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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Anyone else made to feel like a paedophile for breastfeeding past 6 months!

223 replies

cruisemum1 · 23/04/2007 16:47

getting miffed at peoples attitudes to bf past the 'required' 6 months. ds is only 7 mths ffs! makes me feel they think i'm a freak! grrrrrrr

OP posts:
amijee · 24/04/2007 22:00

Hi cruise glad the nights are still good!

My ds is 9 mths old and i'm working approx 11 hr days and give him 2 breast feeds a day. I agree with someone who said they couldn't see the point of stopping at this stage as it gets so much easier ( boy...those early days were tough)

I was in a bar recently and a woman came up to me and said how nice it was to see an older child being breast fed. It was a sweet thing to say but all I thought was - he's just a baby and not even that old!! I guess it's a reflection of how little it is seen in anything other than the infant stage.

My attitude towards extended breastfeeding has changed a lot since I had my baby and realise it's totally a choice for a mum and her child and what's best for their family.

IcingOnTheCake · 24/04/2007 22:01

It's just me, i find it strange thats all that a toddler and even a pre-schooler would still be drinking milk from mums breast. Yes there are many health benefits but there are many health benefits in a good diet too. I realise that all mums want their children to be healthy but when do you give up, when the kids gone to school?

amijee · 24/04/2007 22:04

out of interest, why would you choose one as a cut off IOTC?

and why give my HUMAN child COW's milk?

NoNickname · 24/04/2007 22:04

Ds is 3.5. I intend to let him self-wean, which nased on averages around the world is likely to be between 4 and 7.

I went through a tough stage recently when I wanted to give up, but realised that it was just his last few teeth coming through and this was making him a right PITA. Am firmly back with my intentions again.

nachomama · 24/04/2007 22:05

Keep the faith cruise. you're doing well. the grumpy sods who give you looks/ comments matter nothing alongside your lovely LO. i never thought I'd keep going this long (10 months) but it seems right for my DS. i am very body conscious normally but have kind of thought f-it when it comes to BF in public. if you are happy, baby happy- who cares if anyone else is happy about your decision?

NoNickname · 24/04/2007 22:05

based not nased

emkana · 24/04/2007 22:05

Oh IOTC, big sigh again...

I'm not getting into this old argument again, has been done so many times on here. (Having said that I'll probably be posting again later anyway. )

Why is it strange to you? Because you see the breast as something sexual? Or why?

My dd's both stopped b/feeding at just over two years of age, with very gentle encouragement from me, but really of their own accord.

IcingOnTheCake · 24/04/2007 22:07

Why give a HUMAN cows milk? Well your most HUMANS do drink cows milk you know. Or have i missed something?

emkana · 24/04/2007 22:08

Funnily enough, there are many cultures I believe where cow's milk is never used as a drink.

2cheekymonkeys · 24/04/2007 22:09

I know many mums who gave up bf the second their dc reached 6 months and thought i was weird to carry on bf to 18 months with both my ds's (even after they got teeth!).

emkana · 24/04/2007 22:10

But the really crucial question really is - why would you find it odd for a toddler/preschooler to drink from the mother's breast?

(at this point I fondly remember JoolsToo once posting on here that extended breastfeeding would be okay as long as you express and give the milk in a cup... pmsl...she was serious as well...)

lemonaid · 24/04/2007 22:12

For many extended breastfeeders, when the child self-weans, which is normally between two and a half and four (sometimes earlier if the mother is pregnant again). That's how it naturally happens in cultures all over the world, if there aren't any strange hang-ups about breasts.

I ask again, why is it "not strange" to raise cows, take the baby cows away from the mothers, milk them, transport the milk in big container lorries, process and bottle it, distribute to shops, go out, buy it, take it home and store it in the fridge for when a toddler wants a drink, but "strange" for the toddler to drink the milk that its mother is naturally producing for it? We all get that you, personally, are weirded out by it, but do you have any rational basis at all for your attitude?

There are health benefits to breastfeeding. There are health benefits to a healthy diet. But those benefits are cumulative -- there's no "OK, my child is as healthy as he can possibly get now, so I shan't bother doing anything else to watch out for his health". You have a perfect right to not breastfeed at all, or stop at 3 months, or stop at 6 months, or stop at a year, or continue as long as your child wants. Just as you also have a perfect right to feed them Fruit Shoots or chips or chocolate or organic hand-knitted tofu muesli.

IcingOnTheCake · 24/04/2007 22:12

I hate statistics Lemonaid, a study may have shown that 16-3o month olds had less illnesses but i was formula feed as a baby and i never had an illness until i started mixing with other kids at school. That study was done on such a small % of the population.

amijee · 24/04/2007 22:13

babies NEED milk but adults don't - that's why.

I think it's very easy to form misconceptions about feeding toddlers from some of the ridiculous images we get on TV.

What an earth is wrong with a 2 yr old breastfeeding?

terramum · 24/04/2007 22:15

Yes lots of humans drink cows milk now....but lots dont & many are intolerant to it. & its not so long ago that humans no humans drank milk other than their own because they didnt farm animals.

Its not biologically normal for a mammal to drink another mammals milk & if you look at the length of time most mammals feed their young its comparable to humans feeding their toddlers & even older.

Jacanne · 24/04/2007 22:16

IOTC, do you find it strange when you see FF babies still drinking milk from a bottle in their second year? Lots and lots of them do and there are rarely raised eyebrows at this. Why shouldn't I feed my dd the milk she has been having since birth, in the manner in which she is used to having it?

Also the WHO advises BF to at least 2 years.

The only place anyone has ever attempted to make me feel bad about EBF is on-line

amijee · 24/04/2007 22:18

IOTC - the example you give of being formula fed and healthy is ANECDOTAL. This is not evidence. It's the same as my grandma in law smoking 20 a day and still being alive at the age of 92. Does that mean you don't believe smoking is bad for you?

I can give you my anecdotal experiences as well as the evidence base. Breast feed babies have very little minor and major illnesses - and the longer they do it, the healthier they are.

I'm also from a culture where it's completely normal to feed beyond a year so I don't really know where you are coming from.

IcingOnTheCake · 24/04/2007 22:19

I think that it's my job as a mother, yes to make sure she is as healthy as she possiably can be, but also to establish her as independant. Thats why i find it strange, because i think with babies, you have to do everything for them and as they grow into little people (toddlers) they natrualy become that little bit more independant.

kama · 24/04/2007 22:20

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kama · 24/04/2007 22:21

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amijee · 24/04/2007 22:21

how is breastfeeding taking away independence?

My 9 mth old ds is more independent than a lot of babies his age. ( and that's anecdotal)

I think you have visions of these kids being little mummy's boys and clinging to their mums - as I said earlier...I work 11 hr days and my ds is a daddy's boy!

NoNickname · 24/04/2007 22:22

Baldwin continues: "Meeting a child's dependency needs is the key to helping that child achieve independence. And children outgrow these needs according to their own unique timetable." Children who achieve independence at their own pace are more secure in that independence then children forced into independence prematurely.

emkana · 24/04/2007 22:22

But independent at 12 months?

So do you stop cutting up food at 12 months?
Stop putting your baby in nappies?
Tell them to get themselves dressed?

Children want to become independent when they are ready, they will self-wean if you give them the chance, just like the vast majority of them are keen when they are ready to start dressing themselves/use the toilet/use fork and spoon...

lemonaid · 24/04/2007 22:24

Ah yes, anecdotal evidence is famously much more reliable than objective scientific studies.

I'm not telling you you should breastfeed past a year. Do whatever the hell you want. You are the one coming onto this thread and telling us we're strange.

If you're genuinely interested, fine, but as you clearly have made up your mind already I can't imagine why you're here unless you're just determined to be rude. Which is also fine, if you have nothing better to do, but I shan't waste any more time on you.

Except to say, at the idea of my DS not being independent because he still nurses a couple of times a day, hahahahahahahaha, splutter, hahahahahahahaha. He's very very very independent. You'll see that I've given you an anecdote there, rather than any of those nasty scientific statistics.

IcingOnTheCake · 24/04/2007 22:24

Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong in people bf and me saying i was formula fed was not the reason me saying why i was healthy. I was saying i was fed milk as a baby up until 12 months and i am healthy.

And Jacanne, its not bf or ff babies thats my issue. I think toddlers should be drinking from a cup. Its all part of developing their skills etc