Just wondered - would you breast feed a friend's baby??

[clairemow]

Just been having a conversation with a friend - would you be happy breast feeding someone else's baby, and how would you feel if someone else offered to feed yours?

I was thinking of the sort of scenario where you've had to leave your baby with someone else, and they need a feed, like if you're really sick or something.

I don't think I'd have a problem with it either way tbh.

[Gobblunarcharsky]

And certainly one feed isn't going to make much difference to an individual. Anyway, don't want to get into a debate about it. It's just my personal view.

[Greensleeves]

Well, no, saying that the decision between feeding a child formula milk and breast milk "doesn't make much difference" is quite a statement IMO.

[frogs]

The main difference is that a baby who has been fully breastfed from birth, has never been exposed to cows milk protein. Giving him a bottle of Cow & Gate would change that. Sure, lots and maybe most babies would show no lasting ill-effects from that, but it is exposing them to a whole different class of nutrient.

I don't think one bottle of formula is the end of the world, personally, but other things being equal I would have preferred to avoid it.

[clairemow]

hi yellowrose, I think it would be different for a toddler, as they could manage without the milk, and could have something else instead. I wouldn't fancy feeding someone else's toothed toddler, and bet they wouldn't want to anyway!! I was thinking really of a non-weaned baby.

[KathyMCMLXXII]

You wouldn't need to think that bf is much better than formula to still think it would be nice to have the option of cross-nursing: if you'd made the decision to bf (no matter what the reason - could even just be that you couldn't be bothered to make up bottles) and you were in a situation where you couldn't bf for a while, say a few weeks, and you were worried the baby might reject the breast afterwards, it would be a useful alternative.

[yellowrose]

claire - yes you are right ! I think I would defo feed another baby (under 1 years old) - as they do need breastmilk quite often during the day and if separation from the mother's boobs is going to distress them, yes I think it would be very good to bf a friend's or relative's baby : )

[Piffle]

I've done it
Was extreme case though
Was looking after Best Friends 11 week old baby for an hour while BF went to have her hair cut.
She left no milk as she was only going to be gone an hour and she was breastfeeding too.
BF was hit by a car on zebra crossing and rushed to hospital, when she didn't turn up I went to the salon and they had seen what had happened and told me.
Rung hospital BF was in surgery for ruptured spleen
I had a 20 week old ds, her dd so I tandem fed for a few days.
Felt a bit weirdy and we did try a bottle of expressed milk (I had lots in freezer) but she would not take a bottle
BF was totally happy about it I thought she'd freak.
She went back to breastfeeding again a few days later.

[Greensleeves]

You're a good friend, Piffle

[Piffle]

sure beats a screaming baby

[KathyMCMLXXII]

Gosh Piffle.
How/when did you tell her what you'd done?

[spidermama]

I fed my sister's baby. He was about 5 months old at the time and I was babysitting for him while she went out for a drink. Only, he woke up and was screaming. I called my sister but she didn't hear her phone.

To be honest, when you have your own kids at home and a baby who's screaming, it's the most natural thing in the world. At first he looked slightly confused when I offered, but after about one secone he was tucking in and back to sleep within ten mins, meaning my sister got a well earned, proper night out.
Ii'm not sure if I'll ever tell my nephew that I breastfed him though, lest I embarrass him. (He's 6 now).

I was looking after a friends baby who was about 10 months old, while she was at work. We'd been to the beach with my kids and I remember he got very distressed on the train home and was crying very loudly. I offered food and juice and cuddles, but nothing was working and it was getting more and more traumatic for me, my kids and the other passengers. I offered him my milk at that point, but he refused.

I think you just do what your maternal instinct instructs you. I felt totally cool about my sister's baby, because he's family. I was less inclined to offer my friend's baby, but he was so upset I was willing to pull out all the stops to calm him down.

My grandmother was always very proud of the fact that she fed the baby of a very sick woman for a few weeks. This must have been back in the 40s or 50s I guess. She talked about it a great deal as she was really pleased to have been able to do this for someone.

[yellowrose]

piffle - the accident is just a nightmare scenario (I have actually dreamt about being hit by a bus and panicking in hospital about who woud feed my baby while I was in surgery, etc) glad your friend was ok at the end of it and I have to say I really admire you for doing that for her baby. I wish all friends were as nice as you !

[Greensleeves]

I thought exactly that. If I ever have an accident and suddenly can't be with my kids, I hope they are in the care of someone who would do what was best for them.

What would you have done in Piffle's situation, all you "urgh, neeeuw" types? With a baby that wouldn't take a bottle, and its mother in hospital, and milk leaking out of your boobs? It's a no-brainer.

[PigeonPie]

Piffle, I think that's a really fantastic story. I would hope that I would do the same in a similar situation.

[sunandmoon]

When DD was only 3 weeks old, we went to visit the family in France. My twin has a DS only 3 months older than DD. She ran out of his formula milk, couldn't find the one she wanted then while we were gone to find her some, she said that maybe if we don't find the right formula milk then he will have to share with my DD. I was shocked. She never BF him, so I told her that maybe she should have or BF him or get herself a bit more organised!!! I was so glad when she finally got some milk. I don't think I could have done it plus I was worried that DD didn't get enough milk herself!!!

[Piffle]

First thing B F asked when she saw me was what have you been feeding dd with?
I just pointed
I said I wasn't sure which was worse, giving a pro bf mums baby formula or my own milk... I was only 23, but yep no brainer, had never made a bottle in my life, was already donating milk on daily basis to neonatal ward as was BF (generous oversupply)
Was really worried that she sould not take my boob but she did...
Felt not all loving and fabulous like when you feed your own baby, but kind of benevolent , like giving the Big issue seller a quid

[sunandmoon]

You are a very kind one Piffle

[KathyMCMLXXII]

If there were nurseries that had a resident wetnurse I would quite happily have sent my dd to one (except that it would probably be hideously expensive)!

I wonder if there ever will be.

[PandaG]

Piffle, that is a great story.

[KathyMCMLXXII]

LOL at benevolent feeling.
Wonder if the feelings would have changed if you'd done it over a longer period.

[doggiesayswoof]

Yep, great story piffle. They should make a film about it I'd like to think I would do the same. I have no probs with the idea. Was v common in the past and still is in other cultures. Also there are always those fab stories about people bfing puppies etc - doubt if anyone here would consider that though?

This is a great book

[earlgrey]

I just read the title, so excuse me if I've missed something important.

No.

[singersgirl]

I would in an emergency, but would feel more uncomfortable about someone else feeding mine (though I guess it would likely be someone I knew very well, in which case I wouldn't mind so much).

Would have happily donated milk if had been in a situation to.

[clairemow]

Piffle, I think what you did was FANTASTIC! I can't see how BF could possibly have been anything but over the moon with you tbh..

I did wonder about the babysitting for a screaming baby scenario, like your one Spidermama - I think I'd have done the same. If I wasn't sure how the mum would react, I might just have kept quiet though.

[Coolmama]

Apparently my mum, when in hospital after having my sister in the '60's, had so much milk that she fed my sister and a set of premmie twins whose mummy couldn't feed - in those days there were no expressing pumps or anything - ....