Anyone ever SAID anything to you about breastfeeding in public?

[gail734]

I don't go out of my way to do this, but yesterday at lunchtime I BFd DD (9 mo) in TGI Fridays. The alternative was going to be some fussy crying. I promise you couldn't see a thing. The two mummies with me looked a bit surprised. The waiter looked horrified. Nobody said anything, though. A friend told me that another woman called her "disgusting" when she realised that she was feeding a new baby in a sling, while walking around a supermarket!

I'm really glad to read all this, especially the lovely comments that some people have had.
I really struggled to bf and ended up giving formula and expressed milk.
I got 2 negative comments about ff in public, people saying it was a shame or asking why no bf which really upset me.
I was mortified to ff in public and avoided certain places as I felt I was being judged.
So it just goes to show, sometimes you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
Someone always has something to say.

Only had positive comments myself incl in the US embassy

Worst was in an airport with husband's mates going how great it was that bf was so acceptable nowadays (one of them clearly wasn't that keen)

An old work collegue of mine lovely bloke, bit of a womaniser commented once when I was feeding a tiny dd, "I thought you said she needed feeding?" "but I can't see any of your breast that's not fair"
I just rolled my eyes and laughed at him, whilst his wife went beetroot.

Dd2, sat on bus feeding dd, old lady sat behind taps me on the shoulder, "I thought you were feeding, much better than them screaming on the bus"

I can't remember having any negative comments though,

I've had many lovely comments from men and women of all sorts of ages. I can only recall one unpleasant experience when feeding 3 day old ds2 in Tesco (first trip out because I urgently needed groceries!). Someone complained to the manager about me feeding him on one of the seats at the bottom of the checkout so the manager asked me to move to the changing room. I had a slightly hormonal rage at him & put him in his place.

I've not had any negative comments so far, but now DS is 7 months and on solids a few people ask if I'm still breastfeeding. I can imagine that the "still" is going to become more emphasised from now on.

For the first 6 weeks I was really grateful for private rooms as DS could take up to an hour to latch on (tongue tie) and I found the struggle to be embarrassing. Now I feed anywhere.

Gizza I go to a Catholic Church. Not only has everyone there been lovely about me nursing DS, there are also signs up saying breastfeeding welcome. I think it is one of their drives and they really support it, so ignore MIL next time and feed in a pew!

I never experienced negative comments when feeding my 2, neither did my friend much to her chagrin I suspect who was probably the most in-you-face bfeeder I've ever met. I remember 3 of us older mums at an out door summer event weghing up whether to say something when she sat stripped to the waist, in the full sun trying to persuade a hot and bothered, equally uncovered baby to feed when there was a seat in cooler, shadier place about 5-6 metres away. We chickened out, but did fetch the baby a hat.

no one ever said anything to me about breastfeeding in public. When i started to ff, I got a few negative comments.

I sometimes feel like the 'person who criticises a woman for bf in public' myth is similar to the 'angry feminist who gets cross when men hold doors open for her" myth- ie they are caricatures used to prove a point and don't actually exist in real life, or at least not to any significant level.

Only ever had positive comments here too. Along the lines of 'oh it's lovely to see a mother feeding'

ExMil did once say 'can't you do that later?' When I was feeding a 3 week old ds at SIL wedding. I was on a bench in the grounds of a hotel at the time, not a sole anywhere near us

When my DD was about 5months, I fed her on a bench in a churchyard, always covered up with a muslin/shawl,
Young guy (about 18) and his girlfriend made some very nasty comments about my "ugly tits" and how disgusting I was and how I shouldn't be showing my breasts in public. He was carrying a copy of The Sun which I reminded him of.
His girlfriend told me she was going to call the police and get me arrested, she then pretended to ring them.
I told them to fuck off but was quite scared as there was noone else there and I had my pfb with me.
They did fuck off in the end but left me quite shaken.
That was the only time, but that was enough, I did continue to bf to 10 months.

Tvmum unfortunately its definitely not a myth
Would be better if it was of course

I've found this thread really interesting as I managed to work up the courage to bf in public for the very first time ever this week; it's so reassuring that people's positive interactions seem to have largely outweighed any negative comments. Now I've got past my shyness I'm planning to do a lot more public breastfeeding for as long as me and my 6week old pfb daughter choose. It's great to feel so empowered

That is great KnittedC. Add in the fact that most people don't say anything. I have had masses of smiles over the years with my two. Of course, I always smile at anyone sitting feeding their baby too - whether bottle or breast. It's just nice, isn't it, seeing a mum and baby together. The disapprovers are a tiny minority.

Never had a negative comment, have had positive ones.

Also had a few people come over to 'have a peep at baby's not realising I'm feeding then get a bit embarrassed- bless!

I once had a pervy guy say 'oh, I probably shouldn't look' when he realised what I was doing.

BF was once mentioned in one of DS's school letters. Apparently some parents had complained about a mother BFing in the playground at pick up in front of her DC and they wanted the schoo to ban it. Luckily the school had a very sensible approach and made it clear in the newsletter that they would not be banning BFing.

Just remembered, I was once BFing at my friend's house. Her DP was sat next to me and she said in a way that was clear she wanted me to stop, 'you do know what she is doing, don't you?'. I think she felt threatened that he might be looking but he couldn't have seen anything even if he was . I just ignored her and carried on.

No negative comments - would have been ready for them. Once had an encouraging comment in Pizza Hut from a dad who was there with his older children - along the lines of what a good job i was doing.

Yes, bfing a tiny, tiny DD1 I was asked to leave the restaurant (Ritz Carlton, Palm Springs, CA). I was being incredibly discreet too, completely covered, no noise, nothing (1990, perhaps the RC has changed).

The only time I had a comment was from an elderly git gentleman who tutted and muttered disgusting. I told him it was the best for my baby and that it was pretty much 100% certain he'd been fed that way when he was a baby. He looked a bit surprised and wandered off.

When I had DD2 I was at university and often fed her in the student cafe before a lecture or tutorial. Loads of the younger students would come over and ask all about it, how it worked, how it felt etc. I used to get them fetch me a drink, to wind DD2 and change her nappy. I told them it was good practice for when they had kids Sometimes they'd rock her to sleep in a lecture and she'd get passed round for a hold and I'd have to track her down when it ended. Fortunately she was a very content baby.

That reminds me actually, I often used to feed DD in her sling under my coat or cardigan on the bus standing up or in a lecture to keep her quiet

Sorry, Palm Desert, not Springs.

Rosyfingereddawn - that's awful. Quite speechless actually at how foul some people can be.

I formula fed DS, for various boring reasons that strangers (obviously) don't know. I had loads and loads of glares and couldn't even react with any kind of moral high ground the way all you bf-ers can at least you know you're doing 'the right thing' whereas ff-ing a little baby can feel like shooting up heroin in public.

It's lovely to hear that the majority of comments have been positive!

I've bfed for 22 months now mainly in France but also in Greece and have not had any negative experiences. A few women have made positive comments, either sharing their own experiences of having young babies or saying what a nice thing it is to see bf.

The only slightly negative experience I've had is a (British) friend who can't sit in the same room as me when I bf. I think he finds it sexually explicit which is bizarre particularly as he and his wife have shared her glamour photo shoot photos with DP and I so we have seen a lot more of her than her breasts!

DD is a rather large 22mo now and still bfs loads so I have to admit I am more apprehensive about bfing an older looking toddler in public.

No comments, positive or negative, in 2001 and 2003/4.

Just read back. Yes Rosy, that's awful. Very grim people.