Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

My local radio station was discussing breast feeding in a restaurant last night, and the DJ said..........................................

193 replies

waterfalls · 07/07/2006 12:22

Yes I know its natural, but so is taking a pee and I would'nt do that in the middle of the restaurant, the mothers should do it in the bathroom

I wonder how many complaint letters he can expect in the next few days.

OP posts:
moondog · 11/07/2006 23:59

Tis sent.

SecurMummy · 12/07/2006 00:01

That was quick!

Cheers - yes it does kind of make it look better doesn't it, hmm, the cinic in me says that she is supposed to excuse him though

LaDiDaDi · 12/07/2006 10:25

Have just checked my email and I got a reply too:

Hello Carmen

1st & foremost thanks for letting me know your feelings
about my comments on my show.
As a broadcaster I'm encouraged to be honest about my thoughts & feelings
otherwise what's the point of me being there?
Obviously from time to time you will not agree with my views (& why should you)
I do feel though that you have grossly misinterpreted my comments - I merely said that
I did not wish to witness breast feeding a child whilst I was eating in a restaurant
I did not say that you should breast feed in a toilet - I also said that better provisions should be made
for breast feeding in public places - As ever some listeners pick up on one point & completely distort
my words from then on

I hope you will continue to listen to my show with an open mind & take note of all the comments in future

Finally - I feel that your comments about my age & position on the radio we used as a
cheap shot in getting back at me - Far from it - I'm happy being 45 & doing the job that I do

Regards

Graham Torrington

What do you think of that ladies?

Cappucino · 12/07/2006 10:33

not impressed

why should they make provision for us?

so they can shut us away and not bother arses like this?

why can't a baby feed in a restaurant like everyone else?

tosser

I hope whoever is having this email conversation with him will challenge him to have a breastfeeding expert on, if he's got such an open mind and all

surely by 45 he's not so stuck in his ways he can't take on new ideas?

whose local dj is he? Can they set him up an interview with an NCT breastfeeding person?

LaDiDaDi · 12/07/2006 10:39

My thoughts exactly cappucino.

I think that yes it's nice to have a room that mums can go to breastfeed in if they feel uncomfortable about doing it in public but there is a danger that this makes it seem like breasfeeding should not be seen.
Personally if I was out at a restaurant enjoying a meal I wouldn't be very impressed with the idea of leaving those I was with to sit in some corner to feed my baby.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 10:43

Sorry ladeeeeez but breast feeding in a restaurant doesnt do much for me either. Too many women these days are far from discreet and getting their hooters out. Its all about balance.

LucyJu · 12/07/2006 11:05

Pardon? Where exactly are all these hooter-flashing breastfeeders then? I know that I rarely see a baby being breastfed when I am out and about, and of those I do see, the majority I probably wouldn't even have noticed had I not been a breast-feeder myself.

And why should mothers be discreet? Why exactly should they have to try and hide themselves away in a corner when they are doing no more or less than feed their babies the way that babies are meant to be fed? Oh sorry, it's to avoid offending your sensibilities - s*d the baby's (and the mother's) health and welbeing (not to mention the mother's sensibilies!)

"All about balance" my arse!

tiktok · 12/07/2006 11:06

tenalady, no one is asking you to give up your hangups about bf in a restaurant, or, indeed, wondering why on earth you think that 'hooters' are an acceptable term for breasts, or even speculating on why you think breastfeeding is 'getting them out' (the amount of flesh on display is negligible).

But we are asking you to avoid using those hangups to prevent a young baby having his dinner where his mother feels most comfortable and able to care for him (and any other children she happens to have with her).

I hardly ever see anyone bf in a resturant, and I look out for them! I don't know what the definition of 'too many women' is anyway, but I would say there aren't enough

The more people that do it, the more people with your particular bee in the bonnet will just have to grow up, or else stay at home.

prettybird · 12/07/2006 11:16

I was always extremely discreet and most people wuld have been hard pushed to tell that ds was breastfeeding.

In the first few months, it was extremely difficult to get ds to latch on properly - but when I was out and about I used to accept that I might not get a "good" latch, but as along as it was "good enough", then I wouldn't take the risk of faffing about and exposing myslef and otherwise drawing attention to myslef.

I never once had anyone comment on me feeding ds in public (I fed him until he was 13 months old) - and that included posh restaurants in Glasgow (before the legislation was passed).

Like others have said, I am sure that many of these people who are uncomfortable are unaware of how often they may have been in the vicinity of someone breastfeeding without even noticing.

moondog · 12/07/2006 11:33

Yes Tena.
Who knows.The sight of you eating your dinner may put me off,but hell,I'd just have to live with it.

Callisto · 12/07/2006 11:34

For goodness sake tenalady the only problem here is your hangup about breast feeding. I would hope it 'doesn't do much' for you as it is about getting nutrition into a baby and where better to have a meal than in a restaurant? Sort your self out and try being a little more supportive to the women who breast feed.

wherethewildthingsare · 12/07/2006 11:58

I despair, I don't want extra provision to feed my baby (especially if a tiny airless room full of dirty nappies!). I just want to be left alone and to be honest after bf 4 children I have never had a complaint - this includes 'posh' restaurants, churches (would you rather he cried?) and the Royal Institute of Chartered Surveyors in Parliament Square (and there are guys wearing knickerbockers there!). The other day I fed ds3 in Sainsburys cafe whilst eating a sandwich, drinking tea and reading the paper - I got not one prolonged glance from the room. I just don't get my boobs out! I lift my top a bit and away we go. When I was paying for my shopping at the checkout I saw a woman sat on a chair, swathed in a tent of blankets. My first reaction, along with 99% of other shoppers was 'poor woman, has she had an accident?' when I looked closer I could see a little dark head (ahh) she was feeding! Unfortunately for her, everyone was staring at her because she had drawn so much attention to herself - I think we need to help new mums to blend in.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 12:04

remember ladies we are all mothers here, I do not have a hang up for breast feeding I myself breastfed. I do think that as mothers we forget the social comfort scales for others. So take your mummy heads off and consider others by being discreet. Of course all babies need feeding as and when no one is disputing that.

Callisto · 12/07/2006 12:06

Agree totally about being left to get on with it, but why should bfers have to blend in? It is so anal to have a problem with a woman feeding her child and maybe showing a bit of skin.

SoupDragon · 12/07/2006 12:08

"Sorry ladeeeeez but breast feeding in a restaurant doesnt do much for me either. Too many women these days are far from discreet and getting their hooters out. Its all about balance."

So don't look! Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Very few bf-ing women come up to other diners and wave their norks in their face. Usually they just sit quietly at their own table and feed their baby.

I find extremely ugly people (*) distracting/offensive when I'm eating in a restaurant. Do I insist they eat their food elsewhere? No, I just don't look at them.

(* This isn't strictly true before all you extrememly ugly people jump on me )

Callisto · 12/07/2006 12:10

Tena - I am amazed that as a bfer yourself you prefer to use the loos to feed your baby rather than feeding in the restaurant just incase you breach someones 'social comfort zone'.

poisson · 12/07/2006 12:11

or fat peopel
yuk

wherethewildthingsare · 12/07/2006 12:11

I don't think bfers should have to blend in, but I think it would help new bfers feel more comfortable. I think its awful that so many people give up because they don't want to do it in public.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 12:12

If there was an offensive eater and I am paying good money to eat, I have been known to move. You are missing my point, discreet is fine, I dont want to see anybodies bare flesh regardless of their activity. Gay men kissing in a restaurant, anyone care to comment..

Callisto · 12/07/2006 12:13

Or don't start in the first place for the same reason.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 12:13

Never used the loos was just a little more discreet. You do not need to get the whole thing out to feed your baby. I do think sometimes women do this to attract attention.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 12:14

Blaze>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>....

poisson · 12/07/2006 12:14

brastfeeding one are not attractive
y ou dont need ot expose the hwoel nork

geekgrrl · 12/07/2006 12:15

sorry, don't see any difference between a gay couple kissing and straight one. Don't much approve of snogging (rather than kissing) in restaurants whatever the participants' sexual orientation may be.
Gay couples have just as much a right to display affection as straight ones.

tenalady · 12/07/2006 12:16

I once spoke with mummy for ages and didnt even notice until the baby unlatched. Now thats discreet.