW) but since being diagnosed (or suspected) with reflux and being put on infant gaviscon, they've spaced out quite a bit. If she's awake, she tends to feed roughly every hour to 2 hours, but she'll occasionally (oh boy, very occasionally) nap for 3 hours.

At night, we make sure we wake her every 4 hours for a feed, of which one of them is EBM, and she is taking about 7oz in one sitting then.

The weight gain did pick up to 5.5oz one week, but tends to average 60-100g (2-3 oz). She's currently off the bottom of the graph under the 0.4th

we are not much further up ILD . You might find she really picks up now though with the Gaviscon? Good luck!

vlc - wooo! well done! thanks for the links - I also found these:
WHO motor dev milestones just so i can obsess more and more as time goes by...

oh and keep meaning to ask...

other than it not keeping the HV happy, what if any are the actual problems with a baby being smaller than average? no-one has yet explained to me what risks dd's tinyness brings with it...