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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Another article about how awful breastfeeding is, this time in a feminist publication

560 replies

Caligula · 10/01/2007 15:06

I thought some of you would like to read this.

This misinformation bugged me:

"Times change though, and the formulas on the market are hopefully as close to what comes out of your boob, as they will ever be".

Wonder what the rest of you think

the new breastfeeding taboo

OP posts:
pointydog · 12/01/2007 20:36

"I would never presume to know another person's mind (experience, emotion, knowledge) on such matters."

That is just what you are doing when you say this:

"it is inherent in our nature - to bf our babies. Why do we get so upset when we can't do it? Hormones and emotions are there for a reason (essentially, survival of the species)"

pointydog · 12/01/2007 20:39

Oh and yes, alex's workshop would have been more realistic and prepard me better. That was my gripe - not sharing the range of experiences so I was prepared about what to expect. The flat denial of pain.

chocolatekimmy · 12/01/2007 20:46

KathyMCMLXXII - sorry to disappoint but yes that is what I am saying - not breast feeding so you don't get saggy breasts is selfish IN MY VIEW.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinions (and quite rightly so). Giving an opinion (as well as advice/support etc) on this type of website is what its all about.

We often won't agree with other people but thats life isn't it and why we are all so different.

Caligula · 12/01/2007 20:49

I disagree that observing that hormones and emotions are there for a reason, is synonymous with presuming you know an individual's thoughts and feelings.

I think that's quite a big jump to make.

OP posts:
booge · 12/01/2007 21:18

I agree that it is wrong not to give new mothers any infomation on bottle feeding. I can't agree however with the suggestion that most mothers really don't enjoy breastfeeding and would give it up in a flash. I have really enjoyed breastfeeding both of ours and most of my friends have breastfeed successfully. I regreted giving up at 8 months with DS why go to all the expense and hassel of formula when you have an easy supply on tap. With DD I will probably mix feed after 6 months when I go back to work but keep the breastfeeding going morning and evening until she is a year.

kamikayzed · 12/01/2007 21:22

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pointydog · 12/01/2007 21:27

Soemthing subtle and beautiful and powerful?! That is how you feel it. To me, it sounds like you're assuming other people will feel this too. But you think they are denying themselves it.

kamikayzed · 12/01/2007 21:29

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pointydog · 12/01/2007 21:31

I should have added 'by not rbeastfeeding'

wulfricsmummy · 12/01/2007 21:31

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kamikayzed · 12/01/2007 21:32

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fortyplus · 12/01/2007 21:38

Don't you think that if (like me) you found bf a beautiful experience then it's hard to understand people not wanting to do it - yet some mums are totally repelled by it.
The same goes for sex - not that it has the same health benefits - but some people love it, others find the very idea disgusting.
It is extremely judgemental of the bf police to condemn anyone not wishing to bf - let alone someone who gives it a try but doesn't get on with it for some reason.
Bloody smug holier-than-thou NCT committee members, the lot of 'em! (That's me being totally unjudgemental of course )

kamikayzed · 12/01/2007 21:42

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pointydog · 12/01/2007 21:50

forty[lus, you're saying you don't like sex, aren't you?

Elasticwoman · 12/01/2007 21:54

Sorry, haven't read whole thread but would like to say that although I had bf support and help from many highly qualified "experts" and had read all the books, I could not breastfeed without pain for many weeks, any of my 3 children. Also had other probs such as mastitis. I knew there must be something wrong with the latch but could not put it right. You'd think I could do it easily by the time I had #3 but that was worst of all. In the end it righted itself.

My conclusion is that it is the moral support given, the motivation of the mother to continue and the faith that she can do it, rather than technical support, that helps a mother to hang on in there.

I have always thought it very sad that many women go through the shit time at the beginning and give up without reaping the benefits later on, when bf becomes easy and is so rewarding and convenient.

We are all very hung up about Not Making FF mothers feel Guilty. Nobody wants to cast the first stone. What about mothers who smoke? Should we disapprove of them? It's not illegal to smoke tobacco and a few decades ago it was very common and the risks not known. If you're heavily addicted to nicotine it's hard to give up. I know a mother, in her 70s now, whose son was born slightly brain-damaged after a difficult birth in which he must have suffered some oxygen deprivation. That mother was a smoker. It cannot have helped her son that her smoking affected his oxygen supply in the womb. I have not, and would not ever suggest it to her, because there's nothing she can do about it now, and because no one can know if the outcome would have been different had she not smoked. She is of course convinced that a tremendous fuss is made about smoking nowadays; every one did it when she was young so there can't be too much wrong with it, can there?

Today there is overwhelming evidence to suggest that maternal smoking is detrimental to babies. There is also overwhelming evidence that breastmilk is the right nourishment for babies, and artificial alternatives can never be as good. But there will always be people who do not believe it, because they don't want to; and after all, it's not so long ago that doctors prescribed cigarette smoking to treat anything from constipation to "nerves".

You know, some people have criticised me for persevering with bf when it wasn't going well. I am secure enough in my own beliefs not to be "made to feel guilty" by such comments. I don't regret the way I fed my babies and nothing any one can say will make me. I take responsibility for my own decisions. That woman who wrote the article defending formula feeding? She's not the first, and you know, methinks she doth protest too much.

fortyplus · 12/01/2007 21:56

pointydog - I think generally it's preferable to bf - especially at my age!

pointydog · 12/01/2007 22:01

forty!!

fortyplus · 12/01/2007 22:02

Elasticwoman I think that anyone prepared to do themselves so much damage by smoking isn't going to face up to the risks posed to their child - both before and after birth.
I think that's an entirely different issue to a mum who feeds formula which, though undeniably inferior to breastmilk is far less likely to harm a child than if its mother smoked during pregnancy.
Of course - as I've argued before - sadly socio-economic factors mean that 'deprived' babies are more likely to suffer both.

fortyplus · 12/01/2007 22:03

pointydog - sorry - went to private girls' school - I'm emotionally damaged

Edam · 12/01/2007 22:10

Woah there Elasticwoman, oxygen deprivation at birth is NOTHING to do with smoking during pregnancy. Think it's appalling that you should try to blame the poor woman for her son's injury. Disapprove of smoking all you like but don't invent cause and effect here because it ain't true. It's like blaming coffee for pre-eclampsia.

Plus you are going back 40 or 50 years, for heaven's sake, when GPs would offer you a cigarette when you went in for an appointment! Camels were advertised as the brand favoured by doctors, for instance.

pointydog · 12/01/2007 22:11

I used to liek a camel. very continental

fortyplus · 12/01/2007 22:15

Edam So true
(Though I was a coffee addict and did get pre-eclampsia so maybe there's some truth in that!)

Goodasgold · 12/01/2007 22:37

With my dd1 I felt that giving her formula would be like putting her to the cat to feed off her, milk from another species = disgusting.
I had a bit of a hard time and like Kittylette shed a few tears when Dh brought her to me for a feed, but that was only for a few weeks.
I fed her for 19 months and loved it. I don't regret a day.
With dd2 I was expecting similar, had a homebirth and she fed immediately after delivery like a dream.
I think we rely too much on clinical guidance if you don't see a hv she can't piss you off can she.
There must be good instructions on tins of formula, why get advice in ante natal classes.
Why go to ante natal classes?
I have friends in LLL but have never been to their meetings, happen to agree with them and Beckybrastraps and Ipanemagirl and of course Caligula.
Women will justify whatever they do in looking after their babies.
I think that feeding your own baby will empower you and make your husband proud too.

AitchTwoOhOhSeven · 12/01/2007 23:05

as someone who tried my utmost and only managed to mix feed for five months i don't really know how to respond to that last line, goodasgold. i like to think that my husband would have been proud of me whatever happened...

Goodasgold · 12/01/2007 23:24

H2oo7
I'd be surprised if your Dh wasn't proud of you for having and taking care of your lo. What I thought I was responding to was the need for DHs to be involved in feeding their babies.
I think when something has been hard for you but you have found a way through it it makes you wish that others could do the same.
I love babies and women and would really like to see more positive outcomes in this country, which looks poor compared to some developing countries in this respect.
Don't write off feeding your next baby.