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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

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Original poster

To knock breastfeeding on the head?

95 replies

DarkRoomDarren · 03/04/2018 11:22

I have a 10 week old baby. We have been doing a mixture of bfing and feeding expressed milk from a bottle (due to poor latch / baby completely refusing to latch quite early on). Occasionally, (usually every few days), we have to use formula, as we run out of breast milk and he’s still hungry after breastfeeds. He hasn’t settled for longer than about 20 minutes after a breastfeed and, usually, it’s even sooner than that when he is hungry again.

I’ve noticed that, the more I bf him, the more we need formula; I was making a concerted effort to bf more this weekend. This meant I got less milk when I pumped and we ended up using more formula.

Aibu to think this is stupid and I should just continue pumping and forget about bfing? I had wanted to ebf, but he just doesn’t settle after I feed him.

Dh thinks I should go the other way now and stop pumping, just bf and accept that he’ll have to have formula after every feed, but I don’t really see the merit in that.

Currently, I have to be in the house to pump, as I use a big, hospital grade, double pump. I do this three times a day, plus one in the night. I think dh thinks I’ll be able to get out and about more if I stop pumping, but bfing, followed by a formula top up every feed isn’t exactly easy on the hoof either.

Any thoughts? Many TIA.

OP posts:

MissBax · 03/04/2018 11:26

Have you been to a breastfeeding drop in??

I BF but only cos I was lucky enough that DD latched right away with minimal effort. Honestly if I was going through what you are I'd just FF. It's already been 10 weeks and it sounds very stressful.

flumpybear · 03/04/2018 11:27

From my own experiences of bf and combi feeding, i'd go with what makes you happiest as well as your baby. I found that i EBF my first child for 6 weeks approx and then i combi fed after that for a further few months, and that worked well for us. i hated bf anyway, so didn't feed bad stopping. if what you're currently doing works for you then carry on, don't worry too much about your husband as it's really you that's putting the leg work in by expressing

freakydeakydo · 03/04/2018 11:27

I'd give him the formula. It's not poison and if it meant I wasn't chained to the house pumping then I'd be all for it.

I FF my DS and he's a pretty normal three year old....despite the fact that MN seems to think formula is the work of the devil

MissBax · 03/04/2018 11:28

Just to add... What makes you think DC needs formula after bf?? If it's that he's still hungry that's very normal and is likely just putting his order in and/or having a growth spurt. When DD was that age she was constantly attached to my tits! I think we underestimate how much bf babies need to feed.

Pengggwn · 03/04/2018 11:28

I would do whatever made me feel happiest. There is no right or wrong answer.

Vickylou78 · 03/04/2018 11:28

How long are the breastfeeding sessions? Both breasts? I would personally get some advice from a local breast feeding support group or counsellor as in theory the more you pump and the more you bf your supply should go up and you shouldn’t need formula at all. Is baby gaining weight ok. I’d seek some advice if they aren’t.

Vickylou78 · 03/04/2018 11:32

But equally as well as my comment it’s totally ok if you want to stop bf. No judgement here. But get some help if you think you’ll regret stopping. I stopped at 12 weeks as I was struggling and miserable and kept getting thrush and mastitis.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2018 11:35

Do whatever you prefer, yourself, not what your husband wants you to do or what you think you ought to do.

If expressing and breastfeeding are making you miserable then stop. Most babies in the UK are either partially or fully formula fed at this age. Your baby has had 10 weeks of breastmilk which is a lot more than most do. Don't stop suddenly, there's less risk of mastitis if you wind it down gradually. Replace one feed every few days with a formula feed, until you're fully formula feeding.

If you do want to continue with some breastfeeding then you can do as much as you want to and give formula the rest of the time.

If you want to move to fully breastfeeding then you can. You'd need to stop offering formula and directly breastfeed instead until your supply has caught up with your baby's demand. Assuming your baby doesn't have any issues transferring milk, such as tongue tie.

MorningsEleven · 03/04/2018 11:35

I BF DC1. DC2 was tube fed initially so we never established BF. Formula feeding was so much easier and gave me more freedom.

Original poster

DarkRoomDarren · 03/04/2018 11:35

Thanks all.

He’s gaining weight well.

He settles really well after a bottle of breast milk but not after breastfeeding. Also, if I skip a pumping session and try to breast feed instead, I get horribly leaky, lumpy, sure boobs, even if I have him on and off pretty much constantly. This makes me think he isn’t as efficient as the pump at getting out the milk? I know it’s meant to be the other way round, but it doesn’t seem that way for us.

I’ve been to bf drop in twice, referred by them to the tongue tie clinic twice and sent home twice as they say no real TT. I’ve also had a gp check for TT and she also said nothing serious enough to interfere with feeding. Not really sure what they’ll offer if I go back to drop in. Maybe I’ll go next week...

OP posts:

Mammyloveswine · 03/04/2018 11:36

I would go to a breastfeeding support group if you can, they'll be able to advise on continuing to pump or to combi feed or how to cut down breastfeeds gradually (to avoid blocked ducts and mastitis) if you decide you do want to switch.

Your supply will have dropped because of all the top up feeds which is why your baby was feeding a lot, they do so to put their order in

At the end of the day you've given your baby an amazing start so do what is best for you! There's no shame in formula feeding, it is there to be used if breastfeeding doesn't work out.

Pumping is hard work!

Original poster

DarkRoomDarren · 03/04/2018 11:36

Oh I DEFINITELY can’t stop pumping ‘cold turkey’. If I miss a pump session I’m soaked through and in pain (attractive).

OP posts:

Original poster

DarkRoomDarren · 03/04/2018 11:38

Your supply will have dropped because of all the top up feeds which is why your baby was feeding a lot, they do so to put their order in

Interesting... so is that why my boobs never really emptied when he was bfing a lot? Is it a supply boost thing?

OP posts:

Mammyloveswine · 03/04/2018 11:38

Just seen your update, bottles are easier for a baby as they dont have to work as hard to get the milk. Sounds like he's getting a bottle preference..i find lots of skin to skin (ie feeding lo in the bath) helps calm and settle him.

Like i say tho don't feel bad AT ALL if you do switch!

Crabbitstick · 03/04/2018 11:40

Are latch issues fixed? Is he draining breastfeeding fully? Are you winding? Any concerns about reflux?
There's a big growth spurt at 10 weeks, I literally fed for hours (and had a good supply).
What are you doing through night? Night feeds are essential for establishing your supply.
I would be speaking to La Leche League before making any changes if you are keen to continue BF. I would also prioritise BF over pumping just now.

Bobbiepin · 03/04/2018 11:40

If you are desperate to bf I would quit pumping, hunker down on the sofa and let baby increase your supply. It'll be a tough week but your body should catch up.

Personally though I would go with formula. You're putting in so much work and probably not getting the rewards from it. Enjoy your baby.

BertieBotts · 03/04/2018 11:42

If you want to increase your supply when BF then you need to keep going with the BF and try to go with that before offering anything else, even if it's only been a short time since the last feed. I'd recommend expressing before a feed, but your breasts getting empty (nb: they are never truly empty to the baby) is a good thing as it will tell your body to keep making more milk. If you want to keep going it's worth looking up about supply and demand and also getting your baby assessed for tongue tie. Try offering both breasts and then going back to the first one again. Breast compressions can increase the flow to make it more like a bottle. You can also make the bottle less rewarding by feeding the baby in an upright (sitting) position with the bottle horizontal so that gravity doesn't help them and they need to suck. If you have some time spare, do a bit of a babymoon where you do skin to skin and just offer the breast about every 10 minutes for as long as you can stand, this mimics cluster feeding, which should also boost supply.

That said totally if you're fed up, stop! There's no requirement to keep going, and it would certainly be the simpler option (hence why no paragraph of advice!) It's your body, your choice.

Original poster

DarkRoomDarren · 03/04/2018 11:42

Are latch issues fixed? Is he draining breastfeeding fully?

God no and God no! It’s more of a hobby for him.

At night I pump last thing before bed, get up and pump when I feel I need to, (often in the wee small hours, just before the baby wakes), pump while dh feeds the baby and then we all go back to sleep. I then pump again in the morning.

OP posts:

BertrandRussell · 03/04/2018 11:43

Ha e you tried just bf on demand and not pumping at all for a day or so? If you can, just go to bed with the baby and the remote control. It sounds as if you and he are out of sync- doing that might “reset” you both.

HumptyD93 · 03/04/2018 11:43

Its so difficult isnt it.
My dd refused to latch on, yet devoured a bottle of breastmilk in seconds. I tried to bf, I pumped and topped up with formula as I jsut wasnt pumping enough to fill her. She would hardly settle. After about 2 weeks I gave up and just gave her formula, she was a completely different baby, happier and settled and I was able to sleep rather than be up pumping every few hours.

Do what you feel is right for you and your baby.

PasstheStarmix · 03/04/2018 11:44

I say do what makes you the happiest. Happy Mum equals happy baby. I wish I hadn’t have spent the entire first six months of ds’s life stressing about breastfeeding and pumping as I can get that time back. I’d do things differently with a second. Good luck op on which ever you decide.

PasstheStarmix · 03/04/2018 11:44

can’t *

SecretBum · 03/04/2018 11:44

It doesn't sound like any problem with your supply, just that he's starting to prefer a bottle.

I would be tempted to ditch pumping cold turkey tbh and be prepared to spend a couple of days with him permanently attached to you.

I quickly realised pumping was not for me tbh - too much faff, too much time. I gave ff top ups after bf if it seemed like he needed it and am still mixed feeding now at 10 months.

AssassinatedBeauty · 03/04/2018 11:45

What are the problems with the latch?

MiniDoofa · 03/04/2018 11:45

I did formula top ups for all three of mine. Just never had enough milk. (Cue all of MN with reasons as to why, mainly my fault no doubt) anyway, worked fine for all of us. FFing would allow you to get out more by the sounds of it, but only you can know whether that's important to you. It was really important to me for my own mental health, but everyone is different.
Enjoy your baby. Do what makes you both happy. Good luck OP.

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