Mighty oaks from little acorns grow - slow weight gain support thread

[FireworksScareMossyPets]

Thread for those of us whose los are:

• Healthy
• Meeting developmental milestones
• Producing plenty of soaking wet nappies
• Producing several pooey nappies (quantity varies after first six weeks or so)
• Gaining weight...

but just much more slowly than the centile charts tell us they should.

This is a thread for help, support and understanding from other Mums who have "been there, done that".

It's where we can share links, share our stories and what if anything we have done to help our lo's weight gain - or whether we've just ditched the scales and looked at the baby.

However, we also don't want to lull other Mums into a false sense of security; if your lo is not meeting the criteria at the top then it is best to get help from a breastfeeding counsellor (or general infant feeding specialist - not all slow gaining babies are breastfed) or supportive health care professional.

Mossy xx

OMG "gold top and skimmed"? From a GP?!

The mind boggles.

Welcome to the thread Annabanana. I think your GP's comment ranks up there with "drink milk to make milk" and other such ridiculous comments!

As Pesha says you can give medicines like infant Gaviscon in a syringe, if that is definitely needed. In my (admittedly limited) experience though, some babies are just very sicky though and others aren't, and it doesn't necessarily link in with the slow weight gain. My ds was very sicky until he was about five / six months old at which point it started to subside by itself.

In terms of average weight gain, normal (for term babies, I don't know about prem) is between about 4 and 8 oz a week iirc. And these are averages, so perfectly possible for babies to gain less (or more) than this and still be gaining within "normal" parameters.

If you're seeing a bfc then I would suggest keep seeing her and do what VLC says about the paed. Also I second the suggestion of co-sleeping, as long as you don't smoke as it may be linked to SIDS. (You're not supposed to drink alcohol either in case it makes you too drowsy to respond to having your baby in the bed.) Oh and there are other guidelines like having a firm mattress, and not using heavy bedding etc.

Mamadoc lol at selling your soul to AK! Then again, I'm selling my soul to GR and Aitch!

Hi Anna,

DD was not prem but did spend time in SCBU so I know how hard it is to establish bf whilst you are separated- really well done.

I'm afraid DD fed 2hrly round the clock for a couple of months but then she started to go a bit longer at night. I was too chicken to co-sleep so coped by literally doing nothing else but bf and sleep. Enlisted friends and family for cleaning, meals etc. I found people are very understanding especially those who've been there.

Really hope you get someone on your side like the bfc as its hard not to doubt yourself in the face of crap advice like your GPs.

ANNA!! ARe you me?? I had Callum at 6 weeks early he was 4lb 8oz, in hospital for 10 days. Didnt gain weight for weeks. he dropped off the chart at 7 weeks. and stayed below the line for 5 weeks. He is now 16 weeks and weighes 9lb 5oz, but only with the help of some high energy formula. I breastfeed him and top up once a day, was twice a day until last week. I didn't want to give him formula, I fought it until 5 weeks ago, when I nearly had a breakdown. Some prem babies need more calories, but we hope to drop the 100mls of formula soon and get back to full bf.

anna here are my threads

1st one

2nd one

3rd one

4th one

SOme are very long sorry.

Hi and thanks for the instant encouragement, I felt so much better reading it all. Sparkly - thanks for the links - we do have very similar experiences - I learnt a lot from all the threads. And I'm glad people were so shocked by my GP, I was horrified and I felt like I might be overreacting.

We had another weigh in today and he's gained 2oz in 4 days - not bad, still following the very bottom line of the chart. But the best bit was that the HV finally said I was doing well and should keep going! And told me to go back to the GP for infant gaviscon as I could give it another way, not by bottle. Some progress... so I'm feeling better all round. Still no news of the paed appt, I'm hoping it takes a while to come through so he's put on loads of weight and proof that the BF isn't a problem.

Thanks again, hope its ok to keep you updated - I'd appreciate the support .
Anna

well done Anna. You are doing great Glad your HV is being supportive. I have a very supportive HV and BF HV, but as you read I had problems with the SCBU nurse and consultant. But being told you are doing well is what you need to hear sometimes.

Anna nice to hear you report back and glad to hear things seem to be on the up, and it's good to hear your HV being supportive! Glad SGK's threads were a help!!

Hi Anna

2oz in 4 dasy seems like good progress to me. And great to have support from your HV. I used to get you're doing great, always followed by BUT...do you think it might be time to try formula/solids NO!!

Wold be great to have you keep posting here

Never made it to the clinic again today, didnt have time to get there and back between his nap and school run. Car is fixed now though so will drive next week. He is still not a chubby baby but his face has filled out a lot, cant believe how skinny he looks in some of the photos of him when he was little. And he seems long and has a big head! Has outgrown all his 6-12 month hats I imagine he's somewhere around the 9th line now which I expect is where he'll stay now.

Pesha my ds has a huge head too! He is nine months, still wearing 3-6 months clothes for the most part, but is in age two hats!!!

Hi there

After lurking on this thread for quite long enough, I've decided to join in. My daughter is 25 weeks old, exclusively BF and when I went to the clinic last Wednesday, weighed 11lb 8oz (so hopefully a little more now..) I don't actually know what centile she's on but I'm sure it's fairly low.

We've been through similar experiences to other posters. When her weight-gain slowed around 3 months I was told to top-up with formula by the HV(which I resisted)who then referred me to a GP (who only confirmed what I already instinctively felt - that she was absolutely fine, just small and to carry on BF with no formula top-ups.)

I realise I've been fortunate that the GP was pro-breastfeeding as I was so upset and worried at the time that I was somehow failing my baby. It was just so very confusing... here was a baby who fed regularly and enthusiastically, was happy and satisfied, looked healthy, had plenty of wet and dirty nappies, slept brilliantly and yet she wasn't gaining 'enough'.

Anyway, she's gaining 'enough' (12oz this month) now to satisfy them at the clinic and I now only go to get her weighed once a month at the most. The only issue now are the comments from strangers. Typical one was on Saturday when in prep for weaning, we bought a highchair in the sales..

Shop assistant: "she's never five and a half months. She's TINY!!! Here! (calls across the shop to her colleague)look at this baby, she's nearly 6 months! Like a little doll isn't she?!"

This thread really has been a great support in being able to smile during moments like the above. People don't mean to be tactless but so many are! I used to feel like the only mum who ever had a small baby.

Wildstrawberries - glad you're finding this thrhead a help. Its amazing how people feel they can comment like that isnt it?! I get alot of those sort of comments, especially at the school when collecting the older 2. Along with oh are you still bfing and isnt he on solids yet?! (He is now btw but I used to get that when he wasnt!). Similarly though I know a few people with particularly big babies and people are just as tactless commenting about them too, seems theres no pleasing some people if your LO is anything other than 'normal'. MN really is fab support though isnt it?

Have just looked at my profile pics again and quite shocked at how skinny D looked at 24 weeks and 7 weeks. Although he looks like Phil Mitchell in one of the newborn photos!!

RTP - at 2 year hats, D's new hat is 1-3 and fits ok but with room to grow still. Have trouble with some tops too if they dont have buttons on the neck. D is in 6-9 or even some 9-12 month clothes now but only because he's long and seems to have quite long arms. Have a bit of trouble with the waists on some things though. Looked at your profile too (which is why I looked at mine again, to compare heads! ) and your ds is ever so cute! How old is he in the top pic?

Wildstrawberries, welcome to our thread! Glad you are finding it a help. Sometimes you feel like making excuses for your lo when you get comments like that, like, "oh his Dad's only tiny," and then you feel guilty for making excuses for your baby as if they weren't perfect enough...

I think people mean well but I think they can be insensitive without realising.

It's good your GP is supportive.

Pesha, that top photo (is that the one of me cuddling him and he has a spoon in his mouth?) was taken only a fortnight ago. Your D is very cute too! Yes, I have trouble with tops if there are no buttons. I think he may soon be ready for 6-9 months (at nine months old) as he is in cotton nappies which are a bit bulkier.

I posted on here before Christmas, as dd2 was not gaining weightvery well.

Christmas came and went and we had the usual houseful of people, which was great as it meant there was always someone to give dd2 an extra snack, or hand over more food etc. she has been eating loads, and I really mean loads for the last couple of months, and she is still not putting on weight.

As an example, today she has had:

0730 huge long breastfeed (and feeding well throughout - no faffing around for her! must have been feeding for 30 mins or so (big gulps fairly constantly for whole time))

0830 porridge (rice and millet porridge) made with rice milk, with about 1/2 pot fruit puree stirred in + raisins. Then a big handful of cereal (quinoa cheerio equivalent).

1130 big bowl of tomato & lentil soup with slice of GF bread stirred in (hard to quantify, but about twice what her 3yo sister had). Then a banana. then a humzinger fruit bar (I know they're not great, but she caught me on the hop expecting more). Then an ella's house smoothie (frantically raiding dd1's lunchbox items to satisfy starving baby)

great, I thought - she must be doing well packing all that away.

Took her to the clinic, and, at he grand old age of 48 weeks she weighs 15lb 9oz.

I was sure she had put on a decent amount of weight (been about 10 weeks since she was weighed. She has put on 10 oz.)

HV now muttering a bit more insistently about referral to paed etc.

I'm not very worried about her (aside from wobbles in confidence when professionals look concerned) - she is bright and happy, crawling well, beginning to pull to standing etc. She is cheeky and a bundle of trouble. She does get quite tired and needs a lot of sleep, but could be due to her being incessantly nosy!

What types of food can I give her that are higher in calories. She is not a great fan of bananas (can get the odd one past her), nor of avocadoes. she is gluten and dairy free due to family history with allergies, and will remain so for a while longer. Babies do need higher fat diets - will she get htis from bf? (she has 3 feeds a day, morning, afternoon and night - all good feeds)

I already do the rounds of hospitals with appts for dd1 (ASD) so really don't need to add in more appts for dd2 if I an help it!

I had my 8 mth dd weighed and she is now 11lb 15oz is b/f about a million times a day and only food that passes her lips is toast or yorkshire pudding! she wont have a spoon/bottle/dummy /cup near her and Hv asked would I like to see a dietician/peadatrician to see would that help??? I declined the offer but said thanks anyway as my eldest was 17 on monday and have 2 teenage girls and strange as it may seem they are all still alive, healthy etc.

btw I was very proud to have to go buy her some new clothes lol up to 14lbs from next a little big but she will grow

Having DD weighed again on Thursday and she hasn't pooed now for 11 days. It's just sod's law that she'll do it on Thursday morning just before the weighing, isn't it?

ILD - Have you had dd weighed? How'd it go? Did she poo this morning?!

Yup, she's put on (drum roll) - 2oz this week Which given that it's been 1oz a week for the past 4 weeks, is something of a triumph. AND that's even better when you factor in the big poo (13 days worth) that she had yesterday (!). So all in all, as good as we could hope for.

She's still on the 0.4th but HV was pleased and said that we should keep doing what we are doing and resist anyone who suggests supplementing with formula (I think she's a good'un).

So, DD is 7 4oz now, at 7 weeks.

Starting to cop all kinds of pressure from friends/family to give her formula now though I almost cracked and suggested it to DW yesterday too (DW is just so shattered as LO doesn't like sleeping AT ALL during the day, and won't settle in the evening) - and she just seems to be hungry all the time. She's also relatively crap at feeding (despite good latch, checked over by BF counsellor) in that she's all sucks and swallows for 5 mins, then either purposeless sucking or sleep. We've tried breast compression but doesn't seem to do anything. But she'll wolf down 5oz of EBM in 10 mins without breaking sweat.

I mean, there is a limit to how many times you can strip her down or change her nappy just to make her carry on for another couple of minutes. Especially when she wants feeding, like, all the time

Any ideas?

Can I join this thread?

My dd1 was born on 1st of January. She weighed 2880. A week later she had lost 240g and then put on 60g.

Thought she was feeding like a trooper but HV just weighed her and she's lost 20g and is still 200g under birth weight. I've been told to feed every two hours, stop expressing, eat more and top uo four times a day with formula.

Feel absolutely awful. She looked so healthy I was sure she had gained wieght.

i wouldnt top up if i were you

Er I'm abit lost with the weights in grams I'm afraid But my ds2 didnt regain his birthweight till around 4 weeks, just after I think.

Do you feed on demand? How often does she want to feed?

Sounds ridiculous to be told to top up 4 times a day with formula at such an early stage. (Not saying its a ridiculous thing to do if thats what you want to do, but if you dont it seems like an unnecessary suggestion iyswim). Are you getting lots of wet and dirty nappies?

Have to get dc to bed, will come back later. Might be worth starting your own thread in breast and bottle feeding for some advice too, Tiktok is excellent and helped me so much as did several others!

Susie, welcome!

Please do start your own thread (AND stay on here too, of course) so that tiktok will give you some expert advice.

In the meantime some NON-expert advice:
Are you feeding on demand? Even every two hours may not be enough if your baby is giving cues earlier than this. It can be exhausting in the early days, but it does get easier, I promise. My lo was sometimes almost constantly attached in the first few weeks, it's how they build up your supply. Nobody tells you that, do they? I can remember saying "she can't be hungry - I just fed her 10 minutes ago" so many times.!

Learning to feed lying down can save your strength immensely. And lots of skin to skin will help stimulate things.

It's important to get your latch and positioning checked by REAL experts, (and sadly, midwives and HVs are generally not good at this at all, despite what you'd expect) to make sure that the baby is transferring milk properly. This is what is needed for your baby to gain weight, (and also to keep your nipples pain free!)

4 top ups of formula, in my opinion, may do great damage to your milk supply at this very early stage. I'm sorry, but your HV is very likely wrong. If she isn't getting enough milk, the solution is to fix that - ie better latch/ milk transfer, more frequent feeds, build supply through milk removal, baby stimulating breasts.

Every bottle of formula you give is basically telling your body - "see me? this is how much less milk you need to make, because I'm taking care of these ounces"

So your body makes that much less. At a time when your milk supply is fragile, because it's early days. Which is often the beginning of the end of bf in many cases.

Trust in your body to meet your baby's demands, it will if you let it.

You don't need to panic, this CAN be fixed, it's early days. Is she pooing and weeing, and showing all signs of being healthy?

Hey, and CONGRATULATIONS, by the way!
On your new baby, and on breastfeeding!

vlc

ILD

your lo sounds so much like mine, you know!

congrats on the 2oz!

thanks for responses. the HV's advice makes no sense to me - as you say.

i'm going to the local bf support group tomorrow.

unfortunately, dh is supporting the HV. there's some tension here!

i'm feeding every two hours but it's really hard because she doesn't really want it and i feel like i'm force feeding her. maybe she'll get into it. this is the part of the HV's advice i'm willing to give a go. dh is going to insist on the formula. when she had it in hospital it gave her terrible bwind and she puked most of it.

i hate this and feel like i haven't a leg to stand on as she lost weight when i used only bm.

she is otherwise perfectly healthy. poo and wee v.good!

will start own thread tomorrow on your advice.

p.s pesha - she was 6lb 6 at bith now 5lb 14