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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

What to say to people who say "this formula is CLOSEST to breastmilk" -

405 replies

Lucy1977 · 05/11/2006 21:56

Hi

I don't want to cause offence to anyone, but in my mind an infant formula cannot be "closest" to breastmilk but I cant get my words together to explain this to people who say "I use "x" formula because it's supposed to be closest to breastmilk".

Anyone help?

Thanks
Lucy

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/11/2006 13:52

Or alternatively, Breastfeeders......

Hello custy

melsy · 08/11/2006 13:55

No, no way hunker.

Tortington · 08/11/2006 14:00

howdy QV - you trouble causer you.

in answer to headline on thread ( cos haven't even been arsed to read OP) - i would say "cool" and leave it

like lifes not hard enough without the breastmilk guilt poured all over your cornflakes - so to speak.

alternativley can't you just send her some breastmilk soap.

or even sugest wet nursing

WhizzBangCaligula · 08/11/2006 14:05

Hmm. I don't know. Remember when Ken compared that Evening Standard journalist to a concentration camp guard and everyone got irate about it? I suppose the term bf nazis is a bit like that.

But I suspect that quite often it's just a term which is used about mothers who breastfeed. Just breastfeeding makes you a bf nazi in some people's eyes. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I have my strong suspicions...

tiktok · 08/11/2006 14:14

riab - you have had some unbelievably dreadful encounters, far, far worse than anyone I have ever come across, and there is no possible excuse for people behaving that way....I can fully understand the distress you would feel being faced with such incredibly judgemental people stopping you in the street to lecture you....good grief, talk about getting more than your share of negativity

For what it's worth, mothers get criticised and judged no matter how they feed their babies. I think the jury is out on who gets the most criticism, to be honest, and as ever, people should mind their own business!

VeniVidiVickiQV · 08/11/2006 14:18

Ahem....I caused no trouble at all thank you

I cant help that some hapless bint follows me around the board and takes offence at literally every single one of my posts.

hunkermunker · 08/11/2006 14:34

PMSL at hapless bint.

How...apt

WhizzBangCaligula · 08/11/2006 14:36

Who is this hapless bint?

DizzyBint · 08/11/2006 14:39

hope you lot don't mean me

Jimjams2 · 08/11/2006 14:40

God riab sounds awful

I've done the lot- "normal" length breastfeeding (1 year), extended breastfeeding (2 and 3/4), formula feeding from a young age (can't remember but his age could be measured in weeks) and did get a load more grief about formula feeding than breastfeeding so I sympathise. Didn't get any hassle from professionals though- that's even worse!

foundintranslation · 08/11/2006 14:41

I too would be very grateful if people would stop chucking the term 'nazi' around so casually.

MKG · 08/11/2006 15:09

Lucy, just tell your "friend" who says "I use "x" formula because it's supposed to be closest to breastmilk" that whatever she does is fine. You don't need say anything. Just let it go. It's not your kid and therefore not your business. I don't like it when indiscreet women whip their boobs out in public to bf, but I don't say anything, because it's their choice, and none of my business

lockets · 08/11/2006 15:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

tiktok · 08/11/2006 15:19

I've always been curious about how one recognises someone being 'indiscreet' and what 'whipping your boobs out in public' actually entails.

Big of you not to say anything about it, of course, MKG.

blueshoes · 08/11/2006 15:21

So sorry people gave you such a hard time, riab. It is most unhelpful.

MKG · 08/11/2006 15:23

Believe me the first time I saw anyone bfing was was my aunt. I was about 11 or 12 and she just opened up her shirt whipped her boobs out for all to see and went to town. It scarred me for life. Most women are very discreet and you would never know. But there are those that are very . . . um . . . free with their bodies that just don't know even though I know they're there I still don't need to see them.

3andnomore · 08/11/2006 15:26

But MKG, then the myths of the clever marketing people will stand even longer...tbh, I don't care what people feed their Baby's, BUT that doesn't mean that myths and lies etc...need to be kept unchallenged....in the end I suppose one can just say, that all the Formulas are basically the same as eachother and none of it is any closer then the next one...don't think that is a judgemental comment just matter of fact!
As for the whole discussion about Breastfeeding Nazi....I hate that term, too....

3andnomore · 08/11/2006 15:28

MKG, it is sad that you were only exposed to bf so late in your life...maybe if yo'd been younger you'd feel better about Breastfeeding?
I mean, in societies where BF is the norm, people don't even tend to notice it anymore...

MKG · 08/11/2006 15:31

3andnomore,

I get what you're saying, but that is an issue that needs to be taken up with professionals, not with individuals that do the best they can. I can just imagine what it feels like to think that you are doing the best you can for your baby and have some random person say,
"You you are grossly misinformed and let me explain the truth to you. The truth being that what you give your baby is no where near breast milk, and therefore you make poor decisions and are a terrible person". That may not be what someone actually says, but as the mother that is what I would hear.

MKG · 08/11/2006 15:31

I can't help it, I was the baby in the family for 11 years.

MKG · 08/11/2006 15:34

I don't feel bad about bfing. People can do what they want. I wish I was able to bf my ds, but it didn't work out. Did I get judged for not being able to, yes. Do I care, no.

lockets · 08/11/2006 15:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

harpsichordcarrier · 08/11/2006 15:39

no, mkg, I don't agree. the fact that the prevailing culture is so anti breastfeeding is not just the fault of the professionals but we are have a responsibility to support women in their choice.
tbh, the kind of attitudes you post about - being scarred for life by the sight of someonefeedind their baby, and about women bf in public whipping their boobs out and being indiscreet - those are exactly the sorts of attitudes that put people off bf and they contribute in a significant way to keeping bf rates so pitifully low.
you talk about what a mother will hear - well what message do you think a pregnant women reading your post would get?
If I bf in public I will be seen as whipping my boobs out, being indiscreet and I am going to scar someone for life... if someone is feeling even the slightest bit unconfident about bf, then it would put them off.
women who would like to bf need our support imo.

harpsichordcarrier · 08/11/2006 15:40

sorry we all have a responsibility...

tiktok · 08/11/2006 15:45

So given that people don't, on the whole (and riab's experiences notwithstanding) actually say, " what you give your baby is no where near breast milk, and therefore you make poor decisions and are a terrible person", but that this is what people hear, then how are mothers to get information about infant feeding, then?

Best not to say anything to anyone about anything, then, in case the person hears what you don't say!

I have to say I have always argued for sensitivity when discussing infant feeding, and I think people need to remember we can hurt people if we say stoopid things about formula....but I really don't think it's fair to argue for total silence

And I still don't know what 'whipping them out' actually means, and rather suspect I have done it a zillion times, thinking all I was doing was making it possible for my baby to get the nipple into his/her mouth (knowing full well that doing it through clothing is not an easy thing to do).