Think I need to stop BFing. So upset.

[Writerwannabe83]

For the sake of my sanity and for the sake if mine and DS's relationship I think the time has come where I have to stop.

I can't cope anymore with his dependence on me. He won't sleep unless he is fed to sleep and he wakes constantly in the night for comfort feeds. He won't nap unless he's on me (if he naps at all) and unless we co-sleep he wakes all the time. I'm exhausted and so is he.

I'm so upset about it but the time has come to admit I can't keep this up anymore. I'm actually in tears writing this.

I'm going back to work in 7 weeks which is another factor in my decision but I still feel like I'm failing or giving up.

I don't know why I'm writing this - moral support and reassurance really. Tips?

I love my DS to pieces but our relationship is suffering because of how utterly frustrated I am with it and things are getting worse, not better. It's affecting me and DH too.

That's brilliant! Well done to dh and ds. Maybe just get dh to deal with bedtimes and night weakening fir a bit and you can continue feeding in the day? It seems a shame to stop feeding if you don't want to.

You can sort the night feeding but continue bfeeding. Be aware though not bfeeding in the night does not mean he will sleep through, he may still wake but you don't have that tool to get him to sleep. But as its not working fir you that's fine, you may have to find something else though.

Good luck and glad you are feeling brighter :) it's amazing what a night off can do!

Well I'm doing the bedtime feed and based on the success of the bottle last night I have filled it with water bought it upstairs with me tonight in case he wakes. Someone told me that by repeatedly offering water instead of breast milk it can lead to reduced wake ups overnight once baby learns that breast is not on the menu. I'm sure it's just a theory but I'm willing to try anything

Well it's all gone downhill again as he's been crying at me for 45 minutes now.

I have sent DH in.

My boys were FF but giving them bottles of water at the 11pm feed VERY quickly stopped them waking up for it. Like after just 2 or 3 nights.

Took me 1hr 40m to get him to go back to sleep and now 2.5 hours later he's awake and screaming the place down again

He's back asleep but it took another 1hr and 15m. I'm so tired. He will probably be up again in 3 hours too

How are you Writer? Any luck with the sleep consultant yet? I hope the last couple of nights have been bearable x

The sleep lady phoned me last night and the consultation lasted just over two hours. She talked to me about the biology of sleep cycles, neural pathways about sleep patterns, the physiology of self settling in relation to controlled crying and the chemical process involved in sleep cycles.

She asked me lots of questions about DS to build upon a questionnaire I had already completed and sent to her and then we especially talked about my daily routines. She gave me some fantastic tips on how to alter the bedtime routine to make it more static and based on consistent sleep cues and we also discussed nap lengths. We also talked about what DH's role should be.

We then came up with a new daily schedule for his sleep times, nap times, BF times and meal times to make his day and more structured and then she talked me through five different sleep training methods. We decided on the method that would best suit DS and then she spent a lot of time going into further detail about the method and detailing point by point what to do and how to address any problems.

I feel so much better about things like I have a definite direction to go in and I feel very positive. She was brilliant

Best of luck with it all, let us know how it goes!