Daily Mail -"My beautiful baby was starving to death, until I defied the 'breast is best' bullies"

[theUrbanDryad]

i'm not sure what to think here...on the one hand it raises very valid points, but the headline is so inflammatory....

what do you think?

great article - appalling headline - which is a shame because the article has some interesting things to say.

Pressure to bf is not the problem it is the lack of support. I felt pressure to bf but only in a positive way if that makes sense. Support with bf is a whole other story...

I must agree with Connie though that I never felt any pressure one way or the other how to feed my babies, it was my solely my choice and didn't get treated any differently because of those choices.

Haven't read all this thread. I do think there is a lot of pressure out there for women to BF, and a lot of women certainly feel that they have failed (not all) if they do not BF or god forbid top up with formula. My situation is that DS 2 certainly would have been hospitalised due to dehydration/wieght loss i the first weeks of his life if I hadnt have topped up with formula. He had was slightly jaundiced and would fall asleep at the breast after a couple of minutes. Only to wake up 10 mins later, feed and fall asleep again within minutes. On about day 7 when he had slept all day and barely eaten we took him to hospital and he had lost 10% any more he would have been admitted, and most likely breastfeeding would have come to a complete end. The only thing that prevented this weight loss in the early days was topping up. I managed to mixed feed for 6 months.

It was me that made myself feel guilty i think, as many friends were feeding very well.

I culdnt get a ocunsellor to come to me when I ahd problems with ds1 (unsurprsingly, it was Millenium weekend it got bad) and unfortunately the group was closed for the season. These days though i wouldnt be able to access a group anyhow, so I'd be stuck there instead.

I think it's pretty safe to say that there aren't many in the NHS who actually know all that much about breastfeeding.

Only the ones who actually care about it will inform themselves decently, given that it's not compulsory to learn about it in any great detail or keep yourself current, even as a midwife.

So when women are told to top up, it's usually because nobody knows how to support breastfeeding to continue and it's pretty easy to tell a woman to give her baby a bottle.

"Give him a bottle" - see, piece of piss to say it.

But, God, what a phrase to hear. I know, I heard it the day DS2 was born. And given that I breastfed my first for 17m, have supported other women to bf, am passionate about women getting the support they need to carry on and knew I could bf DS2, it was still a kick in the guts, I can tell you.

Tell me about that one! When ds3 was born tit was at 3am

By 6am they had me advising other women on latch (as my BFI course was above anything they had- they were waiting for funding to come through, and it was all agency staff and students)

I always think it must be hard for midwives and health visitors to get the balance right between promoting breastfeeding and knowing when to advise supplementing/stopping. After all, most women do want to try to breastfeed, and even if they don't really consider breastfeeding during pregnancy, after birth they may find they want to keep it up if they try it. So when to tell somebody to give formula supplements must be so difficult as I'm sure many new mothers will feel like a failure, but then again everybody will want the best for the baby if there are problems. Articles like this one are anecdotal, but obviously awful for the mum involved.

hm that it is not compulsory for a midwife to keep up with breastfeeding awareness, I really thought it was.

spot on, hunker.

Like Aitch, I hadn't read up on potential bf problems pre-birth of ds as I was so terrified of 'tempting fate' and something going wrong. At one level I also assumed bf would happen 'naturally'. ds's was a difficult birth, but I genuinely believe the aftercare b*ggered it up for us - nobody told me how often (i.e. often) I needed to be feeding, they had me test weighing after every feed and writing it down (FFS), and on day 3 with him showing signs of mild jaundice I was told to top up 'if I wanted him to be well' (didn't stop him having to have phototherapy another 2 days later ). That I could express, I was only told more than 24 hours later. At some point after that ds started refusing to feed from me at the majority of feeds, and I had a total of 4 weeks of mixed feeding, desperate expressing and dreadful upset and guilt, before managing with considerable MN help and encouragement to get him off the bottles and onto exclusive bf.

I think most health professionals are inadequately trained to spot a bf experience going wrong or how to remedy it, and it just must seem a lot easier (with the best of intentions) to say 'give him/her a bottle'. This then reinforces the general idea that bf is difficult, something for a dedicated elite, and of course the 'Breast is Best' message turns sour in the ears of mothers.

It's so much easier to print leaflets than to put a real commitment of resources behind bf. Current policy is a bit like putting a big notice saying 'Security is good' on a house and leaving all the doors and windows unlocked.

They should never (well only in cases of extreme acuteness but not the sort we're talking about herre) tell people to FF.

Allowing and supporting women to reach that decision themselves is another thing entirely of course, but they shouldn't be telluing women to FF

Now, there is a point in supporting someone at which you have to listen and allow women to decide for themselves in an accepting environment and thats a learned skill i think, understanding when women are despearate to continue or despearte to stop and struggling to self- validate their own decision, but in most cases thats not likely to be on the immediate post natal ward.

(Berolina, I've emailed you - at blardy last!)

I think that, had I had the "support" I got with DS2 with DS1, he'd have been ff and I'd have been one of the most vocal "don't you dare make women feel guilty about their choices" woman out there - because I'd have felt so bloody guilty.

Peachy, exact words of the midwife:

"His blood sugars aren't where we want them to be. You'll have to top up"

My somewhat dopey postnatal response:

"With what?"

pmsl hunk, and i'd have been right behind you shouting ''choices'? wtf do you mean 'choices'?'

Crap isn't it HM? bt they simply don't have time to put in the lsitening / talking etc that proper support requires.

Actually nobody suggested I should consider FF DS1 I ahd to work out that out for myself, (I suspect Cerys Grewcock of the Unicer BFI team working there atm influenced that!) but after discharge from MW there didnt seem to be anyone bar a string of temp HV's (and there wasnt even an HV with ds3, she was on sick with no cover) to talk to, and I really needed to as I worked myself into a complete state, and I suspect that panic was the primary cause behind me giving up at 4 weeks with ds2. With ds3 I was ar more relaxed 'this'll either work or not, either way we'll both be OK'- and Lo! it worked!

Totally crap - they need more money to employ more staff, and staff who actually care about supporting bf and to inform women what they have a right to expect from the maternity staff at their booking appointment and throughout their antenatal care.

I honestly had no clue that she meant formula though - I drew myself up to full mouse-height and said, "Well, that's not happening" and asked her to bring me a sterile syringe and bung for the end so I could hand express. She brought me the electric pump, so I asked her again for a syringe. She told me I needed to hand-express "at least 30ml, probably more like 50ml" colostrum. Idiot woman

i was made to feel guilty by my xp when i wanted to stop bf(probably cos i may have been spending some of his precius beer money on fromula,or,god forbid,might have expected him to feed the baby sometimes!).

i too wasnt told about potential problems with bf,the message i got at ante-natal classes was 'its what breasts are designed for so its easy to do',and when i found it hard work i assumed it was cos i was a complete faiure(plus a mw told me ds1 was having problems latching on because my 'equipment want up to scratch'ie my norks were too big and saggy).

looking back maybe with the right support and encouragement i may have carried on longer,and maybe tried bf my other babies.but that experience put me off for life.

How did he make you feel guilty, DS?

30 or 50ml of colostrum??? 'Kinell.

We had a session in skool the other day about hand expressing and were told to use a 1ml syringe... Sounds a little more realistic, doesn't it?

Admittedly the hospital where I had DS was not particularly pro breast feeding, but I was aware enough to have that immediate skin to contact, etc, and to try and feed asap. When I came home from hospital I sort out BF support groups etc. as from previous experience I knew I would need support. However no one ever managed to explain to me how I could keep DS awake long enough for him to have a proper feed. Even at 5 months this was still happening. I would hate to think what would happened if formula wasn't available. One nutty mummy that's for sure.

Snaf, yep.

I told her colostrum wasn't the same as formula and she perhaps was thinking of the amount of SMA she'd want him to have.

She's already tutted and rolled her eyes at me.

Although I did find a big syringe useful, rather than a 1ml one - colostrum is oily stuff and clings rather to whatever you put it in - I expressed directly into the top of the syringe as I tried doing it into a pot, but wasted too much getting it out and into the syringe [sob]

I couldn't help yelling out while reading this 'you were trying to feed a newborn EVERY FOUR HOURS, no bloody wonder the milk supply wasn't establishing'.

Poor woman but this is typical daily mail twaddle that no doubt my MiL will be ringing me about as an excuse to discuss the fact that I'm still breastfeeding our seven month old

I was feeding my newborn every hour for ten hours a day for the first couple of days. That really made sure I had plenty of milk.

I bf continually for three days to start with, then every two hours for six weeks. I was pretty psychotic but I certainly have a lot of milk now!

same here - think ds was permanently attached to me for the first 8 weeks or so! my boobs are now bigger than his head! (well, actually they always were....)