Daily Mail -"My beautiful baby was starving to death, until I defied the 'breast is best' bullies"

[theUrbanDryad]

i'm not sure what to think here...on the one hand it raises very valid points, but the headline is so inflammatory....

what do you think?

ridicolous , sensationalist headline

ok, breastfeeding did not work for her...but might it had done, if she had been kept in hospital longer, to recover from her c.s, and given breastfeeding support?

or discharged and given the numbers for ABM, NCT, LLL and local breastfeeding cafes and clinics?

or given help, support and patient nurturing?

patently points to massive deficiencies in the support available to new mums ...

i agree with mears. it seems that it is a lack of post natal care that wa the problem. the government needs to sort out matermity care in alot of places and unfortunately midwives are so busy they dont always have time to help with feeding issues.

maybe the NHS could look at employing breastfeeding counsellors to work in the hospitals and even in the community by paying a visit with the midwife to a recently discharged breast feeding mum. this would take the pressure off the midwives and ensure that someone knowledgeable is on hand to help with any BF problems.

As for clare byam cook, we all know who she works closely with, enough said!!!

Thanks mears.

Can i ask how you even start going about finding BF support groups/councellors etc

We are gonna be skint when this baby arrives, so cant afford to pay out for a lot of "expert advice"

I guess all i really want this time is a MW who CARES and WANTS to help. My last MW discharged me from her care after 6 days!

Exactly lulumama well said

agree with everything mears said.

Don't blame the 'Breast is Best' campaign.

You need support in the early days to BF successfully. THAT is what is missing here.

vnmum - what do you mean abour clare byam cook?

The breastfeeing mothers support group have a great free online discussion forum which I found VERY helpful when I was heaving difficulties with DD2. They also have a telephone helpline. Are la leche league active in the UK? I know when I was in Singapore they offered coffee mornings and had counsellors who would visit for a nominal fee. Maybe your MW would be able to help - I know in some areas there are breastfeeding "cafes" i.e drop in sessions. Some doulas will also do breastfeeding support as a stand alone thing.

national telephone numbers for BF support

Association of breastfeeding mothers

0870 401 7711

Breastfeeding network

0870 900 8787

La Leche League

0845 120 2918

NCT

0870 444 8708

she works closely with a certain person MN had recent legal issues. i may be wrong but from what i gather she advises four hourly breastfeeds which is not what all the breastfeeding support groups reccommend for establishing a good milk supply

Gingerbear - I do agree, but from personal experience I had LOADS of support with DD1 including a doula, a supportive DH, and a private lactation consultant and I still never managed to bf DD1. A combination of factors - lack of confidence (mine), a long birth including DD being suctioned, flat nipples, tongue tie, and I could go on. I chose to pump for the first 8 weeks but it was bloody hard work. I was in a very different place with DD2 - homebirth, much more relaxed, more confident, etc, and bingo! We managed it. Still not without problems, but at least we got off to a good start. Anyway, it was not lack of support that was the issue, it was what was going on in my head at the time compounded by the physical problems we were having. I am VERY pro bf but it really does not work for everyone no matter how much support they have. And completely agree this article is not helpful, crap journalism and sensationalist but then it is the Daily Mail.

So many areas are phasing out postnatal visits or bringing them down to the bare minimum that before very long I fully expect to hear of this kind of story but with a dead baby at the end of it

i agree thats its sensationalist.i had a horrendous time bf ds1,and was made to feel like a failure,but i received no support whatsoever.i chose to ff my 2nd baby,and was made to feel terrible by the mw's,i was totally left to my own devices and nobody once asked if i needed any help with anything.

i wish every hospital was like my local one now,where i had my last 3 babies.they activley encourage bf,have bf support workers coming into the ward,and dont let women go home untill they feel comfortable with bf.

but if you choose to ff,they will show you how to make bottles,steralise equioment etc and are totally non-judgemental.

i think that no-pressure approach encourages more women to bf,theres certainly been a rise in bf here in the last few years.

JARM - your midwife and health visitor should have the contact numbers for all the local support available. You do not need to pay for any of it. Your midwife should also offer you a breast feeding workshop antenatally. You should get free leaflets giving you breastfeeding information too.

There is a great little book written by a friend of mine which is useful too. It is advertised on mumsnet.

I tried several support group numbers and only one woman got back to me and her advice was very vague. I think the best support is for the midwife or health visitor to watch how you breastfeed and then to see whether baby is satiated after. I breastfed ds for nearly 8 months but it was stressful. He fed far too frequently and did not seem satiated after. He would also feed for a very long time. He was constantly on my breast. I would try breastfeeding again but I would not put myself or a child through that again. The breast is best campaign miss the point that many many mothers want to breastfeed (I think they start off with the premise that we don't)what makes them think about stopping is the real problem and that is when support and intervention should come in. The time and money is put into pushing the idea rather than on supporting women to do it. That is my experience anyway (ds nearly 3) Oh and I was discharged the day after I had him and no one was sure I had cracked it as the breast feeding woman visited when ds was sleeping.

I agree that it is sensationalist crap, but I also agree with what is said about lack of bf support postnatally (or any care for that matter!).

I have had 2 sections. The last one which was 3 years ago I checked myself out of the hospital against medical advice after two days as the care was so god aweful. During the time I was in there, the appallingly aweful things I saw and heard that would have gone under the heading "breastfeeding support" still make me angry to this day.

As a breastfeeding counsellor, I speak to new mums all the time who have given birth in that same hospital as I did and nothing has changed.

If you feel strongly that things need to change, including more training for health professionals like midwives to be able to give GOOD breastfeeding support, then please please please sign up to the Breastfeeding Manifesto that is working hard to change the very things you are all discussing.

Hmm... interesting. I had problems bfing at first and got lots of support... here on MN.

In rl, the community mw advised at least topping up with formula or giving up all together, my hv told me ds wasn't putting on enough weight... until I found out the chart in my red book was for a ff baby, and managed to get the chart changed. Dh and mil were trying to push me to give ds formula because of all the problems, if anything I felt more "bullied" by all of them than any bfing advocate.

I've never met a "breast is best bully", in fact most of my rl friends have ff and tbh think I'm a bit odd for bfing (not in a nasty way I hasten to add, just in a "oh it's Mossy being a hippy again" way).

I suppose it just goes to show how everyone's experiences are different.

for JARM

Click on the picture of the book - Breastfeeding, the essential guide.

"Formula milk has its benefits; for a start it can be standardised, and all the vitamins and minerals can be added at the correct doses so the dose to the infant is independent of the mother's nutritional intake (ie if the mother isn't eating correctly, nor will the baby).

There is one very important thing about breast milk though - it contains the colostrum which is the antibodies to disease which passively vaccinate babies and stops them becoming ill in the first few days after birth. It also contains whilte blood cells to kill off infection.

So, certainly for the first few days after birth, breast feeding is essential for at least some of the time but after than, you can use formula milk quite safely.

• Dr A Caldicott, Palmerston North, New Zealand"

Christ...what a moron.

also for JARM this is the association of breastfeeding mothers online forum here

useful website

What a shite, sensationalist article.

How i wish i knew then what i know now!

If only i'd been online 9 years ago

This is an interesting debate for me. We're ttc (not very successfully atm but who knows) and I have no idea what i'll do for feeding. I BF all three boys, but ds1 didnt thrive at all- was intol of casein- and his weight became dangerously low, it tok soya to 'save' him. DS2 ditto, ds3 I amnaged to feed until 16 months but he also needed Paed follow up through low weight gain. Yet I know about the benefits of feeding and indeed how to feed- did the Unicerf BFI course before DS3 was born and was going to train as ABM Counsellor but decided coulnt do that and Uni. Its something that will need a lot of thought, as the chances of inherited casein intolerance are quite good ime- I ahve it, and 2 / 3 ds's. I will definitely feed colustrum, of course, and give it a go (and hopefully feed as well as ds3 did) but I am aware of the downsides.

With DD I tried and tried to BF but just didn't produce enough milk to satisfy her, I was feeding most of the day and it was very upsetting. She was topped up from birth with formula (advised by my very lovely midwife) and after 8 weeks she advised me to stop because I was getting so upset about it. I felt like a complete failure and had terrible PND (which I only really got over many years later). When I had DS I decided I wasn't going to go down that road again and didn't even try to BF. There's no doubt BFing is a better (and much cheaper) option but it's not for everyone. But, God, the world makes you feel like you are some kind of neglectful mother for formula feeding and you have to justify yourself constantly. It's almost like you are feeding your baby a bottle of coke or some sort of poisonous rubbish! All I know is that I have 2 happy, healthy kids and I know I do a pretty good job of being a mum.( but noone's a super mum, and noones perfect - despite some mothers thinking they are) I don't regret making the decision not to try to BF with DS, and I wish I'd stopped sooner with DD instead of beating myself up about it and thinking I was useless. I have come across some really smug mothers that have looked down their noses at me for formula feeding whilst their LOs are suckling away, which makes me both angry and upset. There's a lot of snobbery attached to BFing sometimes, which is wrong, there should be more understanding for those that make the decision not to, for whatever their reasons. Sorry, rant over!