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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Just wondered - would you breast feed a friend's baby??

299 replies

clairemow · 16/08/2006 15:08

Just been having a conversation with a friend - would you be happy breast feeding someone else's baby, and how would you feel if someone else offered to feed yours?

I was thinking of the sort of scenario where you've had to leave your baby with someone else, and they need a feed, like if you're really sick or something.

I don't think I'd have a problem with it either way tbh.

OP posts:
FrayedKnot · 16/08/2006 15:23

NP I still get a let-down type tingle in my boobs when the word BF is mentioned..last BF about 10 months ago!

Tinker · 16/08/2006 15:23
KathyMCMLXXII · 16/08/2006 15:23

x-posts, NQC. Anyone else know anyone who's done it?

aquablue · 16/08/2006 15:23

can't viruses be transmitted through breastmilk? (like HIV?) you'd have to be pretty careful who you chose.

IdrisTheDragon · 16/08/2006 15:23

You might have a bottle refusnik.

Tinker · 16/08/2006 15:24

Still bf my 15 month old and still would feel funny. Emergency = different situation.

nailpolish · 16/08/2006 15:25

frayedknot - yes, i miss that, its been over a year for me now

god i loved breastfeeding

hunkermunker · 16/08/2006 15:26

Oh, hang on - I'm only talking about in an emergency, not a weird kind of pass the bfed baby parcel type game

I donate milk too - is that weird for some of you?

merrily · 16/08/2006 15:26

If I'm honest, my immediate reaction was "ewww no!"

But when I think about it, I don't really know why. I agree with FrayedKnot - I probably would be happy to feed someone else's baby, but not if someone else fed mine. I suppose because I would be jealous of the intimacy or something?? I don't know.

Having said all this, before I had DD the whole idea of breastfeeding made me squirm!! But now I've done it, I understand it and I absolutely love it. So my reaction is probably just a hangover from that mis-guided notion of breastfeeding that I had before I became a mother.

PandaG · 16/08/2006 15:27

I would have done it (think relactating after 3 years a bit unlikely though ), and offered to when a friend went into hospital, the drugs she was given meant she couldn't bf for a couple of days. In the event the baby decided she would take milk from a cup, so I wasn't needed.

nailpolish · 16/08/2006 15:27

hunk, i wish i had known about donating milk at the time, i had enough to feed every baby in the land

i have to go

im welling up

Original poster
clairemow · 16/08/2006 15:28

Relactating.... Saw a programme once about men who can lactate, and even help feed their children. I wonder if I could get DH to do this and hire him out as a wet nurse..

OP posts:
Original poster
clairemow · 16/08/2006 15:30

Hunker, did you just contact the hospital direct to donate? I wondered about doing that with DS1 as I had a freezer tray full of those little plastic bags and could have easily given quite a bit away. DS2 due any day now, so am wondering about doing it this time rather than just thinking about it.

I was thinking emergency situation too, not coffee morning baby swapping...

OP posts:
Quootiepie · 16/08/2006 15:31

Id BF someones baby, but i cant imagine letting someone else BF DS. Depends on the situation I guess

SaintGeorge · 16/08/2006 15:31

I would have happily done it - and I wish someone could have fed my DS2 when I was ill.

In hospital on strong IV meds so even expressed milk no good. He had to have a bottle and by the time I was well enough again he totally rejected the breast

Greensleeves · 16/08/2006 15:36

Yes, I would. Both of mine were given formula, one in SCBU and the other while I was having a PPH, when I was in no position to intervene. I would MUCH rather they had been able to have donated breast milk, either through a tube or "direct at source" .

I don't find breastfeeding distasteful generally, and it's a fairly small leap for me to imagine feeding someone else's child if necessary or vice versa. It's the transfer of a foodstuff, not a sexual encounter. As to the intimacy - I cuddle other people's babies whenever I can get my hands on them. It's only the actual nipple dispensing the food which is a departure from the norm IMO - not a big deal.

At the end of the day it's about what's best for the child - donated breast milk, which is still breast milk - or formula. It's the same old question with a slight refinement.

mawbroon · 16/08/2006 15:37

When ds was tiny, there was a newborn found nearby-ish that had been abandoned and I knew that if it had been me that had found it, I would have wanted to feed it. But then common sense kicked in and I realised that I wouldn't take the risk in case the baby had an infection that could be passed to me or my ds. I concluded that I would have to give the baby EBM instead. Oh yes, and contact the authorities.

BUT that is entirely different from a friend/relative's baby and I still don't know where I would stand on that one. I'm also thinking along the lines of ok for me to feed someone elses, but I wouldn't want someone else to feed ds. Double standards indeed.

Joolstoo · 16/08/2006 15:37

d'yer know, changing someone elses baby dirty nappy makes me heave - I've done it of course but (for me) it's quite different to doing your own.

am I waffling?

Cam · 16/08/2006 15:44

Surely you're not in nappies yet Jools

pinkmagic1 · 16/08/2006 15:52

I would have no problem with this if it was a genuine emergency, but only for a very close friend or relative.

Gobblunarcharsky · 16/08/2006 16:03

I can't think of many situations that would be such an emergency.

I'd rather give them Cow and Gate but then I don't think formula makes babies ill or is really significantly different to breastmilk in the grand scheme of things.

So it's going to depend on your take on that really isn't it?

frogs · 16/08/2006 16:05

Normal in parts of Africa, at least, including nannies feeding their charges.

Some friends of ours who live in Zim had to sack their nanny (very reluctantly, and after much soul-searching) when she got pregnant around the same time as the employer, because they knew that nanny would end up feeding the baby, even if they instructed her not to, and couldn't take the risk that she might be HIV-positive.

Aside from the infection issue, I wouldn't have a problem with feeding someone else's baby, or someone else feeding mine, as long as it was agreed beforehand.

yellowrose · 16/08/2006 16:10

Hi - I was interested in this topic - hello everyone I am sort of new here !

I read somewhere that this is quite normal in many cultures.

Having said that my son is now a 2.2 year old breastfeeding toddler, I doubt he would take anyone's boob without biting them first, he is very playful when feeding : )

But I would be very happy to feed another baby, esp. in an emergency situation, say the mother is sick or away for a few hours.

I wouldn't be so sure about feeding a toddler though, as they have set personalities ?

My aunt fed my brother when he was a baby for a whole day because my mother was very sick, so I don't think of it as being yucky and it is better than formula !

Greensleeves · 16/08/2006 16:11

But GDG, do you actually think formula is better for babies than breastmilk?

Gobblunarcharsky · 16/08/2006 16:11

I don't think it makes much difference tbh.

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