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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Why "choose" to bottle feed???

732 replies

Difers · 13/07/2007 21:08

I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying...

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??

OP posts:
FioFioJane · 16/07/2007 16:11

oh my birtha nnouncement will be boring I imagine. I am having a planned section the day after I am due (well thats the plan unless baby has other ideas) so it will. bay was pulled out, its a boy/girl

I suppose I am a bad mother for having a c-section too. I wonder whether they fill your womb with fish eyes for fun>?

hatrickjacqueline · 16/07/2007 16:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MoosMa · 16/07/2007 16:50

I see this thread has pretty much run its course but I'd just like to add that I'm astonished at the way people have responded to the OP! A lot of people have replied that it's a personal question and nobody's business, but I'm sure if I started a thread about whether or not people got piles after giving birth I would get lots of witty responses, not get told to mind my own!

Also a few people said everyone's entitled to their own opinion and to leave it at that, but surely MN's all about hearing other's views? Otherwise what's the point?

[goes off to start thread about piles]

divastrop · 16/07/2007 17:32

actually,this thread has made me realise that what i thought was an informed choice to ff my last 4 dc,actually wasnt,it was influenced by the fact i failed to bf ds1(hardly suprising when you consider he was a sleep and jaundiced for the first week due to me being pumped full of drugs while i tried to give birth to an LOP baby lying flat on my back,and that ds1 was given a bottle by the mw while i was asleep as he had low blood sugar.they didnt think to wake me).and as i have the attitude of 'if at first you dont succeed,give up,and never try again as you will fail',and nobody ever tried to encourage me to at least try and bf ds2,dd2 and dd3,i can see it was less about choice and more about feeling i had no other option.

Elasticwoman · 16/07/2007 20:43

In other words, Divastrop, your bf experience was sabotaged from even before you gave birth.

lazyemma · 16/07/2007 21:59

MoosMa, surely you can see the difference between a question about why anyone would "choose" to bottlefeed, and a question about piles after birth. The whole breastfeeding/bottlefeeding issue has become massively emotionally and morally loaded. It's a fairly prevalent view on mumsnet at least that if you don't "at least try" to breastfeed, unless you have what others deem to be a sufficiently good reason not to, you're selfishly putting your baby's health and wellbeing at risk. I've seen formula feeding on here variously compared to: beating your child, smoking, and crossing a busy road without looking. Given that, it's hardly surprising that some people are a little defensive about the issue.

alexw · 16/07/2007 22:05

Ok, have only read thread title, but I chose to ff. I knew I was going back to work when dd was 4 months old so was keener to establish good routine with her (and allow dh to feed her ) without having to then after a few weeks switch from breast to bottle. She was a happy and content baby from the outset. Slept through from 6 weeks too.

MoosMa · 16/07/2007 22:17

I know it's a loaded topic, but surely if people want anyone knowing their business they could just not answer?

lazyemma · 16/07/2007 22:38

I guess because some people thought that the OP was rather confrontational in tone...

"I am a breastfeeding mum and I meet lots of mums who said they tried to breastfeed but weren't able to which I can totally understand but My mother-in-law said she "chose" to bottlefeed and didn't bother even trying.

So I am wondering, given the benefits of breastfeeding, why would anyone "choose" to bottlefeed??"

...and so they responded in kind. Which is understandable, I think - hardly astonishing, anyway.

NK35f8bc5aX1132f476df0 · 21/08/2007 20:30

probably a bit late on this thread, but I am slowly giving up bf at 3 month on a very hungry baby and moving to bottles - my baby does 8 oz's easily on each feed, and bf's were always over an hour. Routine and a happy full baby and me not exhausted from bf are important to me. I love the bottles, he is so contented, we have a great routine - he sleeps from 10:30pm till 8:30am each day in his own room, I have lots of time with my husband, my sex life is back and all in all all 3 of us are very happy, and he had 3 months of tons of breast milk and from the medical research I've done he's had the benefits there! Everyone quotes the WHO who are representing women in 3rd world countries lacking hygiene and clean water, - plus they are an incredibly agressive voice for all the horrible vaccinations and MMR so I don't know why everyone thinks they are so caring about the welfare of their babies.

emkana · 21/08/2007 20:31

I could write loads in answer to your post, but you know what?

I just can't be bothered.

NK35f8bc5aX1132f476df0 · 21/08/2007 20:35

well I'd like to hear it - what's the point of just writing what you did - I'd like to say I've made a decision that really works for me and my baby and we're both really happy - isn't that a bit unusual - this website seems to be full of mums unsure of what to do, probably cos they are pressured to do other things by other mums and organisations - so shouldn't we all celebrate when a mum makes it work for herself and family - or should we all be maryters and be unhappy and kill ourselves being earth mothers ...

emkana · 21/08/2007 21:15

Look I'm happy for you that you're happy with your life and your situation.

But I don't like the insinuations that the same happiness couldn't be achieved while breastfeeding.

And I really can't stand to read it again that the WHO speaks only for the 3rd world, because it doesn't.

NK35f8bc5aX1132f476df0 · 21/08/2007 21:23

I am also suspicious of the NCT and other organisations twisting some of the medical research, for example a study of 32,000 scottish children 3 to 4 yrs old found those breastfed for 6 to 8 weeks after birth were 30% less likely to be obese than bottlefed babies - however NCT try to make you feel that if you don't breastfeed your baby for 6 months it will be more likely to be obese when actually the research is for weeks not months. Plus there are a hell of a lot of very educated weathly people born in the UK who attend the top public boarding schools, then go on to cambridge or oxford and then work in the city or become QC's etc. etc. who have all had nannies from day one and therefore never been breastfed so I don't buy the higher intelligence - the omegas in breastmilk help but it's not the only reason for high intelligence.

NK35f8bc5aX1132f476df0 · 21/08/2007 21:26

I never said it couldn't be achieved from bf - but 95% of this website and NCT and WHO and NHS are all so pro pro pro BF - and never mention that it can have it downsides, exhaustion, lack of routine, babies not sleeping through night etc., babies in parents bed - what happened to your marriage there! and I'd just like to stand up for those out there who don't want to do it, or did it and changed or did a bit of both or just didn't want to do it for ages because there doesn't seem to be many people standing up or being a voice for them.

TheThreadExecutioner · 21/08/2007 21:28
divastrop · 21/08/2007 21:30

have you actually read the whole thread?there are some links with great info on.and a discussion that turned into a heated debate that turned back into a discussion which afaik concluded quite nicely.

if you are feeling bad about changing from breast to bottle,then why not start your own thread where you will get lots of support,rather than posting on a dead one?

emkana · 21/08/2007 21:31

I only have one more thing to say really:

I would really choose a catchier name if I was you!

good luck with the bottlefeeding

boogiewoogie · 21/08/2007 21:31

Happy for you to air your positive views on switching from breast to bottle NK...

However, I also feel that what you've just said implies that the same can't be achieved with bfing. I never felt like a martyr for bfing my child for longer than 6 months. I'd also like to stress that bfing and having an active sex life is not mutually exclusive.

boogiewoogie · 21/08/2007 21:37

ah, here we go, the bfing myths all over again!

If you're happy with bottlefeeding then great. But why the need to emphasise on "downsides" of bfing? Experiences vary greatly.

Yes, a lot of mners are pro breastfeeding as are the NCT and health professionals etc. What's wrong with being passionate about it?

tiktok · 21/08/2007 22:35

A very poor idea to revive this thread. The new additions to it are spectacularly unhelpful. Please lets leave it there.

NK35f8bc5aX1132f476df0 · 22/08/2007 10:55

I don't feel bad about switching -bf was just never such a big deal for me - I didn't have the give me 100 points as a mum I can breastfeed! But i did have a hungry baby that was never satisfied on the stuff so I did it for 3 months and still do it just twice a day now to get some of it into him but give him bottle rest of day so he actually does get filled up and everyone is happy. I have just watched so many of my friends get exhausted and made their entire families unhappy with it as they always have crying hungry babies - look I'll stop posting on this site - it's such an exclusive middle class (and yes bf is a class thing) mother earth site with no room for anyone else - enjoy yourselves - you have again excluded another mum who has different views from you on bf and created a website of mums who all just think exactly the same thing. best wishes!

tiktok · 22/08/2007 11:03

Don't be ridiculous, NK....no one is excluding you. You were rightly criticised for reviving a thread that had caused some distress and ill-feeling, and which had died naturally. You can start a new thread, just as anyone else can, but a word in your ear - keep ill-founded assumptions and insults about the people who use the site to yourself, won't you?

JeremyVile · 22/08/2007 11:03

Bye.

(I bottle-fed by the way )

tori32 · 22/08/2007 18:16

After a difficult c/s delivery under GA I still tried to breast feed ( difficult with a large abdo wound and several lines from every orifice sorry if TMI). My lo was very sleepy for several days and although would latch on, she fell asleep after 5 mins so because of the lack of stimulation my milk supply did not arrive until 7 days after the birth. I also had poor advice from midwives and left the baby to sleep when she should have been fed. My dd was 9lb 12oz at birth so by the time my milk arrived she seemed ravenous. I persevered but on one occasion fed her almost constantly for 13 hours. She still cried. I carried on even so and had cracked nipples etc. I was determined to bf. I spent more of that 5 weeks in tears and dreaded every feed. Eventually when my dd was crying after I had bf for 2 hours I decided to give her a bottle. Even after the bf she took 5oz formula down in 10 mins. I was not producing enough milk. I know this is supposed to be a myth, I thought that before I tried. However, it was true in this case. I also think bf and lack of sleep contributed to me having PND.

The good news is I will try again with the benefit of hindsight this time, due March 07 I am pro breast however, its not easy for me and certainly doesn't come naturally as people imply it should.

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