Baby won’t stay latched on

[lavenderchocolate]

He is three days old, and although I have milk it’s incredibly difficult as he just won’t stay latched on. He works himself into such distress, it’s awful to see. At night he won’t go on at all. I’m now trying to express milk for him but I’m not sure if I’ve messed up. When I first used the breast pump earlier today I got quite a lot out but now not much. I’m guessing I should leave it for a while? I’m so upset, I have milk, I have a baby who clearly wants to breastfeed but we just can’t.

Hi OP, don't panic! Breastfeeding is a learnt skill, and like all learnt skills it can take a while to master. And that goes for the baby and the mum. Have you tried hand expressing for a few minutes before you put your little one on the breast? If you've got a very full breast, which you might on day 3, it might be hard for your baby to get a big enough mouthful of the beast. Hand expressing can reduce the pressure a bit and soften your breast. It could also be that the milk might be coming out too suddenly and with too much force, so have expressing for a minute or two beforehand could help reduce the pressure of that too. I'm no expert, just what I found. Good luck!

Lol at my typo, I meant breast but beast definitely works!

Baby’s aren’t born knowing how to feed, it’s a huge learning curve for both of you, it takes time and patience.

It’s great that’s your milk has come through at this stage, however your lo may still be getting used to the suck, swallow, breath cycle and now dealing with a more forceful letdown (colostrum is thicker than milk and so has a slower flow) and a lot more liquid than baby is used to dealing with.

If you can, avoid expressing at this stage, it may increase your flow and letdown which may make baby struggle more.

I would do the opposite of leaving it for a while - if you’re going to pump and want to up your supply you need to pump more often so your body makes more milk to meet demand.

That said, as pp said it is early days, just keep trying to get baby to latch on. If it keeps happening, try asking for advice on breastfeeding support group (there are people on here much more knowledgable than me who will be able to give you names of groups)

Thanks, it’s just I have had two awful nights with him (we are in hospital still) where he has been crying pitifully and gets so angry and distressed at not being able to latch on. After a good sleep he is generally able to latch on but still struggles to stay on.

At 5 this morning I syringe fed him some formula as I’d been trying to get him on the breast for three hours and it just wasn’t happening. He slept for four hours then. It’s such a vicious circle of him getting upset he can’t latch and then increasingly frustrated until we’ve no chance at all.

If I have to syringe feed him, I’d rather it was my own milk not formula of course.

I don’t know about my breasts feeling full and heavy, they don’t really, but I do think I have enough milk for him. He just struggles to take it.

I’ve bf 3 children and never had full breasts but most definitely had enough to feed them.

Are you getting any support from the breastfeeding network in your hospital? Are there specific reasons why your still an in patient at this stage (a traumatic birth or neonatal complications can affect bf, is why I’m asking)

What cues are you looking for when you’re getting ready to put him on the breast?

I see you are still in hospital. Can you use the buzzer to summon a midwife and ask them to help you latch him? It does take time for them to learn. When I was in with DD, the midwifes helped us learn how to do it.

Is he slipping off the nipple?

Ask the midwives to check tongue tie (again if they have already- took 3 midwives to notice my 1st baby's and I diagnosed my 2nd baby's and got it sorted privately). Tongue tie is massively over looked.

But could be as others have said. It's difficult to begin with. Watch lots of YouTube videos. Look up the Milk Meg. And get onto the Facebook group Breastfeeding Younger Babies and Beyond (flipping amazing support and advice on here)

When I had my Dd I was in hospital for 5 days because I couldn't get her to latch and feed. I did get there in the end! Keep trying. If you get a good midwife ask her to come back and help you again next feed.

What worked for me in the end was physically squashing my breast and nipple on two sides so it was more kind of rectangular?! Then Dd could get more in her mouth and a better latch. It got easier as she grew.

I had this issue with both my DSs. We never got the hang of it. I had midwives and lactation consultants try to help but both boys would just drop the breast and then get really angry to the point they couldn't calm down enough to relatch. DS1 I put in formula straight away, DS2 I did a mixture of pumping and formula before switching. Interestingly DD could latch better and would stay on. So idk why some babies don't.

This might not be the case for you, but if it is, its not your fault and you did nothing wrong. Both DSs are fine and thriving, if it does come to this, don't beat yourself up.

@kidscreatemess

Is he slipping off the nipple?

Ask the midwives to check tongue tie (again if they have already- took 3 midwives to notice my 1st baby's and I diagnosed my 2nd baby's and got it sorted privately). Tongue tie is massively over looked.

But could be as others have said. It's difficult to begin with. Watch lots of YouTube videos. Look up the Milk Meg. And get onto the Facebook group Breastfeeding Younger Babies and Beyond (flipping amazing support and advice on here)

I sometimes wonder if my DSs had this. My daughter had a small one that was snipped and she's the only one that could bf semi decently. I didn't even know what a tongue tie was when I had DS1, wish I'd have asked them to check him.

Both mine had tongue ties and were very off and on. Both were picked up relatively late (not detected while I was in hospital still) so definitely ask for a second opinion. Things improved once this was sorted. Best of luck x

Not sure anyone else has mentioned but La Leche League are great - they have a website and a telephone number

Different positions can help - I have bigger boobs and a rugby ball hold helped

Support him behind his shoulders (not the neck) quite firmly so he doesn't slip back- he's not got the strength to hold himself close to the breast. Remember- bring the baby to the breast, not the other way around. Use pillows to get him high enough and close enough. I find sitting upright makes it easier to get a position where baby stays on in the early days. Once he's on, make calming shushing sounds and try to stay relaxed yourself. Put him on really really frequently- every half hour or so- because if he's hungry, he'll get frustrated really quickly (as you've experienced). If you syringe feed him a bit, do not let him sleep for hours and then wake up ravenous- offer the boob again after half an hour or so and so not give him lots by syringe- a bit to take the edge off so he calms, then offer the breast again. Good luck x

Thanks for your advice; that’s really helpful.

A lot of what you’ve said resonates about him being hungry and he does get so distressed. I think he may have a small tongue tie, one of the midwives said this but that it shouldn’t stop him feeding.

The midwives were really helpful but busy and i came home this evening (yay.) it was an emergency c section.

Was he full term or premature? My first son was too small to latch properly 2KG, emergency c section with me put under due to eclampsia and Hellp syndrome. I pumped every 3 hrs but he never received enough milk. My second son was born 5 weeks early, induction Vbacc with pre-eclampsia, he latched very well after I asked many times for help from the nurses. One in particular gave me great help in positioning him.
With my second baby, I really wanted to try to breast feed and pushed for it. 10 years ago they didn't encourage enough so if you struggled they suggested formula which stops you producing. Skin to skin works wonders and make sure you squash your nipple like a hamburger and guide into your babies mouth (tip from nurse).
Keep asking for demos. I was in hospital for a week both times, you have expert advice on tap but only if you request.
If things don't work out then fed is best all round.
Good luck x

It can be soul destroying in the beginning but just keep doing a little & often. After a few weeks you can shove him/her under your jumper and they will find your nipple and suck but it takes time to learn.

I found it helpful to kind of hook baby on aiming my nipple at the top/back of his mouth. He needs a wide mouth open and full of quite a lot of breast to suck effectively not to nibble frantically on the end of your nipple. I waited until mine cried with mouth wide open then tried to wop them on — as other peeps said, your hand behind their shoulders and neck not on the back of their head, is better as they need their head back a bit to latch.

It’s hard going in the early days but worth trying x

And congrats!!! Nice to have good news in such rubbish times!

Thank you

Currently he is just slipping off the latch, I’ll push for the tongue tie go be sorted as he can latch and I am producing milk, it’s so frustrating.

He was actually slightly past term. I went in Monday for an induction, things got tricky and he was born by emergency section on Wednesday at 40 + 3. (I am 40 so was induced due to my age.)

Congratulations! Sounds very familiar and both mine had tongue tie.

Thank you. This is all so helpful as I’ve done the things suggested above but off he comes and as pp said eventually he gets so frustrated he can’t relatch.

One of the midwives did say she could see a small tongue tie. How do we go about getting this sorted? I really want to feed him myself.

My son had tongue tie the midwife put us in contact with the relevant department and did the referral in the hospital and it was done within days. It’s such a quick procedure over in seconds, no blood and no crying and it dramatically improved feeding. I also used breast shields for a while too to help with the latch and took them away a few weeks after tongue tie snip. Just push your midwife for answers and referral x

Hi OP my baby is four weeks and she wouldn’t latch either. I’m now expressing and she has two formula feeds during the night.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/4089262-Please-help-Baby-not-latching-milk-coming-in-in-pain
That was my thread. With regard to the pumping in the first few days I was doing it every two hours. Now I can go longer. Tbh it’s working well for us and means all the responsibility of feeding isn’t on me.

Thank you. peachy I am reading your thread now.

Ds will feed but I think he gets tiny amounts as he’s constantly slipping off. There have been maybe three successful breastfeeds where he’s stayed latched on so he can do it. I haven’t been able to breastfeed him since arriving home yesterday at around half nine in the evening. I’ve expressed some but not much is coming. I have no idea if my milk is rubbish, my pump is rubbish or I’m blocked somewhere? I’m really upset about it as something that should be so lovely is so fraught.

Oh OP I know exactly how you feel. Which pump are you using? It definitely took me a while to get to the point I’m at now. Has baby had some formula in the meantime?