Breastfeeding rates in the UK

[Cash02]

Hi I want to start this by saying, this isn’t a breast is best post etc. I literally have no qualms against formula, wouldn’t dare shame a mother for using formula, this is purely curiosity.

I’ve been breastfeeding for almost 7 months, I’ve had all the shaming, all the weird looks as you can imagine, had people tell me to cover up etc. I find it so odd.

Why do you think that breastfeeding rates are so low? Especially in the uk and young mums, being one myself.

I will say the support I received has been shocking, I had a c-section, breastfed straight away, DD seemed to have a good latch, but I was in agony, bleeding nipples everything, they sent a breastfeeding consultant down, told me ‘the latch was fine so I don’t know’ then left, and I’ve seen the health visitor once. I had an amazing midwife come over after I left hospital who helped me fix my positioning which helped, probably wouldn’t still be breastfeeding if it wasn’t for her, however I was alone from then.

Are there any other reasons that you think, as a formula mum or breastfeeding mum, that discourages women so much?

Well done for continuing to breastfeed despite the lack of support.
I am still breastfeeding my 18 month old and my family and friends are horrified 🤣

I think it's because it's so painful, people expect it to be pain free and easy and then when it's not, they think something is wrong and they stop.

Also people want freedom and if they bottle feed they can get more help. In my opinion and experience (bottle fed my first after 6 months for this reason)

I think the UK make the hospital experience too stressful. In other European countries, women have private rooms, their partners can stay with them the whole time and mums stay for a few days after giving birth to make sure everything is ok and support is given for breastfeeding and general care of the newborn. I think that extra care, possible pain relief if needed and rest surely has to help women get established with bf and maybe more inclined to keep it up. The NHS is marvelous but seems a bit barbaric/outdated towards maternity needs.

What strikes me, from not only my own experience but also from threads on here- is the complete lack of understanding about how breastfeeding works. Not so much the pain but rather the frequency, the fact that your baby can literally be on the boob for hours, cluster feeding, be fussy etc. If people went into it knowing this I don’t think people would be so discouraged, thinking their baby wasn’t satisfied or that they are struggling when they really aren’t it’s just that no one told them. When I breastfed my first I was told babies feed every 3hrs- the endless chomping made me call the hospital on night 1 and say I didn’t think I had any colostrum,
. I had to bat off comments from my husband and MIL that we should give her a bottle because she wasn’t “full” on my boobs. Whereas realistic expectations would have made me far calmer.

My wife breastfeeds our little one, it wasn't easy in the beginning. Little lady just wouldn't take to it, even stumped the midwives that helped and specialists. Perseverance was key, now wouldn't change it for the world. The bond is irreplaceable.

Cash02 I don't know if its underfunding I had one baby in a MC area and second in a bigger WC area. Both had same sort of groups.

But its definitely a more ingrained culture to ff in WC areas. It has to be historical reasons. WC women always worked, my Granny with two toddlers in the 40s worked while they went to a council nursery.

Did MC woman work too?
Was work optional for women with babies, during the war years?

I'm still breastfeeding my 23 month old abs good job too as she has coronavirus and has largely stopped eating. It gives her comfort and enough nourishment for the time being.

Keep boobing guys

I guess I would be considered middle class...however I will not be breastfeeding. I want my body to be my own again after pregnancy, I want my partner to support equally with the feeds and I don't want go through all the pain and time of BF.

I read stories of women who starve their babies because they are so determined to BF. It makes me so sad, I will never get to that point. My first DD (8) was FF and she is fine!

I read stories of women who starve their babies because they are so determined to BF.
I don't believe that for a second.

Well done for sticking with it, I had 8 weeks of pain with my 1st one and no pain, no engorgement or cracked nipples with my second so hope it’s the same with you.

I’m also from a very working class area and one of my ‘favourite’ comments was ‘what of you want to go shopping?’

It’s really interesting how other mothers try feel the need to ‘justify’ not breastfeeding to you. Also of ‘I tried but ....’ so I think the lack of support and misinformation has always been around.

Both me and my SIL wanted to breastfeed, but she had complications during birth so they gave her DD a bottle while she was unable to feed and recovery was long so they never had the chance to swap. I breastfeed for the first 3 days (colostrum) but my actual milk never came in, was the middle of the night, no one to call, both me and DH were exhausted and baby was starving (we don't know how long she'd been 'feeding' without actually getting anything ) so DH made up a bottle which she downed! Never looked back! Both babies are growing and healthy and exceptionally cheeky 😂

I agree that the area you are in makes a massive difference.
Where I live there are (were, pre-Covid) support groups, Facebook pages, help from HVs etc and I know lots and lots of mums who breastfeed. Also a lot of sling users - I think there is a correlation for some reason.

I fed Ds1 for 9 months and ds2 for 15 months and never had a negative look, comment or anything. Nothing but support really.

When the health services are looking at breastfeeding uptake they really need to consider the disparity area to area and focus resources where they are most needed.

Have enjoyed reading this, very interesting!
I agree people aren’t given enough info- I went to a class about bf that was HOURS long before I had my baby and it never went into any of the problems you can have- mastitis or vasospasm etc etc. I had a very rough bf journey and almost stopped many times because like you OP, I kept getting told ‘he’s got a great latch’ and that was that- even though it clearly wasn’t as it was total agony for months!! I can see why so many women think okay well there’s no solution but to stop. I was lucky I met a girl who was a really great support to me who had had similar issues and I think she’s partly why I persevered. They need to be more honest after birth about what to expect.
I’ve been very lucky and never experienced any negative comments. Infact I’ve had people bring me water in restaurants when I’ve been feeding, which was lovely. My friend who Ff fed tho Got many negative comments aimed at her, which is terrible, As at the end of the day everyone does what’s right for them and their baby. Nobody deserves to be made to feel bad for feeding however they do it. I’m sorry to all of you that have had negative comments about the way you choose to feed and hope you told those people to do one!!!!

I never had an negative comments in public but I know my own mother wasn't happy about me breastfeeding. She couldn't understand it as she wasn't breastfed and her own mother etc.
Think she thought I was strange for doing it. I think she also blames me breastfeeding for her not having a proper bond with her grandchildren. Because she couldn't hold them and feed them a bottle of milk. (No that's because you don't bother with them enough).
Although I never had a negative comment I used to have people keep asking me when I was giving up, why I was still doing it or how long I'd be doing it for.
I used to belong to antenatal classes 15 years ago (not NCT) and myself and another girl were breastfeeding out of about 16 of us. We were made to feel really left out, whilst everyone else sat and talked about how many ounces little Johnny was getting, we just sat and talked between ourselves. They'd be constantly asking when we were giving up - babies were about 3 months at this point, as if they thought the babies were over the newborn bit now.
I'd never ask someone how long they were going to do it for, I'd just be secretly pleased they were doing it.

I breastfed for over 16 months. Everything i wanted to say mentioned already by other posters but I just wanted to say you sound like a really good mum and very wise for your age (are you 18?) Congratulations on the baby

@firstimemamma thank you! I’ve been silently reading haha.
I really appreciate that

IMO support is very poor in this country and what of it there is pre-baby is also extremely poor. There is just not the investment required in our NHS. Once there is I think they'll be a culture change.

With my first, she was born with a hole in her heart at low birth weight, breathless when trying to feed. Every midwife and breastfeeding support worker shrugged their shoulders because it was out the norm and didn't know what to suggest when looking back all it would have taken was an urgent referral to the cardiac team in conjunction with a breastfeeding support worker to work it through, I wasn't informed or educated enough at the time to know I should have pushed this bloody hard with them!

In the end I was terrified me trying to breastfeed was making her breathing worse and felt coheres to give formula, first just to get discharged from hospital and then combi feeding at home as she was losing weight.

Having said that, the information pre birth is poor. I did the NCT course, it's all rosy how it's portrayed. Not once did she suggest "it's f*cking hard" and you can get support from A,B,C. Tongue tie is a possibility, 4th trimester blah blah.
I know of a lot of ladies with more support and information would still be breastfeeding now.

The only negative comments were from my MIL and DMum. My MIL didn't BF herself so I thought perhaps she saw it as me disapproving of her choice to not BF. My own mum thought I wax feeding DS too much, but he had silent reflux so was constantly feeding!!

Of my 'NCT' group of about 8, we all started BF, but it hard, so after 5 weeks only 3 of us were still BF.

I was surprised at how painful it was at first, but I see it as short term pain for long term gain. BF is so much easier than formula after the initial few weeks. No bottles, no sterilising, no running out of formula, no packing up bottles for days out, so much easier!!!

I breast fed both of mine exclusively for 6 months, which was the advice at the time. Afterwards I find out that only 1% of babies in the UK have this, which is very divergent from the advice.

I never had any shaming at all, but the things that did 'help' me were expectations and support.

With expectations, I had, years before, seen my sister try to breast feed (she did 2 weeks I think). I literally saw her toes curl when the baby latched. I basically knew it was going to hurt and be tough initially. Also a couple of friends who had babies before me, one was obsessed by breast feeding and had had a difficult birth, failed breast feeding and terrible PND. She advised me to not leave the hospital before I had had help breast feeding. Another friend told me that your nipples need to 'toughen up' in the first 2 weeks, so you will be sore at first. All these things have me realistic expectations. Also I knew my own mother had formula fed 1 child and breast feed 2 and MIL the same. There was no IQ or health difference between those breast fed or not, so for me it wasnt this big emotive thing about doing best for my baby.

In terms of support, my husband also wanted me to breast feed (better sleep for him!!) So was encouraging and got me pillows, cups of tea etc. I got ZERO support anywhere else (eg midwives, etc).

A class in hospital would have been really effective but that's expensive so the government would rather 'raise awareness' (ie Emotionally pressure women to do it) which is cheap but ineffective, rather than pay for breast feeding consultation in the hospital.

I'm surprised at your experience of negative reactions in public OP. My daughter breastfeeds her baby and so do all of the other mothers in her circle. The impression I have is that formula is discouraged these days, but from your experience that's obviously not the case everywhere.

My mother formula fed 5 of us (late 1950s early 60s) and still has the opinion breastfeeding is 'animalistic' and akin to being a farmyard animal 😄. I briefly breastfed my two but gave up as there was no support or advice, my supply was poor and it was so painful. Also, nobody really expected me to. About a third of the mums I met/knew at the time breastfed so culturally it wasn't the norm.

You're doing great OP, so ignore the negativity.

I’d say the vast majority of my friends that formula fed started with intentions of breastfeeding (only a couple never ever wanted to breastfeed). I can’t work out whether they stopped because they couldn’t get on with it or because they changed their mind about wanting to. “The literature” seems to suggest women stop because they don’t get the right support, but had they had it they would have carried on. From the outside, I’m sure most of my friends have stopped because actually they just didn’t want to breastfeed after giving it a go. Breastfeeding isn’t overly compatible with our lifestyle (as in society’s lifestyle) and I think perhaps they realise this. I breastfeed and when DS was small so many friends couldn’t work out why I wouldn’t be apart from my baby at all/for very long. He was 9 months when covid kicked off so I’m not sure how juggling breastfeeding and socialising works beyond then.

FWIW, I don’t think it matters. FF v BF. Whatever really, as long as your baby is fed! Breastfeeding is clearly more beneficial but actually the data seems to suggest the benefits at an individual level are negligible. Zero judgement towards mothers who stopped breastfeeding for any reason.

I have breastfed both children to about 22 months.
I've been very lucky in having few issues and little pain. My mum and sisters all breastfed, in fact I don't know how to make up formula! I also live in a city with a massive breastfeeding culture so was able to do it all over the place with no comments.
It was also easy for me because I am a bit lazy..... I always prioritised lying around cuddling the baby over housework! So I never minded cluster feeds. For mums who are on their own or have partners working long hours etc.... Must be a lot harder.
I think a lot of us are under pressure to be super mums. To have jobs, beautiful homes and be doing meaningful activities with children all the time while whipping up beautiful home cooked meals. I had to accept my limitations to feed. My toddler ended up probably eating too much toast and watching too much TV while I was feeding the baby which probably wiped out any breastfeeding advantages 🤣🤣🤣

Oh and also never experienced anything negative. In fact, lots of oldies would spark up conversations and coo over a newborn DS whilst he was latched on. Usually in the John Lewis cafe!

@SuperHighway thank you! I’m not saying I’m like berated in public everywhere I go but I’ve had a few little comments and a some looks. I had really bad social issues growing up and I suppose I’d be more sensitive to such things than most.
I thought it was in my head until DP and MIL had noticed as well.

Really curious the point about what type of women FF v BF. My social circles are all very middle class, we’re pretty much all yuppies (for lack of a better word) and I’m the only person who breastfed (for longer than about a month). The rest all either didn’t want to or stopped (and mostly way before the first month, usually within the first couple of weeks). My sister is the only other person I knew who breastfed and she was a 17 year old mother with no partner and no education.

I also think its largely cultural. In my family and friendship groups breastfeeding is the norm and expected thing. Out of 8 ladies in my nct class all but one are still breastfeeding now at around 9 to 11 months. My DHs family are much more working class and formula is the norm there. My MIL didn't know anyone who had BF their baby before me and the only slightly negative comments I got were from her. Saying how much she wished she could give DS a bottle. I think she was also weirded out by the whole thing. Always made sure to go out for a smoke while I was feeding him or find a job to do. Couldn't just sit and chat to me while I was doing it.
I have to say the support where we are seemed to be quite good however coronavirus added another layer of difficulty. When we were struggling establishing feeding all the breast feeding clinics and groups were closed and you couldn't get anyone to come out to your house to look at your latch. When I spoke to the HV about it on the phone she said to call one of the helplines. I very very nearly packed it all in and switched to formula and I wouldn't be at all suprised if there was a drop in breastfeeding rates to coincide with the pandemic.