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Infant feeding

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Daily Mail -"My beautiful baby was starving to death, until I defied the 'breast is best' bullies"

218 replies

theUrbanDryad · 13/05/2007 11:33

i'm not sure what to think here...on the one hand it raises very valid points, but the headline is so inflammatory....

what do you think?

OP posts:
QueenofTwee · 15/05/2007 10:06

I'd be interested to know how she went about breastfeeding and exactly what problems/support she had. Maybe with more support she could have been helped to breastfeed. I too had a c-section baby in special care for 2 days ( 1 month prem) but dd was breastfed all the way, I started off expressing , but was so damn bloody-minded about breastfeeding, am still bfeeding and it's dd's 1st birthday on Thursday.

The blood/ stabbing imagery is a bit OTT imo -

QueenofTwee · 15/05/2007 10:12

One woman in my sister's bfeeding group could not expain how her dd, latching on well, was putting on no weight, a scrawny little thing... Defied doctors and hv's knowledge - they wanted to put her on formula. Wasn't until the expert bfeeding councellor identified that the baby had a tongue-tie, a fairly common problem, that things were resolved.

The baby had the tongue-tie snipped the following day and put on weight beautifully from that point on...

yellowrose · 15/05/2007 10:18

wellie - you say : "IMO there's no evolutionary pressure for BF to be painless, because until very recently (iin evolutionary terms) if you didn't BF your baby would starve, so presumably everyone would have just got on with it".

Yes you have said it. In the days when formula was NOT readily available/relatively affordable, then women HAD to bf no matter what the pain, short-term or long-term, etc. you either did it or your baby literally starved.

I had that attitude when I started to bf. I put the fact that formula exists out of my mind, I pretended it didn't exist. That way I made sure I just got on with it, even though I had excrutiating pain (we got thrush at 3 months) and many other problems along the way. My baby could have "starved" as he would not latch for the first 4 days after birth and no one bothered to tell me it may have been because he was born 17 days early. I persisted and eventually he latched.

If women feel they are being "bullied" into bf, one has to look at the underlying social structure that makes them feel that way in a country that is in fact totally dominated by formula.

I was certainly never bullied into trying ff (never did try it) but the snide remarks from all and sundry would have been enough to make a less confident woman question herself and give up altogether.

The so-called bullying and pressure happens whether you bf or ff. It is a fact of our culture and a telling detail of how crap women are still treated despite decades of "feminism".

anniemac · 15/05/2007 10:23

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anniemac · 15/05/2007 10:28

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anniemac · 15/05/2007 10:29

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yellowrose · 15/05/2007 10:33

there are quite a few historical records actually of women who have written about bf-ing their babies, child birth, etc.

read Gabriel Palmer. she has looked at historical records. there is absolutely no evidence that bf was painful (persistently i mean for many months or years) as a matter of course for every woman who bf.

the fact is for most women worldwide it isn't painful. don't forget we live in a culture that is not skilled in bf.

go to countries where women bf as a matter of course (i have been to several) they don't talk about bf being such hard work, because in cultures were it is done routinely the minute the baby is born, were co-sleeping and baby-carrying is the norm, etc. it is seen as the thing you do with a baby, so of course it is not seen as hard work.

OrmIrian · 15/05/2007 10:49

Oh no, yellowrose - i specifically said that it was only for a short time. Not months of years. God forbid! But during that time it did hurt.

tiktok · 15/05/2007 10:53

anniemac - you are right, sometimes formula is necessary to treat low blood sugar.

You're wrong to say the only alternative is i/v glucose. If the baby can breastfeed effectively, or the mother can express breastmilk effectively, then there would only very rarely be any need for formula. After all, if all the baby needs is milk to prevent/treat the condition, the mother has the milk there already.

I can understand though with your own experience, you would want to be very sure of avoiding any consequences of low blood sugar, and may have been advised to give formula. What I say above is really general info and I am not intending it to apply to you as an individual...hope yu understand

chocolatte · 15/05/2007 10:53

Article made me very angry but it did raise some good points.

Tiktok - I also found bf extremely painful and got lots of help. I expected it to hurt because of experiences of family and friends. For 1st week it was fine but when she latched on - agony. I stamped my foot on the ground and cried out for weeks. Couldn't feed in public because of my involuntary noises rather than display. However I was absolutely determined to do it and knowing that it wasnt going be easy helped me to stick with it. I would have felt a complete failure if unable to bf but that was because it was so important to me and I had read lots about it.

Mears - totally agree with everything you hav said!

tiktok · 15/05/2007 10:55

chocolategirl - rich women have used wet nurses in many societies over the centuries.

It is a social/cultural thing - feeding babies was akin to washing floors or tilling fields, and they didn't do it.

It also meant they were fertile again very quickly - part of the reason for the disastrous serial pregnancies/miscarriages/stillbirths of the eighteenth century aristocracy.

Nothing to do with pain.

chocolatte · 15/05/2007 11:00

"why do we think it normal for women to keep lactating for their children for months/years at a time when animals do it for an allotted stint then move on?"

I'm really not having a go but...we are the only animals that drink another animals milk!

Also I have cringed when I've been out with friends and they have talked about how proud they are to still be bf and 'havent we done well' in the company of bottles. But I know for sure that they didnt mean any offence so I think most of the bullying is actually from within. I personally found more pressure to ff and wean especially when the baby got older.I am very proud to still be bf my little one and it's only because I got such great help from nct counsellor and midwife led facilty that I was able to keep going. (I checked myself in after a few days because I was concerned that she wasnt getting enough milk.)

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:01

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dueat44 · 15/05/2007 11:03

It doesn't help that there are mixed messages from medical staff. I had some very helpful midwives (some not so helpful), but the reaction of the paediatricians who breezed in once a day was 'your baby has jaundice, she MUST be fed every three hours, formula if she doesn't latch on'. Then they breezed off again , their a*ses covered. Well dd wouldn't latch on effectively for 9 days, so i expressed and she gradually came to latch on properly over the next few weeks. But she could very easily have been a formula baby.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:04

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IcingOnTheCake · 15/05/2007 11:10

I read that artical that was in the mail on Sunday. I agreed with her because IMHO breastmilk is the absolute best thing you can do for your baby however, if you decide not to bf or you are having difficultys and decide to go to formula, you should not be made to feel like you have decided to feed your baby rat poison. I had alot of trouble with bf and decided to ff and by certain people, usually old skool style people (like my mil) was faced with THAT attitude and they were trying to bully me into doing it even though when my dd lached on she would swollow my blood and sick it up again.

I have nothing against bf and know its the no1 thing you can do for your baby but i don't think midwives or hv or family should make you feel bad or bully you into doing it if you don't want to.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:14

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OrmIrian · 15/05/2007 11:29

anniemac - I tend to agree to a certain extent. All my kids were over the 'normal' weight limit for newborn babies (10 4, 9 6 and 10 4) and DS#1 especially had low blood sugar. If told that I had to FF him I would probably have done so although unwillingly. Which was one of the reasons I have so much respect for the MWs and breast-feeding counsellor who encouraged and helped me so much. He did end up having some formula but not when new-born.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:40

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tiktok · 15/05/2007 11:42

annie - I did explain I was talking generally, and that you were not to take my post as a comment on your own individual situation. I don't think I could have made it clearer.

anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:42

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anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:43

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anniemac · 15/05/2007 11:45

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OrmIrian · 15/05/2007 12:09

Ah... I have noticed quite a few creative spelling of my 'name' from many posters but I am sure I do the same with others.

tiktok · 15/05/2007 12:34

You weren't rude, annie, you just took my post as meaning 'you' when I said it didn't

You aren't saying that every baby should have formula at birth, are you.......?

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