Breastfeeding - so at what age do YOU consider it still acceptable?

[PontOffelPock]

Straw poll on what age child MNers consider tips the balance from acceptable to unacceptable for extended breastfeeding?

Honest opinions please, are you (secretly or otherwise) horrified by a 5 year old BFing, or does your horror kick in at 6 months?!

Asking because I am considering how long to continue BFing with DS (1 yo) and admit to be more than a little swayed by 'what people think'!

It's an awful thing to say really, but one thing I was glad on when they got older is that they didn't need to feed in public so, whilst I don't find breastfeeding private or anything like that, never had an issue with feeding in public, I didn't have to worry about the attitudes of people around. It became something I didn't have to talk about and no one really knew whether or not I was breastfeeding. In a way attitudes get better as they get older because people don't know to complain.

Bf is not a cure for cancer. It is not even particularly good food for cancer patients as it is not high calorie.

I am bf my 19 month old who has Wilms Tumour.

to draw a link between bf and cancer is bollocks at best and offensive at worst.

I'm sorry, I haven't read the whole thread, but wanted to answer the op.
I consider natural term bf to be perfectly fine and normal. Up to the sort of age a child loses their milk teeth I suppose, if I had to put an arbitrary 'limit' on it. I wouldn't judge anyone I saw bfing up to about this age.

Personally, Ds breastfed until 3 and 1 month and weaned when I was pregnant. Had I not become pregnant I would have been happy to carry on up until the summer he started school. I would have wanted to wean before school if he hasn't started showing signs of wanting to stop by then.

That's personal preference though- I wouldn't judge anyone for bfing a school age child, it's still great for them and perfectly normal biologically.

But still the sad fact is that there is a huge chasm between what people think on here and in RL.

True. But not one person has ever said anything to me IRL. All the horrible comments have been online (here and other websites).

Personally I think over about 18 months

I've never breastfed myself though so may feel different if I had

I wouldn't judge anyone for it though

For me bottles stop at 12 months anyway

I fed ds1 for 14 months. I stopped because he wasn't that bothered anymore and because he was happy to wean, I wanted to lose weight which I found impossible while bfing! If it had upset him to stop, I would have continued but I just stopped offering and he never asked. Pregnant again and have in my head that I would like to feed til around 2ish but will see - I wouldn't set a hard and fast deadline.

In terms of what other people think though, I found most people to be very clear that it should stop between 6-12 months max and after that 'it's all about the mother's needs'. I hated that attitude and encountered it a lot. My sister's boyfriend was horrified and disbelieving that I was feeding at 12 months but their 2yo still has a bottle and dummy so I don't see the argument. My MIL wanted me to stop at 3mo. I don't know where people get these opinions but they are widespread. It's just not the norm in this country and people feel free to comment! From that perspective, I do understand why some mothers do want to make a point of it eg post about it on fb as mentioned upthread as the more that people are aware of it, the less odd/shocking it becomes.

I was down to 8 and half st after2 weeks bf most maintained that while bf but :( started gaining now I stopped (I think my thyroid went, hyper after birth (I did feel very restless) and then hypo after several months where I stayed)

I never said it was a cure, you are the first person in this thread to use the word. They certainly are in the process of drawing a treatment using breastmilk, as has already been linked to and milk banks certainly do donate to oncology wards. Do you have links that prove this to be "bollocks"?

I'm sorry that you child has a tumour, I really I am. I have l lost a child so I would never minimise what a mother goes through. I also understand what it's like to breastfeed a child who is still seriously sick, my youngest is just over a year old and every cold puts him in hospital with the threat of life support, my eldest was similar although not quite as bad. No one has ever said it is a magic cure all but it does have a lot of properties to it that no one fully understands that do help keep a child healthier and do have good results in testing - however much anecdata like this can look like breastmilk doesn't do anything.

For me, it ties in with the age of when I would find a child using a dummy or a bottle 'wrong', which is about 4-5 years old. I certainly wouldn't comment on an older child breastfeeding/using a dummy/bottle if I saw it. I might comment in private to my OH, but never in front of the parent and child. It's up to her.

I BF until LO was 8 months, I'm surprised we made it that far considering our various issues. I'm massively proud that we got through the issues, and I am very sad that I didn't continue feeding him. It certainly would have come in handy during his recent sleep regression! He is now 21 months, and I really wish I had tried harder to keep breastfeeding going.

I have no problem with anyone breastfeeding a child of any age (well up to say, 9 or so). I am very pro breast feeding. I also think it's a bit odd to object to a child having breastmilk and not to them eating, say, mcDonalds or Monster munch - I know which is a better and more natural food for a child.

But I must admit that if I saw someone doing EBF (which I count as beyond about 18 months or so) I would make judgments about what sort of parent they were. I would probably assume they were an attachment based, child led, co sleeping, dislike saying no type of parent. Would my assumption be correct?

The two friends I have who breastfed past 18 months definitely didn't dislike saying no (one is quite a lot stricter than me). I don't think either used slings and one co-slept for a year, not sure about the other. You wouldn't meet either and think hippy/lentil weaver though.

Actually I do know another who is more hippy/co-sleeping/attachment-y but she seems quite happy to say no too.

Bit of a mass assumption to make minipie. Not everyone who does one of those things does all or any of the others.

I did "attachment parenting" because the theory behind it makes sense to me and I am child led to an extent but I am not totally wishy washy and wet which is what I think you are maybe implying a bit? I don't "not like saying no" but I like to think before I say no and not say it just for the sake of it. I wouldn't stop DS from doing something he wanted to do unless there was a reason for it (which could be as simple as "that's annoying") so I suppose it's an extension of that but I wouldn't say that AP parents in general are afraid to say no, that's a bit of a myth IME.

A couple of years ago, pre DCs, I would have thought it odd to BF past about 1.

But since I have a near 3-year old who is still very much attached and feeding daily, I have now revised that opinion!

I was at playgroup the other day and fed him when he was upset, then mentioned to another mum that we were going for lunch. She asked where, and I told her McDonalds - she was really surprised and said she thought I would be going to the local 'alternative' veggie cafe or something and that she didn't think I was the type for McDs! I have used slings exclusively (only used pushchair 3 times for dentist since DS3 was born), BF 3 kids past a year and co-slept with DS3 (his idea, not mine). She therefore apparently had an image in their head of what extended BFers are like - and Maccy D's didn't fit with that!

Very big assumption!

Yes, I am AP, yes I bedshare (cosleep means to share a room, not a bed) I use slings, I do BLW etc but my children are not undisciplined and all of my AP friends would say the same of their children. My eldest is very well behaved, adults complain they feel they have to behave around her as she makes them notice themselves. My middle two were given a good telling off yesterday because they think it funny to hit their sister or kick her chair in the car. They know that there are consequences for being naughty. I might not hit my children but that does not mean they are undisciplined! Hitting is nothing to do with AP v DP!

I'm just too lazy to wean likewise too lazy to sleep train.

But we use a pushchair, are very good at saying no, and I worked from when DS was 7 months until I was made redundant when on mat leave with DD.

Plenty of 'AP' types do practice extended bfing, but it doesn't mean that extended breastfeeding is only done by those who also follow the AP rule book slavishly. I think maybe it's just that those who shout loudest about ebf are often those who also follow SP - because the rest of us are just getting on with life, a part of which includes bfing an older child. Same with lots of parenting stuff - some folk will find a topic to follow (BLW, natural birth, ebfing, baby wearing, home schooling etc etc), and talk about it to whoever listens. others just do what suits them, and sod what anyone else thinks.

My daughter is 22 months still breastfeeding multiple times daily.

Attachment based?
Not sure, but I respond to my child with love and respect.
I had a crotch dangler for a few weeks for short trips out then was told about ergonomic carriers and I bought a mei tai to replace it. I used the pram and pushchair everyday though and still do, couldn't do without it.

Child led?
I tried BLW but it didn't really work out, I did the puree route plus finger foods, she still isn't that into food, much like her father. Eats to survive. Whereas I LOVE food.

Co-sleeping?
We didn't co-sleep at the start, she slept in a moses basket up to 5 months right next to the bed, then moved to her cot in our room, around 7 months we started co-sleeping after the first wake up in the wee hours. At 18 months we moved her cot to her own room and we still co sleep after the first wake up in the wee hours.

Dislike saying no parent?
I save the word no for really important stuff. I'm more of a remove and distract parent at the moment. At her age hearing the word no over and over would just end up in her being deaf to it and it not meaning anything. We've all seen a parent going 'no, no, no, and being completely ignored. When I do say no she instantly stops what she's doing and her bottom lip quivers. Sometimes she even squeezes out a tear. But it means something, and she listens and responds to it.

I don't think it's up to me to decide what's acceptable or unacceptable for other people's kids tbh. I'd go further and say it's completely unacceptable to have any negative opinion at all about full term breastfeeding. It's none of your business if it's someone else's kid, so I'd be inclined to think anyone finding it unacceptable is a big stupid arse tbh.

But most people outside MN are big stupid arses on this issue OP, so it's not the most reliable forum. Go over to Netmums and you'll prob get more representative (ie hopelessly stupid) views.

thought that might be the response!

I wasn't criticising AP parents at all. It wouldn't work for me I think (eg tried co sleeping and didn't sleep a wink) but that doesn't mean I don't respect it as an approach if it suits you and your DC.

By not saying no, I meant that approach where you don't ever discipline but rely solely on distraction/explanation - can't remember what it's called!

I couldn't do attachment, they get too heavy to carry around voluntarily, I'm struggling to lift her into push chair.
I did blw mixed with spoon feeding, she Loves food.
I said in hospital I wouldn't co-sleep for safety reasons but had no choice from the start as wouldn't sleep without being held. So not my choice. This gradually got better until 11m I cut out soya did sleep training and mostly had bed back except for teething or allergy.
Say no a lot - she is really naughty just before bed, how we tell she is tired

naty you can't do BLW mixed with spoon feeding

BLW is where the baby is the only one to put food in their mouths.