I'm in a state over whether to BF DD or not

[CremeDeSudo]

Can someone help pls?

DD is 9 days old, born at 36wks. Until my milk came in I hand expressed colostrum and topped up with formula. Once my milk came in I started feeding with nipple shields as her mouth is so small and she gets tired easily.

Then she lost 11% of birth weight and MW advised waking to feed every 3-4 hrs, boob then formula top up. Only offer boob during the day(when she's hungriest and most awake), express for other feeds 10 mins on each boob. We've somehow stopped offering the boob at all for fear she's not going to take the formula so I've basically just been pumping twice a day.

She's almost regained her weight now but the plan continues.

Another MW has told me I need to be expressing 10-12 times a day to keep my supply up (which already seems to be dwindling).

I don't know whether to continue with trying to BF. I hate pumping. I really hate it. I loved the feeling of feeding her but now I'm solely pumping and don't know how long I'll have to continue to do so.

Also, I'm really struggling with spending such little time with DS and being unable to hug him due to engorgement.

Selfishly, I also really don't like the way my boobs look, how big they are. The let down pain is horrible. I don't want them to look like deflated balloons in the future. I don't like the leaking and the constant stickiness. I've been desperate to feel like myself again after a shit pregnancy and MMC before that but I don't know if I will if I'm BF'ing.

I think I've decided to stop but then I cry because I still want the closeness etc. And I love that I can settle her instantly. I also have a bad case of baby blues. I wonder if I'm quitting too soon but then I can't face all that pumping either. I'm so torn about what to do and I can't stop crying about it! Can someone tell me what to do pls?

You can hire hospital grade pumps from Ardo and Medela - not cheap but if you’re only going to need it for a month or two it’s cheaper than buying one and the hospital pumps are much more effective:

If you want to buy one, the Ardo Calypso is very good value and an efficient pump - it’s what I used and it took a beating from me!

YY DS definitely fed more frequently than every 3 hours, it should be on demand really.

OP you can hire breast pumps, maybe look into hiring a hospital grade double electric pump?

Alternatively if you want to buy one I recommend the Ardo Calypso, i don’t use mine any more but it served me well (i used to pump once a day or so and also pumped at work when I first went back).

Ha cross posts, great minds!

OK-I'm bowing out now. I tried. Good luck, OP.

One last time, you need to feed, not express. Your baby is fine, nearly back at her birthweight at 9 days. If you want to bf (and it's fine not to), keep her at the breast as much as you can, certainly more often than every 3 three hours. And both breasts every time for as long as she wants. Rest, feed, eat and drink. And good luck.

Sorry I'm of course feeding if shed hungry but if she doesn't wake then it's 3hrs from start of last feed. In reality it's taking about an hr to boob then top up so 2hrs ish from end of last feed to next one.

Thank you for the tip 're expressing - didn't know that! I'm not sure it has both suction and speed settings but will check and investigate other pumps too!

I’d just switch to formula and be done with it. All that pumping sounds horrendous and exhausting for you, and you’ve got to look after another little one as well as yourself and the baby. For me all that effort wouldn’t be worth it just for breast milk but it’s a personal decision x

I mixed fed and used the yellow rubber teats from NUK as they are very slow flow so baby doesn’t get bored trying with the Breast.
As a result I was able to mix feed for over 2 years and it meant I wasn’t knackered and I lost lots of weight breastfeeding (!) which was helpful.
You can get these tests on amazon. The flow is similar to breastfeeding and I think they are much better than avene.

Am also keeping her on me as much as possible however that seems to encourage sleepiness!

You can rent the hospital grade pumps from children's centres around here - ask your HV for info as may be offered in your area? It's subsidised so cheaper than the online companies.

Yes, I found the three hour feeding advice from the hospital strange as I'd been told to feed on demand until then - but it made a difference to us as my milk just hadn't come in.

I don’t think people understand what it’s like when you have a baby who comes off the breast distressed after a long, long feed because they’re still hungry. It’s an extremely distressing feeling. I remember it only too well.

Offering a bottle top up using paced feeding after she’s finished breastfeeding isn’t the end of the world. And ideally her body needs to produce the same amount as she’s giving as top ups, so pumping to remove that much is wise if top ups are being given.

This is a premature baby, they often tire easily at the breast and struggle to latch, which is why so many are tube fed at least for alternate feeds. My boys were born at 35 weeks and they were extremely weak and easily tired.

Exactly. A premature baby with tongue tie is not going to feed efficiently and is going to get tired before its hunger is satisfied.

Until the tongue tie is sorted and the baby puts on a bit of weight, top ups (whether ebm or formula) are probably necessary. And that’s the RL advice the OP got from the breastfeeding support person.

My son was born at 41+4 and he was 9lb4 so he was strong enough to compensate for the tongue tie by feeding constantly. He did keep falling asleep on the boob, he was exhausted bless him, but he did at least have the strength/stamina to keep feeding and putting on weight. What a relief it was though after the snip when it was easier for him!

When my healthier twin came home (at equivalent of 37+4, so similar to your little one) he still had an NG tube and we were told to alternate between oral and ng feeds but he just couldn’t latch properly. He’d latch on, be there for up to an hour until he’s pass out exhausted but as soon as you moved him he’d wake up screaming in hunger. It was awful. Have a look at the flipple latching technique which may help until the tie is sorted. After a feed I’d be soaked in milk, it would just fall out of the other side of his mouth.

Yes it's horrible. She's just has half hr on one boob, came off, 10mins on the other and came off starving. Gave her 2oz, still rooting, doesn't want boob again, offered an oz, had a tiny bit. She's now knackered 😕

I'm literally getting a dribble out of expressing so just pouring it in with her formula top up.

Have a look on Gumtree for a double pump, if it’s a closed system (like the Ardo Calypso) they can be used by someone else as milk can’t get into the system.

Also, how about a hakaa pump? You wear it on your other boob while feeding and it draws milk out and catches What leaks, although maybe tricky if she’s wriggly.

Have you tried some different feeding positions? I found the rugby ball and reclining positions were better for them than cross body.

Oh yes I used a haakaa in the early days too, it worked quite well if I put in on as soon as he latched on, until he got too wriggly that is!

Yes I've seen those. Will get one if I'm carrying on (thinking seeing the consultant is going to make our minds up). I've been using those shells and when I was BF'ing initially I was getting a reasonable amount in there when she was feeding or I was expressing from he other side. Now I'm not getting anything though. 😔

It’s probably because you had stopped breastfeeding and you were only pumping twice a day. Now you intend to feed and pump more your supply should increase and you should get more with a haakaa or similar.

Fwiw the amount I got with my haakaa was variable, sometimes loads and sometimes none at all, mostly about 30ml IIRC.

Yes, I only got a dribble or two (two dribbles from right, one from left!) when expressing initially doing the three hourly feed, top up express cycle. The idea is to stimulate the breasts to make more so it takes a few days for your body to respond (combined with drinking loads of water, eating plenty and lots of rest).

I did it for the four days we were in SCBU and by the end was able to express about 15ml from right and 5ml from the left - I just mixed it in with formula and gave it to her (paediatrician had recommended 40ml top up so I made it up to 40ml with formula). My milk was incredibly delayed though - most women's comes in a lot earlier than mine!

I don't feel like today is going well at all. She's just coming off the breast seemingly starving and is getting over tired and fretful every feeding time 😓

When she feeds can you see her swalllowing? Do her ears move? (strange question, I know) and are you offering both breasts? And when you say feeding time- are you letting her suckle whenever she asks? Or even if she doesn't ask?

TBH OP I don’t think this will be resolved until you see a lactation consultant or tongue tie specialist.

She clearly has trouble feeding or you wouldn’t be in this situation. You are doing the right thing to persevere but as I said before I think it’s a bit of a losing battle until the tongue tie and any other issues are sorted.

Please don’t despair, keep offering the breast and then topping up, and just hang on in there until you can get specialist face to face help

I think you're right NameChange.

She's seems to be swallowing I think. My boobs feel empty after (however they don't feel particularly full to begin with). Offering both boobs.

She's coming off on her own, won't go back on, destroys a bottle, wants to comfort suck (which I let her do) then goes to sleep for approx 2hrs. If keep her on me she'll sleep longer I think as I put her down in order to wake her to feed. If she's rooting I pick her up and put her back on but that's not happening really.

Sounds exhausting

Breastfeeding a tongue tied baby nearly broke me. When it was finally diagnosed at 2.5 weeks I wept with relief that it wasn’t me going crazy, that there was something wrong and we could fix it. I was also heartbroken at the thought that DS had been forced to work so hard for his milk.

You’re doing amazingly, just hang on in there until you can get more help

Just come back on to say you're an inspiration, Creme. What an amazing job you're doing