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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

not feeding on demand?

37 replies

aroha77 · 25/07/2014 21:38

I'm reading The Baby Whisperer and starting to regret it because it's really confusing me!!

She says not to breastfeed 'on demand' but I can't picture how it would work to do it any other way! Would i just have to ignore her if she cries a hungry looking cry at the wrong time in my routine? I feel a bit worried I'm doing it all wrong now but can't work out how to do her routine!

Thank you!

OP posts:
bayrans · 25/07/2014 21:42

Feed your baby when she is hungry,
Don't need a book to tell you that.

fledermaus · 25/07/2014 21:46

The Baby Whisperer is crap on breastfeeding imo - I assume she didn't breastfeed herself and hadn't done any research on how it works.

DiaDuit · 25/07/2014 21:48

It would be pretty cruel not to feed a hungry baby, dont you think? Babies need fed a often as they want it because when they want it is exactly the same as when they need it. If s/he's asking for it then s/he needs it. Its that simple. To deny it is really not on.

SlicedAndDiced · 25/07/2014 21:48

But breast feeding on demand is how it works?

First step to becoming a successful happy parent....is to sling all of those stupid books Grin

Tambajam · 25/07/2014 21:52

The baby whisperer has some interesting ideas when it comes to the importance of sleep and alternatives to controlled crying but some of the information about feeding and breastfeeding is just plain wrong.

The original baby whisper book was much more practical and talked about the fact babies naturally have different patterns. Still had some nonsense though.

The modern edited updated editions are even more ludicrous.

Mothers all have different storage capacities. They have different numbers of milk ducts and different forces of their milk ejection reflex. There is no 'one size fits all'. Any book that tells you that you can impose an early structured routine simply doesn't understand how breasts work and how they continue to form breast tissue post-partum.

Tracey Hogg wrote her books before a lot of the research came out of Australia (Hartmann et al and University of Western Australia). We now know much more about how storage capacity influences intervals. People with smaller storage capacities (which may not mean smaller breast size) have to feed more frequently or milk production slows and supply reduces. Babies have to feed to their cues or you risk long term supply problems.

Even more crucial when the weather is warm or you also risk dehydration alongside supply and weight gain problems.

I think your instincts are already telling you what's the right thing to do.

Iggly · 25/07/2014 21:54

Put the book in the bin.

I've come to the conclusion that these kind of books are generally written for people looking after babies who are not their own.

They never talk about a mothers instinct nor the emotional aspects of dealing with your child.

crikeybadger · 25/07/2014 21:55

The Baby Whisperer is very outdated in its breastfeeding advice.

Rather than thinking of it as feeding on demand, perhaps think along the lines of responsive or baby led feeding. By feeding to a routine you are usually ignoring the baby's cues -it can be possible, but it's far easier to watch your baby and to go with their needs. Don't forget too that baby's don't always just feed because they need their hunger satisfying, it can be because they are tired, need soothing or want to make a connection with their mum.

ZenNudist · 25/07/2014 21:56

Ignore the baby whisperer she will confuse you with her stupid ideas. I remember getting really hung up on 'snacking' like I was somehow going to create a child who fed little and often, what BS!

She's got some really mad ideas. I only read it as a 'friend' gifted it to me saying it was her bible. I think a lot of first time mums read it and eventually realise its crap and give up on it.

Trust your instincts. Feed on demand (per nhs advice) if you're stuck or want to know something Post here for advice. Baby centre is very good too for googleable advice.

goshhhhhh · 25/07/2014 21:56

I burnt my book (said that on another thread). I have two that slept & kept asleep, once they got the hang of it. (trust your instincts & ditch the book.

Original poster
aroha77 · 25/07/2014 22:03

Great :) thanks so much for your responses - feel much better!! Wish people couldn't just publish whatever they like - while it's in a book it seems like it must be true somehow!

OP posts:
SlicedAndDiced · 25/07/2014 22:08

You'll do great op Grin

If it feels right then it probably is.

Tambajam · 25/07/2014 22:13

Totally right. There are several contexts where she would not be allowed to give this information to families. In books, everything is permitted. There is sooo much dangerous nonsense out there directed at new parents.

lovelygirl17 · 25/07/2014 22:13

Well, I breastfed my two babies and I fed them on demand as that was the advice from midwifes and health visitors. Also, I've seen many of my friends doing the same. 6 - 7 months down the line we were all incredibly tired as our babies started to use us as dummies, waking every half an hour or so to demand the stuff. No one told us anything about that! Everyone I asked so far seem to agree that, yes you're going to end up with a very demanding baby. Also, do you really know that a cry that you hear is a hunger cry? As a first time mother I have to admit I had no idea why my baby was crying, so I guessed she was hungry... With the second I was a bit more confident but far from sure. So yes, I believe that for everyone's sake babies do have to be put into some sort of routine as soon as they are born. And I'm not saying starving a hungry baby and some are hungrier than others, feeding a baby at too frequent intervals is probably just comfort (for the baby). I read the book after struggling to get some sleep first time round and I thought she had a point. So please don't get confused just try and aim for some routine asap. Just a gentle routine but routine... You won't regret it, it won't harm your baby (on the contrary, they will have more sleep too) and all other mothers will envy you for your achievements ;)

thisvelvetglove · 25/07/2014 22:16

Oh no! Comfort for a baby! How wrong....

fledermaus · 25/07/2014 22:17

"probably just comfort" - and god forbid mothers should want to comfort their little helpless babies!

fledermaus · 25/07/2014 22:19

You can feed on demand and still have a sleep routine by the way. I found with both of mine that once they were napping consistently their feeds fell into a bit of a routine anyway, somewhere between 4 and 6 months. Babies need to feed more or less at various times anyway (eg. mine is feeding loads in the heat because she is thirsty and uncomfortable!).

PenguinsHatchedAnEgg · 25/07/2014 22:20

The Baby Whisperer knows nothing about bfing. All that abject bollocks about plasters on the nipples to show you where you will need to hold your breasts. IIRC she is also into forced single sided feeds isn't she?

She has some ideas on sleep patterns, etc (though they never worked for us) but her bfing advice is rubbish. It is one of the few books I ever binned as opposed to sending to the charity shop.

Feed when your baby requests. Sooner or later a pattern will emerge.

SlicedAndDiced · 25/07/2014 22:21

Fuck someone actually did something JUST to comfort their baby!

Call ss!

And then, oh the shock and horror, those babies wanted to be close their mothers STILL when they were months old!

Jesus, shouldn't they have been off at Uni by then or something??

CelticPromise · 25/07/2014 22:28

Babies don't use their mothers as dummies, it's the other way around! Always mystifies me when prior put it that way.

babrow13 · 25/07/2014 22:28

I wouldn't recommend doing this, if milk is not emptied from the breast it could lead to blocked ducts and mastitis, not nice at all. If you want strict routines for feeding maybe you should use formula. Breast milk provides both nutrition and hydration (that's why you don't need to give bf babies water) and you wouldn't want to be denying both to the baby. It's a different consistency to formula so babies will need to eat/drink more often, usually as previous poster said, when they need it. Your baby will be crying enough for things you can't control, the last thing you want is to not be able to sooth your baby because a book tells you so, trust you instinct. Good luck.

CelticPromise · 25/07/2014 22:29

Prior? People.

ILoveYouBaby · 25/07/2014 22:35

I hated that book, I was insecure before I read it, after reading it I was totally confused and didn't know what to do. So I ignored it and found my own way.

DiaDuit · 25/07/2014 22:41

6 - 7 months down the line we were all incredibly tired as our babies started to use us as dummies

Actually it's dummies that are being used as breasts. Dummy actually means 'dummy teat' meaning fake nipple. Dummies are given to babies to pacify them in place of a breast that they naturally crave for comfort. It is completely normal for breastfed babies to comfort feed. Comfort is a need. For everyone.

OneLittleToddleTerror · 25/07/2014 22:42

Just bin the book. I tried very hard to do EASY, but DD just loved sleep so much it was always ESES so
On so forth. I tried very very hard to wake a sleeping baby to no success. I was very worried about feed to sleep.

Well turned out DD was just a great sleeper. She never had any feed to sleep issues. She just loves sleep and that's the end of it.

fionnthedog · 25/07/2014 23:51

In Tracy Hogg's defence she is very clear that you should ALWAYS feed a hungry baby. I will repeat ALWAYS feed a hungry baby. What a flexible routine does is help you to work out why your baby is crying. If you fed baby half an hour ago and she's been awake for an hour then she is probably tired rather than hungry. But obviously she could be hungry and if you think she is then feed! IMO a routine helps me to know when my baby is demanding a feed rather than telling me he's tired / overstimulated etc.

But again: always feed your baby whenever they're hungry!!!

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