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Infant feeding

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Breastfeeding rates in the UK

95 replies

Cash02 · 03/01/2021 03:57

Hi I want to start this by saying, this isn’t a breast is best post etc. I literally have no qualms against formula, wouldn’t dare shame a mother for using formula, this is purely curiosity.

I’ve been breastfeeding for almost 7 months, I’ve had all the shaming, all the weird looks as you can imagine, had people tell me to cover up etc. I find it so odd.

Why do you think that breastfeeding rates are so low? Especially in the uk and young mums, being one myself.

I will say the support I received has been shocking, I had a c-section, breastfed straight away, DD seemed to have a good latch, but I was in agony, bleeding nipples everything, they sent a breastfeeding consultant down, told me ‘the latch was fine so I don’t know’ then left, and I’ve seen the health visitor once. I had an amazing midwife come over after I left hospital who helped me fix my positioning which helped, probably wouldn’t still be breastfeeding if it wasn’t for her, however I was alone from then.

Are there any other reasons that you think, as a formula mum or breastfeeding mum, that discourages women so much?

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WobbliHead3000 · 03/01/2021 04:07

I don’t think the culture we have is very helpful to parents that want to breastfeed, this is seen more in certain groups/socio-economic backgrounds.
In my, albeit limited experience, the “middle class” mums I met (NCT/Paid baby groups/clubs) were mostly very pro breastfeeding long term, whereas the more regular “working class” mums (nhs prep class/free council run groups) were more likely to bottle feed or give up breastfeeding quicker. I only have one child so this is clearly not extensive research.

In response to the latch issue, I think mums need to be taught that breastfeeding actually does hurt. Your nipples are not used to that and it will take a while to... all this “it only hurts if you’re doing it wrong” is bollocks. If we were given a realistic idea about what to expect I think it would be better. What we currently have is a romanticised version which isn’t helpful or real. Many women stop because they think they can’t or are doing something wrong when really, it’s just part of the process.

Cash02 · 03/01/2021 04:15

The economic point really makes sense, I’m working class, as working class as you can get really, in the few groups I’ve been to over these lockdowns, they very much assume you formula feed and was given strange looks for breastfeeding there.

Also good point on the pain, I expected it to hurt but I wasn’t told my nipples might scab over and I’d literally lose the top layer of my nipple. As a 18 year old who’s never held a baby it was terrifying. They never told me that it’s okay and gave me advice...nothing. I was there thinking I was doing something wrong, changing positions really helped but, it eventually passed. The lack of support must be a huge factor.

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namechangefail2020 · 03/01/2021 04:41

I find it crazy when I hear stuff like that. Never have I ever had anyone say anything negative about my breastfeeding. Must be in certain areas I guess but it just wouldn't happen where I am.

Cash02 · 03/01/2021 04:48

I guess it’s the area I’m from, I’ve never seen another woman breastfeeding. It’s quite lonely sometimes.

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Mintjulia · 03/01/2021 04:58

I received no help from the NHS on breastfeeding, and a locum GP diagnosed oral thrush in my DS but didn't mention that I would need medication too. She just left me to suffer.

I managed 18 months with the help of an NCT adviser and the advice of our local cowman! ( No, I'm not joking, infinitely more accurate and well informed than the locum gp) Grin

And you wonder why rates are so low!

Oreservoir · 03/01/2021 05:03

I breastfed, 30 years ago, my dmil was very adverse to it.
Imo it should be much better supported by health professionals.
I agree about the pain though. Breastfeeding is a learned skill like any other and it takes patience and perseverance.

GlennRheeismyfavourite · 03/01/2021 05:05

Agree with everything Wobblihead says - it does hurt, being told it doesn't is nonsense- you just have to get through it and we need to be more honest about that with new Mums. Amongst my social circle (very middle class) by far the majority of mums breastfeed, I've never had any criticism or negative comments at all, in fact I'd say it's the formula Mums who (wrongly) almost seem apologetic for doing it. I'd also say it's a familial thing - my sister fed her three and I always grew up knowing my mother fed us so I always just expected that's what was normal!

Bikingbear · 03/01/2021 05:05

History and culture.

Breast feeding has never been easy, hence the wealthy employed "wet nurses".
During WW2 the government pushed formula, including National Dried Milk. Partly because of poorly nourished mums but it also meant babies could be cared for in nurseries freeing mums up to work.

National Dried was available right up to the late 70s.
Formula was a status symbol, remember the super rich never breastfed, why would you BFeed if you could afford Formula?

Those mums of the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s absolutely believed they were doing the very BEST for their babies.

The swing to Breast is Best didn't happen until the late 80s into the 90s. It's taken a long time to break down barriers.

Breast feeding is poorly understood, breast babies don't go for 4 hours between feeds, they cluster feed, which is taken by many to mean they aren't getting enough. Nobody seems to tell mums about cluster feeding. There a fine line between preparing a new mum for a hard time and filling new mums with horror stories, sore nipples, mastitis etc,

New Grandmothers want to support their DD, see her struggling and push the advice they were given. Breast feeding is knackering. New mums don't get the support they need, they are expected to run a house, care for other children and look after baby. So they take their mums and grans advice and switch.

In some parts of the world, a new mum is fully supported for 6 weeks, the extended family (her mum, aunties, sisters) take care of everything else letting mum focus on recovery from birth and feeding her newborn.

So that's my answer, history and culture are the biggest factors. I breastfed both my babies. Had loads of online support from another forum and attended breastfeeding support mainly because they were free groups and somewhere to meet other mums.

Lemonandlime123 · 03/01/2021 05:14

Absolutely agree that new mums need to be taught that breastfeeding can be painful at first.

With my first I was cracked and bleeding, it was agony for the first few weeks. I was sure I was doing something wrong as you are told it shouldn't hurt if baby is latched correctly etc. I wasn't and it soon became pain free. I think this misconception leads to lots of Mums stopping.

Lemonandlime123 · 03/01/2021 05:16

Never had any negative comments in public either, always found people quite supportive!

LikeSilentRaindrops · 03/01/2021 05:16

I’d agree with PPs about history and culture playing a large part, but I do think the physical discomfort and difficulty has been a bigger factor in my personal experience.

With my first, I was part of a NCT group of 8, all of whom expressed interest in breastfeeding. By week 2, only 3 of us had persevered; by week 4, I was the only one still solely breastfeeding. For me, the difference was having an amazing community midwife, who popped in every day for the first 3-4 days to literally help me latch the baby. Also having a really hands on husband, who acted as a cheerleader and who helped as far as he could with middle of the night feedings, bringing the baby to me, burping her and resettling her so I could sleep through every other feed.

Without that ‘team’ around me, I think I would have given up as most of my NCT friends did. It was such an emotive subject and I know many of them felt like they’d ‘failed’; in reality, we weren’t given the appropriate support by professionals, either beforehand to manage expectations, or after to support establishing breastfeeding.

DramaAlpaca · 03/01/2021 05:30

Things must really have gone backwards since I had my first child 27 years ago, it's such a shame.

I never, ever, in nine months of breastfeeding experienced any sort of shaming when I was feeding in public. I was always discreet, but even so.

DM and MIL were very anti breastfeeding, but I suppose that's understandable as DH and I were born in the 60s when formula was the norm, and our mothers had no experience and didn't understand. Fortunately I was tough enough to persevere despite their obvious disapproval, and I had the full support of DH which helped enormously.

I also had great support both in the hospital and from my NCT group postnatally.

Yes, women should be told that it can be sore initially. Fortunately for me the discomfort didn't last long and we soon got into the swing of it.

It's very sad that rates are so low. Breastfeeding is so amazing and well worth persevering with as long as it works. For me it was easy with my first two children. With my third it was a different story, I will never know why, but he failed to thrive on breastmilk and I was so glad that formula was available when we needed it.

Pyewhacket · 03/01/2021 05:36

I was given a leaflet when I left hospital and I think the midwife visited once but as it was always my intention to employ a nanny and get back to work I didn’t see much point in getting my knickers in a twist over B/F. I guess I’m MC but none of my friends or my sisters were that fussed over B/F either.

StopSquirtingBleachOnCaneToads · 03/01/2021 05:43

I'm another one who agrees that people aren't honest with new mums about breastfeeding - it does hurt until you get used to it, it is absolutely exhausting, the baby is supposed to cluster feed sometimes even after you've no milk left to "put their order in for tomorrow" or however you want to think of it... I wasn't aware of any of this before I started. I think that medical professionals are so desperate to get mums to breastfeed that they are afraid of talking about the difficult parts and gloss over a lot of stuff with smiles and rainbows.

VashtaNerada · 03/01/2021 05:43

Lack of funding for infant feeding specialists. For me, DC1 was in hospital for a while and the
hospital’s infant feeding specialist was p/t and never seemed to make it round to me. Hospital staff were very pro-formula (understandably, as DD was unwell and they were desperate to get food into her, but I do believe that with support breast milk could have worked too). DC2 had tongue tie that wasn’t diagnosed until way after I’d given up.

Bikingbear · 03/01/2021 05:43

Drama you say you got support 27 years ago in hospital. Doing my sums that's early 90s.
What was the culture in the hospital?

My mums experience in the 70s mums were kept in 6 days standard, 10days after a section, Dads were only allowed in a couple of hours per day and babies were taken to the nursery at night.

Because that's something else that's changed, when I had mine the Dads were pretty much allowed on the wards 10am to 10pm. Although baby was kept beside the mum. You were only kept in for a reason.

I know some hospitals Dads are there 24hrs. And probably less support staff.
I think for many mums, maternity wards being surrounded by other Dads isn't actually helpful in getting BFing established either.

ShinyGreenElephant · 03/01/2021 05:52

Totally agree with @wobblihead3000 and @Bikingbear. It DOES bloody hurt, I'm pregnant with DD3 at the moment while still breastfeeding DD2 and I'm hoping that I may miss the cracked nipple stage out this time since they're used to a toddler chomping on them. But with both my older daughters it bloody killed for weeks and it would be really helpful if mums knew that in advance, but its a fine line between preparing them and scaring them off.

I've never had so much as a funny look from a stranger, ever, but I've had plenty of comments from within my own family. Right from the start MIL and SIL went on and on about how DD would sleep better on formula and how they could take her off us for a break - well I didn't want a break! Or sleep that desperately, she was only a couple of weeks old! They did give that up when I made it clear I would only give formula as an absolute last resort, but its clearly deeply ingrained in them that ff is the norm and bf is weird. My family were better at first but now shes 2 theyve started with the "When are you going to stop? Don't you think shes a bit old now?" She can decide herself when she wants to stop and she doesnt yet, its noones business but mine and hers and I find their attitudes really odd.

Bikingbear · 03/01/2021 06:12

ShinyGreenElephant Yes very deeply ingrained that's exactly what I mean.

I had MIL pester with the same thing formula they'd sleep better and she could give me a break.Give me a break by making my dinner or something while DH is away, don't go trying to take my tiny baby.

Meanwhile my own mum was bottle babies are much more settled, it's a whole lot easier on you. Lot of nonsense that breast is best thousands of kids are bottle fed and there's nothing wrong with them.

Neither have any clue I was still doing night feeds until 14mths and 18mths.

Aria2015 · 03/01/2021 06:18

I've never received any negativity regards breastfeeding, the opposite in fact. I do agree that there's not loads of support out there though. My main support with my first was my mother (who had breastfed all her children).

I think there's lots of reasons the rates are so low, but the reason any of my friends have given up was pain and tiredness in those first few days / weeks. Sadly most of us all had gruelling first labours that left us exhausted and in pain and I think that puts you on the back foot when it comes to breastfeeding because it's just so hard in those early days / weeks.

Also, another reason I hear, is women saying they weren't producing enough / any milk in those early days so ended up giving formula instead. From what I've read, it's actually very rare for women to genuinely not be able to breastfeed for this reason but I think there is a lack of support and understanding about how milk supply works and becomes established. Many mums supplement with formula after becoming afraid that their baby isn't getting enough and this effects their supply and then that seems to confirm to them that they're not making enough and so they keep giving / increasing the formula.

I can see how it happens. With my second lo, they dropped more than 10% in weight by day 3 and I was totally freaked out at the thought I was starving my baby. That night she was crying so much I rang the maternity hospital. They told me to give her formula because she was hungry. I reluctantly sent my husband out to get some and she chugged it down and fell straight to sleep. If I hadn't breastfed my first successfully, I think I'd have given up at that point, because seeing my baby fed and content on formula made me feel like it was giving her something I couldn't and I really doubted my bodies ability to feed my baby. But because I'd successfully breastfed my first and I knew my milk was in the cusp of coming in, I pushed through with the breastfeeding and made sure I had her on the breast as much as possible and she started gaining weight over the next few days and that single bottle of formula is the only one she's had.

It REALLY knocked my confidence though and like I say, if I'd been a first time mum, I really think that would have ended my breastfeeding journey because I wasn't offered any support beyond 'just give her formula' which is just not how it should be.

GirlCalledJames · 03/01/2021 06:18

I think people who breastfeed and who formula feed live in two different worlds. I have never met anyone who formula fed their baby nor have I ever seen a baby be bottle fed.
I had a baby with a lip tie but it didn’t even occur to me to switch because breastfeeding was the default.

Cash02 · 03/01/2021 06:19

Thanks all for the replies I’ve enjoyed reading them! I’m glad you’ve had good experiences with public feeding! It’s not as dire as I thought it was. My area is very much a working class area, as I said previously, I don’t think it’s common to breastfeed here and it gives people a bit of a shock. I also get pestered but my own family, saying i should just ‘give her a bottle’ when she’s even the tiniest bit upset about anything Hmm
I was completely shocked by the pain, it lasted for a good two weeks? Not too bad but boy did it hurt.
People aren’t honest enough, and because if that women get a huge shock when they go to try and breastfeed.

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MondayYogurt · 03/01/2021 06:23

I don't think women see close up other women breastfeeding enough before having to try it themselves. The antenatal class used a knitted 'boob' to demonstrate Hmm
No one mentioned tongue tie either. Or the pain.
It's as if everyone's just really embarrassed about the whole thing.

Cash02 · 03/01/2021 06:24

There’s clearly a correlation between underfunding in maybe more impoverished areas and breastfeeding rates, less money means less support which means less women breastfeeding.
I grew up on a council estate, never having much, as did those around me obviously, and bottle feeding what just what you did, it was the default, still living in the same borough and nothing seems to have changed, my hospital was very pro formula too.

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Squeakypotato · 03/01/2021 06:31

In order to promote breastfeeding you're not told the reality of it (e.g. pain, frequent feeds, poor sleep) so how difficult it us comes as a huge shock, especially if you're from a background where most people formula feed. I was also a young bfing mum from a ff "culture" and genuinely didn't think there would be any difference beyond putting a baby on a boob every x hours rather than giving them a bottle! Much was made of it bring healthy too, free etc., but I wasn't told how difficult and time-consuming it would be.

Ladybird345 · 03/01/2021 06:36

I have breastfed both my children and found the Midwife's (one in particular) to be really condescending with me with my second in particular.
I was hospitalised for a period after birth and they kept telling me she wasn't latched on correctly and actually waking me during the night several times to watch me breastfeed, in the end I was getting really sick of it. When her weight was checked she had actually put on weight so there wasn't a feeding issue at all.
Luckily I was confident with feeding and let it go over my head but if I was nervous or a first time mum I expect I would've changed to formula.