Calling all night time feeders - always up feeding when we should be sleeping! Let's keep each other company PART 2!!

[Writerwannabe83]

I think to start the new thread off we should reintroduce ourselves and our babies for the sake of our own memories and also for any newbies who may join

I have a 10 week old DS who is EBF. Has been sleeping through the night for the last week and I'm just waiting patiently for things to go downhill as I'm sure they will

[Cannotbelieveit]

He only lasted 3 hours! DH will get up with ds1 whenever he gets up so I'm hoping after this feed now I can have a few hours at least! Why did he tease me with all those nights of sleeping 7-8 hours!

[Cariad007]

I finally put DS in his crib around midnight (he'd been asleep for a while by then but I was chatting to a cousin in Oz) and he got up for a feed at 245 and again about 20 mins ago. Has drifted off now. So all in all an improvement on previous Fridays.

[mrsmugoo]

"Only 3 hours" oh dear it's another world!

I officially have a crap sleeper. Is my DS the worst on this thread? I need another crap sleeper for some solidarity,

[Misty9]

Another 6 hour stretch here, albeit 12-6 and not in own bed. Bloody knackered after her shenanigans and not looking forward to a day of ds tantrums. Best be out the house me thinks.

[Writerwannabe83]

Up feeding again, 3.5 hours this time which is actually quite long for his 2nd block of sleep. I'm pretty sure he'll go back to sleep after this feed but I'm getting up as hopefully I'm off to view a car later. Normally my DH has him weekend mornings so I can get some sleep but DH is knackered as he's doing so much travelling to go and visit his mom in hospital. He leaves the house at 7am and isn't back until 8.30pm. He's in the spare room now and I'm just going to leave him to sleep.

mrsmugoo - sorry you're still having issues with his sleep. Is he like it in the day too or does he have longer naps? And does he go longer between feeds in the day?

How long does he feed for during the night? Does he just take little and often as opposed to longer feeds?

I honestly don't know how you survive with such limited sleep - your perseverance and dedication is an absolute credit to your character!

[Singsongmama]

No Mugoo you aren't alone.

Down at 9.30pm.

Feeds at approx 12am, 2am and 4am.

Up at 7.30am.

In the night I only posted a little marker as I didn't want to write anything I'd regret! I'm going to go and see HV I think, this regression is absolutely epic and it's leaving me only snatching an hour or two at a time. I am so beyond exasperated and exhausted. I feel like I've been kicked by a donkey mentally and physically. I am doubting everything I'm doing and now dread "bedtime". I wonder if he is reverse cycling but can't understand why he would be, he has ample chance to feed and lots of affection during the day. I feel like a shit mother.

Sorry for the pity party! I know that whiners are wieners. I hope you all have a lovely Saturday.

[Writerwannabe83]

singsong - you are not a wiener and definitely not a shit mom! Not at all! Just like with mrsmugoo your dedication is to be praised! focus on that positive as opposed to the negative thoughts you are having. Your baby is lucky to have you!!

I have been where you are in terms of absolute exhaustion due to sleep deprivation and it completely messes with your ability to think and reason rationally. That's why it's used as a weapon of torture in some countries. When my HV came to see me I couldn't hold back the tears, I clung on to her for dear life and just sobbed my heart out. I cried to her for about an hour and just having someone to off-load to helped no end. I just needed to be told that it wasn't anything I was doing wrong, it wasn't because I was a shit mom, it was just because a baby will do what it wants to do, they are erratic, unpredictable and all we can do is try and cope with them. She told me things would get better and although it sounded like a bit of a platitude at the time, it eventually did it get better. Things will get better for you too. Don't ever feel guilty about what is happening, you have no control over your baby's behaviour, if they want to be little monkeys then they will be.

Contacting the HV is a good idea but in the mean time do you have anyone who offer practical support? I.e someone can come and watch your son so you can just get a few hours sleep?

[mrsmugoo]

Writer - no still feeds approx every 90 mins and will only catnap for 45 minutes in my arms after a feed. Seeing absolutely no improvement.

I'm just riding it out...

[mrsmugoo]

He feeds for about 10-15 mins in the night which for him is a decent amount. He falls fast asleep on the boob and I wait 10 minutes for him to be in a deep sleep then I place him back down in the bed next to me.

I don't know how I survive either but there's really not much I can do about it so I try not to make too much of a fuss in RL. It's my choice to EBF he would probably go longer on formula (if he would take a bottle...)

[Cannotbelieveit]

Sorry ladies for saying "only".

3 hours is good I know but I didn't sleep more than an hour as DS1 kept waking in pain with teething so I was in and out of his room comforting him

[KateTheShrew]

Morning all. Well we had mixed results last night. On the plus side he didn't get up for the day until 7.15 rather then 5.45 (thank you blackout curtains!) On the the other hand in addition to his usual 2 feeds (1.15 and 4.30ish) he had 2 other grizzly wake-ups at 12.15 and 3.15!

I'm slightly ashamed to say that my reaction was "hell no, baby, there's no way you're hungry!" and he did settle again fairly quickly so I don't think he was hungry. Plus when I did feed him he ate much better because he hadn't been snacking. DH got up with him at 7.15 and brought him back up to me for a feed at 8, so I feel OK this morning.

singsong, mugoo, I totally empathize. It's awful when they're waking like t that and there's nothing you can do about it! I feel like an udder/dummy a lot of the time and DS is distracted during the day too -- popping on and off every few seconds until I want to scream.

mugoo there's no telling whether he'd go any longer on formula. My DS still has one bottle a day at about 10.30-11.30pm. This is a hangover from when we had all the feeding/weight problems and he wouldn't breastfeed directly so I was expressing for him but couldn't make enough. He was, at the worst point, having about two thirds bm and one third formula but as I built my supply up and he statred feeding directly again we cut down the formula gradually. I have to say he goes no longer after his one bottle than he does after a breastfeed, and sometimes not even as long. The only benefit of the bottle is that DH can give it which sometimes gives me a longer stretch of sleep but often I wake up anyway because of the noise/light etc. So there's very little benefit and I think we'll eventually cut out that bottle too. I know all babies are different, but in my experience having to give formula because of awful feeding problems didn't even have the silver lining of giving us longer stretches of sleep! Now when I'm up feeding at night I always try to remind myself that it's so much easier than when I was expressing 7/8 times a day, and that I should be grateful we manage to bf at all after such an awful start, but it doesn't always work when every fibre of my being is screaming "I need sleep!!"

[mrsmugoo]

Kate - remind me how old your LO is? I'm really debating whether I should try scheduling his feeds rather than just whipping out a boob all day and night at the slightest whimper?

[Writerwannabe83]

Have you read Gina Ford's book mrsmugoo - she's not everyone's cup of tea but she has strong views about the importance of scheduled feeding and sleeping times and also sets out ways in which to do it.

[mrsmugoo]

No I haven't read it -I've always been vehemently against that sort of parenting (and I still am) I'm just wondering if I can coax him out of the habit of snacking all day and all night? I'd hate to withhold milk if he's genuinely hungry though. Maybe I'll read GF just for a laugh?

[Writerwannabe83]

It certainly cheered me up mrsmugoo - gave me and DH something to chuckle about

[mrsmugoo]

I'm currently reading no cry sleep solution...

[Cannotbelieveit]

Currently reading (and then might implement) The Baby Whisperer, the main concept being E.A.S.Y

Eat, activity, sleep, you.

Will report back when I finish reading! Seems to make sense so far. As you aren't relying on feeding (breast or formula) to help baby sleep.

[KateTheShrew]

My DS is 20 weeks. I don't schedule feeds as a rule, but he seems to have slipped into his own pattern of feeding roughly every 2.5-3 hours round the clock. Very occasionally he'll go a bit longer at night. I definitely tend to offer a boob at the slightest whimper and b am scared of withholding milk because we spent so much of his early weeks trying to feed him up! However in the last couple of weeks he was waking up so frequently that when I fed him every time he would take a couple of sucks and then go back to sleep again. So I've decided I won't offer to feed immediately if he wakes within 2 hours of the last feed. But if he won't settle quickly (say 5-10mins) I'll feed again anyway. Don't know if that will with but it seemed to help last night.

[mrsmugoo]

I've tried baby whisperer EASY routine but there's no way in hell I'm getting him to sleep without feeding in the day!

[Writerwannabe83]

DS has had a lovely and calm settled day today. He's had 3 sleeps, one lasting over 2 hours and the others lasting about 1.5 hours.

He seemed really sleepy this evening so we started bedtime procedures early so he's had his bath and is now having his bedtime feed.

Mind you, experience has taught me that no matter how tired he is, if he doesn't want to sleep then he won't!

[mrsmugoo]

Evening all, just checking in. Feeding a very tired DS. I've has a really good day as DH took Edward out for a long walk in the pushchair while he napped at lunch time and then after his afternoon nap I went and had an hour to myself in the bedroom with a cuppa. It's made all the difference to have a bit of time off today.

[Writerwannabe83]

Cross posted There's nothing better than sneaking off and being able to have a cup of tea in peace!! That's what I call a luxury these days

[Cannotbelieveit]

I actually managed hot tea today! DS is asleep now (had one good nap earlier too where I got loads done!) so I'm gonna leave him til he wakes himself to feed for the last time! He hadn't slept at this time of the night since he was a week or so old! Always keeping us guessing these babies!

[Cariad007]

DS has reached grizzly point now. He had a long nap when DP took him out for a walk earlier but other than that has only napped sporadically. He fells asleep around 7ish but when I transferred him to DP so I could eat my dinner he woke up! Trying to get him back to sleep now but no luck yet.

AND the neighbours are playing loud music which annoys me, but it's only just past 8 and they're fairly good about not keeping it up after 10pm. It doesn't bother DS as noise is one thing he's good with but it bothers me! Clearly I'm turning into Victor Meldrew...

[Writerwannabe83]

It would bother me too!!!

DS is still awake this end - he's such a little sod for not going to sleep!!