Baby won’t stay latched on

[lavenderchocolate]

He is three days old, and although I have milk it’s incredibly difficult as he just won’t stay latched on. He works himself into such distress, it’s awful to see. At night he won’t go on at all. I’m now trying to express milk for him but I’m not sure if I’ve messed up. When I first used the breast pump earlier today I got quite a lot out but now not much. I’m guessing I should leave it for a while? I’m so upset, I have milk, I have a baby who clearly wants to breastfeed but we just can’t.

No honestly, it would be my pleasure - I will contact you with her details. I do agree that some suggestions seem physically impossible with only two hands, definitely raise this when you seek advice from someone. My lovely friend (Lucy Ruddle is her name) is brilliant with emotional support as well as practical help, and can help you find a way to meet your goals rather than impose anything.

I’ll message you now

Have sent you a message. Forgot to say that your breasts are not defective! Your baby is struggling getting them to work but this isn’t unusual and there’s nothing wrong with the equipment - you just don’t have the right instruction manual yet!

I'm on my second baby, he's just turned 15 weeks.

I had the same problem with both babies, loads of milk and baby unable to latch properly. He'd do a few sucks and then slip off. I syringed and cup fed in hospital with my first after 5 days a midwife suggested a nipple shield as my nipples are quite flat. He instantly fed with the nipple shield and I ended up using them for about 6 months and as he got bigger he got the hang of it without them.

With my second we've just managed (at 15 weeks) our first full day of feeds without nipple shields! I'm so glad I trusted my instinct this time round and just went with the nipple shields as the hospital didn't want me to try them even though i explained they enabled me to exclusively breastfeed my first for a year.

I hope you get some support

My little boy had his tongue tie cut and I was expecting an instant fix and was so gutted when I didnt get it. After two weeks he was latching on much better! Keep trying rugby ball hold xx

Thank you. You have all been incredibly patient.

I’m still expressing and I’m just hoping I’ll get to a point where I’m producing enough for surplus feeds. Then it will be okay.

Nipple shields and www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B000WHL2TE/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o00_s00?psc=1these&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8 die to arrive tomorrow, I’m hoping they will help, but if not at least he is getting breast milk.

You will! It’s a big commitment and feels so difficult at first when you’re only getting small amounts but you will see an increase soon. If you really wanted to boost supply you could consider hiring a hospital grade pump for a couple of weeks as they’re much more efficient (Ardo and Medela run a rental service - I used the Ardo hospital grade pumps in NICU and they got me to the point I was producing up to 1.5 litres a day by 4 weeks in, but sadly that went to pot later during a later admission for DT2 where I had to stay in with him for 2 weeks - I was stressed, not sleeping or eating or drinking enough and struggled to pump on the paeds HDU where he was staying, and that meant my supply crashed, so make sure you’re getting enough to eat and drink at least - can’t do much about the sleep when you’re pumping sadly!). Unfortunately those middle of the night pumps are really important for building supply at first but it’s only temporary. Can your partner feed while you pump, if you have one? That’s what we did with the twins once they were both home - DH fed one while I pumped, then one of us fed the other depending on who was more knackered!

You can do it!

Are you going to try and feed with the shields or just pump? Just be mindful the more baby practices the better he'll become. It might be an idea to express for the first once or so to take the hunger off and then try and feed yourself so its not as stressful and baby may be more relaxed?

I wish I could russell but honestly the stress is sky high ... he hates it now. I think he associates it with frustration and hunger and distress.

My Amazon delivery comes tomorrow so once it does I’ll try with the nipple shields when he’s calm and fed but not full. If that doesn’t work, well, it’s the end of the road I think, as I’m out of things to try.

I know exactly how it feels because I've been through everything you have but I promise if you persevere it will get better. I fed till 1 year in the end and went through the same.

@lavenderchocolate have you tired lying on the bed to feed him?

If not I'd give it ago it really helped me when dd was newborn.

Lie on your side (say left just for example) put baby next to you his head level with your breast put your left arm above his head, bend your knees and then with your right hand bring him in to your breast and hopefully he will latch.

I know it's so hard to get a tiny baby into the right positions to feed them with only two hands!

Nipple shields.

Why did no midwife suggest these to me? Baby just fed for an hour and a half. A tiny bit of fussing, but compared to what we had ... anyway!

Here’s to a sleepless night for the right reason!

Oh my god that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you! Let him get used to feeding and then you can phase them out as they’re not the easiest thing to feed with, but once he’s grown a bit and you’re more confident it will be a doddle.

It’s bonkers they don’t suggest them but they’re supposed to be a temporary measure and I think they know that they won’t have the time to support those using them. Terrible really.

Amazing!!! Keep going you amazing mama.

That's great news, so glad they worked!
Buy spares just Incase they disappear, I went through a few! But you won't look back.. now enjoy BF

Ahhhh I’ve been silently reading and cheering you on from the sidelines. I’m over the moon for you!
My baby is 16 days old and nipple shields saved us too!
(Buy another set...it’s handy to have more knocking about!)
Also @SinkGirl your advice is spot on. I cheered a bit when you said about Lucy - I’ve so so much admiration for her work!

She is brilliant :) And so are you OP!

If you don’t already have one I would really recommend a cold water steriliser - you can wash your pump parts and shields, chuck then in with fresh water and a sterilising tablet, it’s all sterile in 15-20 mins and stays that way for 24 hours. So much easier than the steam ones, and great for other things as they get bigger (teethers, small toys they chew etc).

Thanks everyone.

We’ve still had a very unsettled night and although he has breastfed it’s still difficult. He gets frustrated easily still and cries at the breast (why?)

He’s had about 60 ml of formula tonight as when I try to put him back in his Moses basket he just cries and makes hunger cues even when he’s had a massive feed so I don’t know what he’s getting - maybe it isn’t anything like enough.

I definitely can’t foresee feeding without shields.

All night it’s been - breastfeed, falls asleep, put in Moses basket, wakes as soon as put down and cries and makes hunger cues, try to put back on breast, too upset, give formula.

Arrgghh!

This could just be cluster feeding -frequent feeding is how they increase your supply. The more milk he takes from you, the more you’ll make. I know it’s really stressful when your baby is on a feeding plan as when you breastfeed you don’t know how much he’s getting and this can cause anxiety for you. There are other signs to look for to show he’s getting enough milk like wet and dirty nappies, but it’s a good idea to get professional advice on all this so you feel more confident and know what to look for.

You’ve done really well getting the shields and getting feeding started. Now he has to get used to it. it’s harder for them to get milk out of a breast than a bottle - you can make sure you’re doing paced bottle feeding but it will still be more challenging for him. Some find a bit of hand expression first to get the milk going is helpful, even if just a expressing a bit into the shield so he can taste milk immediately.

When establishing feeding, lots of people recommend a feeding “holiday” - spending the day in bed, lots of skin to skin, topless for easy access to feeding, latching as often as you can, etc. Take the pressure off to get shut high else done and just focus on cuddles and feeding.

The issue you're going to have here is what someone has mentioned above....feeding from a bottle is much easier for baby than breastfeeding. Your baby may be getting stressed because he's getting used to the bottle instead of breast. If you are determined to breast feed you need to be careful of this.
Also it could be a reflux, colic type crying rather than hunger. I mistook uncomfort for feeding cues when my baby was newborn. All babies suffer some discomfort due to their digestive system still developing in the first weeks.
I second the feeding holiday as mentioned above and just keep putting to the breast instead of offering bottles.

So glad to hear the nipple shields helped!

The not settling in the cot, waking and wanting more milk (or, at least, more cuddles and sucking) is standard newborn behaviour. Hard work, tiring, but not a concern by itself. I’d third the suggestion to stay in bed with him and have as much time just cuddling and snoozing and looking at your phone as possible, another thing that can be lovely is a bath together (very soothing) but you do ideally need another adult nearby to pass the baby in and out.

DS had tongue tie (snipped), I had inverted nipples and low milk yield. We used nipple shields for the first six weeks. Went on to feed him till he was nearly 3. I’d keep using the nipple shields until he’s much bigger and stronger. I suspect it will also take a while for your milk supply to satisfy him which is probably why he’s fussing. After a few months I could really tell the difference when pumping with a proper let down etc which just didn’t happen early on. Try fenugreek tablets and keep going but if you’re worried he’s hungry supplement. Do make sure you pump regularly to keep supply up. I think it can take a good few weeks to sort itself out so don’t get discouraged. Despite what they say you can go on to successfully breastfeed after initially having to combination feed with bottles.

Sounds like cluster feeding op, both of mine did that for the first two weeks or so. Hang in there, if the nipple sheilds are working, then just keep sticking him on the boob, he's putting his order in for your milk production.

Taken your wins and try not to put too much pressure on yourself.

You've got him latching and feeding with the nipple shields which is great. As mentioned about I've only just managed to feed without them and my boy is 15 weeks.
He fusses a lot, mainly when he's tired. I end rocking and feeding him a lot. Most the time he's just overtired and instead of feeding and falling asleep he fights it and scratches and scrabbled about on me screaming! Its not pleasant. I just have to keep popping him back on and rocking him and eventually he settles. Putting him down is a whole other ball game!

Been quietly watching this and just wanted to say how amazing you are doing.

Sounds like he's now cluster feeding to get your supply up which is brilliant. But, remember, what ever you decide to do will be the right choice as you know your baby best this is all a learning curve for both of you.

I feel for you. It became irritating after 2 months so bub was onto formula. Best decision ever made!