Breastfeeding rates in the UK

[Cash02]

Hi I want to start this by saying, this isn’t a breast is best post etc. I literally have no qualms against formula, wouldn’t dare shame a mother for using formula, this is purely curiosity.

I’ve been breastfeeding for almost 7 months, I’ve had all the shaming, all the weird looks as you can imagine, had people tell me to cover up etc. I find it so odd.

Why do you think that breastfeeding rates are so low? Especially in the uk and young mums, being one myself.

I will say the support I received has been shocking, I had a c-section, breastfed straight away, DD seemed to have a good latch, but I was in agony, bleeding nipples everything, they sent a breastfeeding consultant down, told me ‘the latch was fine so I don’t know’ then left, and I’ve seen the health visitor once. I had an amazing midwife come over after I left hospital who helped me fix my positioning which helped, probably wouldn’t still be breastfeeding if it wasn’t for her, however I was alone from then.

Are there any other reasons that you think, as a formula mum or breastfeeding mum, that discourages women so much?

Yes agree not enough support.

My mum breastfed 3 babies, my sister was still breastfeeding hers, to be honest it was just normal that I did and my mum and sister is very supportive with advice. I had a really rocky time, ended up using Nipple Shields but I did this the entire time and bf till my son decided he wanted to stop at 13 months. My mum and sister were very honest about it hurting and toe curling pain in the early days so I knew what to expect.

Where I live I only saw one formula fed baby (older age FTM, MC area), I think there's such a contrast in experiences up the country.

What they don't communicate to you is how much they will feed, if you have multiple children or need to go back to work early I can see why this just isn't feisable.

I think it's because we seem reluctant to tell mothers what breastfeeding is actually like so as not to put them off. That said we also don't talk much about sakazakii and the steps to prepping safe formula either so who knows?

We are overall still a formula culture. Yes we've banned first formula adverts but when you get follow on milk with the same branding freely advertised and many people not knowing the difference until they have kids it's pointless. The phrase "when you decide to move on from breastfeeding" makes it seem like something everyone does at some point.

We also love the idea of equality between the sexes and to some that translates to splitting all child rearing tasks 50:50. Mum doing all the feeds doesn't fit well with this.

I am still feeding my 14 month old and intend to continue. My OH took her for her 12 month vaccinations and without asking anything about feeding, the nurse ticked in her red book that she was not bf at all at 12 months. I was really cross when I saw it and rang the surgery for them to correct wherever the tear off page goes. No idea whether they actually did! It seems like a small thing but I had been back at work a few months, expressing at work and generally working damn hard to continue feeding and wanted that little tick as a bit of recognition!

There is such a strange mix of pressure/lack of support I think it can be overwhelming. With my first I felt under pressure to bf but had no support whatsoever, just constantly told it was best for her but with no one saying what I should/shouldn’t be doing.

With my second I really wanted to bf, but when her weight wasn’t on track I was put under pressure by the bf “support” health visitor at the group I was sent to to formula top up. I ignored her as I didn’t want to mix feed like I had with my first as I could see how that shortened my feeding time with her, and other than not fitting the damn graph everything was fine.

I think sometimes there is too much information (and not all of it correct) out there. People believe formula feeding (and in some cases it does) improves your/babies sleep, and as that’s what’s killing you when you first have them, you look for anything to fix it. Lack of guidance and support for safe co-sleeping doesn’t help here either.

I never had outright comments about my breast feeding in a public place. However I have heard comments from staff at my work place about mother’s who bf so I think the attitude does cost in some places.

My family did treat me quite awkwardly at first. My dad would sit well away and I remember my cousin visiting and waiting around the corner of the door before coming in invade anything was on show. None of that bothered me particularly but for someone else that would have been word upsetting and does send signals about it being something embarrassing etc.

I do think it’s a cultural thing too. When I fb I only knew other new mums who breastfed and had no family help/advice because my mum/cousins had all formula fed. Again I was fine with that but some would have felt happier doing the same as their family and being able to seek advice from family.

The ‘professional’ support was shoddy in my experience too. Hello I had was from local charities or other new mums online.

Thanks for the good reading this morning!
I’ve been wondering about this for a while but, it’s no secret that breasts are incredibly sexualised in today’s day and age, breasts are mainly seen as a sexual thing, for pleasure.
I think the reason it can make people uncomfortable is because they see breasts as sexual, when they see a child feeding from one it confuses them and makes them uncomfortable, I think this also plays a role in young women in particular not wanting to breastfeed, it makes the mother themselves uncomfortable.
If breasts weren’t so sexualised maybe some women would find it easier to feed in public and around family.

I am still bf 13 month old dd2 (on waking and bedtime only) but frankly it hurt SO much for about 8 months and still does periodically. No discernable reason, no tongue tie, good latch, the HV and midwives just shrugged and said they didn’t know. End of story. I was set to give up quite early out of self-preservation but she developed CMPA and couldn’t have normal formula/milk, and i felt it was stupid to move her to the special suitable formula when i could just cut out dairy and keep bf so here we are. She is doing the milk ladder at the moment and i am counting down the days to pain-free and having my body back.

With Dd1 i never had milk come in after colostrum (retained placenta) and gave her her first bottle on the night of day 3 sobbing at what a terrible mother i was, and i think it is partly the memory of that upset which made me persevere with dd2.

I have never been looked at twice for bf, although covid means i haven’t exactly been out and about, but would guess that it is partly about class/area, but also age. I am a frumpy 42 who is perfectly willing to invite strangers to fuck off with their unsolicited opinions, and never had any comments. My pretty 29 year old nanny had several bad experiences with comments/looks/“advice” whilst bf. Society likes telling young women what they are doing with their bodies is wrong. If you’d ff i suspect you’d have got a similar experience from a different set of busybodies.

Simple answer is that the NHS do not diagnose tongue tie and do not seem to take it seriously, babies then loose weight and get dehydrated and you have no choice to add formula into the mix which then messes it all up. I do not get the NHS campaign breast is best when they hinder it by not taking tongue tie seriously. Breastfeeding without tongue tie is painless and so much easier, with tongue tie is agonising and a complete struggle. I honestly believe those that have found breastfeeding easy are those who have not experienced tongue tie in the beginning. I nearly gave up but luckily in the end it was found but my baby was in a very risky situation due to getting no milk for 5 days due to it. With me being unaware as a first time mum.

I had low supply due to retained placenta too. I was also on medications that affected my supply and no one warned me about this or told me it was just temporary. It could easily have put me off as I assumed at the time I just had a low supply and it was "one of those things". I think people don't realise that low supply is unusual and often has a cause.

I breastfed baby 1 for 13 months. Nobody else in my family ever breastfed since my Nan. Even she expected me to stop at 4-6 months.

Huge lack of support from qualified specialist.

Out of 13 mums I know, with similar aged kids.
5 of us breastfed for over a year.
4 people tried but never succeeded past 2 weeks
4 didn't want to

I honestly those who stopped didn't have the correct support. If you don't understand cluster feeding, you'll think you can't keep up with baby, feed to give top ups. If you don't pump to replace feeds early on, you get in a vicious cycle.

Lack of support when it doesn't just magically happen

Not being properly informed about how best to establish breastfeeding before birth: ie planning for it

I have formula fed one and breastfed the other: felt more shamed for ff than for bf. In fact, I've never been made to feel uncomfortable about breastfeeding either in public or private. And I'm still feeding my 2 year old.

I had DD in July and my midwives and HV said anecdotally that they felt bf rates were higher and they felt it was because lockdown meant women had more time alone with dad and baby and less pressure to have visitors round in the very early weeks meaning they had much more time to try and establish feeding.

DD had a TT which was missed in hospital and got put on a feeding management plan. We persevered and her total post birth weight loss was 9% which is still within the realms of normal. My neighbour advised me to put her on formula and I found it hard to push back because I didn't have confidence in bf going well at that point but I ignored her comment. I know my MIL would have discouraged bf and my own DM may have if she saw how worried and stressed I was. MIL is very black and white and would not have understood any perseverance. Luckily no one being here meant it was just DH and I, and midwives/HVs. We did get there in the end and I'm so glad. I definitely feel that having time just as us was really important. If I ever have more DC we will be really strict on visitors until bf is established. Would make DH ensure people got an hour window then had to bugger off, and I wouldn't have people round every day. It's likely any other baby I have could have a TT so I'd rather be pessimistic! I knew bf could be hard but only from my own Googling beforehand. No HCP said so.

In the area I live it is a real mix. I know around 20 new mums from this year and it's anything from: didn't want to breastfeed, exclusively breastfeeding and wanted to breastfeed but was unable to for a huge variety of reasons.

I did find in my NCT course last year, the session on breastfeeding wasn't too helpful... it seemed to be the ONLY reason you would have trouble breastfeeding would be a bad latch. That would be the only reason it hurts etc. I remember asking about tongue tie and I was told it was so rare not to worry about it. Funny how 3 out of the 8 NCT babies ended up having tongue tie cut.

Thankyou for starting this thread OP

I’m 18 weeks pregnant and mumsnet has been really helpful for not just getting the rose tinted view of breastfeeding.

I’m hoping that covid restrictions will make it easier tbh. Less people dropping by will mean I can can just be on the sofa with my boobs out for a few weeks when DC arrives.

This conversation reminds of Leonardo Da Vinci's Madonna Litta (you can Google it, though there is some disagreement over who painted it). It amazes me that over 500 years later we are culturally less, not more, accepting of mothers feeding their children.

@PinkPlantCase that's exactly what it's been like for us, I've always got a boob out! DD likes to nap on her boob pillow and wakes up if I take it away so there is just a boob out constantly

Funny, I never once experienced that. I guess it depends entirely where you live? Or maybe some people are just paranoid about "funny looks".

The Madonna Litta isn't the only depiction of breastfeeding in the 15 century by the way. It's just one of the most well known.

@YouJustDoYou to be honest I’m very young and look younger which probably also plays a role in the looks.

Where I am, it's because they yap endlessly at you antenatally to breastfeed and formula is evil then when you have the baby they turn round and tell you to formula feed because they're not instantly gaining weight.

I may have had a go at the antenatal education team in my area over that one. Way to destroy EVERYONE'S confidence, Jesus.

@PurBal
I think it’s the natural progression of a society who’s at it’s peak in a way, we’re eating ourselves.
There’s a theory about how a society can only become so advanced before it’s destroyed.

@Lemonandlime123

Absolutely agree that new mums need to be taught that breastfeeding can be painful at first.

With my first I was cracked and bleeding, it was agony for the first few weeks. I was sure I was doing something wrong as you are told it shouldn't hurt if baby is latched correctly etc. I wasn't and it soon became pain free. I think this misconception leads to lots of Mums stopping.

I came on to say this. Saying 'it shouldn't hurt' makes you think something must be wrong, I even had a midwife say my son had a tongue tie when he didn't!

It's agony for like 2-3 weeks then it completely settles, and I think that's the norm. Just have to persevere.

I think there is safety in familiarity.

If women see other women breastfeeding and it is normal within their environment (their family & friends) then I think they are more likely to breast feed their babies themselves. Likewise with formula, if it what everyone else does...then that's what you do.

How the cultural norms can be rewritten is above my pay-grade I'm afraid but I think this is possibly where the answer lies

I think the main thing is that breastfeeding is hard hard work for most women and why they probably give up. Anyone I know that tried and gave up it was mainly due to how hard it was, the hours of cluster feeding. Baby losing weight, being hysterical and already getting formula top ups.

I didn't know much about it to be honest but thought I'd give it a go. Was absolutely shocked at how hard it was. Painful, bleeding, cracked nipples and a hungry baby is not a gd combo.

I was in hospital 6 days so I had a lot of support from the breastfeeding consultants. They gave me positions to try and different tips. Gave me numbers to call if I was struggling. They were brilliant to be fair. Baby was already getting formula too his when I left hospital and my milk never actually came in when I left either.

I think a lot of mums aren't comfortable with feeding infront of ppl too. I know I wouldn't have been comfortable doing it in a testy or out and about.

Not read everyone's responses but I started reading "Why the politics of breastfeeding matter" upon the recommendation of someone on here, and it pretty much explained why there's such a high 'failure to bf' rate in the UK and US.

I had issues at the start too and I was bloody shocked at the lack of support I had from the midwives and HVs. One told me I was starving my baby, another told me "that's just how your baby is...she doesn't see your breasts as a source of feeding"...WHAT??? Their solution to my problems was "you just don't have enough milk". Anyway in the end, I went to a private lactation consultant who solved my issues in less than a fortnight.

Sometime I'm tempted to text the midwife who told me all that rubbish just to let her know how wrong she was hahaha.

The Grannys, who are the people mum is most likely to listen to, push formula because its what they did and know.

Lots of BFing knowledge was lost in the years of pushing formula, even the other magic properties, rub some milk on your nipples makes them less sore and helps heeling. Milk also works magic on babies sticky eyes, squirt onto cotton pad and wipe.

Nobody in public ever said a word. McDonald's lady was super helpful when my 5yo went to order an extra drink, for himself for the first time. We'd had a rotten day inc trip to A&E so I'd promised McDs.