So is it just me who has viscerally negative reactions to talk about breastfeeding 4 or 5 year olds

[TwigorTreat]

Now look I know its different strokes for different folks and I am not judging anyone as I know logically that its fine and anyone who does is doing what they deem their very best for their own children.

But I am talking about a experiencing a sense of distaste that I cannot help. I do have a negative and almost physical reaction to the thought of breastfeeding my 3 year old let alone an older child. And I have discussed this before when it came to extending breastfeeding for my own child beyond 6 months and with the discussion was capable of making it past that psychological barrier to 11 months.

Perhaps the thought of having a reasonable discussion over this particular reaction is just a step too far for us on Mumsnet. But I thought I'd give it a go anyway .. what, with it being Saturday and all that.

Anyone who experiences the same sense of negativity will no doubt need to gulp down hard before adding to this discussion. Just as anyone who is on the 'other side of the fence' will need to take copious amounts of oxygen into their system to calm down before posting .. I hope both sides do though... it could be interesting and educational

Have read rest of thread and am heartened.

I started a thread yesterday that will be of interest to some on this thread, I think it's here

Hunkywunky, dont cry lady.

I'm not crying.

I'm not exactly smiling though.

I am interested to know who JV was referring to as the only non-neurotic extended bfer though. It had better be me...

Well, I naturally assumed it was me

Course you did.

As did every extended bfer on MN, I bet

do any of you breastfeed your 2/3/4/5 year olds in public?

I don't have a 2/3/4/5 yo to bf in public

Mine's 21mo. He rarely asks for a bf in public, but if he wants to be bfed, I do it. Nobody's ever said anything to me. But then I do have Lovely Breasts.

I have done when ds was still b/feeding.

Didnt crop up often though because as they get older, they rarely b/feed throughout the day.

Oh hunker don't be sad.

I bf aforementioned 2.5yo on a train today.

(small hijack) I still owe you an emsil each, hunker and vvv. I haven't forgotten

emsil? sounds like a cough mixture. email

Bero, I think you've been A Bit Busy - I certainly understand! Hope DS2's OK now.

He is fine, thanks still watching him like a hawk, particularly as the rest of us all have colds again, but he really did recover well.

(Am hoping he will be like ds1, who remained completely well when dh got bronchitis and I got something similarly hideous when he was 8 weeks. Put it down to the bf )

vvvqv when did your dc self wean?

btw how weird is it that it's now 1:09 again! v confusing.

Well done for starting this thread Twig and it's nice to see that many contributed in a sensible way.

I feel exactly like you. I'm not confortable with breastfeeding past a certain stage although I can not give a definite cut off point. If a child is weaned to solids, has teeth and drinks milk from a cup and can run about and help himself (or ask) when thirsty, it feels odd. My personnal maximum would be about 18months.

I stopped breastfeeding my DS when he was 6 months because I had low supply. Since then I learned a lot about breastfeeding on this website and I''m gratefull for all the mums who fully support breastfeeding and thus help novices like I was.
I hope to breastfeed longer this time but will definitely not agonise and be made to feel like a bad mother when I stop this time round.

I just wish some of you would stop this superior attitude.
Twig and other like minded people are just as entitled to our opinions (and sharing them here) as you are.
We are no less offended than you when you imply (sometimes quite overtly and offensively) that we are not making the best choice for our little ones.

I think, for me at least, it is one of those things that I thought before I had kids. But when I was nursing DS as a toddler, there was nothing remotely about it.

I can't imagine breastfeeding a 5 yr old. But, if that's the way things worked out then I suspect I wouldn't feel it uncomfortable with it.

I don't suppose people plan to breastfeed their children until they are 4 or 5 - I expect in most cases, it just happens because it works for them.

I am too bloody tired to respond to slim's reference to the 'superior' attitude of BFers right now. But could not leave it without comment.

First my credentials. I fed both of mine until they chose to stop. Dd was 3, ds was 11months (despite me practically forcing the breast on him yelling "feed you little so and so - I'm a philosophically committed extended breast feeder -you can't stop NOW!)

But I was just thinking - I don't know of another animal species that doesn't actively stop their young feeding when they are physically ready to do so - even if they still want to. Am I wrong?

And yes, I do think that extended breast feeding doesn't mean suspension of manners. A tiny baby needs to be fed at the moment it asks, but with my dd, I would not allow her to pull my top up whenever she wanted. Once she was verbal it became a matter for negotiation - we both had to be happy.

Just read whole thread.
Where is the superior attitude?
I have missed it.
I formula fed (reluctantly) and have been on my fair share of these threads
If you had been here three years ago you would have really known what a superior attitude was

My view of toddlers breastfeeding is neither here nor there but the most obvious point is: why do you care? Any of you that are uncomfortable with it...why bother thinking about it? You are not expected to do it, you can't seriously think it's abusive (after all, much of the developing world has a healthy enough attitude to it, without any obvious sexual link there), so why comment?

totally agree with seeker and pruners

well said seeker. i used to feed ds 24months on train and his feet would be 2 seats down from me! Was quite bullish about it and would stare down anyone who dared to meet my eye.
\
|But with dd the same age I was slightly more forgiving of others' responses. Slightly...

I like being agreed with

I said in my post that my opinion was neither here nor there
However I would like to give it
I think b/f an older toddler/child/whatever is gorgeous
Part of that is tied up with my own attitude to breastfeeding: thwarted ambition, perhaps.
And a good chunk of it is seeing how animal we are. It never occurred to me before having a child that being an animal would be the most pleasing part of childrearing. We're so out of touch with what we are, the layers of culture make us so heavy-handed and cause much hand-wringing and sneering. Shame (on us).

that's so true pruners - it is the animal thing that's so amazing.
Only other time we're animals is in the throes of passion - and then we go back to being cultured humans. but with parenting its kind of all the time.. Amazing.

Not sure I'd like being an animal, with the fear that my babies might be eaten by a bigger animal or sold or whatever. I'm not even sure that their maternal instict is comperable to ours. My inlaws dog had 11 puppies, which she breastfed with enormous patient for the first x (can't remember weeks). Then she had enough and pushed them (gently) away.